Chapter 10

CHAPTER

TEN

JESSICA

Trench didn’t have time to change the lock codes before he had to go out into the Zone again.

The monsters know we’re here, and they’re hunting.

Every time Trench goes out into the snow, there’s a chance that he doesn’t come back.

I wonder if Laurel has it easier because she can feel that he’s okay.

But that’s not a question I can ask.

I’m not about to tell her what I am doing with Trench.

She’d only tell me what I already know. I’m being a massive idiot.

Hurting myself when I leave—locking myself in the ship’s bathroom and crying the entire trip back—that’s fine. That’s self-inflicted.

But if I hurt Trench .

That fuzzy feeling starts behind my eyes, and I go to the kitchen, splashing water on my face.

I need to take my mind off it.

So I try to do what I’m good at and ignore the rest of the world by focusing on work.

When that doesn’t work, I dial up the one person I know won’t be annoyed by an unannounced intergalactic phone call.

Chrys yawns as she answers, snuggling a hot pink blanket closer to her chin. “I wondered how long it was going to take. How’s the ‘whole new world’ thing working out for you?”

“It’s fine.”

Brows pinched, she sits up and glares at me. “Fine isn’t in your vocabulary, Jess. Fine is what you say when you don’t want to tell me and I’m pretty sure you didn’t access communication technology neither of us understand in order to not actually tell me what you’re thinking.”

“How do you always know?”

She shrugs. “If my plans to run away and join the circus fall through, I’ll look into psychology courses.”

“They’ve put me with an unbonded Sian man.”

Brows pinched, Chrys asks, “Is that safe?”

“Depends on what you’re worried about?”

She snorts and flops back into her pillows. “How badly do you want to fuck him?”

“Bad.”

Chrys squeals a little and then she goes very still. “Oh, that sucks. I kind of forgot for a second.”

She frowns at me. “What are you going to do?”

“Call my baby sister to distract myself?”

“Do you want me to get up and do a flip for you?” She asks with a smile befitting a little kid who’s just learned a new trick.

“No, I—”

Heavy footsteps make me turn, but the man who walks through the doorway is the wrong shade of green.

I blink at him, but he doesn’t even seem to see me.

“Hello, sailor,” Chrys says with a quiet awe.

The pale green Sian man stares at her for a long moment, and she stares right back.

I finally have to clear my throat. “Trench isn’t here.”

“No.” He finally tears his eyes away from my sister. “I can see that.”

He glares at me for a moment. I wish Trench was here to deal with him.

Jaw clenched, he glances at Chrys one more time before leaving without another word.

“Okay,” Chrys says with a little laugh. “Who was that?”

“I honestly don’t know.”

“Then maybe I need to bring up my safety question again.”

“Oh, Laurel conveniently forgot to mention some things. Let me tell you about the monsters.”

“The what!”

TRENCH

This cavrinskh isn’t worth taking back. I had to cut the thing to pieces before it gave up the fight.

I hate wasting them.

If I have to kill them, I at least want the possibility of learning something from them.

Arc joins me as I toss the last pieces into the open pit. It’s one of a dozen throughout the Zone.

“You have a house guest?” he asks.

I don’t like the way he says it. “I do.”

“Is she okay to stay with you? I mean, she’s met you and hasn’t run straight back to town.” If anyone else was here, he’d say it with his usual mocking tone.

My brother doesn’t waste his energy on that unless he’s got an audience.

I am going to change the lock codes before I even go back inside. “She’s fine.”

He nods as if he didn’t really care.

“How long have you been out?” I ask, looking east where his bike’s path is still visible, instead of west toward his assigned section of the Zone.

Arc shrugs and then checks his bike’s battery. “Long enough.”

I watch him stare at the horizon for a little too long.

“Are you hanging around because you have something to say? Or are you waiting to shove me in when the lava starts to flow?”

He chuckles, actually smiling for once. “I can’t kill you. I’d be the first one they suspected.”

“Maybe if you weren’t such an asshole.”

“You of all people know I can’t change who I am.” He looks at me with a tight sneer. “No one wants either of us. Maybe you can pretend it’s not true and try to play house with your scientist, but I know better.”

I glance back toward my outpost. Someone could want me.

“Don’t.” Arc shakes his head when I look back at him. “You hold onto that kind of hope and it’s just going fuck you up. Besides, if she wanted you, she’d be all over your cock already. And she hasn’t let you bond to her, so…” He glares at me, like he’s trying to see something that isn’t there.

If he finds it, it disgusts him.

“You’re a lab rat for her.” He looks at the cavrinskh below as the lava starts to flow. “And when there’s a scientist and a lab rat, the lab rat never wins.”

He hops on his bike and bolts without another word.

I stare after him wondering if I’ve been right to let him vent his vitriol on me. Arc isn’t nice to anyone, but he’s never quite so outwardly hostile to any of the others.

I had told Jessica about the oldest among us, but I hadn’t mentioned that Arc was probably the youngest. He was barely five years old when the Maker took us. He didn’t know anything outside of an orphanage and a prison cell for the first twenty years of his life.

No one wants either of us.

He’s wrong about himself. I have to hope he’s wrong about me as well.