Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

" W hat on earth just happened?" Martin muttered to himself as he watched Susanna race away from him.

He was taken aback and a little amused that she could end things so sharply when they were going so well. He had never felt that way kissing someone before, and truth be told, it overwhelmed him. He had not wanted the kiss to end, he had been so thrilled he would have happily thrown all of Society's rules out the window to be with that woman, because she really excited him. He wanted to know how she would really feel.

Perhaps this was not something she had ever experienced before. It was unlikely, since she was a lady who had her life guided by Society's rules and expectations, but she was still wild and carefree. She most certainly craved him as much as he did her, he could tell by the passion of the kiss. But she had stopped herself just in time.

It was exactly as he suspected. Their chemistry was phenomenal. He could not get enough of it.

It had to be Susanna who pulled away because there was not a chance in hell he would have been able to do it.

Martin sighed to himself and followed Susanna out of the closet and out of the room as well. It was not until he had neared his bedchambers that he realized he had forgotten the gun and the letter.

He had left them behind in Edwin's room. He had been undecided about what he should do about everything, but his distraction had made the choice for him. There was no way that he could go back and collect those items. He had already risked everything, he could not do it again.

Especially because Edwin was in and out of the house. He was not committed enough to clay shooting to remain out there for the rest of the afternoon.

Hopefully, that meant Edwin would not realize that anyone had been in his bedchambers, but that also left Martin and Susanna without any evidence to present to Luke and Mary. They were going to have to find other ways to let them know that they should be worried.

By the time Martin reached his own room, he was not sure how to feel. He did not know if he should be elated by the kiss, especially when it was so thrilling, or deflated because it had been cut short. He was not sure when he would be able to steal another moment alone with Susanna to see how she was feeling, and that frustrated him.

All he wanted was to spend more time with her. To monopolize all of her time, because he thoroughly enjoyed the way it felt to have her eyes on him.

He was growing increasingly addicted to being around Susanna. He did not know how he was supposed to manage his feelings because he had never felt them before.

Martin had been surprised by the news of the surprise ball, but now that he was here, he presumed this was a typical sort of activity in the lead-up to a wedding.

Everyone else seemed to be having the best time, dancing and laughing along with one another, so he was going to have to find it in himself to enjoy his time as well. Even if he was a little on edge after everything that had happened throughout the day.

Truth be told, he could have used the evening to be alone, to organize his feelings, but instead, he had to do this, so he might as well make the best of it.

He caught sight of Susanna, who was dancing with yet another gentleman, and jealousy coiled within him. It was a nasty, snake-like feeling that crept through his veins which he could not stop, however much he wanted to. It did not even help that Susanna looked bored with every man who had dragged her onto the dance floor. He did not want any of them touching her. There was an intensely possessive side of him that wanted to claim her as his own.

He never wanted to claim someone as his own. What on earth was wrong with him?

Before he could dig too deeply into that trail of thought, someone brushed by him, bringing him back to reality with a thump. It was Edwin, which immediately made Martin's hackles rise. Especially when he saw him heading in Mary's direction. It quickly became obvious that he was asking her to dance, and Mary was left with very little choice but to agree. If she refused, then she risked causing a scene, which would not be good for anyone. She would then run the risk of being gossiped about as if she were a rude person.

From what Martin had seen, that was not her personality at all.

As they headed towards the dance floor, with Mary keeping a stoic expression on her face, Martin knew that he could not hold back any longer. He could not be on the sidelines anymore. Without even a moment of hesitation, he strode towards Susanna because there was no one else he wanted to dance with.

"May I have your hand for this dance?" he asked her in a pointed tone, with his hand outstretched towards her.

Susanna initially looked a little unsure, which was understandable because of everything that had occurred earlier. She likely wanted to keep her distance so she could sort through her feelings too, but when he nodded his head towards Mary, and she saw what was happening, she immediately agreed.

"Yes, I would love to dance with you."

It was not until they were on the dance floor themselves that the nerves started to cling to Martin a little. How were they going to handle this?

"What happened?" Susanna asked curiously as Martin rested his hands on her hips.

But Martin could not help but notice that she shivered a little as soon as he touched her, which made his lips quirk up a little. It was good to know that he could still have that effect on her. She most certainly had a very powerful effect on him.

Could she see it though?

He could not tell.

"I just saw Edwin make a beeline for Mary, and she seemed compelled to agree to the dance."

"She will be hating every moment of this," Susanna murmured as the music started to play. "Poor Mary."

The point of this dance was to keep an eye on Edwin, to try and work out what he was up to, but Martin found himself distracted once more. Being this close to Susanna was always going to get his attention, there did not seem to be anything that he could do about that.

Especially after their heated moment in the closet…

"Have you been enjoying the ball?" he asked mildly, but the question sounded a little accusatory as it fell out of his mouth. Like he was back to challenging her.

Susanna stiffened. "I have had an alright time, thank you very much."

Martin cocked his head curiously. "Well, you have not looked like you have been having the best time. I have not seen you smile once."

Susanna narrowed her eyes at him. "Have you been watching me? Looking out for a smile?"

"I am always looking out for your smile. It lights up the whole room."

Martin loved the way this seemed to knock her off kilter. It was clear that Susanna was not quite sure what to make of his flirty remark.

"I… well, I am having a nice time now."

"It is good to know that I am the one you can have fun with."

At least it was not awkward between them. Martin would have hated that. He had grown close to Susanna during their time at Standen Abbey, and not just because they were working together to figure out what Edwin was up to, but because he felt like he could talk to her about absolutely anything. Even, in a very roundabout way, how he was feeling.

He would have hated for their shared moment in the closet, where they threw caution to the wind, to ruin that. Much as he enjoyed kissing her, he did not want to lose their connection in the process. Otherwise, the lead-up to the wedding might drive him crazy.

"Well, I have not yet seen you on the dance floor at all," Susanna commented with a cocked eyebrow. "Why is that?"

Martin chuckled. "So, you have been watching me too. That is very interesting."

He held on to her a little tighter, wishing they did not have any eyes upon them. He would have loved to have pulled her closer to him so he could properly hold her again.

The sensation of this beautiful woman in his arms was utterly intoxicating.

Martin and Susanna swayed to the music, lost in their own little world despite the throngs of people around them. The warmth of her body against his made his heart race, and he fought to keep his thoughts focused.

He had to remember why they were here, the danger that Edwin posed, and the potential fallout of their investigation. But with Susanna so close, it was a difficult task.

Susanna's gaze softened as she looked up at him. "You are avoiding my question. Why have you not danced until now? I am sure that there are plenty of ladies here who would be overjoyed to be in your arms."

Martin sighed, glancing briefly towards Edwin and Mary, who were now entwined in a rather awkward dance. "To be honest, I was trying to keep an eye on things. Make sure nothing out of the ordinary happened."

Susanna nodded, following his gaze. "You mean, keep an eye on Edwin."

"Exactly," Martin replied. "He might not be in the middle of anything nefarious right now, but it is worrying to know what he has in his room."

Susanna's expression turned thoughtful. "We just do not know how dangerous he really is."

They danced in silence for a few moments, both lost in their thoughts. The music was slow and melodic, a perfect milieu for their conversation. Martin found himself studying Susanna's features, the delicate curve of her lips, the way her eyes sparkled under the ballroom lights. He could not help but feel a pang of longing.

"What are we going to do about Edwin?" Susanna asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Martin tightened his grip on her waist. "We keep watching. We gather evidence. And when the time is right, we expose him."

"It will be scary to expose him," Susanna agreed. "But I know you are right. It is what we have to do."

The music began to swell, signaling the end of the dance. Martin reluctantly loosened his grip on Susanna, but it seemed that she was not done yet.

"Oh, look." All of a sudden, Susanna turned her attention back to her sister and her unwelcome dance partner. "It looks like Edwin is trying to say something serious to Mary, but she is not impressed. What do you think it could be?"

It was hard to worry about the words coming out of Edwin's mouth when they knew he had a gun hidden in his closet. He could cause far more damage with that, which was something they needed to avoid at all costs.

Martin scanned the room to try and see if Luke was watching his bride-to-be too, so he could bring this up to him later, but unfortunately, Luke was deep in a conversation of his own. He was laughing with the hosts of the ball over drinks.

What am I going to do? How can I make Luke see Edwin for who he really is?

Would Luke turn on his cousin? Would he refuse to hear what Martin had to say because Edwin was family?

"If I was not so repulsed by him, I would hope that Edwin would ask me for a dance too…"

"No," Martin snapped, before he could even think about the words flying out of his mouth.

Susanna stared at him in horror. "Only to see what he would say to me…"

But Martin was still shaking his head. "I would not want that man to get anywhere near you."

"Why not?" she half-whispered back. It was almost as if she knew the answer but needed to hear him say it out loud.

The only problem was that Martin did not think he had the courage to actually tell her out loud where his heart lay. As soon as he said something like that, he risked everything, especially the walls that he had put up around himself.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, Martin was not entirely sure how to view this.

The music came to an end. In the eyes of polite Society, that meant they needed to separate so as not to raise suspicion about their closeness.

The last thing that Martin wanted was to be the center of a gossip storm because then, words would get to his mother. Then she would really pressure him and Susanna to do something that was only meant to be a bit of fun.

After all, once Luke and Mary got married, it was unlikely that they would ever see one another again. Their paths had never crossed before, and there was no real reason that they should cross again.

A thought that caused him to feel actual pain in his chest.

Martin released Susanna's hand as the music faded, stepping back with a mix of reluctance and necessity. He watched her face, searching for any sign of understanding, of shared feeling, but her expression was unreadable. Polite Society demanded their separation, but his heart yearned to stay close to her.

I do not want him to touch you, Martin thought hopelessly as she walked away from him, thinking the words that he could not say aloud. Because right now, even if I do not have the right to feel this way, I feel like you are mine…

But of course, he would never say those words out loud, so he returned sadly to the refreshments table, determined to stay there for the rest of the night. He did not want to dance with anyone else, there was no point.

After having Susanna in his arms, no one else would feel as good.

He would do much better as a wallflower, keeping an eye on Edwin at all times to make sure he did nothing to cause alarm.

At least for tonight anyway…