Chapter 16

CHAPTER

SIXTEEN

TRENCH

The snow is bitterly cold, and the cavrinskh sits on the ridge, like it’s waiting for us.

“I don’t like that,” Richter says as he gets to my side.

“Neither do I.” I scan the snow around us, looking for a second, but it’s alone.

Snow crusts its face and its beak-like mouth clacks at us.

“Do we… just shoot it?” Richter asks. “That feels wrong.”

“It does.”

But it doesn’t lunge for us, or even let out the usual warning hiss to make us stay back.

It appears to be sunning itself.

Richter punches through a connection, calling Core.

“Can’t handle a lone cavrinskh between the two of you?” Core snorts.

“Hello to you too,” Richter says on the open line. “Can you do me a favor and pull up a full scan of the Zone? I’m worried this cavrinskh is trying to distract us from another one getting out or, honestly, I don’t know. It’s acting strangely.”

Core grunts. “Yeah? You guys need help out there?”

“I don’t think so.” But I don’t take my eyes off the creature as it watches us.

“Nothing on the sensors on this side of the caldera, though it looks like Echo and Ion are dealing with a problem right now. There’s no activity from Kilo’s last drone pass. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Neither do we. Thanks for checking it out.” He ends the call and settles back on his bike, still glaring at the creature.

It doesn’t move, and I still don’t like it.

“How are you and my sister-in-law getting along?” Richter snugs his gun up to his shoulder.

“You’re asking me that now?”

He shrugs, still looking at the creature. “I’ve been told I might have to kill you if you hurt her.”

Assuming Laurel doesn’t do it on her own. “We’re getting along just fine.”

“Just fine?”

I don’t know what he wants from me. “We fit into each other’s routines well.”

“Well enough that I might be able to see my mate’s face light up when she finds out Jessica’s going to stick around for more than three months?”

“No. Not that well.”

Richter’s shoulder’s drop. “That’s too bad. She’s good for you.”

“And she lives on a different planet.”

He doesn’t say anything to that, but the way his jaw tics, I know he wants to argue with me.

The cavrinskh doesn’t do anything more than watch us.

I’m not going to wait around for it to decide it wants to attack us anymore.

I shoot the ice to its left, and it looks at the scorch mark, and then back to me like it’s bored. With a huff, it stands, shaking the icy frost from its fur and turning its back on us—like it doesn’t have a care in the world—before it starts its climb back up over the edge of the inner caldera.

“What was that about?” Richter leans forward, as if he might be able to see something that isn’t there if he just looks hard enough.

“I don’t know. But I have a feeling we just missed something important.”

Richter waits for the creature to disappear over the ridge before turning back for his bike, but he doesn’t leave.

“Maybe work on getting her to stay?” He says, hopping on. “I’m selfish enough to want it for myself. Laurel is giving her space, but I know she’s happier with her here. And I think there’s more than enough reason for the two of you to figure it out.”

“I’ll keep your opinions in mind if you keep them to yourself from now on.”

I watch him go and when he’s gone, I look up at the empty ridge.

Nothing has been the same since she got here. Nothing ever will be again… whether she stays or not.

JESSICA

I didn’t go back to work when he left.

I went to the window and stared out at the snow, watching him zip across the part of the Zone I can see until he disappeared around a promontory. Jagged blue ice blocks him from view now.

Some day, he’s going to go out into the Zone, and he isn’t going to come back… and I won’t know about it.

Some day, he’ll be gone forever.

That thought settles like an ugly lump in my stomach.

I go to the refrigerator and mindlessly pull out a bottle of water.

It’s a useless thought exercise, but I go through the few options I have and pretend that I have any options at all.

I’m still in the kitchen, empty bottle in my hand when he comes back.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I will be.” I hold out my hand to him and he comes. “Let’s go to bed.”

“It’s too early to sleep.”

“I didn’t say anything about sleeping.” I pull his face down and kiss him. “Take my mind off everything else?”

For a moment, I’m kissing him, and then we’re kissing each other. Trench’s caution is only matched by his passion, and I don’t argue that he’s getting distracted when he plucks me up and lowers me to the floor. He strips off my sweater and his mouth goes to my breast.

I arch into him with a little whimper. There’s so much I want. So much I can’t have.

But there is one thing I can have, one thing I can give him that I haven’t yet.

“Take me upstairs, Trench, please.” My pussy clenches on air as he nips at my ribs. “I want you to fuck my ass.”

He goes still and I meet his eyes when he looks up at me. “You’re sure you’re ready?”

“When have I ever teased you about something like this?” I challenge. “I’m ready if you are.”

He closes his eyes, and for a moment, he looks like he’s in pain. And then, I’m off the floor, in his arms and halfway up the stairs.

Trench doesn’t toss me on the bed like I might have wanted him to. He kisses me and lets me slide down the front of him, letting me feel the thick ridges of his hard cock.

God, I want him. I’ll take him any way I can get.

I pull off his clothes and lick my lips at the sight of him before I shove him back onto the bed. “Give me a second to get what we need.”

I slip into the bathroom, leaving my glasses on the counter and pluck the lube and the pussy plug from where I’d placed it after cleaning it.

He sits on the edge of the bed, waiting for me with a dark glimmer in his eyes, and I have to pause.

I have to acknowledge that this man does things to me that no one else ever has.

There is something intangible about him that makes me think no one else ever will.

He reaches for me, his fingers going between my legs and delving into me like he belongs inside of me, one way or another.

I kiss him, wondering if I’ll get used to how wet he makes me… before I lose him.

Shoving that thought aside, I have to hold onto his head as he goes to his knees, lifting one of my legs over his shoulder and pressing a kiss to my mound instead of inserting the plug.

He holds me there, hand pressed firmly to my back and his tongue toys with my pussy, his teeth graze my clit.

I want him so badly, I could weep.

He makes it easy to forget why I can’t push him back and take him into my body in the most primal way.

“You’re still sure?” he says, looking up at me.

I nod and swallow that little burble of trepidation. “Yeah.”

He picks up the plug, sucking it and leaving it slick with saliva. I exhale when he presses it into me, and the tiny vibrator pressed to my clit makes me squirm.

He stands, and I am reminded of just how big he is. That should make me run for the proverbial hills.

Instead, I get onto the bed on all fours.

He kneels behind me, and the depression of our body rolls the bottle of lube into my knee.

It’s gone a moment later when he grabs it and snaps the cap.

We’ve worked up to this. I know he’s going to fit.

That doesn’t stop me from being slightly terrified.

I flinch when the first drop of cold liquid hits my ass.

My sharp inhale is silent. I manage to hold myself still.

Trench knows what he’s doing. We’ve talked about this extensively while inching our way toward it.

He doesn’t hesitate, he doesn’t rush.

He eases us both into it, checking in with me before every move.

The vibrator pressed against my clit continuously buzzes, helping with every inch.

As he slowly presses into me, every ounce of air leaves my lungs.

Being full of him feels so foreign and so right all at once.

He holds me there for a moment, letting me breathe again, and then…

The movement is small, but it sends a spike of pleasure through me. He’s caged over me, chest to my back, his hand snaking around to press the vibrator more firmly against my clit.

He works himself within me in a slow and steady rhythm, opening me to him the way I want him to, until I can’t think, I can only feel.

I come apart on him, my pussy clenching down on the plug, and I whimper through the coursing pleasure of the orgasm, wishing it was his cock. I clench down on that too, and he makes a guttural noise. His teeth find my shoulder and I can feel him jerk as he comes too.

Each spasm is a new, tiny thrust inside of me.

I don’t give him time to recover. As soon as I’m able to trust my arms and legs to hold me, I pull away from him, just enough that I can slide back.

I manage to get a few strokes in, fucking him with my ass, before he pushes himself back up to kneeling.

“Jess.” Trench says my name like it’s a curse, and his hands go back to my waist to hold me still.

“Mmhmm?”

“Are you just using me for my cock?”

“If I say yes, will it hurt your feelings?”

“Will it be the truth?

A small part of me wishes I could say yes.

I wish it would be true, and that leaving him isn’t going to tear my damn heart out.

“No.”

His thrusts are slow, he’s barely removed himself from me, but I know that will come soon enough.

He nips my back, he moves on me more quickly. Pumping into me with a maddening rhythm. It pushes me right to that precipice… But no further.

“Trench, please ?”

I don’t know what I’m asking for, but he clearly does.

His hand in my hair gripping me tightly, the pressure and pain biting at my scalp as he pulls me back.

I come apart, sobbing his name. Collapsing on exhausted arms, I hear him groan and feel the hot warmth of his come on my back.

He drops to the bed beside me, breathing hard as he pulls me into his arms, seemingly uncaring of the mess we’ve made once again.

He reaches down and switches off the clit vibrator.

“We shouldn’t have started this.” He kisses my forehead. “How am I supposed to go back to the way things were when the woman I love is two galaxies away?”

I close my eyes and want to weep.

I guess I don’t have to leave before my heart breaks.

“I want you so badly. But I can’t see a way to have you and not lose myself in the process.”

He lifts me up, carrying me to the bath and holds me as the water fills and drains until we’re washed clean and left to soak.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did,” he says softly against my hair. “But it’s true.”

He rests his chin on my hair and holds me close, letting me silently weep against his chest.

“I want you to stay with me, but I’ll never ask you to choose me over yourself.”