9. Vivienne

9

VIVIENNE

V ivienne stretched her legs toward the fire, the quilt draped over her lap radiating the heat of their shared space. She inhaled deeply. The air smelled of wood smoke and pine, scents she now intimately associated with Alex, and she noticed she didn’t recoil from them anymore.

A pine branch rested on the mantel, its green needles kissed by melted snow. Beneath it, a cluster of candles flickered in uneven rhythm, their soft glow transforming the modest room into something cozy and almost magical.

Vivienne’s gaze drifted toward Alex, who was setting another two mismatched mugs of tea on the table. The woman moved with quiet purpose, her movements efficient yet unhurried. Even now, she was mindful of every detail, stoking the fire to keep the cabin warm, brushing stray flour off the counter, making sure Vivienne didn’t go without.

It wasn’t the Christmas Vivienne had imagined for herself—or even one she would’ve considered celebrating—but for the first time in years, it felt like the day carried meaning. No glittering lights or towering trees. No carefully curated social media posts of a perfect holiday. Just this: warmth, care, and the quiet kind of connection she’d forgotten to miss.

Alex turned, catching Vivienne’s gaze. "Tea’s ready."

Vivienne smiled, feeling a flicker of nervous energy at how her heart seemed to respond. "Thank you." She rose to join Alex at the table.

“I found your medals, by the way. Winter Olympics 2006 Turin. 2010 Vancouver. 2014 Sochi. 9 gold medals. 2 silver. Did you forget to mention your famous athlete history? ”

“Must have slipped my mind,” Alex said quietly.

“What was your sport?”

“Snowboarding,” Alex said as she set the table.

“Of course,” Vivienne said. “And, to be the best in the world? I’m not surprised at your dedication and skill. I don’t know much about sports but this is a LOT of Olympic medals. You must have been the golden girl of the US team. You must have been famous.”

Vivienne wondered for a moment as she looked at Alex if she vaguely remembered her face and her name from the champion she had been. Vivienne might not have followed sports, but she wasn’t immune to the news and social media.

“Something like that,” Alex said. “It wasn’t for me.”

“So that is why you ran away to the mountains?”

“Not quite that simple. I had a girlfriend- Sasha Rogers- you might know that name.”

Vivienne raised her eyebrows. That name, she did know. Sasha Rogers- elegant, beautiful, immaculately dressed, was on every reality show there was.

“Sasha and I met when she was a young Skier on the US team. She was obsessed with fame, even then. She was well into social media and wanted to make us the golden couple. I couldn’t do it. Being recognized and photographed everywhere I go isn’t for me. And, she changed. Fame changed her. And one day, I realized I didn’t like her anymore. I didn’t like the life she had made for us.”

Vivienne nodded. Alex’s secrets were unravelling bit by bit.

The tea was strong and slightly bitter, but Vivienne savored its warmth as it traveled through her. The silence between them wasn’t awkward; it was full and alive with a thousand unspoken things. Her fingers traced the rim of the mug absently as her thoughts wandered.

“How’d you manage this?” she asked, gesturing to the pine bough on the mantel.

Alex shrugged, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. "Found it during one of my firewood runs. Thought it might help us feel a little less stranded, I guess. "

Vivienne’s heart swelled with affection. "It’s perfect."

Alex ducked her head, fiddling with the edge of the table, and Vivienne realized just how rare that bashful look was on her. She wanted to see more of it.

The table between them now held something else—two small packages, neither wrapped in the traditional sense but unmistakably gifts. Vivienne hesitated, her fingers brushing the newspaper-wrapped bundle she’d been hiding since this morning.

“I, uh...made you something,” she said, her voice tentative. She placed the folded package on the table, pushing it gently toward Alex.

Alex raised a brow, clearly caught off guard. "You made me something?"

Vivienne nodded, feeling her cheeks flush. "Don’t get your hopes up too high. It’s, well, you’ll see."

Alex peeled back the folded edge of the paper, her eyes widening as the delicate shape of an origami flower emerged. The folds were precise, though not perfect—a testament to Vivienne’s effort rather than any real skill.

"An origami flower," Alex said, her voice soft with something like wonder.

“It’s silly, I know,” Vivienne rushed, suddenly embarrassed. “I found an old piece of paper in one of the books, and I just?—"

“It’s not silly,” Alex interrupted, her fingers tracing the edge of the flower with care. She looked up, and there was something unguarded in her expression that made Vivienne’s breath catch. "Thank you."

Vivienne swallowed hard, brushing hair back from her face. “Your turn,” she said, nodding toward the small object in Alex’s hand.

Alex chuckled, holding out what appeared to be a piece of carved wood. The shape was rough but unmistakable: a small bird in flight, its wings spread wide. "It’s not much. Just something I carved when I couldn’t sleep."

Vivienne took the bird, her fingertips running over the grain of the wood. It was simple, yes, but also beautiful in its imperfection. She imagined Alex working on it by firelight, her hands shaping something so delicate from a piece of kindling .

“It’s perfect,” Vivienne whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “Thank you.”

Their eyes met, and for a moment, the weight of the storm, the uncertainty of what lay beyond this cabin, all of it melted away. In its place was something fragile, a connection that neither had expected but couldn’t deny.

Vivienne smiled, feeling warmth spread through her chest. “Merry Christmas, Alex.”

Alex’s lips curved in that rare, breathtaking smile. "Merry Christmas, Vivi.”

Vivienne’s eyes sparkled, and she smiled at the nickname, something special only Alex called her. They stayed like that in the moment, the glow of the candles and the quiet of the storm wrapping around them like a promise.

As the night wore on, the fire crackled softly, its light gilding the simple pine bough draped over the mantel. The storm outside had gentled into a low, sporadic whisper, as if even winter was reluctant to disturb the quiet warmth of the cabin. The table was set once more, the remains of their earlier teamwork now transformed into a modest but inviting dinner: golden slices of roasted potato, a small portion of pan-seared trout that Alex had in her freezer, and a shared mug of spiced cider.

Vivienne smoothed her napkin over her lap, acutely aware of Alex’s presence across from her. They ate in companionable silence at first, the glow of the candles casting flickering shadows over their faces. The simplicity of it all—the shared meal, the pine-scented air, the hush of the snow outside—felt oddly sacred.

“So,” Vivienne began, breaking the quiet. She felt the weight of Alex’s gaze, steady and patient. “Do you ever think about what happens after this?”

Alex paused abruptly, her fork suspended mid-air before she set it down. Her shoulders tensed almost imperceptibly, a ripple of hesitation moving through her. “After what?” she asked, though her voice suggested she already knew the answer.

Vivienne gestured vaguely toward the window. “After the storm. After we go back to…wherever it is we came from. ”

Alex leaned back in her chair, her expression suddenly guarded. The shadows carved sharper angles into her face, softening only at the edges. “I haven’t thought that far ahead,” she admitted. “I guess I never do.”

Vivienne tilted her head, studying her. “That surprises me.”

Alex huffed a short, dry laugh. “Why?”

“You’re so methodical. Practical. I assumed you’d have a plan for everything.” She offered a small, teasing smile, hoping to lighten the tension. “You probably even had a plan for how to survive if I’d been useless.”

Alex’s lips twitched, not quite forming into a smile. “Not useless,” she said softly, her gaze dropping to her plate. “Just…untested.”

Vivienne felt a strange pang at the word, both a recognition of its truth and a silent rejection of it. She let the moment stretch, their quiet breaths filling the space between them, before daring to press further.

“And now?” she asked. Her voice was gentler now, almost hesitant. “Do you still think of me that way? Untested.”

Alex’s eyes flicked up to meet hers, their depths unreadable. For a moment, it seemed she might deflect again, but then she exhaled, the weight of her thoughts spilling into the space between them.

“No,” she said. Her voice was low, almost a whisper, but firm. “I don’t.”

Vivienne felt her chest tighten, not with anxiety but with a tender ache. She leaned forward slightly, resting her elbows on the table.

“Can I ask you something else?” she said.

Alex gave a small nod, her expression open but wary.

“What do you want for yourself?” Vivienne’s words were soft, almost tentative. “Not just what you think you’re supposed to do or what you need to get by. But what you really want.”

Alex seemed taken aback, her brow furrowing as she stared down at her plate. She rubbed the back of her neck and let out a slow breath.

“I don’t know,” she said eventually. Her tone wasn’t dismissive; it was honest, tinged with the faintest thread of regret. “I’ve spent so long just…getting through. Surviving. Wanting something more feels”—she pa used, searching for the right word—“risky.”

Vivienne nodded, understanding all too well. She wrapped her hands around her mug of cider, letting its warmth seep into her palms as she weighed her next words carefully.

“Risky how?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Alex looked up, her eyes steady in a way that made Vivienne’s breath hitch. “Because if you let yourself want something,” Alex said slowly, “you have to be ready to lose it.”

The honesty of the statement, the quiet resignation behind it, struck something deep in Vivienne. She looked away for a moment, blinking against the sudden hot sting of tears. When she turned back, her voice was steadier, though her heart was anything but.

“I know what you mean,” she said. “For a long time, I didn’t let myself want much either. I thought if I could just be perfect, if I could keep everything under control, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much when I lost it.”

Alex’s gaze softened, a flicker of understanding passing between them. “Did it work?” she asked quietly.

Vivienne shook her head, a wry smile tugging at her lips. “Not even a little.”

They both laughed, the sound low and intimate in the small space. For the first time that evening, the weight of their fears seemed to lift, leaving only the quiet warmth of their shared presence.

“Maybe it’s not about avoiding the hurt,” Alex said after a moment, her voice thoughtful. “Maybe it’s about finding something worth the risk.” Alex looked up at her, catching her eyes. “Or someone.”

Vivienne looked at her, studying her face, the flickering candlelight catching in her eyes. The words settled in her chest like a seed, fragile but full of possibility.

“Maybe,” she said softly. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, she allowed herself to hope.

The fire burned low, its embers casting a dim orange glow over the room. Outside, the storm had calmed to a gentle snowfall, the howling wind now a distant memory. The cabin was quiet, save for the crackle of the logs and the soft creak of the wooden floor as Alex stepped hesitantly toward the bed.

Vivienne sat on the edge of the mattress, the quilt bunched at her side. She’d been waiting, watching Alex with a mixture of anticipation and unease. She replayed their earlier conversation, looking for clues. She could see it in Alex’s posture that she, too, was deep in thought, the slight tension in her shoulders, the way her hands lingered by her sides as though unsure where they belonged.

“Alex,” Vivienne said softly, breaking the silence. Her voice carried no demand, only an invitation. She reached out, her hand hovering in the space between them, waiting.

Alex’s eyes flicked to hers, the firelight reflecting in their depths. She hesitated for a moment longer, then stepped forward, taking Vivienne’s hand. Alex’s fingers were rough but warm, their touch grounding.

“You don’t have to,” Alex murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Vivienne said, her thumb brushing over the back of Alex’s hand. “But I want to. ”

The simplicity of the admission seemed to disarm Alex, her shoulders softening as she allowed Vivienne to guide her closer. Vivienne rose to her feet, her fingers still tangled with Alex’s, and stepped into the space between them, closing the gap. The warmth of Alex’s body was a comfort, steady and real, and Vivienne leaned into it, letting herself be enveloped in the moment.

“This isn’t just…” Alex began, her voice faltering.

“I know,” Vivienne whispered again, cutting her off gently. She cupped Alex’s face in her hands, her touch light but deliberate, coaxing Alex to meet her gaze. “It’s not just that for me either.”

The weight of her words hung in the air between them, and for a moment, Vivienne worried she’d said too much. But then Alex leaned forward, resting her forehead against Vivienne’s, her breath warm against her cheek.

“Okay,” Alex said, the word a quiet surrender.

Vivienne smiled, relief and possibility blooming in her chest. She tilted her head, her lips brushing against Alex’s in a kiss that started soft but deepened quickly, the tension between them finally breaking. Alex’s hands found Vivienne’s waist, pulling her closer, and Vivienne melted into her, her fingers tangling in Alex’s hair.

When they broke apart, both of them were breathing heavily. Alex’s eyes searched Vivienne’s, her expression unguarded in a way Vivienne hadn’t seen before.

“Come to bed with me,” Vivienne invited.

Alex nodded, her hand trailing down to find Vivienne’s again, and allowed herself to be led, her usual confidence replaced by something softer, more vulnerable. They climbed into the bed together, the quilt pulled up around them, cocooning them in shared warmth.

For a moment, they simply lay there, facing each other in the flickering candlelight. Vivienne’s eyes danced across Alex’s face, as if trying to memorize every detail, and she reached out, her fingers brushing over the scar on Alex’s cheek.

“Does this still hurt?”

“Not anymore,” Alex said, her voice rough but tender. “Not like it used to.”

Vivienne nodded, her hand sliding down to rest in the middle of Alex’s chest, feeling the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. “Good,” she said. “You don’t deserve to carry pain forever.”

She felt, more than heard, Alex’s breath catch, her eyes narrowing as though she were about to respond, but Vivienne didn’t give her the chance. She leaned in, pressing her lips to Alex’s again, this time with more urgency. Alex responded in kind, her hands finding Vivienne’s back, her touch strong but careful.

Vivienne shifted, taking the lead and surprising herself. She guided Alex’s hands to her waist, encouraging her touch, and Alex obeyed, her usual dominance melting into trust.

She could tell Alex wasn’t used to this—not being in charge. Alex’s movements were more hesitant, as if unsure of what to do.

Vivienne leaned in to kiss her then looked in her eyes. “Can I?” She motioned to take off Alex’s shirt, and Alex nodded slowly, lifting up her back to let Vivienne remove the shirt.

Vivienne pulled it over Alex’s head and gently put it on the floor by the bed, along with her own shirt.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Vivienne said before she could stop herself.

Alex stayed quiet for a few beats before she whispers a quick “thank you,” clearly not used to the affection.

Vivienne leaned down to kiss her, but before she could sink deeper into the kiss, Alex rolled her over so she was on the bottom now. Alex deepened the kiss, and Vivienne could feel all the passion they’d been holding back.

Vivienne ran her hand down Alex’s body, feeling all her curves. She reached Alex’s waistband, and tested the waters by letting her fingers dip a little beyond the waistband. When she didn’t feel any resistance from Alex, she maneuvered her hands to unbutton her pants, letting it stay open. She decided to let Alex decide how far she was willing to go, but Vivienne didn’t have to wait long because Alex wriggled out of her pants, leaving her just in her panties.

Vivienne responded in kind, shimmying out of her own pants and kicking them to the floor. She didn’t feel as exposed as she had expected. None of the same fervor from the last couple times were there, and all that was left was a deep desire from each of them.

Vivienne reached up, pulling Alex on top of her, feeling her weight press down on her. Alex rolled to the side, surprising Vivienne, and they lay side by side again, facing each other.

Before Vivienne had time to think, Alex closed the gap between them and kissed her, drawing her body closer until they were flush against each other. Vivienne could feel Alex’s hands slide down the side of her body, over her waist, along her hips, down her leg, tracing her silhouette. Vivienne inhaled deeply, trying to commit the touch to memory as she instinctively pressed closer against Alex, even though there wasn’t any room between them.

Alex’s hand made their way back up her leg and made a diagonal line before her fingers stopped right at her entrance.

Silently, Vivienne beckoned Alex to continue by rubbing herself against Alex’s hand and put her own hand behind Alex’s back.

Alex must have understood because she slipped two fingers inside Vivienne, causing her to gasp with pleasure. Vivienne dug her nails into Alex’s back, leaving crescent moon-shaped imprints in her skin.

“Oh yes,” Vivienne sighed.

She could feel Alex’s gaze on her, but it wasn’t the harsh hungry stare Vivienne had gotten used to. It was softer, almost…loving. She shook her head to dismiss the thought. It wasn’t like that between them, right?

She tried to distract her mind and be fully in the present, and she ran her hand over Alex’s full breasts down her stomach, stopping just before she reached Alex’s dark golden pubic hair.

Vivienne fluttered her eyes open and looked at Alex, who simply kissed her and moved her body so her pussy was directly on top of Vivienne’s waiting fingers. Vivienne tentatively slipped one finger inside Alex, feeling the warmth and wetness of her desire, before slipping in a second finger.

She felt Alex relax just slightly, her body not as rigid anymore.

They stayed like that, facing each other, their fingers working in circles against each other’s clit, their folds, and inside each other. Vivienne could feel Alex’s warmth pool around her hand, and she relished the sensation. She wanted to make Alex unravel just as much as she had unraveled her so many times now.

She moved her fingers inside Alex, finding the soft spot with zero problem, her fingers instinctively knowing exactly where to press to make Alex’s back arch in pleasure. A deep moan escaped Alex’s lips, and Vivienne continued her pace, making sure to stay consistent.

Alex’s fingers stilled inside Vivienne only for a few seconds before they found their rhythm again, matching Vivienne’s.

“Lay down flat on your back,” Vivienne instructed, and though Alex hesitated only slightly, she obliged.

Vivienne got on her knees then slid on her stomach, positioning herself between Alex’s thighs. “I want to taste you.”

She watched as a shadow flickered across Alex’s eyes before she lowered her head and ran her tongue down Alex’s folds. They were already soaked, and she relished Alex’s musky taste that reminded her of woodsmoke. Alex moaned, her voice husky with desire, and Vivienne could feel all her muscles loosening, letting in Vivienne.

Vivienne hummed against Alex’s clit, letting the vibrations travel through her entire body. Vivienne looked up through her eyelashes to watch as Alex’s chest rose and fell with her hums. She flicked Alex’s clit softly with her tongue and felt as Alex’s body shuddered with pleasure, then lightly sucked on the tip of her clit, causing Alex to let out a deep moan.

“Just like that,” she said, her voice cracking.

Alex wrapped her strong legs around Vivienne’s body, drawing her face even closer until her nose was buried in Alex’s soft pubic hair. Vivienne inhaled Alex’s scent, her own clit throbbing, and she moaned against Alex’s skin.

Vivienne continued lapping at Alex’s clit, while taking breaks by running her tongue in between her wet folds. She brought up a hand and slipped two fingers inside Alex, arcing her fingers upward to find that soft spot again, and Alex cried out in pleasure.

Alex’s cries only spurred on Vivienne as she pushed her fingers faster and farther inside Alex, feeling the way Alex’s walls tightened around her. Every time Alex’s body responded, Vivienne pressed a kiss on Alex’s clit, making Alex’s body tremble.

Vivienne picked up her pace, fingering Alex harder while sucking on her clit as she reached up with her free arm and playing with Alex’s nipple. Alex could hardly breathe, and her breath came out in ragged gasps and half-moans that were swallowed by another moan before Vivienne felt Alex’s body shake beneath her. Alex’s legs, still wrapped around her and secured at her ankles, trembled so much Vivienne had a hard time staying in place. She did, though, and kept licking Alex’s clit in circles until she cried out, her orgasm crashing over her in waves.

With a satisfied smile, Vivienne lapped up Alex’s sweet juices before she licked her lips and rested her head on Alex’s chest, her arm draped over her waist. The fire had burned down to embers, the room bathed in the soft golden glow of the remaining candles. Alex’s hand rested on Vivienne’s back, her fingers tracing lazy circles that sent a shiver down her spine .

Vivienne closed her eyes, letting the rhythmic sound of Alex’s heartbeat ground her. But her mind refused to quiet, thoughts swirling in a relentless tide. She’d told herself she wouldn’t let this happen—that she wouldn’t let herself feel this much for someone she might lose. Yet here she was, her chest full to bursting with something she was too afraid to name.

“What are you thinking about?” Alex’s voice was low, tinged with sleep but still curious.

Vivienne hesitated, her fingers brushing idly against Alex’s side. “I don’t know,” she lied.

Alex hummed softly, her hand pausing for a moment before resuming its gentle motion. “Liar,” she whispered, the word carrying no malice, only affection.

Vivienne smiled faintly, but the weight in her chest didn’t lift. She pressed a soft kiss to Alex’s collarbone, then settled back against her, letting the warmth of the moment lull her into stillness. For now, at least, the questions could wait.