28. Amanda

Chapter 28

Amanda

W e started out in separate beds again, but I woke again lying across Xax's chest. I slid off him and padded to the bathing area where I took care of a few things. As I was washing my hands, more tampons appeared on the side.

"I don't need any more," I said. The lights glowed overhead before muting once more. "Thanks!"

I poked my head into the living room, finding Maverick sound asleep in his fluffy bed Alexa had generated last night.

I should make breakfast.

I should go check out my tea shop and look for Gerain and Floosar. They were going to come by this morning with herbs I could sample for potential tea blends.

With so many things to do, the last thing I should be thinking of was crawling back into bed with Xax. Waking him. Seeing where this might go between us .

Something like that wasn't for a woman like me. He was too sweet, kind, and he had so much to offer. As for me, I was basically homeless here. I owned nothing, not even the clothing on my back.

I didn't deserve . . .

My brain came to a screeching halt.

I was doing it again, telling myself I wasn't worthy of affection or love, that the wonderful things life had to offer would never be handed to me. That I had to work for everything of value.

No. This wasn't true.

I was worthy. I deserved not only the love of someone special, but the chance to love him in return. Here on Zuldrux, I had so much wealth, I couldn't quite figure out how to spend it all. My wealth came from inside my heart, and it was overflowing.

"I deserve this," I whispered. Saying it out loud was incredibly freeing.

Now I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

His mother could return today or tomorrow to tell us what the gods had decided. It was clear she cared for Xax but as their elder, she'd have to put the needs of the clan and the gods' wishes before her love for her adopted son.

I would not willingly mate with Tribon or anyone else. It was up to me to decide who I married. If the gods said I must mate with Tribon, would the rest of the clan banish me when I refused? The thought of leaving this cozy home and village made me sad, but the thought of leaving Xax made my chest hurt so much, I rubbed it. In such a short time, he'd come to mean a lot to me. I wanted to be with him and no one else.

I didn't want to create conflict here. If the gods said I belonged with Tribon, I couldn't stay. But leaving would rip my heart to pieces because . . .

I wanted to be with Xax.

Tiptoeing back to the bedroom, I climbed underneath the covers, snuggling into Xax's side. He didn't wake, and he was so warm and wonderful to lie with. In no time, I fell back asleep.

I woke when he stirred.

"Let me prepare your breakfast," he said softly. His arms tightening around me, he kissed the top of my head.

Truly, this guy should be cloned and copies of him should be sent by the gods to Earth, because plenty of women—and men—would be thrilled to have their very own Xax.

If they did something like that, I'd feel jealous. I wanted all of this male, even his copies.

"Breakfast can wait," I blurted out, flopping onto my back beside him.

He rose onto his elbow, peering down at me, and it was clear my words were confusing him. I'd never been good at speaking my mind when it came to things like this. Why was I embarrassed about discussing sexual stuff? Oh, yeah, I knew. Because I'd learned about sex and cocks and clits from the steamy movies I stumbled across online. Too often, it consisted of moaning and very few emotions. I knew they weren't real. Well, I knew the in and out stuff was real, but I knew there had to be something more to sex than just putting part A into part B and moving it around while groaning. Sex with other guys had been decent enough, but nothing like what I'd done with Xax.

The library expanded my sexual horizons through romance novels. At least in those, the sex was done with emotion. Love made people long for each other, and in each book, the guy was pretty much perfect in bed.

I quickly learned that wasn't the case. My first experience with a high school boyfriend in the back seat of his car involved a bunch of fumbling, a brief flash of pain, and him grunting a few times before he came. I was left drippy down there in an unpleasant way and unsatisfied. I had more fun with my own fingers than him.

I'd been with other guys who made more effort than my high school boyfriend, and a few times, I actually came from their touch, but while some would focus on my clit for foreplay, once it got down to the part A and part B part, they seemed to forget it took more stimulation than a cock moving around inside me to give me full pleasure.

You'd think I would've given up after that, but there was always a spark of hope in my heart that I'd find someone who felt my pleasure was as important as his own.

Xax had licked me until I exploded, but he hadn't gotten off himself. Would he be a more generous lover? I hated that I was doubting this already, doubting him and us. It was a simple thing. Give my body to him and see what happened.

Try out his meat, as they said in this clan.

I could show him what I needed, right? And if he suddenly said he wasn't interested in learning, I could plant the spore and germinate my own shroom.

Or leave and find another clan who might take me in.

I growled.

"I don't mind preparing the morning meal," he said. Were his eyes sparkling with humor? He couldn't know what I was thinking or about the doubts in my mind.

"I want to try your meat," I blurted out. "All the meat."

His unibrow lifted. "Define this."

"Part A needs to go into part B and move around a bit. No, it needs to move around a lot. At least until I've come."

His brow resettled but scrunched together. "Part A . . ."

That was right; he was a virgin.

"I assume you mean . . ." His face cleared. "Part A. Ah, I see. I assume my cock is part A and your lovely, saturated passage is part B."

"Cunt. Pussy. Those are some of the terms we use for part B, though many think cunt is derogatory, not a sweet, loving name for it."

His frown returned.

"Call it a passage, then," I said. "There's no harm in using that." Why was I complicating this? It should be fun for us. Hopefully. Maybe. "Yes, I want you to put your cock into my passage."

"And move it around a bit."

"Exactly."

He grinned. "I'd be happy to connect our parts."

"Then, okay." My breath whooshed out. Maybe this didn't have to be so complicated. We'd do it and see what happened after that. "We don't have to do it again if we don't like it."

His grin only grew. "What makes you think we won't like it? I think it'll be amazing."

"Sometimes, things aren't perfect."

He rolled me onto my back and braced himself over me. "I cannot promise perfection, but I can assure you of one thing."

"What's that?"

"I'll do my best to always make sure you're completely satisfied."