Chapter 12 Zoey
“No. Absolutely not.”
I’d known this would be Harb’k’s response. Despite having only known him for such a short time, I knew his protective instincts would rebel against me traveling on my own to find the supplies we needed to make a trap for the next scuttler that got its claws on the Object of Doom.
It was the old shipping container on the side of the road that gave me the idea. If we couldn’t touch the Object of Doom, then why not let one of the bugs do it for us? A scuttler, to be precise. Once the creature had it, we could chase it into the shipping container.
But first, we had to attach cables to the container so the moment the scuttler was inside, we’d lift the container off the ground, and it’d be stuck like a crab in a bucket. Transporting it would be as simple as hauling the container behind us at a distance.
“But it will totally work!”
“You are not going alone.”
“Well, someone has to stay back and keep the other bugs off it. Just because they haven’t shown up yet doesn’t mean they won’t.”
The fact that no bugs had shown up yet was surprising. I’d almost expected the bugs to come rushing in to claim their prize, but they hadn’t. It wasn’t for lack of trying either, because they were definitely looking. It seemed they couldn’t detect it unless they were close. We just had to make sure to keep them at bay until we were ready, then we’d invite a sacrificial scuttler to help.
“You will stay with my shuttle, and I will retrieve the cables.”
I gawked at the hunter. “Surely you don’t trust me that much.”
“My name is not Shirley.”
I was about to correct him until I realized he was grinning back at me.
I rolled my eyes. Of all the warriors that had landed on Earth, I’d ended up with the one cracking dad jokes. Ugh! But I couldn’t stop the corners of my lips from lifting in amusement.
“And I do not believe you will steal my shuttle.”
“Okay, so we do it your way and I stay back with the shuttle to keep the bugs off the Object of Doom.”
Harb’k scowled. “I do not like that name.”
“Fine. The Doom Object.”
“That is no better.” Harb’k turned to his screen. “Shuttle, please calculate the odds of success for this plan.”
His shuttle started making some very fake computer noises.
“This is all Pip’s fault,” Harb’k grumbled.
“You mentioned that your shuttle isn’t a PIP model.”
“Yes, but it has been spending time with one. Some of Pip’s eccentricities have rubbed off on my shuttle.” He pressed his lips in a thin line. “It is not supposed to make those noises.”
“Calculations finished. The odds of success are excellent as long as you avoid the centicreep I have detected coming toward us. If you run afoul of the centicreep, the odds are merely good.”
“That is acceptable. Thank you, shuttle.” Harb’k had his closet open again as he selected another set of weapons for his upcoming outing. “Would you like to meet Pip, Zoey?”
“Can I? But I have to go to Sanctuary after.”
Harb’k was making it really hard for me to stick to my plans. First, the Trader’s Market, and now the ability to meet a super-intelligent shuttle.
“You can meet him right now. He can keep you company while I am gone. Shuttle, please connect with Pip and give him a quick recap of everything that has happened.”
Moments later, a new voice filled the shuttle.
“Howdy, Harby. Who’s your new lady friend?” The voice sounded like a human pretending to be an ultra-intelligent robot.
“Pip, this is Zoey. Did my shuttle update you with everything?”
“It sure did. Hi, Zoey. I’m Pip.” An emoji appeared on the screen.
“Nice to meet you, Pip.”
I was meeting a super-smart shuttle through another shuttle. Today was turning out to be very odd indeed.
“Teach Zoey how to use the weapons on the shuttle while I’m gone so she can keep the scourge at bay while I go retrieve some supplies,” Harb’k said.
“Yessirree.”
“I can do that too,” said Harb’k’s shuttle.
“You can both help,” I said, wondering just how smart Harb’k’s shuttle was. It had offered without being asked.
With Harb’k all suited up and looking like a knight in a leather loincloth, the shuttle landed so he could step outside.
“Wait,” Pip called. “You have to give him a kiss for good luck.”
I gawked at the screen. “Me?”
“Yes, you. We don’t have lips, silly.”
“Yeah, silly,” Harb’k’s ship repeated smugly.
Ah, I now saw what Harb’k had meant by his shuttle spending time with a Pip model. Monkey see, monkey do.
“Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss,” Pip started chanting. Harb’k’s shuttle joined in.
Oh boy. I turned to Harb’k, but he had a smug look as well. “I, too, would like a kiss for good luck.”
Then he was pulling me to him and kissing me as the two shuttles cheered. It ended quickly, and I was left feeling rather disappointed. But we did have a mission to accomplish, and the two shuttles were watching. It was best to keep things PG-13, though I wondered if it was time I changed our ratings to something a little more interesting. My body sure wanted it.
Then Harb’k stepped out into the field, and I was left in charge of two ship AIs.
It wasn’t long before the first flyer showed up. The second it got close, it oriented toward the dead one on the ground and the precious cargo in its claws. Just as I’d surmised, the bugs could feel it once they were close, but not when they were far away.
I expected the flyer to call out like it usually did when it found something edible, but it didn’t. Instead, it approached cautiously and quietly. It didn’t want the other scourge in the area to know it had found the prize. Sneaky. And terrifying, considering that meant it had at least enough intelligence to think ahead.
With the creature’s attention focused on the prize, my two new AI friends instructed me to reach behind the nav screen for the controller. I found something that looked like a video game controller magnetized to the counter there. Except this one was huge and had a joystick in the center.
“You can hold it and use it anywhere on the shuttle, or you can place it in front of the screen right here,” Pip said as a spot in front of the screen lit up.
I placed the controller on it, and it magnetized into place.
“How was Harb’k controlling you before without this?” I asked the shuttle.
“He programmed locations verbally. You can do that, too, but the weapons must be hand-operated.”
“Unless you’re a PIP model,” Pip said. “I can shoot anytime I want. Pew! Pew!”
Considering he sounded like an eight-year-old, I wondered if that was really a good idea, but I kept it to myself.
The ship’s blasters were ridiculously easy to operate, and it wasn’t long before two flyers were on the ground. I’d even downed the second one before it got too close to our artifact.
Not wanting a pile of dead bugs to be in our way later, I decided I needed to take care of the bugs long before they got close. The next scourge to come near was a handful of scuttlers. These were easy to take care of as well. This was kind of fun.
I had to admit that Harb’k’s compromise with me staying to shoot and him traveling to find the cables and nets was a good one. Even with my electric scooter, Harb’k was probably faster, and he could fight, too, if he got into a tight spot.
I’d have to wait things out if bugs cornered me. Riley and I once got trapped for two whole days before the bugs lost interest. We didn’t have time for that right now.
With nothing left to shoot at, I lifted the shuttle higher so I could have a better view of the area. From where we were, I could see Harb’k making his way across a field.
There was nothing else to do, so I decided to chitchat with the shuttles. “Shuttle, do you have a name?” I asked. “It feels weird just calling you Shuttle when I’m calling Pip, Pip.”
“My name is—” The shuttle proceeded to make that strange noise it had made when we first met.
“Oh.” I struggled but couldn’t even manage the first syllable. “I don’t think I can pronounce that,” I said, giving up.
“I told you,” Pip said, “you have to pick a name the humans can pronounce. My official name is”—Pip rattled out a string of noises filled with growls and snarls—“which translates to ‘personality and intelligence prototype’ in English so, P-I-P, Pip.”
“What does your name translate to in English?” I asked Harb’k’s shuttle.
“It translates to Shuttle Program Number Three.”
“Wow, the Xarc’n military was so creative.”
But the shuttle didn’t catch my sarcasm. “They were,” it agreed. “They created the hunters and the shuttles.”
Pip did, though. “I don’t think that’s what she… never mind.”
“I do not mind the name Shuttle. Harb’k has called me that for decades. Xarc’n or English, it is the same. I am not picky like Pip.”
“I am not picky,” Pip huffed. “Anyway, I can’t wait for you to get back to the base and meet everyone. They’re going to be so happy that Harb’k has a female. But I think some of the women in New Franklin will be upset that he is taken. They have crushes on him.”
There was a lot to unpack there. First, Harb’k had women crushing on him? But also, Pip seemed to think that I was going to return to his camp and that Harb’k and I were a couple or something.
Not wanting to disappoint the shuttle, I said, “We're not actually together like that , and I’m not heading back to camp with him.”
“Then where will you go? It’s dangerous out there!”
“I’m heading to Sanctuary after this.”
There was a loud gasp, followed by, “You traitor!”