Chapter 17

Jake

"What do you mean I own it?" Jenica asks, searching my eyes for an answer she won't find because the truth of who I am I've kept from everyone, including my best friend.

I know how to hide it. At least I did. These weeks without her have challenged that. Actually, the moment I first laid eyes on her, Jenica ignited the spark to a part of me I didn't think another person could. Only, I didn't realize it then.

Those first weeks of last summer everything was easy. Her sexy snark, and witty banter intrigued me, and I found myself shamelessly flirting in a way I never had before. Then all that shit went down and things got serious. I didn't just want to keep her safe out of obligation to my friend and his girl, but to her .

The fiery girl with the acerbic wit and fierce intelligence made me feel things I'd never felt before and ignited that part of me I thought no one could. Jenica challenged my easy going nature and without even knowing it had happened, I fell for her, hard. I wanted to keep her safe and anything, anyone , that had the potential to harm her was my enemy.

Now that I know all the ways we're connected, I can't keep that part of me a secret any longer because she is mine. I know it. And I won't let anything stand in the way. There's no putting away those emotions she bring out in me, and I don't want to. She is both lock and key to my Pandora's box which is why she has to know the truth.

I'm not surprised she kept the fact she used to play ball a secret. Her future was irrevocably changed due to an injury, and I cannot imagine how that felt to not just lose softball, but her dreams of going to college. But as hard as keeping it a secret from me must have been, sharing her truth with me must have been harder.

That's why I'm going to do the same. Just as she laid her heart bare, I will share my truth with her. One that has shaped every aspect of how I lived my life, including not going after the girl in front of me, the way that I wanted.

"Jake…" She brings both hands to my face. "Talk to me."

I look up, and take a deep breath, her touch giving me strength. "My dad, Dale, is not my birth father." Gripping her hips, I hold on for dear life as I plunge into my truth. "He is my father in every sense of the word, but the guy whose DNA I possess was a horrible person. No," I shake my head, "scratch that. He was a piece of shit. He used to hit my mom and abused her mentally."

Jenica sucks in her breath but doesn't say anything. What can she say? What can anyone say who's heard what I just confessed?

Instead, she drops one hand to my chest, and keeps the other on my neck. "Dale knew my birth father," I swallow. "They were on the force together. Apparently he was a real hot head. Always getting in trouble for excessive use of force and shit like that. He was also super controlling with my mom. Didn't like anyone looking at her and was always accusing her of cheating." I blow out a tense breath and look down. "The man who raised me is nothing like that. He worships my mom and taught me everything I know about manners and respect."

Jenica squeezes my neck gently, and I look up. "He did a good job because you are one in a million, Hot Shot."

"He's the best," I nod, warming with both her affection, and that I have for the man who raised me. "Dale Chambers is a saint. He saved my mom and sister, and well I guess you can say he saved me, too."

My jaw tenses, and feeling it, Jenica's fingers twist the hair at the nape of my neck, as her thumb strokes the underside of my jaw. "Go on," she encourages.

"When my mom was pregnant with me," I continue with cautious, measured cadence, "my birth father beat her so badly she wound up in the hospital. She almost lost me, but the doctors said I was strong and I pulled through." I pause and take a breath, the events of what happened before I was born, heavy, even now. "Dale is the one my mom called when it happened. He came right over and picked up my sister in one arm and helped my mom into his patrol car with the other, then rushed her to the hospital."

"Your sister?" Jenica's eyes well up. "She saw what happened?"

"She did," I confirm, hating my answer. "But she was only two years old at the time and doesn't remember. Thankfully, neither she nor my momever saw him again. As soon as my mom was released from the hospital, my dad arranged for a transfer and moved us out of the area and they haven't been back since."

"Have you ever met him?" Jenica's eyes search mine.

"No," I shake my head. "He doesn't know I survived. Chambers is on my birth certificate. My mom and birth father were never married, but by the time I was born, she and Dale were. He married her so she would have access to his health benefits for me and have a safe place to live. What started as a friendship turned into love. One you would never know began from a place of trauma."

There is no need to unpack what I've just said. I know Jenica understands the double meaning in my words. I can see it in her eyes.

I sit up and wrap my arms around her, laying my head against her chest. She holds me tight and I feel her heartbeat, gentle and strong. "That's why I'm so protective of my sister, and why I understand the loyalty you have for your brother."

I stop talking for a moment, the gentle thumping of her heart and cricket's night symphony wafting in through the crack in her bedroom window, lulling me into a state of calm.

"I had one hell of a role model growing up." I pull back and look up finding her blue eyes warm and full of compassion. "He helped me become the guy that I am and the man I want to be. But my birth father…he is a part of me, too."

"No." She shakes her head fervently. "You are good, Jake. That man, if you can even call him that, was evil."

"He was," I agree. "But a part of him is in me, Sparky. I know because I've seen it."

I sit back and she drops her hands to my waist. "What happened?"

"When I was six, I struck out on my first at bat in little league. I was so angry that I threw the bat and it hit my teammate. I will never forget the look on my mom's face when it happened. I didn't know the specifics around my birth father then, but I knew violence was not tolerated in our house. So when I did finally learn about him and remembered back to that day, I knew the look on her face wasn't one of anger but fear. She was scared because she thought I may have inherited that part of my birth father. The one who couldn't keep his cool and lashed out when angry."

"You threw a bat when you were a kid," Jenica shakes her head. "I've done it. Every player in the history of baseball has done it at least once. Doesn't mean anything."

"It doesn't," I agree. "But how about putting a guy in a coma?"

"Is that what happened to that kid?" Her eyes search mine.

"No," I shake my head. "It happened in high school. There was this guy my sister was dating, Gerry Lachance."

"Like the kid in Stand By Me ?" She arches her brow.

"That was Gordie," I correct with a smile. We watched that movie together once. She loved it, and I did too. "This guy, Gerry, was the high school quarterback. Popular and a total dick. I used to hear my sister fighting with him on the phone at night and see them arguing at school."

I pause to take a breath, the weight of what happened in high school, far greater than throwing a bat when I was six.

"One night," I continue, "a bunch of kids from school were partying at that quarry I told you about last summer, and my sister and Gerry were there. He started saying all this shit about how he knew she was cheating on him and that she wasn't worth it. I overhead and went over to tell him to back off. I was a big kid as a freshman and had no fear, so when he pushed me I pushed him back. Then, he took a swing at me, and I swung back. Only, I didn't stop. I punched him again and again, until he fell and when he did, he hit his head on a rock."

Jenica gasps, bringing both hands to her mouth. "What happened after that?"

"One of the kids at the party ran to the pay phone down the road and called 911 and by the time the ambulance arrived, I was already home. My sister had one of her friends drive me, and when they questioned everyone that had been at the party they all had the same story—Gerry picked a fight with me and when he fell to the ground, hit his head on a rock. Of course, when he woke up a week later, he had a different story for the cops and wanted to press charges. But my dad said there were no charges to be filed. Showed his parents the eyewitness statements that concluded their son had started the fight and that it was an accident."

"He's right," Jenica says matter of fact. "It was."

"That's the thing." I look down, afraid to say out loud what I'd thought all these years. "I don't think it was. That night when I hit Gerry, I felt this deep-seated anger that I'd never felt before."

"It's your sister," she nods with understanding. "You were trying to protect her."

I reach out and tuck an errant strand of hair behind Jenica's ear, loving her faith in me, but hating what I'm about to say.

"I was trying to protect her. She's my sister, and I would beat any guy's ass who ever lay a hand on her. But you, Sparky. You I would do anything for. Absolutely anything. The idea of anyone hurting you, the idea of you being in danger, it makes me want to tear the world apart, and that's dangerous because I've seen what happens when I feel that way."

Focusing on school and baseball had always kept me in line. That's why I had the best grades on the team and was a star athlete. But it was also why I was the guy all the girls wanted.

I was always into girls. Got my first hard-on when I was twelve and had sex for the first time when I was fourteen. But I never felt anything beyond that rush of arousal because no girl had interested me on a deeper level. When there was no interest, there was no connection and therefore, no emotion. It was a win-win.

But Jenica was different. She drew out every emotion in me, including a need for her that was primal.

"Keeping it easy, breezy for everything in life has been the key to balance for me. When there is no emotion life is easy. But you…" My nerves twitch and my body burns with how badly I want her. "You make me feel everything. The way I feel when I am with you is more powerful than anything I've ever felt. I have never wanted anyone the way I want you, and that scares me."

"But your reputation," her eyes search mine, "all those girls you've been with. You don't feel anything?"

"There is no emotion there," I shrug. "I get off. They get off. But ever since we met, I haven't wanted that. I've only wanted to feel what I feel when I'm with you. I wasn't being dramatic when I said you're the key to the part of me I've hidden for so long. On one side, I have this fierce need to keep you safe, and on the other, I feel so much for you. I want to be yours, and I want the world to know you're mine. I've never felt that before."

She grips my forearms and squeezes."What if that's what I want, too?"

"What?" I question not sure I heard her.

"What if I told you that I want you to do all the things you want to do, and feel all the things you want to, with me?"

"You deserve to be cherished, Sparky." My fingers tingle and my dick twitches thinking of all the ways I've dreamed of being with Jenica. "To have a prince not someone who wants to claim and possess you."

Her eyes dart back and forth, wild and catlike. "What I deserve is the fucking stars. It's the least of what this world owes me. But right now, I want what I want, and that's you."

I swallow deeply, Adam's apple sliding down, then up. "Come again?"

"I want you to break me, Jake. I need you to take the pieces that still carry the truth of that night and ground them to dust. I want these hands," she slides her fingers through mine, "to claim me and own my truths. Do you think you can do that, Hot Shot?"

Before the chaos I wanted her, but after the storm, I fell for her. Under that fierce toughness was a girl that could melt your heart. I know, because she had melted mine and right now, that organ in my chest was molten lava. She'd become my kryptonite and I was hers, in whatever way she wanted.

Reaching around her back, she unhooks her bra, then tosses it behind her, and cups my face. "Have me the way you want," her eyes search mine. "You won't hurt me."

I used to love the rush I'd get when we fooled around, but what I'm feeling right now is on a whole new level. There are no secrets between us. No walls. And that dangerous, all-consuming need I felt the first time we had sex, is coursing through me with the force of a goddamn freight train.

She leans in and kisses me with hungry intent, and I return it hungrily. Wrapping one arm around her waist, I push up from the floor with my other hand push up and turn to lay her on the bed. I want her so much it's painful. To draw from her the kind of pleasure I have never drawn from another and let her do the same to me.

Reaching for the button on her cutoffs, I wriggle them down, then off, dropping them to the floor, then peel her panties down slowly. Fuck, her body is a work of art. She's got the best tits, powerful legs, and an ass you could bounce a quarter off. She's as strong as she is sensual and I can't wait to worship every inch of her.

As I reach for the button of my jeans, she pushes up on her elbows and watches me as I drop them along with my boxers.

"Damn," she eyes me with approval, as my cock springs free.

After stepping out of both, I kick them aside, then place one knee on the bed and run my hand up the inside of her thigh. She drops her head back, letting out a breathy sigh as I bend down and kiss her while my hand cups her pussy.

"Yes," she moans as I rub my palm over her smooth mouth, then glide my finger down her slick slit, and dip it inside her. Her back arches and she sucks in a sharp breath, as I stroke her teasingly, while working my mouth down her body.

When I reach her pussy, I run my tongue through her slick folds while still fingering her and she drops her head back down on the bed and moans. I swirl my tongue around and around, her arousal building, and when I spear her sex, her hips buck and she grabs my head.

With her hand in my hair, she moves her hips up and down, as I devour her wet cunt. "Did you bring anything?" she pants.

Fuck. I stop and look up. "No."

She blows out a charged breath and drops her hand to the bed, gripping the comforter in frustration. "You don't have a condom in your wallet?"

"I had no need for them." I drop my forehead to her stomach and groan. "You aren't on the pill?"

"I am," she drapes an arm over her face. "But it's not about that."

"I'm clean," I look up. "If that's what you're worried about. I've been tested. All the guys on the team have."

"It's not that." She drops her arm and looks down at me. "Maryann Deroche got pregnant when she was on the pill in high school, and Julie at the store is pregnant right now. I don't know if she was on birth control, but I don't want to be another girl in Cherry Cove that gets knocked up young and spends the rest of her life regretting it."

I push up and hover over her, rubbing my dick against her wet pussy. "I don't know who those girls are, but I know I want to fuck you, Sparky. I want to claim you and fill you, but I won't do anything you don't want to do. I can go to the store right now and pick up condoms, or I can pull out, or we can dry fuck until my dick is raw. I don't care. Whatever you want, it's your call."

Her eyes are wide and crazed, her heart pounding like a jackhammer, and when she runs her foot down the back of my leg, I know her answer.

"If you get me pregnant," she warns, "yourballs are mine."

"Sparky," I laugh. "They're yours one way or another."

Working my way down her body again, my mouth finds her pussy once more and I take my time, lapping at her slowly. Licking her from cunt to clit, she moans and writhes, and when I feel the walls of her pussy contract, I know she's seconds way from coming.

"Shit," she grips my head with both hands as I grip her ass with both hands and suckle her clit.

Her panting increases as her hips move up and down, and when her release hits, she digs her nails into my scalp and cries out. "Yes, fuck, just like that. Don't stop."

When the muscles in her thighs slacken, and her hand drops from my head, I push up on my haunches and reach for her thighs. Her eyes look drunk, her body languid and pliable, but when I nudge the head of my cock against her entrance, she arches her back and pushes her tits out. Fuck, this girl is going to be my undoing.

Bending down, I pull one into my mouth and when I sink into her, suck and fuck her the way I've always dreamed. A euphoric haze floods me, and a carnal need takes over. Pushing back up, I grab her hips, pulling her down on my cock. She cries out in approval as I do it again, and again, tits jiggling as I fuck her the way I wanted to that night—senseless, without boundaries or abandon.

Her eyes whip open and find mine and when she places a hand on my six pack, nails brushing against my skin, it sends a shock right down to my dick.

"Do you know why I tossed that condom so quickly that night?" I pant. "Because it was full and tight. But I wanted to put on another one and go again with you. Shit, I wanted to go all night with you, Sparky."

She licks her lips, nails digging into my flesh. "And now?"

"Now," I puff out, "I want to fuck you until you can't walk or breathe."

She rocks her hips, alternating with the rhythm of mine in a way that makes me believe in Heaven. "So what are you waiting for?"

"Will she hear us?" I flick my eyes to the door.

"Who?" She pants, eyes searching wildly.

"Your grandma."

She bites her lower lip, while shaking her head. "Hearing aid…off at night."

"Good," I growl, "because we're about to wake the dead."

Moving one hand to the headboard, I brace the other next to her head, and slam into her with new force. She grabs my lower back with both hands as I rail into her, sending the legs of the bed scraping against the floor.

"Tell me what you want," I puff out, working up a sweat. "Do you want me to fuck you like a princess, or like a bitch in heat?"

She digs her nails into my back and drags them outward. "God yes," she pants. "A bitch. Your bitch."

I slam into her balls deep, and when her breathy pants tell me she's close to coming again, I bend down and claim her mouth, sucking on her lower lip the way I know she likes.

"Flip over," I growl, my command guttural.

Moving like a cat that's been lying in the sun too long, she pushes up and once on she is on all fours, I gran a pillow and put it under her stomach and coax her down. Sinking my cock back into her, I grip her ass and push her cheeks up, the tops of my thighs slamming into her ass as I thrust my hips.

Watching her ass ripple as I pound into her stirs a reckless hunger I've never felt before. There's no going back. She is the keeper of my secret, and I hers, and she belongs to me.

Laying down over her back, I slow my pace, fucking her deep and slow, then reach for her thigh and push it up, so I can reach under her body to stroke her clit.

"Oh God," she puffs out, her charged, heated pants labored as I bury my cock in her slowly, and deeply, over and over.

"No," I whisper hotly in her ear. "Not God. Me. Your body, your heart, your dreams… they're mine, Sparky. Every inch, every piece."

She moans into the pillow, clit hardening as I stroke it faster; my face buried in her neck as our pants fill the room. What Cruz said that day about seeing his girl pregnant, it was some real caveman shit I didn't understand at the time. But I do now because I want that. I want to brand and breed Jenica so no one else can. It's an overpowering thought that hits me hard and fast.

"I'm gonna come," I puff into her neck. "Pull out or fill you?"

She grabs the back of my head and with a fistful of hair, pulls me closer, moaning in approval as I reach for her hands, and with our hand spread out in front of us, fingers intertwined, I give her all of me.

My entire body shakes as my climax hits, every muscle in my body pulling tight as I shoot my release into her. "Fuck, yes," I groan. "Take it, Sparky. Take all of it."

She moans into the pillow as my climax triggers her own; pussy gripping my cock as it contracts, milking every drop of my release that shoots into her with each beat of my heart.

We lay there for a moment, sweaty and panting, and when I finally ease out of her, cum leaks down the inside of her thigh. Running two fingers up the trail, I bring them up to her sopping pussy. But as I am about to shove it back in, she reaches for my wrist and brings my fingers to her mouth and sucks.It's the hottest, most erotic thing I've ever seen and my dick twitches with life, despite our very thorough fucking.

"Mmm," she hums with delight. "So that's what I've been missing."

"No," I grin and roll onto my back, bringing one hand behind my head, while pulling her to my chest with my other. "It's what you have to look forward to when you're ready."