15. Suck my Knife

I have been tiedto the bed all night, helplessly lying here as each man comes in and takes his turn with me. They keep me doped up, giving me pill after pill so I can escape reality and let my mind take me away. The bizarre thing is that none of them have physically hurt me; they have simply messed with my head and taken me against my will. The drugs they feed me make it impossible to say no to whatever they want to do, and by the time they wear off, I"m fed more, so the high never ends.

My body hurts, the scars all over me are getting worse, and I can already feel the progression. As I lay here, Blade"s words repeated in my head—the ones about killing me—and I shivered, hitting my core deeply. I knew they"d kill me eventually, but I"m hoping I"ll have enough time to convince at least one of them to set me free or at least not kill me. If they want me to join them, I will. I just don"t want to die.

I look around the stone walls, the blood catching my eye again, but this time it does not frighten me. What scares me is the skull sitting on the table beside the bed I"m on that wasn"t here when they brought me in. I jerk my body and scoot back as much as I can for being restrained, fear shaking me like I"m having a fucking seizure. One of them told me Saint collects skulls. How fucking weird. Then again, all of these guys are weird.

I freeze when I hear a commotion in the main part of the Mausoleum, knowing that whenever these guys fight, they take their rage out on me. Please don"t come for me… knowing Halloween is now over and I haven"t seen Melanie at all, leaves me wondering if they"ve killed her too. I am curious what everyone will think when word gets out about what happened at my apartment. Oh my god… all the blood… all the dead bodies...

I try to sit up against the cold, bloody headboard to breathe through the panic attack that threatens to rock me. My heart tightens and my chest squeezes, almost closing up. Closing my eyes, I try to recall a pleasant memory to help me relax... but I can"t fucking think of any.

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