21. Shira

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Shira

We walk back to our room—a cabin, really, standing alone down a short, paved walkway studded with motion-activated lamps. They blink on as we pass them, then flicker off, like we're being carried along in a bubble of light amid the darkness.

I only had a few sips of bourbon, but I feel drunk: the kind of drunk you can only be on a warm winter evening when the world should be cold and isn't. Blake and Felix are laughing—their voices ring out over the faint buzz of insects.

"What's that?" Blake points to something blinking above us in the night sky. "Another satellite?"

"Blake," Felix says, voice serious, "that's an airplane."

Blake cracks up at that, sudden, a laugh like something's shaken loose within him. "Well, that's two things I'm bad at, I guess."

Which sets Felix off laughing as well. "C'mon"—he reaches for both of our hands—"let's go inside."

Inside, the cabin is?—

Something . Two bedrooms, a small kitchenette. All of which blur when Blake scoops me up and carries me through the doorway.

"Still practicing?" I ask.

"No." He kisses my hair. "This time we're doing this for real."

Before, I doubted that he could mean it. I told myself that someone like him couldn't be serious about someone like me, so I held myself away from him, just in case.

Now, I press my ear to his chest, the steady tick of his heart like a countdown clock. Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'll forget this ever happened. As if we could. Maybe in a different universe, we could all be together—one where Blake and Felix stay on the same team in the same city, where Blake knows about our past and doesn't care. It feels impossible to even dream about. But we have tonight. Somehow that has to be enough. "We're still pretty much in Fayetteville, right—like in the south south suburbs?"

Blake laughs. "We're almost three hours away."

"Close enough."

Earlier, we claimed the larger of the two bedrooms. We migrate there now, Blake depositing me on the bed, Felix activating a lamp. A wide uncurtained set of glass doors sits at the opposite end of the room; we reflect in it, like slightly otherworldly versions of ourselves, softened at the edges.

Blake drops on the bed next to me, his hand at my waist.

I pull away, press a reassuring kiss to his cheek. "Give me just a second." Then I retreat to the en suite bathroom to rinse my breath with a capful of mouthwash, apply a fresh coat of lipstick. I get a flash of doing the same thing back in June, when I was Melody and Felix was John . When my heart beat to see him and I told myself it was all business.

I strip, shimmying out of my dress, leaving it to puddle on the floor. It's a Tuesday, I realize, and laugh, and adjust my breasts in the wine-red lace of my bra.

When I emerge, Felix's eyes widen. "That's some lingerie set." So he remembers…

"What?" I give a slow twirl. "This ol' thing?"

He laughs and sits at the edge of the bed. An invitation. A reminder of the last time we did this, under the pulsing lights of that club back room. Now the only noise is our breathing, the hum of the HVAC.

"Hey," Felix says, "c'mere."

I do, slow, until I'm standing in the open vee of his legs, the heat of his gaze warming my skin. He traces a hand down my arm—no place particularly sexy, but someplace he might not have touched when I danced.

"I was thinking," Felix says, "that your man might like a show."

It takes a second to sink in. A show . Something for an audience. Slowly, I smile. Turn to Blake. "Would you like that—seeing us together?" And my voice doesn't trip on together even if my heart does.

It isn't that warm in here, but Blake's hair is un-pomaded, his smile similarly easy. "Yeah, I think I really would." A chair sits to one side of the bed as if it was put there for just this purpose. Blake seats himself in it, legs wide, shirt collar unbuttoned. "Show me how it's done."

So I plant my knees on either side of Felix's legs and lower myself onto his lap. I haven't done this since that fateful day in June, but it's not something you really forget. I start slow, rolling my hips, barely brushing him.

Felix's hands find their way to my waist. His stubble scrapes my neck, an approximation of a kiss. At the club I might have leaned away to maintain the illusion of distance. Now I moan. "Do that again."

He mumbles into my shoulder. "Fuck, M— Shira."

A slip. I can't tell if Blake noticed, but it can't happen—not here, not when we're so close to escaping from all this unscathed. I glare a reminder at Felix.

"What's Shira mean?" he asks. "Like as a name?"

"Is that really what you want to ask right now?" I laugh. "And it means song ."

" Song ." He says the word like he's chewing on it, like he's now realizing Melody came from my need for a silly pun. To be a me who wasn't exactly me but wasn't exactly not me. "It suits you." Then he tilts my chin to meet his. "I want to kiss you."

Across from us, Blake sits up slightly, not like he's objecting but in order to better watch.

Kiss me . What I ordered Felix to do in June before I pushed him away. What would the world have been like if I'd said yes? The club in Worcester is only an hour's drive from Boston. Distances always seem small until you have to travel them.

Maybe he's thinking about the same thing because he pulls me to him. I go. For a brief second, I worry we won't fit together how we used to—that in the time apart we grew out of each other's shapes. Until I settle against the solid wall of his chest, held in the strength of his arms.

And if Felix's and my first kiss was a spark, this one is an ember, something slow smoldering.

We kiss, and kiss again, and kiss again, deeper, tongues sliding together, mouths parting only to reunite.

A groan works its way up his throat, like he missed this the way I did. Like he spent the past eight months thinking about it too.

When we pull back from each other, panting, Blake's eyebrows are raised. "That was…" he begins, and fuck , he has to suspect something. "You look amazing together."

The pounding in my chest—equal parts nerves and guilt—settles. Felix's cheeks heat faintly, maybe at the praise, maybe because, like me, he's worried we're about to be caught lying to Blake. "Um." Felix's voice is hoarse. "Thank you."

"Don't stop on my account." Blake runs his fingers over the front of his pants, then pulls back like he's trying not to touch himself. As if he's still laboring under the idea he shouldn't.

I slink off Felix's lap. Make my way to the chair where Blake's sitting. Ease myself onto his lap. He's hard like he was at the restaurant. By now he must be absolutely aching. I reach down and grasp him through his pants. "That for us?"

Blake blinks at me a few times, then nods, slow, an admission. He doesn't say anything. Words seem just beyond him. Something clenches in my chest, fierce and protective.

"Hey," I whisper, "you can stop if it's too much."

He shakes his head. "You're never too much."

I snort at that. "Nearly everyone who's ever met me disagrees." Except him. Except Felix. How're we supposed to go back to our normal lives and pretend this didn't happen?

"Don't know if you noticed," Blake says, "but the world's full of fools." He kisses me, his arms winding around me, his hips rolling with certain urgency that makes me grind against him.

"My belt's digging into me," he says, when we pull back from each other. "Can't imagine it feels too good for you either."

"Are you asking if you both should take off your pants?"

Blake's laugh lights his eyes. "Maybe."

"Well, both of you should maybe do that," I command.

Blake doesn't need to be told twice—after I'm off his lap, I watch from the bed as he undresses with a specific kind of efficiency that must come from a lifetime spent hustling out of locker rooms to meet a team bus. He folds his slacks, hangs his shirt on the back of a desk chair.

Felix moves slower, shucking his pants, stripping down his socks, peeling off his shirt. Until he's in dark green boxers, the rise of his stomach dipping slightly over the waistband. In his clothes, he's big. Out of them, he's big , and I want to see exactly what that strength—both of their strengths—can do.

Fate granted us an extra day together. I was tempted to call it bad luck, but now I think it's the opposite. If we're going to be together—if this is the only time we'll get together—we should be together .

"I have an IUD," I blurt.

Felix makes a noise—surprise? Right, even if Felix knows Blake and I haven't slept together, we probably should've talked about this before.

I crane my head up to look at him. "Blake's a goddamn gentleman, okay?"

That gets Felix's laugh and Blake's too.

"I was waiting for the right moment to ask," Blake says.

"Is this the right moment?" I ask.

He kisses the end of my nose, then my cheek, then finally my lips, his hands in my hair; he settles on the bed with his body slotted against mine. "I don't know if I've ever had a better one."

He's right. This is perfect. Or would be except…

Felix is still standing, looking at us as if he's uncertain. I circle his wrist, gently pull him down. "Come help Blake finish what he started at dinner."

Felix sinks down next to me, mattress groaning with our combined weight. His arms wrap around me…and then he extends one further to reach Blake. Until we're together, caught up, three bodies in inescapable orbit. I kiss Blake again, grind back against Felix, kiss Felix, wind my thigh around Blake's.

For a second, I don't kiss either of them, and they study each other, a breath's distance apart. You could… That's not my permission to grant, not really. But when Blake's eyes find mine, I give him a fraction of a nod.

Blake's tongue dabs his lower lip. He breathes as if he's gathering courage. "You want to get her ready for us, sweetheart?" And his face goes hot as soon as he says it, but he makes no move to deny it—that he just called Felix that.

"What happened to sir ?" Felix teases.

Blake's laugh comes easy. "I could call you that too. And you didn't answer the question."

"You want me to get Shira all wet for you?"

The tips of Blake's ears go pink. "Not just for me. If you want. And she wants." Like he's been dreaming about this the way I have.

I rub my thighs together where I'm already slick with anticipation. "You did a pretty good job of that before."

At that, Felix grabs me by my waist, pulls me to the edge of the bed, kneels between my spread legs. He runs his thumbs up my inner thighs. "Hmm."

"You don't think I'm wet?" I tease.

"I don't think you're dripping ." He pushes my knees apart, presses a kiss to the muscle of my thigh, his stubble a rasp. Something I'll feel tomorrow when we go back to being just friends .

It's dim in here, but the bedside lamp provides enough illumination to cast us all in relief. Different from the dizzying lights of the club: how everyone looks good when you're drunk and covered in glitter in the dark. Suddenly, I'm aware of the stretch marks lining my inner thighs.

Felix strokes a faintly silvery mark, the place where my skin unzippered slowly as my body adjusted to a different kind of dance.

"Sorry," I say.

He frowns. "Why are you apologizing?"

For not being the fantasy girl you spent the last year dreaming of, the one who doesn't exist when the lights turn back on . I can't bring myself to say it.

He kisses me—at the marks lining my thigh, the soft interior of my knee. Along my ankle with its still-shining scar tissue, where a surgeon put me back together after my world fell apart. "Don't apologize," he says, "when every part of you is perfect."

Not the selfish part that's still lying to Blake . A lie that hangs thick in the room. "Everyone has flaws," I say.

Felix laughs lightly. "Sure, mine is how much we're talking when I could be doing something better." He takes my hand, examines my nails. They're gel acrylics painted a tasteful pink, far demurer than what I used to wear. "Too bad your nails are so short," he says. "I was looking forward to you digging them into my back."

"I'll have to get them redone in—" Florida . But I cut myself off. By the time we get to Florida, Felix might be playing for an entirely different team. This is for tonight. Only tonight. Anything more than that is a dream. The three of us together—I don't know how that would even work. I learned a long time ago that the problem with dreams is that you wake up. So I press the edge of a nail into Felix's shoulder. "I'll do my best to leave a few souvenirs."

He turns to Blake, who's watching, eyes bright. He strokes his cock idly through the gray fabric of his boxer briefs. "You mind me walking around covered in your girl's scratch marks?" Felix asks.

Not just his girl. Though I can't say that. Our, our, our . A word that hums in time with my pulse. "C'mon." I skim my nails down Felix's shoulders, hard enough that a second later, his skin comes up in pink lines. Something that'll fade soon, but for now, it's enough.

Felix returns his attention to my body. He pushes down the waistband of my panties, kisses a faint puckered mark there, then repeats the process around my waist, up the interior of my thighs. Time stretches as he makes his way around, until my legs are shaking, until I dig my nails harder into his shoulders, leaving half-moons.

He smiles up at me, smug. "You want something?"

You. Both of you . "Put your mouth on me."

"I was." Another grin. "Here I thought you were direct ."

Nearby, Blake makes a noise—an inhaled bite of air. Oh, this isn't for me, entirely. Or if it is, it's also for him. To know what it's like to say everything you want out loud. To know what it's like to trust a partner to tell you what they want.

"That's how it is, Felix?" I laugh. "And here I thought you liked to eat ."

That gets Felix's growl. He pushes my panties down my thighs, parts me with his thumbs, displaying my pussy to the warm cabin air. Draws a finger through my slick. "She's so wet."

He extends his forefinger, taps the tip of it right at Blake's lips. For a second neither goes further than that.

Then slowly Blake opens his mouth. Darts his tongue. Tastes me off Felix's skin. "Hmm…seems like you got some work to do."

Felix laughs, that boom of laughter that vibrates against my thighs. "Fine, fine, but you gotta return the favor."

"You gonna spend the whole night passing me between you?" I ask. Even as my body lights up with the possibility.

Felix shakes his head. "We're gonna spend the whole night making sure you're squirming in the front seat of that car tomorrow." Then he reapplies himself to my pussy. He kisses me, brief, fast, flicks his tongue over my clit. A tease that leaves wanting.

I dig my nails into his shoulders, hard, drawing a grunt. A that's it . Before he tongues me unsatisfyingly again. It's different from last night, from Blake's hesitation, his uncertainty. This is a tease that knows it's a tease.

I clench my eyes shut in frustration. "More." I need a hand, a mouth, either of their cocks. Or both of them. A whine forms in my throat.

"You want something else?" Felix chuckles slightly at my frantic nod. "You bring anything to play with in that suitcase of yours?"

It takes a second to register what he means. Did he hear me that night, after Blake went to sleep, fucking myself with a vibrator? When I imagined them both on the other side of the wall, ready to give me whatever I wanted. Heat travels up my spine. "Maybe," I gasp.

"Which pocket is maybe stashed in?"

"The large interior one. It's in a bag."

Felix slides out from between my legs, then lays out my suitcase. The zipper is loud in the quiet of the room.

I don't want to look at Blake in case he's one of those guys who minds . Still, I sneak a glance at him. He's sitting up, intrigued, examining the muscular line of Felix's back. "You okay with this?" I ask him.

Maybe Blake can tell there's another question caught up in that one. He rolls toward me, drops a kiss to my hair. "I like that you can take care of yourself," he says. "But I want to take care of you too."

My heart stutters. I've felt so lucky since I met him: lucky that a man like him would make time for someone like me. Lucky that he's too sweet to suspect anything happened between me and Felix.

Now I feel lucky in a whole different way. Especially when Blake settles himself at my back, supporting me, while Felix resumes kneeling on the floor. From this position, I can see our reflections in the window, the three of us together.

Felix must see me looking because he glances over his shoulder. "You gonna watch yourself come apart?"

As if he knows I spent my time dancing always in control: thinking about how I could get men to look at me, to pay to touch me, to leave the club craving more. Always with that whisper at the back of my mind of what would happen if I failed.

Here I am in the same lingerie set—but things couldn't be more different. They aren't paying for a fantasy. They see me, and for the first time in a long time, that whisper goes silent.

My vibrator is still in its velvety carrying bag. Felix withdraws it. For a second, he looks like he's going to laugh.

"Were you envisioning something else?" I ask.

He holds up the light blue vibrator—it's U-shaped, with a bulge at each end, one of which sits inside me and the other is used for clit stimulation. "Just smaller than I expected."

"Flick it on."

He does. The setting I left it on is powerful enough that it practically jumps out of his hand. "Oh, that's more like it," he says.

"How's that?"

"Small but assertive." He drops a kiss to my thigh. "Now lie back."

I do, settling against Blake. His hands find my ribs, sliding to cup my breasts in my bra, thumb flicking over my nipples. I whine, shift my hips, but I don't have any place to go but against the vibrator that Felix presses to my clit, around the rim of my cunt. Blake sucks two of his fingers in his mouth, then applies them to the rough lace of my bra. It hurts, in a good way, building, as Felix pushes his tongue next to the vibrator, plunging into me until my pussy gives another wet pulse.

I start to whine, then bite back the noise.

"No." Felix looks up from his knees, a shine already forming on his mouth and chin. "Be as loud as you want." And he turns his attention back to me, back to the long strokes of his tongue against my clit, the taps of the vibrator, the feeling gathering at the base of my spine that only tightens when Blake goes from flicking my nipples to massaging them in slow uncompromising circles. When he whispers, "You're being so good for us."

As if I'm theirs, both of theirs.

Felix finally thrusts into my cunt—the thinner end of the vibrator, along with two fingers. I groan at the stretch, unable to hold myself up, and Blake's arms come around me.

"I'm so full," I whine, and Blake kisses my hair.

"Too much?"

"I want more ."

Felix laughs. "Greedy." He strokes a thumb across my clit in time with his thrusts.

For the last month, I've been wary—I didn't want Blake to see me as demanding, grasping. Now, I want what I'm due. "That's right."

"You heard her." Blake's fingers speed against my nipples.

Felix's eyebrows rise. "Didn't realize either of you was in charge." He withdraws his hand, leaving me empty. "In fact, you're not."

"What're you gonna do about that, daddy ?" I tease.

And get the slap of Felix's palm against my pussy, sending a shock of pleasure through me, a quick wave that almost immediately recedes. Along with Blake's gasp, like he didn't know that's a thing people could want.

"Do that again," I order.

Felix does, two more spanks, fingers rough against my clit. I'm wet, dipping in rivulets, desperate. "Still want more ?" he asks.

My yes is a groan in the back of my throat, barely a word.

"Call me that again," Felix says.

"Call you what?"

He spanks me one more time, right against my clit. Pleasure rolls through me, oceans of it. I'm writhing now, not the practiced version that I did at the club, just frantic movements of my hips against Blake's lap. The feeling is almost unbearable. My knees try to clamp shut automatically.

"Hold her open." Felix says it to Blake, who complies, palms on my upper inner thighs, making it so I can't move, not that I want to. Not when Felix is using the vibrator to trace patterns on my clit, when Blake's fingers are firm against my legs like he knows I'm strong enough to take it, when they both take my every demand as a challenge.

"Please." It slides out.

Felix looks up at me, teasing and expectant.

"Please, daddy , make me come."

And he stuffs three fingers into me, stroking, unceasing, until my orgasm bursts inside me like a strobe light, whiting out my vision. I come until I drip down my thighs, until I'm loud enough that it echoes against the tastefully painted walls. Until Blake holds me, and pets my hair, and drops kisses on my face the way Felix is at my knees, and I can't help this ecstatic feeling like I've leapt into the air never to come down.

I do, eventually, gentle as a feather. A laugh forms inside me. "Fuck." The word slips out. Fuck, that was good. Fuck, now that I've had that, how am I supposed to give it up?

Blake is still behind me, holding me up, stroking my hair. His cock is hard, digging into my ass.

I roll back against him. "You gonna give me all of that?"

He drops a kiss to my hair. "Only if you tell me exactly how you want it."

We should take it slow. Romantic. Blake seems like a lit candles and mood music kind of guy. Or maybe seemed that way two days ago. Now, I unclasp my bra, kick off the panties still somehow wrapped around my ankles. Blake sheds his underwear. His eyes go a little wide when Felix does the same, when we're all naked, finally, the kind of naked where clothing feels slightly dishonest.

"You have such a pretty cock," I tell Blake to watch the tips of his ears go red. I turn to Felix. "Doesn't he?"

"He's pretty all over," Felix rumbles, and Blake's flush begins to descend his neck. "I bet he'd look so pretty getting you all wet inside."

Blake groans, something deep, like he's been waiting a long time to hear that. "You both…" He trails off, shaking his head. "How did you think you were keeping me out of trouble?"

Felix taps one of Blake's fingers at its painted nail. "You gonna fuck her like she needs?" Felix asks. "'Cause I'll know if you don't."

Blake nods, eyes bright and eager, then drapes himself over where I'm lying on my back, nothing between us but a slim barrier of air and the weight of Felix's gaze.

"You're so beautiful," Blake says, and I'm about complain about the humidity or my surely smeared lipstick, when he adds, "I'm falling in love with you." He pauses, like he didn't mean to say that. Like the words arrived unbidden in his mouth. "Um. You don't have to say it back."

Love . This thing glowing beneath my sternum. What I haven't let myself feel in a long time. My eyes go wet—tears, sudden enough that Blake strokes the pad of his thumb on my cheekbone.

"I didn't mean to upset you," he says.

"You didn't." Even if my voice comes out hoarse. "I just love you too." And… a caveat I mentally append. I love Blake and…

No time to linger on that now, not when Blake laughs and kisses me, pulling me to him. It's easy to go. Easy to slide against him, his cock nudging my hip. He skims his hands down my body reverently, follows that with his mouth, pausing to lap at the tip of each breast.

"Use your teeth," I groan, and he does, biting my nipples gently. He laughs when I thread my hand through his hair, when I thrust his mouth against me.

It doesn't take much positioning after that. Blake takes himself in hand, holding his cock at my entrance, pushing in slowly, his gaze flicking to my face as if checking for discomfort until he registers how wet I am.

"Shira," he breathes, like he can't get enough of me, then begins to move, slow but steady. Almost, almost enough.

"If you're gonna fuck me, fuck me," I tease.

That gets his laugh, a tickle against my belly. The scoop of his arm under one of my knees, spreading me farther, his cock plunging deeper inside me, sending little flares of pleasure all over. "That better?" He asks it smugly, like he already knows the answer.

"You're a fast learner," I say.

"You gonna tell me when I'm doing good?"

Oh. I scrape my nails up his back, through his hair, raise my hips to meet his, enjoying the slap of our bodies, the way Felix has pulled up beside us.

The trace of his hand up Blake's spine that draws Blake's shiver. "Good boy," Felix murmurs.

That stalls Blake. He blinks a few times in surprise. "Yeah?" Like he hasn't quite processed it.

Felix laughs gently. "You think you aren't?"

Blake shakes his head. "You might have to tell me again."

"Soak her pretty little pussy and I'll tell you as many times as you want." Felix turns to me. "How's that sound, Shira?"

"Sounds like he should probably do what you said."

Blake groans against me. His face is flushed red with pleased embarrassment. He fucks me harder, steady, eyes flicking to mine, watching for every pant, every right there . It's somehow better than if he was perfect: the sun-worn lines by his eyes, the strain in his arms, the way his eyes tighten shut each time Felix strokes a hand up his back. My body pulses in time with his, until we're flying, together.

"I'm gonna." Blake clenches his eyes shut like he's holding back.

"Nope," Felix says. "Give her what she wants."

Blake's eyes flash open. "Yes, sir."

The words fall from his lips, transform into a long moan as he holds himself up with one arm and gets a hand between us, rubbing over my clit. His hips stutter with effort, and I can tell he's close, right on the brink. I add my fingers on top of his, showing him the pace I like, and he nods, once. "You just lie back, I got this."

"Don't stop," I order.

"Now that I'm with you, how am I ever supposed to stop?" He flicks his fingers, moving at the exact right pace that sends pleasure down every nerve, then drops a kiss on my cheek and I don't know which of those does it, but I tip over, coming, clenching around him as he empties himself inside me with a groan.

After, he lies on top of me, panting, before he withdraws his softening cock, careful to support his own weight with his arms. He doesn't get much farther than a few inches from me, hair a sweaty halo around his head. He's smiling bright enough to light the whole room—not the practiced media smile, but something lopsided and wrung out and perfect.

"That good, sweetheart?" he whispers to me.

I can't help but answer his grin. "That was good."

And get the briefest kiss on the tip of my nose before he turns to Felix. "That good enough for you?"

"You're good enough for me," Felix says, like he misunderstood the question.

For a second Blake's eyes widen before he darts a kiss, once, to the rough plain of Felix's cheek. Blake pauses— freezes —then takes several slow breaths like he's purposefully calming himself down.

"Hey, you good?" Felix doesn't ask it his gruff sex voice, just says it carefully, like he knows Blake's heart is in his throat.

After a second, Blake nods. "I think so." He blinks a couple more times. "I've been with a man before. Once. A long time ago. But we didn't kiss." Another few blinks like he's combating memories of that, then turns to me like he's half-expecting me to gather my clothes and storm out.

"You should," I say. "If you want to. If Felix wants to."

Blake nods but doesn't move.

After a second, Felix's arms wrap around him just as I do the same. We hold him between us until some of the tension unknots from his back. "Is it a problem if I kiss you?" Felix asks.

"No." Blake shakes his head. "Not a problem."

They kiss, soft, Felix's palm cupping Blake's cheek, a kiss that Blake sighs into as if something clicked just right into place.

When they pull back from each other, Blake touches a brief hand to his lips like he can't believe what's happening. Then his face lights in a smile. He reaches, pulling Felix on top of him. "Kiss me again."

Felix does, longer this time, a kiss that's a full-bodied thing, Blake's hands firm on his back, his fingers digging into the muscle of Felix's shoulders. Felix rolls his hips, his ass flexing, and Blake's groan echoes in the quiet of the room. "Oh god, oh fuck." Like he's been dreaming about this. Then, quieter, "you're hard."

That draws Felix's laugh. "Yeah." He rolls his hips again for emphasis.

"I could…" Blake trails off like he's overwhelmed by possibilities. "Well, I could do something."

Felix kisses him again. "There's no rush."

"I've been waiting years ." Blake's voice catches in his throat, then he blinks a few times, as if he's remembering where he is and that I'm still here watching them. "Uh, Shira, hi."

"That good?" I prompt.

Blake's face goes serious. "I think I should probably tell you something else. I don't think I'm straight."

I don't want to laugh in case he gets the wrong impression, so I kiss him once on his cheekbone. "Yeah, babe, I picked up on that."

"Oh." As if he didn't know I knew. "And that's fine?"

"I love you. All of you."

He swallows, visibly, then nods. "I love you too."

"You sure you're okay?" I ask.

"This is very much not how I thought this trip was gonna go."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"It's a great thing."

I'm about to kiss him again when Felix intercedes, gathering me up. "We're not done," he growls, like it's a promise.

I throw a teasing glance at him. "No?"

"Not when you're still forming complete sentences."

"How're you planning to fix that?"

He positions himself flat on the bed, encourages me over him until my thighs are on either side of his neck. "Ride my face until your legs give out."

"I'm pretty strong," I laugh.

"Yeah," he says, "that's what I meant."

"I'm still—" I slide a hand down my body to indicate where Blake's come is dripping down my legs. " Wet ."

Felix huffs a laugh. "Yeah, that's also what I meant." His cock is still hard, red at the tip, shiny with pre-come.

"What about you?" I ask. "You must want something else."

"As long as I'm with you both, I don't really care what we do." Said almost as if it's a joke, if not for the sincere look in his eyes. "But if you're offering…" He turns to Blake. "You want to get this wet for me, baby?" He holds out his palm, cupped slightly.

Blake examines his hand. Brings his own up to cradle it. Licks his lips a few times like he's considering spitting into Felix's palm. Then his eyelids slide shut, his lashes dark lines on his cheeks. He touches his tongue to Felix's hand, slow, thorough, a kiss that isn't pretending it's anything else, then pulls back. "That work for you?"

For that, he gets the plunge of Felix's thumb in his mouth, on the moistened curve of his lower lip that Blake moans around. "That works for me," Felix says, then takes his cock in hand. "Shira, you satisfied?"

"Not yet." But I lower myself until my pussy rests against his mouth and chin. Then I begin to move.

Felix said to ride him until my legs gave out—but they're already half-rubber. I brace myself on the headboard for leverage, roll my hips, listen to the music of our collective breathing, the steady beat of my heart.

Felix's hand is slick on his own cock—inescapable noises loud in the otherwise quiet room. His eyes don't leave mine as he jerks himself, as I rock against his tongue.

He groans, and I crane my neck back to see if he came, only to find Blake tucked at his side, his fist wrapped around Felix's as they work him together. It could be like this… A thought that implants itself in my mind like a seed. We could have this, somehow. We could fight for it.

I must have paused too long, because Felix's hand comes up, a spread of his fingers on my lower back.

"You want something?" I tease.

He smiles, lifts me up just enough to say, "You. Both of you," then pushes me back down onto his mouth. There's no hesitation this time, no holding back, just the flat of his tongue and the slight bump of his nose and the bright build of pleasure inside me.

Soon, too soon, Felix grunts, once, sharp. "I'm close." Like he might come into his and Blake's combined fists.

I want to see that—want to be part of it. I slide myself down his body until his cock is at my entrance. Blake moves his hand, reflexively, hovering it as if he's unsure what to do. Until Felix grabs it.

"You want to give Shira everything?" he asks, and Blake nods.

"So help me do that." And he spits once into Blake's palm, then puts it against his balls. "Wring me out."

I crane my head back to watch: Blake, a deep red, testing out various movements with his fingers, listening for Felix's groan.

"That all for me?" I ask Felix.

"Yes." As simple as that, and he pushes into me, filling me up. "Fuck, she's so wet inside."

"Yeah?" Blake must give another squeeze of his hand because Felix pants like he's about to lose it.

"I can feel you both," Felix says. "It's like I'm fucking you both."

My pussy throbs around him. An ache forms in the back of my throat that matches the one in my chest—that this is the first and last time we'll ever do this. A few seconds or possibly a few hours later, Felix's fingers tighten on my hips, and he comes, long and throbbing, pouring himself into me with everything he has to give.

I follow quickly after, my orgasm echoing through me as I gasp and pant and call their names, head tilted back to the ceiling like I'm yelling to distant stars.

I slump off Felix, limbs heavy, body suffused with pleasure, to where Blake's lying beside us. He wraps me up in his arms —for a second, I worry he'll go possessive—until he extends his grasp to Felix. Until we're lying together, floating.

I heave a yawn, something loud and unladylike. "I should get cleaned up," I say and don't move.

Felix laughs, then hauls himself up. Water runs in the en suite bathroom before he returns with two damp washcloths, one of which he hands to me and the other to Blake.

"You don't have to…" Blake says but stops when Felix ducks and kisses his forehead.

"I know," Felix says simply and waits, then takes the cloths back and chucks them both into the sink before returning.

This bed is a tighter fit than the one yesterday. It doesn't matter when Felix lies down, when I snuggle into the breadth of his chest. When Blake joins us, fitted against my other side, palm on Felix's hip like he doesn't want either of us to move.

Not that I could. Tiredness covers me like a blanket. I give another yawn. "What time do we have to get up?"

"Brayden's coming around nine tomorrow," Blake says. "Supposedly."

Tomorrow . A time that doesn't exist, not in this bubble. So I close my eyes and drift to sleep, held safe in this little piece of the universe that begins and ends with us.