Chapter Six

In nothing but his jeans, Ever fought for control. He had been hard for so long, he was on the edge of insanity. The handcuffs chafed his wrists. He had tried too many times to reach for Carver, forgetting he couldn't. The constant pulling against the cuffs left his wrists raw. A light gag covered his mouth. Carver had left it loose so Ever could spit it out if he needed to breathe clearer or safe word, but damn. Carver was a goddamn sadist. He wouldn't put Ever out of his misery. Something dark ate at the back of his mind. This felt like punishment. It was a message. Ever shouldn't have questioned what they were.

Ever had been handcuffed to Carver's bed before. It had always been an amazing experience. Not tonight. He had asked for a label for their relationship. That must have been too far for Carver. Carver had obviously decided to make him pay. It hurt his chest to know Carver was this dead set against calling them a monogamous couple. He was sickeningly in love. That made it even harder for him to accept this half-life. The idea of Carver bringing someone else home, playing this same game with another man, it was enough to break him. But what say did he have in the matter? Carver wouldn't agree to be exclusive.

In nothing but a sexy thong, Carver moved around the room, teasing Ever with the sight of him. He gathered toys. Ever swallowed. He prayed those toys were for him. His mind was ready to snap. Carver's phone rang. Ever bit back a groan. He couldn't take much more.

Carver flashed him an evil smile as he reached for the device.

Ever banged his head on the pillow.

Carver answered. "Hey, bro."

Ever blinked at the way he suddenly sounded extremely hoarse.

"Shit. I fell asleep and forgot to call them. I have the flu. Tested positive this morning. Sky high fever. The works."

It hit Ever. They had been so busy, Carver hadn't called in to work. He was faking sickness for Ever. That was kind of nice.

"Are you nuts? I don't want you to catch this. I'm good. If I need anything, I'll just get it delivered and have them leave it at the door."

Dang. It sounded like Casper wanted to take care of his twin. Too bad.

"I know. Sorry about that. That new guy Duncan hired already quit. I told him I would take his shift until they hired someone new. I thought you knew, but I should've been texting and calling. You know how I can be."

That was a bit of a lie. Carver had been moving his shifts around to spend time with Ever. He felt a little better with each passing comment. Ever had to mean something to Carver.

Carver groaned at something Casper said and then smiled. "I love you too. Tell Major I'm sorry."

Carver disconnected the call. For a moment, he tapped the phone against his lips, staring at nothing as if lost in thought. His gaze slid toward Ever. He set his phone aside.

"Well, that bought us a few days to play uninterrupted." Carver crossed the room and straddled Ever's body. "Whatever shall we do with all our free time?"

Ever's erection strained to be closer to Carver.

Carver wiggled, making the situation worse. "Oh. Are you hard for me?" He leaned in and went nose to nose with Ever. "You should've thought about that before stalking my brother. Maybe you could have me right now."

Unexpected rage flared through Ever.

Carver chuckled. "We'd never work. Two psychopaths in a relationship is definitely at least one too many. We can keep playing, though. I'm one hundred percent not done with you yet." An evil smile tugged at Carver's lips.

Ever snapped. He turned his head and spit out the gag. "Popsicle."

Confusion crossed Carver's features, but he immediately grabbed the handcuffs' keys and went to work, freeing Ever. At least Ever knew now Carver would stop if he safe-worded. He had never done it before, but Ever had officially had enough. Ever didn't know if this was just a game or what, but he was so fucking done. The moment his hands were free, Ever started grabbing his stuff that was scattered throughout the house.

Carver followed on his heels. "Tell me what's wrong, Ever. I can't fix it if you don't talk to me. Did I hurt you?"

Ever spun. His temper was through the roof. Carver's sudden terrified expression had Ever reeling it in. He took a calming breath. "Yeah. You're hurting me. I know I'm just that crazy creep you decided to torment, but goddamn, Carver. I'm in love with you. Meanwhile, this is just a game for you. You can't stop throwing it in my face that I got you mixed up with your brother, even though I know you know goddamn good and well I don't want him. It's gone beyond obvious you don't feel the same about me with the way you keep finding fake issues to shove between us. I can't keep sticking around, hurting my own feelings. You don't really want me, and every day, that knowledge gets harder to swallow." He took another breath, trying to calm down. It wasn't happening. "Since we'd never work," he said, making air quotes, "then I'll just go." He snatched up his shoes and tore open the front door. Carver said something, but Ever was too angry to hear it. He slammed the door closed behind him and found himself face to face with Raymond's righthand man, Boris.

At the slamming of the door, Boris had looked away from staring at Casper's door to eye him. For a moment, they simply held each other's stare, as if equally shocked to see each other.

A million times in his career, Ever had to cover his ass with lies. He fell back on that acting to save himself. Ever motioned toward the door he just slammed. "Women. Am I right?" He knew how he looked. Naked from the waist up and holding his clothes while his hair stood in every direction. No doubt he also sported a few hickeys.

Boris smiled. It sent a chill down Ever's spine. "Yeah. Women." He motioned toward Casper's door. "Do you know if this man is home?" His thick accent made him hard to understand, but Ever managed.

He gestured as if he had nothing. "I've been coming around for about a month and I've never seen anyone there. Not even a car in the driveway. I thought that side was empty, honestly."

Boris nodded. "Thanks. Good luck with your issue."

Ever smiled and jogged from the porch and circled the house to his truck. The second he was inside, he called Carver. "Pick up. Pick up. Pick up." Thankfully, he answered on the third ring.

"Listen, Ever—"

"Be quiet and listen to me," Ever said, cutting him off. "Boris is at your brother's door. Grab your gun and go-bag. Quiet like a fucking mouse, come out the back door and get in my truck. Do it now. Do it fast. Don't hang up the phone."

"Okay."

Ever chewed the side of his nail as he kept watch and listened to Carver shuffling around. In under a minute, Carver appeared and jumped into the passenger seat.

"Get down on the floorboard."

Carver didn't question him.

Ever hit the button to lock the doors and backed down the driveway. He moved at a reasonable speed, trying not to look suspicious. Boris turned and watched him go. Ever didn't take a single breath until they were out of sight. He kept his gaze moving between the road and the mirrors. No one followed.

"Okay. You're clear."

Carver looked shaken as he moved from the floor to the seat. He put on his seatbelt. Silence filled the truck so thickly, it was cloying.

Finally, Carver cleared his throat. "Thank you."

Ever nodded. He watched the road. It was the only safe option.

"Ever—"

"How do you feel about Biloxi?" Ever asked, cutting off whatever bullshit Carver was about to feed him.

"Um." Carver sounded confused. "I don't know. I've never been there."

Ever nodded. "You've bought yourself a few days off from work. I think you'll love it there. We can gamble. It's like a tiny, redneck Vegas."

Carver didn't respond. Ever chanced a quick glance his way. Carver stared at his lap. His hands were clasped so tightly, his knuckles were white. Ever felt like shit. Carver was going through it and Ever wasn't helping.

"I swear I won't let anything happen to you."

Carver didn't acknowledge the words in any way. He didn't react or budge from his tense-looking defeat. Ever's shoulders fell. He didn't doubt for a second Carver was still traumatized by the abuse he suffered as a teen. Now he had Ever, yelling, stomping, and slamming doors. Add in a psychotic killer, and it was no wonder Carver didn't want a man. Every single one was a danger to him.

His throat felt like it had a golf ball stuck in it. Carver's eyes burned and his stomach shook. Most of all, he was heartbroken as fuck. He had failed. Carver had truly wanted to watch something beautiful grow between Ever and him. Instead, he had let his insecurities shine. He had done what he always did. Carver had turned mean and sadistic, protecting his heart, and pushing Ever away. He hadn't meant a single word he said while he had Ever handcuffed. Goddamn. He hated himself.

Ever had said he was in love with Carver. That was the one thought that kept wrecking him over and over again. Halfway through their eleven-hour drive, his mind cleared a hair. He forced his gaze from his lap. Carver had to start thinking about someone other than himself.

"You don't have any clothes or anything with you."

With one hand on the steering wheel and his elbow leaned on the door, Ever didn't look his way. He shrugged. "We'll find a store somewhere. It's not a big deal."

"Don't you need to work?"

Ever finally cast him a quick glance. He looked wrecked. "I don't need money as badly as I need you to be safe."

"Ever, I—"

"You should search for us a hotel. Figure out where we should stay."

"Would you listen to me?" Frustration boiled inside him, making him sound harsher than he wanted. People refusing to listen to him was one of his triggers. He took a calming breath. "When I left you behind in Daytona, that's what I did. While I felt really good about keeping you calm, and I enjoyed every minute we spent together, I tucked the memory of you away afterward. I figured you were just like every other straight guy on the planet who tries to convince his gay friend to suck his dick, just so he'll know how it feels," Carver added with air quotes, even though Ever watched the road.

"When you came back into my life, you felt like you'd already had months with me. But I feel like I've only had a month, if any of that makes sense. I don't want to be with anyone else, but you also scare the hell out of me. People don't keep me. Not for long. Like you said, I'm mean, and no, I'm not throwing that in your face. I am mean. Maybe it's just a defense mechanism. I don't know, but I drive people away, and I don't want that with you. I don't want to lose you. If you need to hear we're exclusive and it would kill me if you touched anyone else, then we're exclusive and it would kill me if you touched anyone else. Plus, I would never hurt you by cheating. You're more than enough for me. But it'll also kill me when you walk away, and you will. Everyone does. It won't be your fault. Just like today, I'll break you."

A wry smile touched Ever's lips. He glanced Carver's way. "You didn't break me today. I broke myself." He went back to watching the road. "Maybe I was just that straight guy, just looking to get his dick sucked the night we met. I don't think so, though. With you, I felt safe. I'd never confessed that desire to another living soul before that night." His hand lifted from the steering wheel, as if showing he had nothing, before reclaiming the wheel. "Even after you walked away, I still didn't want to accept the reality of myself. You're absolutely right, though. I've had months of feelings for you, and you've only had a month. It's not right for me to expect anything. I don't expect anything. I might've had a bad moment earlier, but there was never any chance I could or would stay away. You're the one for me. You couldn't drive me away if you tried. I like that you're a little mean."

Carver shoved his hands beneath his thighs, trying to hide his nervousness. "Okay. I'm not going anywhere if you're not."

Ever leaned his way. He switched hands on the steering wheel so they could hold hands. Carver accepted, hoping Ever couldn't feel the way he shook. Ever brought his hand to his mouth and kissed it before holding it against his chest. "Is it okay if I still tell you I love you sometimes? I don't want to pressure you or make things weird. So, if you don't want that, I'll understand. Not really, but I'll try."

A laugh burst from Carver at Ever's honesty. "I'd love for you to keep saying it. It's not something I hear often."

The sweetest of smiles stretched Ever's lips. "Good. I love you."

Carver's chest warmed. He hugged Ever's arm. Carver made a silent vow to try harder. He didn't give people much effort because they gave him none. Ever wasn't like that. He gave Carver everything he had without embarrassment or reservation. Carver would do the same. Ever deserved that much.