20. Bella

20

BELLA

H e looks me in the eyes, like he needs reassurance. I don’t know what else to say or do to let him know I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want to go all the way with him so badly, I ache.

I suppose it’s nice of him to worry about this decision. I imagine he’s thinking I should wait until I find true love or something. But who knows if that will happen? If he fails and I’m handed over to his father…well, I don’t want to think about what could happen to me, but it won’t be nice. Not like this.

I press my hand to his chest and lean in, kissing him. Like I hoped, it breaks the tether on whatever is holding him back. His mouth ravages mine as he tosses a blanket behind me and lays me back in front of the fire. His hands are everywhere, stirring up the fire inside me.

I run my hands over him, feeling his warm, strong back, how the muscles bunch under my touch.

He sucks on a nipple, and my mind goes blank. All I feel is sensation. Glorious, torturous sensation. As he licks and sucks, his hands undo my jeans and push them down along with my underwear. The room is cooling down, but the warmth of the fire and heat Nic is stoking in me more than make up for it.

His lips trail down my belly and lower as he pushes my thighs apart.

Shock fills me. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to have dessert.” His fingers part my folds. Can he really mean that? He’s going to use his mouth down there? Sure, I’ve heard of that, but I figured it was something only in porn and romance novels.

“Relax, Bellissima. You’ll like this.” His tongue slides through my folds.

“Oh. My. God.” My fingers grip the blanket under me as my world tilts on its axis. My hips gyrate, wanting more.

He makes an “mmm” sound and then his tongue swirls around. “Your clit is hard… so pink…”

“Nic.” Desperation fills me. This is even more than before. More sensations. More intense.

“Let me taste here.” His tongue slides inside me, lapping at my sensitive walls.

“Oh… Oh…” My head arches back. I’m completely lost in all my senses. My body is vibrating. My blood is humming.

When he removes his tongue, I whimper until he sucks on my clit. My entire body bows off the floor as a tsunami of pleasure rushes through me.

“Nic!”

He makes the “mmm” sound again, his tongue licking and lapping as I rock and buck beneath him.

I’m a wet noodle when he kisses his way up my body. “You taste sweet, Bellissima.” He kisses me, and at first I try to refuse it, not wanting to taste myself. But he’s insistent, and I find it not unpleasant.

“Tell me, did you enjoy that?” His eyes shine with amusement.

“You know I did.” I worry that he’s finished, that’s he going to avoid having sex with me like he did earlier. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to… you know.”

He arches a brow. “If you can’t say it, you’re not ready to do it.” He licks my nipple, making my body quiver again. “Say, it Bella. Tell me you want me to fuck you.”

I’m sure he thinks he’s offending my innocent sensibilities, so I prove him wrong. “Fuck me, Nic.”

He growls as he pushes away from me. “Be sure. Once I fuck you, you’re no longer?—”

“Do you think that’s my only value?”

“Hell no, but your father?—”

“I thought you said I could be free? Doesn’t it mean I’m free to decide what to do with my body? Who I’ll give my virginity to? I decided on you, Nic. You should be grateful.”

His lips twitch upward. “You’re right.” He stands, shoving his pants down. This is the first time I’ve seen him completely naked. My body pulses with anticipation and a little nervousness as I take another look at his penis, standing hard and proud. He grabs a strip of condoms from his pocket. He unwraps one and rolls it on.

He kneels between my legs, taking his penis and rubbing it through my folds. “Be sure, Bella.”

“Fuck me, Nic,” I say again so he knows I’m sure.

He growls again and presses in. Pressure strains me as his tip enters me. I look up to his face, his dark eyes watching me.

“Okay?”

I nod, knowing I should expect pain this first time. I lift my hips, wanting this, wanting him. His hand slides up my belly to my breast. “You have a body made for fucking, Bella.”

“Then fuck it,” I say as anticipation grows to torturous levels.

“Open your legs wider… lift your knees up a bit.”

I do as he says.

“Now say it again. Tell me what you want.”

“Fuck me, Nic.”

“Yes!” He thrusts hard, and my breath catches as a pinch of pain and pressure fills me from the inside out. “Oh, fuck…” He groans as he levers above me. “So tight…”

For a moment, we simply lie still. My body adjusts around him.

“Take a breath, Bella.” His voice is tight.

I inhale and exhale, feeling my body relax around him. His hand slides between us, his finger rubbing over my clit. My hips buck up in response as pleasure starts to build.

“That’s right, Bella. Your body knows what to do.”

“More… I need more…”

He withdraws and slides in, slow and sure. My body is on fire, need coiling tight around him.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes.” I arch, my hands gripping his back. “More,” I demand again.

He moves in long, slow strokes, in and out, in and out. “Fuck… Bella.” In the next breath, he slams in, his movements quick and frenetic. “I’m going to come…”

I’m gripping onto him like my world is about to shatter. Pressure builds. I hit the limit. A long, feral moan escapes my lips as pleasure blasts through my body, radiating out until I feel it in every cell of my body.

“Yes! Fuck! Come on my cock, Bella.” He’s pistoning in and out until he finally gives a hard thrust and grinds against me. He does it again, and again, until finally, he collapses on me.

I continue to hold on to him as my lungs try to draw in breath. I pulse around him still, even as the rest of me is completely boneless.

He lifts his head and looks down on me. “You alright?”

That annoys me. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He must decide that’s a good response as he says, “No reason. Not after that orgasm you just had.”

“What about you?” I ask. “Didn’t I just give you one too?”

He dips his head and sucks on my nipple again. “Couldn’t you tell?”

“Yes. I rocked your world, Nic. I know I did.” Actually, I’m not sure. Nic’s had tons of women. Women who know what to do. Maybe it wasn’t as good as with them, but it couldn’t have been bad, right?

“Consider me rocked.” He’s got a smirk on his face as he pulls back, reaching between us. His brow furrows. “Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?”

His fingers seem to be doing something around his penis, still partly inside me.

“Nothing. It’s okay.” He finally moves back, taking the condom off and tying it. “Let me dispose of this.”

I nod, feeling a little bit let down that he’s leaving me. Shouldn’t there be snuggling in the afterglow? I remind myself that this is just sex.

I dress and then wrap myself in one of the blankets and organize the others to keep us warm through the night.

When he returns, I admire his naked body one last time as he dresses. “I’m starving. How about you?”

I nod and put together our meager meal. I’m not regretting this. I don’t wish I’d waited, after all. But I’m fighting the disappointment that this moment isn’t more romantic.

I wake slowly, consciousness seeping in like warm honey. Nic's body curls around mine, his arm draped over my waist, breath steady against my neck. The blankets cocoon us on the living room floor where we fell asleep in front of the fireplace.

Through heavy-lidded eyes, I watch the dying embers glow orange and red. The fire still burns low, which means Nic must have gotten up during the night to add more logs. The thought of his tending to the fire while I slept makes my chest tight with emotion. Maybe this isn’t romantic, but he is looking out for me. No one has ever watched over me like this before.

The early morning light filters weakly through the windows. I nestle deeper into Nic's warmth, savoring this peaceful moment. Here, wrapped in his arms, I feel completely safe for the first time in my life. Not the false security of my father's protection or the imagined safety I'd hoped to find with Don Nardone in New York. This is different. It feels real and solid and true.

But I know it’s a mirage. Or maybe it’s just this moment. When we return to real life, I know I’ll have to face danger with Nic. I believe he’ll do what he can to keep me safe, but I also know there’s no guarantee that he’ll succeed.

Nic shifts slightly in his sleep, pulling me closer. His face is buried in my hair, his legs tangled with mine. The steady rise and fall of his chest against my back matches the quiet crackling of the remaining embers.

"You okay?" His voice is soft.

Heat rushes to my cheeks as memories of last night flood back. His hands, his mouth, the way he felt moving inside me.

"I'm a little sore.” A shy smile tugs at my lips. "But in a good way."

His fingers trail along my arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. "You sure?"

I turn in his arms to face him, taking in the concern in his dark eyes. It's strange seeing this softer side of him.

"Yes, I'm sure. Last night was…" I bite my lip, searching for the right words. "Perfect."

"Perfect?" His eyebrow quirks up, a hint of his usual cockiness returning. "That's a high bar to set."

I laugh softly, pressing my face against his chest to hide my blush. "Well, I don't exactly have anything to compare it to."

His hand comes up to stroke my hair. "Are you having regrets?"

"No." I lift my head to meet his gaze. "No regrets." I want to ask him if he has regrets, but I don’t want to know.

“Good.” He glances at the fire. “We’ll need to let the fire go out. Smoke from the chimney could give us away if anyone's looking."

I prop myself up on my elbow, watching as he sits up. The loss of his warmth hits me immediately. I wonder if I can lure him back. Maybe we could have sex again.

"You think someone will find us here?”

"Can't risk it." He stands and stretches. "If people in the area know the owners aren’t supposed to be here, the smoke could make them suspicious.”

Nic moves to the fireplace, using the poker to spread out the remaining embers. I watch him work, my chest tight with conflicting emotions. Part of me wants to stay here forever, wrapped in this cocoon we've created. But I know we can't. I’m silly to wish for it.

I rise and stretch too. I go to the curtains, peeking through. The storm has passed. Outside, there’s a blanket of snow, but the sky is bright and blue, no clouds in sight. It’s a beautiful, yet bittersweet, sight. Our sanctuary will soon come to an end.

"We need to dig out the car," Nic says, pulling on his shoes. "Check how bad the driveway is."

I pull my thoughts out of the nonexistent clouds and focus.

"Here." Nic hands me the puffy coat we found in the closet. "Bundle up. It'll be freezing out there."

I slip my arms through the oversized sleeves, breathing in the musty fabric smell. "Do you think the roads will be cleared yet?"

"Main roads probably are. But this private drive…" He peers through the curtain. "That's what we need to check."

I follow him to the back door, steeling myself for the blast of cold air. The snow sparkles blindingly white in the morning sun. It must be at least two feet deep.

"I'll start on the car," Nic says, grabbing a snow shovel off the back deck and wading through the snow. "You check how far down the driveway goes before it meets the road."

I trudge through the deep snow, each step requiring effort. The physical work helps distract me from the mix of feelings, an ache because I don’t want to leave this place and fear of what we’ll find when we do leave.

The driveway isn’t that long, but the car is parked in the back. We’ll have our work cut out for us in clearing a path to the road.

By the time I return, Nic has dug around most of the car. He looks at me, and I must look frozen.

“Why don’t you see if there’s anything to eat for breakfast?”

“Why don’t you, and I’ll dig us out? I’m not inept.”

He arches a brow. “You think I’m being sexist?”

“Aren’t you?”

He shrugs. “If being chivalrous is sexist, I suppose I am.”

The phone I lent Nic buzzes. He checks it and starts to turn away to take it.

Fine. I’m hungry, anyway. I trudge back into the house, leaving Nic to take his call.

I head to the kitchen to assess our dwindling supplies. The cabinets hold only a few cans of soup, some crackers, and half a jar of peanut butter. But I don’t want cold soup, so it’s probably peanut butter for breakfast.

Just then, the lights flicker on. “Hallelujah,” I say, turning on the stove burner and grabbing a pot for soup.

By the time Nic enters, I’m ladling soup into the bowls.

I turn to let him know breakfast is ready, but then I see his face, dark with tension. “What’s wrong?”

“They found our driver. They’ve connected him with me. It appears I may have kidnapped you, as well.”

“I can just tell them what happened.”

He looks at me like I’m na?ve. I hate it even though he’s probably right.

“Our world doesn’t work like that, Bambina.” He’s back to calling me baby, proving my thought right.

“They found the car at the airport and they’re looking for this one.” His thumb jerks out to the car parked in back.

I try not to let nerves get to me. While my father kept us girls away from the ugly details of his business, we all know what goes on. Still, it’s a new feeling to be a fugitive from the law.

"But we switched the license plates.”

Nic shakes his head, his jaw tight. "Switching plates only works until someone reports their plates stolen.”

“So, what do we do?”

“We leave. Now.” Nic's eyes meet mine. They’re fierce. Deadly serious. He’s back into Mafia mode.

“But they won’t know to look here. We’re in another state?—”

“They may talk to your friends and put together that one of them owns this cabin.”

"You're being paranoid." The words come out sharper than I intend, fear making my voice brittle. "We're in the middle of nowhere."

"That paranoia has kept me alive." Nic steps closer, his presence both comforting and overwhelming. "The minute we get comfortable, let our guard down, that's when the shit hits the fan. You know that. That’s what has put us here.”

"You really think they'll find us here?" I whisper.

"I think we can't risk assuming they won't." His thumb strokes my shoulder gently, at odds with his harsh words. "The police, your father's men, my father's men, they're all looking for us. And they're good at what they do."

He’s right.

“Besides, I need to get back and take care of all this.” Anger stirs in his eyes, and I know it’s for his father.

“Do we have time to eat?”

He shakes his head. “We’ll pick up something on the road. Go get packed.”

My stomach twists into knots. Every window seems like an opportunity for someone to spot us. Every creak of the cabin makes me jump. I hurriedly stuff clothes into my suitcase.

"Just essentials," Nic calls from the other room. I hear him moving quickly, methodically, a man who's done this before. “I found a blower. The fucking place doesn’t have a generator but it has a snow blower.”

When I’m packed, I go through the house, cleaning up our mess. I fold and put away the blankets. Put the cards and games away. Wash and put away the dishes. It occurs to me that I should try to wipe any trace of our being here. While I can’t be sure neither of us has lost a strand of hair, I can wipe down surfaces of fingerprints.

"Time to go,” Nic says from the back doorway, making me jump. “Hurry.”

I grab my suitcase. He takes it from me, tossing it in the backseat of the car. I get into the passenger seat.

Nic puts the car in gear and pulls out, tension radiating off him in waves.

“Is everything okay?”

Nic’s jaw clenches. “A cop just drove by.”