16. Amanda

Chapter 16

Amanda

D igaray announced she'd to travel to an island where the majority of their gods lived to seek guidance. Before she left, Xax briefly spoke with her in a murmur too low for me to overhear. They hugged, she went inside her shroom, and he came over to me to explain.

Tribon sent me a long look. He lifted the haunch of meat and walked over to the fire pit, where he dropped it. I turned away as he collected wood. He must plan to smoke the meat or cook some for his own meal.

"I'm not mating with Tribon no matter what your gods say," I declared. "I'll run away before I do something like that."

"I'm sorry," Xax said. "I should've shown the sign to my adopted mother last evening."

"If your gods said I'm your mate, they'll tell her that, right?"

To think I'd rejected him. Now I only felt longing. The whim of their gods might pull us apart before I'd made up my mind about whether I wanted to be with him or not.

Digaray left her shroom a short time later with a pack secured to her back. She came over to where I stood with Xax. Her gaze swept down my frame before she sent me a sad look.

"Welcome, daughter," she said softly. "As Xax's mother, I am happy you two have found each other."

"Why not state that, then?" I asked. I wasn't a gift for her to hand over to Xax, but I didn't want to be with their traedor.

"I cannot. It would show unfair favoritism." She stroked my arm. "I will travel to speak with the gods, and when I return within a few days, I'm confident I'll be able to deliver the answer you both seek. If Xax still had the plant sent by the gods, I could decide now, but as elder, I'm not only subject to the gods' will but, to some extent, that of our traedor. This was the only solution I could come up with. Even Tribon will not dare interfere in the will of the gods when I deliver such a message. We must keep peace within our clan."

She gave both of us quick hugs before she strode from the village.

"Let's walk," Xax said, taking my hand. He led me into the woods in the opposite direction his mother had taken, following a trail weaving among the enormous purple trees. "I ask you to trust in the gods' will. Please don't run away."

"I know I said I would, though I don't want to. "

He shrugged. "I'd be tempted."

"I won't go to Tribon no matter what your gods say."

"I understand."

Despite my concern, it was a pretty day. I sucked in a breath scented with crushed vegetation and a hint of flowers. Under any other circumstances, I would never walk in the woods. This was an alien planet full of unpredictable creatures. I knew Xax would do his best to protect me, and I was savvy enough to survive a short time, but if I ran, I'd be on my own.

My biggest experience with outdoor adventure was a walk in the local park. I'd never seen a wild beast outside of a feral cat in the alley behind my apartment building or the flock of pigeons nesting near the roof. All placid creatures that wouldn't eat a person.

This was a dangerous world. I wouldn't last one night on my own in the wild.

"Trust that the gods will tell my mother we are mates," Xax said.

I stopped on the trail. "That's the thing. I belong to me. No one else. My only goal back on Earth was to open a tea shop."

He looked at me with so much longing, it squeezed the air from my lungs. "You didn't want a mate or younglings?"

"Someday." I started walking again, and he kept pace with me. "I'm thirty-years-old. You'd think my baby clock would be ticking by now, but I haven't felt the urge to have a child so far. Sure, I want to be with someone I love one day, but that always felt like something I'd look for in the future. Never now. I know you feel I'm your mate, but I'm a person too. I get to have a say about who I'm with and who I love."

"Yes, you do." He stopped on the path again and took my hand, turning me to face him. "If you want me, I'm yours, but if you do not want me, I will continue to provide a home for you. No matter what, I will protect you."

"That's sweet of you." My heart was being crushed against my ribs. I'd barely known him for twenty-four hours. Surely it took longer than that to decide if you wanted to be with someone for a lifetime. "I'm floundering," I croaked. "I don't know what's up and what's down. I didn't bring a watch, so I can't even tell what time it is." It was a silly thing to focus on when my future might soon belong to the whim of alien gods.

"Look at the sun." He pointed to where it hovered overhead, the beams winking through the purple canopy. "When it's above our heads, it's midday. Morning is when the sun rises, and dusk is when it sets. You don't need to know more than that, do you?"

"What if I have an appointment?"

"With whom?"

"I don't know. Maybe Cresar and I agree to meet to swim at two."

"Two of what?"

"The time I'm supposed to meet him," I half-wailed.

"When he's ready to swim, he'll tell you. If you're ready at that time and excited to swim, you'll walk to the river together. You don't need to give such a thing a number to make it valid."

"That's too simple." I started down the trail again, stomping my feet.

"I've made you angry." He caught up and strode along beside me.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm upset with the beings who stole me from Earth."

"Our gods ."

"Beings. That's all I'm going to call them. They didn't give me a choice, and that sucks. But now your gods or their whim is about to control who I live with, and I won't allow this to happen."

He stopped. I kept walking but turned to look back at him, my eyebrows lifted.

"I'm going to trust my mother," he said.

"She should've just said no one has any say in who I'm with but me."

"You're right. If you had the choice," he said, "if they'd asked you first, what would you say?"

I flung out my arms. "I don't know."

"Were you happy on Earth? Do you miss it?"

Did I? "Not too much. I had my own place." That I rented. I didn't actually own it. "I had a car, and it took me a long time to pay it off. A job. Furniture I spent a lot of time saving for. I was a collector, choosing each piece because it was perfect for a certain spot in my apartment."

"Things."

"Yeah, and what's wrong with caring for things?"

"They're not real. They're not me."

My throat choked off. I wasn't sure what to say. Too many feelings flew through me. I couldn't grab onto any of them long enough to give them a name.

"Did you have someone to love?" he asked.

"No, but that was coming when I was ready."

"What if my gods have given you someone you would care for forever?"

He meant himself. He was amazing. I could see that already. Hot, actually from his silver hair to his blue skin to his height, though he was so much more than his physical appearance. I could already tell he was funny. Kind. And that if I gave myself to him, he'd adore me every single second for the rest of my days.

"Given a choice, would you say that yes, you wanted to come to Zuldrux?" he asked again.

I looked around, taking in the gorgeous vegetation, the fresh air, and the sun warming my skin. Like with Xax's physical appearance, they were just the surface of what made up this new and . . . Okay, this exciting world.

But choose to come here all on my own?

"Maybe," I croaked.

He sent me a lopsided grin that made my heart trip over itself and my knees quiver. "Maybe is better than no."