Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

L iam woke me shortly after sunrise. Joe wasn't next to me, and it was obvious he'd never come to bed.

I crossed the hall and found my son standing in his crib, reaching for me. I scooped him up and showered him with kisses, then changed his diaper, telling him that Mommy was going to spend all day with him. He tried to repeat what I had said and blew raspberries at me. Obviously finding himself hilarious, he broke into giggles, which made me laugh too. My heart was still heavy after my conversation with Joe, but it was hard to be sullen when Liam's smile lit up my heart.

I carried him downstairs and found Joe sound asleep, sitting upright on the sofa. His head was leaned back against the top of the cushion, and his feet were outstretched on the coffee table. It looked like he hadn't intentionally slept down here, which made me feel slightly better.

"Dada," Liam mumbled softly, reaching toward Joe, but I carried him into the kitchen, whispering that Daddy had been working really hard, and we needed to let him sleep. I poured some Cheerios into a plastic bowl, grabbed a throw from the end of the love seat, then took Liam out the back door and around to the front porch. We sat on the porch swing, and I covered us in the throw to ward off the morning chill while Liam babbled about the birds and who knew what else while he ate his cereal. I smiled and repeated what he had said, and he grinned up at me. My heart melted into a pile of goo. I loved this boy with my entire being, and I couldn't help being worried that I'd somehow put him in danger. We could never truly escape our past, and maybe mine was catching up to me.

I'd been hoping Dermot would get to the bottom of what was going on, but now I couldn't help wondering if he'd had something to do with it. My only comfort was that Jed wouldn't be talking to Dermot if he thought he was responsible, and he sure wouldn't have let his men watch over us. Even so, I was in a real pickle.

What was I going to do?

A short while later, the front door opened, and a bleary-eyed Joe appeared, carrying two steaming mugs.

"I noticed you hadn't made any coffee and figured you might need some," he said with a sheepish look, handing me one of the mugs as an obvious peace offering.

I accepted it and took a sip. "How'd you know we were out here?"

"I heard Liam."

I cringed. "Sorry, I was trying to let you sleep. We should have stayed in the back."

"No, it was a delightful sound to wake up to, given everything I've been dealing with over the last few days."

Liam reached toward Joe. "Dada!"

Joe took a big pull of his steaming coffee, then winced as he set it on the ledge of the porch railing and picked up his son. Liam giggled as Joe hefted him up onto his chest and reclaimed his coffee cup.

Joe glanced at the spot Liam had vacated and gave me a questioning look.

I moved the blanket, and Joe sat beside me, settling Liam on his lap. I handed Liam his plastic bowl.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I overreacted last night when you questioned my dreams and my vision. You were tired, and you were just trying to understand."

" I'm sorry too. I was out of line last night," Joe said softly. "I never should have questioned your vision. I think it just scared the shit out of me, and dismissing it was the only way I could deal with it. I'm not typically a head-in-the-sand sort of guy, but apparently I was last night. I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

He turned with sympathy in his eyes. "How long has it been since you've seen someone die in a vision?"

"Since Hardshaw."

He nodded, then grimaced. "This must have freaked you out, and I just blew it off. I'm really sorry, Rose. You needed my support, and instead, I insinuated it was your imagination."

I leaned into him, resting my temple against his shoulder. "I understand why you were worried. I forgive you."

"I'm still going to have Randy look into who the Selena woman could be, and I'm going to call the sketch artist. I'll help you try to figure out who your vision was about."

"Thank you, but we both know looking for Selena in—I'm presuming missing person reports—will likely be a bust."

"But it's still worth a try," he countered.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's worth a try. Hopefully the sketch of the man will help."

"Agreed." He took another sip from his mug, then said, "It was especially out of line for me to accuse you of running around as the Lady in Black. I know you would never do anything to put yourself or our kids in danger. You've proven that time and time again. My only excuse is that I was tired and scared someone was seeking out Lady, not that it's any excuse at all."

"You're human, Joe, and far from perfect."

He laughed. "Thanks, I think."

"I'm far from perfect too. I should have told you about the boy showing up sooner, but I felt caught in the middle. I wasn't sure how to approach it."

"Because he wouldn't let you call me."

"Yeah. I tried every which way to Sunday to get him to tell you, but he kept threatening to run off, and even though I know I should tell you everything he told me, I still feel this weird loyalty to Lady." When he didn't protest, I continued. "This boy came to me because he thought I could protect him, and reaching out to me may have saved his life." I shook my head. "I'm not suggesting I actually saved his life, but he was scared, and when he felt he had no one to turn to, he came to me. He walked for miles to get to Bruce Wayne's jobsite to find me. I guess I couldn't help but think that if I handed him over to you, no one would ever trust Lady again."

"But she doesn't exist, Rose," he said insistently. "You let her go years ago."

"I know, but he thought of Lady as a safe refuge. How do I destroy that? Especially if something sinister is moving back into the county."

"But we don't know that something sinister is moving back into the county, and can't you see that by letting this boy come to you, others might do the same? Then you put yourself and the kids in danger because people seeking sanctuary are running from people who might try to get to them through you."

"I know, Joe. I know. And I'm torn up and confused about the whole thing. I just want to help people."

"There has to be another way, Rose. It's too dangerous to keep this up."

I knew he was right, but I couldn't stand the thought of people coming to harm when I could have helped them. "We don't know that anyone else will come to me. This kid asked his friend for help, and it was his friend who suggested he call Lady."

"I don't like that people are still talkin' about her," Joe said, his voice tight.

"I was surprised by it too, but I didn't waste any time calling Dermot, and he came and took the boy to a safe house."

His eyes narrowed. "You sure you can trust him?"

"Yes," I said. Even though I was having doubts about his involvement in this mess, I knew in my heart that he'd never hurt me. "I'd trust him with my life, and you know it. Three years ago, you trusted him too."

"We're in different positions now. I'm representing the law. He's on the other side."

"I'm not going to debate that with you," I said, wishing he'd understand. "But I needed help, and once again, Dermot showed up to give it to me."

"You could have called me. You should have called me."

I looked him in the eye, my heart aching that we were still disagreeing over this. "And you know why I couldn't. Perhaps you should be more worried that a kid witnessed a crime and was too scared to tell the authorities, and instead took a risk and asked to see someone who hasn't been around in nearly three years."

He did a double take, then started to say something when the screen door pushed open and a bleary-eyed Hope wandered out with Muffy on her heels. "I was looking for you, Momma and Daddy," she said in an accusatory tone.

Muffy took off for the front yard to do her business.

Joe took another long pull of coffee, then set it on the floor before he reached out to her. "Sorry if we scared you, sweet pea."

"I wasn't scawad," she said, waddling over to him. "I was lost."

"You weren't lost, silly," he said as he pulled her up to sit between us. "You were exactly where you were supposed to be."

"But I lost you ," she said, sticking out her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry if we scared you," I said, tucking the blanket around her legs. "How did you know where to find us?"

"I heawd you and Daddy talkin'." She glanced over at Liam, outrage in her eyes. "Liam, you ate bweakfast without me?"

"He just had some Cheerios," I said. "I haven't made breakfast yet."

"Do we have school today?" she asked, leaning her head into my side. I couldn't resist leaning over and inhaling her sweet scent.

"Not today. We get to spend the whole day together."

"Can I play with Daisy?"

"You play with Daisy every day," Joe said. "Today you get to spend the whole day with Mommy."

"But you'll probably see her at Mikey's soccer game," I said, then glanced over her head at Joe. "He has a game at one."

Joe looked devastated. "I don't think I'll be able to make it."

Two homicides within forty-eight hours meant that for the safety of the county, the job obviously had to come first for him today, but after our fight, the whole Lady thing, and now my vision and dreams, I wanted to be selfish and tell him I needed him. But I wouldn't because he could help me best by catching the murderers, and I wasn't about to make him feel even guiltier than he already did.

"Joe," I said, placing my hand on his arm. "Mikey will understand."

He turned to me. "But will you?"

"Of course. You're protecting us too. How could I be upset?"

Ashley walked out the front door, shooting a wary glance at Joe. She walked over to me and sat on my free side, wrapping her arms around my waist. "Why's everyone outside? It's cold."

"Liam woke up early, so I brought him outside to see the birds and bunnies. What are you doing up so early?"

"I heard you and Uncle Joe talking." She gave Joe another look that he didn't notice as she tightened her arms around me.

She was here to protect me. It made me love her even more than I already did, which I hadn't thought possible, but it also made me sad.

I squeezed her back. "I was thinking about making waffles or French toast for breakfast. Any votes?"

"Waffles," Hope said.

"Waffs," Liam repeated.

"Liam always says what Hope or Mikey says," Ashley groused.

"You want French toast?" I asked, looking down at her.

She shrugged, not meeting my gaze. "I don't know."

"Joe, your vote can make this a tie," I said.

He made a face. "I'm not sure I'll be here for breakfast. I have to head into the station for an eight o'clock meeting."

"Oh," I said, trying not to let my disappointment bleed through.

"But before I go, Rose, you and I need to finish our discussion," he said pointedly.

Ashley's arms tightened around me.

"It's okay, Ash," I said as I kissed the top of her head. "Why don't we go inside, and you and the littles can watch TV."

She glanced over at Joe and reluctantly said, "Okay."

We all headed inside, and I gave Ashley the remote to pick something on TV. Joe trailed me into the kitchen.

"What's up with Ashley? You think she's still spooked by your nightmare?"

"That, and she's upset that she heard you shouting in the kitchen last night."

He ran a hand over his head. "Shit."

"Exactly."

"She thinks I would hurt you?" he asked in disbelief.

"I'm sure she knows you would never do that, but who knows what kinds of fights she heard between Violet and Mike before they split up—twice. I've assured her that married people argue sometimes, but maybe you should do some damage control before you go."

"Yeah," he said absently, staring into the living room from the kitchen doorway. "I will." He turned back to me as I pulled out a mixing bowl and whisk and set them on the counter. "But before I talk to her, I need to know what that kid witnessed, Rose."

"And I told you that I can't tell you." But I did need to find out where the second body had been found. There was no way I could ask him without giving him more details. Not that Joe would have told me anyway. I'd have to find out through a different source.

"That means you're withholding evidence, Rose," he said in frustration.

" I didn't witness anything ," I said, brushing past him to get the flour from a cabinet on the other side. "What I'd tell you is hearsay."

"Anything is better than nothing. It's called a lead ."

I shot him a glare. "No need to get snippy with me, Sheriff Simmons . And I'm not telling you anything without this kid's permission. It's his story to tell, not mine."

"It has something to do with one of these murders, doesn't it?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"Dammit, Rose!" he grunted in frustration, then flinched when he realized Ashley was standing in the doorway.

"Hope is thirsty, Aunt Rose," she said, seeming to shrink into herself. "I was going to get her some juice."

"Ashley," Joe started, but she turned and left the room before he could finish.

"Dammit!" he grunted again under his breath. "Now she thinks I'm some kind of monster."

"She's just not used to us arguing." I was still irritated with him, but I hated that Ashley had seen more of his irritation than mine. "We need to let her know that just because we're arguing doesn't mean we don't love each other."

"Yeah," he said, looking defeated. "That sounds like a good idea."

"Joe." I walked over to him and placed my hands on his chest, staring up at him with a soft smile. "I'm doing the best I can here, and I know you are too. I'll see what I can do about getting this boy to talk to you, okay? He needs to fully trust me first."

"Which means you'll be talkin' to Dermot," he said, crestfallen.

"I know that bothers you since you're bringing him for an interview."

"If word got out…"

"Then I'll find another way around it. What if I can get the kid to give me permission to tell you what he saw if I leave his name out of it. Will that work?"

"It's not ideal, but if that's the best we can do…"

"I might have another way to talk to him without going through Dermot, and no, I can't tell you what it is. I need you to trust me. Can you do that?" I figured Jed could play go-between.

He stared down at me. "I trust you."

I lifted up onto my tiptoes and kissed him hard. He wrapped his arm around the small of my back, pulling me close as he kissed me back. Then he leaned his forehead against mine and whispered, "I hate it when we fight."

"Me too," I whispered back.

Pulling away with a sigh, he glanced at the clock on the wall. "I need to get ready. Otherwise, I'm gonna be late to my meeting."

I took his hand in mine and tugged him into the living room. Ashley was sitting on the sofa between Hope and Liam. "Ashley, can Uncle Joe and I talk to you for a moment?"

She glanced over at Joe, her gaze hardening, but she nodded.

"Maybe let's come into the kitchen for a moment," I said. "Hope, will you watch your little brother and make sure he doesn't get into trouble?"

"Okay, Momma," Hope said, nodding at me with large, round eyes that made it clear she took her responsibility gravely.

Ashley followed us into the kitchen, and I gestured for her to sit at the table while Joe and I took chairs next to each other. I placed our linked hands on the table.

"Ash," I said gently, "I know you're upset with Uncle Joe right now, but I want you to know that grownups have arguments, especially married people."

"But you and Uncle Joe don't fight."

"We do," Joe said, "but we don't argue very often, and when we have in the past, we've tried hard to make sure that you kids never saw or heard us. I got careless."

Tears filled her eyes. "Why are you so mad at Aunt Rose?"

He gave me a questioning look, then turned back to face her. "It's grown-up stuff that doesn't have anything to do with you or any of the other kids."

"Are you gonna get divorced?"

"What?" Joe asked in surprise. "No."

"Definitely not," I assured her. "Joe and I love each other very, very much. You love Mikey, but sometimes you fight, right?" When she nodded, I said, "See? It's just like that. We're not getting a divorce. We're just disagreeing about a few things, but we'll work it out."

"Do you feel better?" Joe asked.

She nodded. "Yeah, but I still don't like it when you yell."

"I don't like it when I yell either," Joe said. "So I'll try my hardest not to yell anymore."

"Okay," she said.

He turned to me. "My vote is French toast—same as Ashley. So now, it's a tie."

"I've already decided to make both," I said. "So everyone wins. Now you better go get ready for work, or you're gonna be late."

He leaned over, kissed me, then stared into my eyes. "The luckiest day of my life was the day you married me." I snorted, and he turned serious. "I'm sorry I'm leaving you with all of this."

"We'll be fine. Go save the world."

He kissed me again, then got up and hugged Ashley, but as they walked out of the kitchen together, I couldn't help feeling that I was on the brink of losing something dear to me. I just didn't know what.