Chapter 18

The Truth At Last

Alexander stared at Rose, his heart twisting as he saw the seal in her hands. Her eyes were wide with fear, and she took a step away from him.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked, his voice soft.

"It was an accident. I was lost in thought. My head was full of…" Rose trailed off, blushing. "I am so sorry."

He thought he would be angry, yet he was not. He looked at the portrait of his father behind her. As usual, his father smiled at him, those warm brown eyes tugging at his heart.

"I shall leave." Rose made to put the seal back in the gold box as Alexander walked into the room.

He carefully took the seal from her, his fingers brushing against hers. "This was my father's. The seal of our house."

Rose said nothing for a moment. "It is the most ornate seal I have ever seen."

He felt a lump form in his throat. "He commissioned it the day he married my mother. He said that he would have a seal that not only carried the symbol of our house but showed his love for her."

Absently, he turned the seal over in his hands. He had scarcely used the thing, instead using one with a wooden handle and a more plain head. He had claimed it was a matter of practicality, but the truth was that his father's seal reminded him of that night.

"This seal…" Alexander murmured, staring at the thing in his hand. "That something so small caused my family such suffering."

Rose placed a hand on his arm. "What do you mean?"

Alexander looked at her as the pain and sadness flooded through him. His eyes met hers. That citrusy scent washed over him. The warmth of her hand on his arm sent shivers through his body.

"You do not have to tell me, not if you do not wish to." Rose's voice was soft, full of understanding. "Yet, I would like to understand."

For a moment, he considered brushing her aside. Refusing to answer her. He glanced at the portrait of his father, then back at the woman before him.

I cannot keep this from her.

"I worry that you will think less of me." The words slipped past his lips before he could stop them.

Gently, Rose touched his face. "I will not. I could not think less of you when I can see the pain this causes you."

How can you say that when you do not know the truth of who I really am?

Alexander swallowed. "This seal is why my father was killed eight years ago."

Rose stiffened, but she didn't pull her hand away. "What happened?"

"I woke up to the sound of yelling. I was not in the Duke's rooms at that time, but I was not far from them." Alexander closed his eyes, remembering the horror that had filled him as he emerged into the dark hall.

"As I emerged into the hall, two men ran past me. One knocked me to the ground. I only saw one of their faces, yet it still haunts me. The man had one green eye and one blue. His lips were so thin that it was as if they were not there. He had three missing teeth, and dark, greasy hair. My father found me a moment later. He said that there were intruders in the castle. He asked which way the two men had gone, and I told him. He told me that they had stolen our seal and who knew what else."

Rose nodded. "If the seal fell into the wrong hands, it would cause great harm. The seal would legitimize any order that would be within a duke's power to grant, including the gifting of money and land."

"With the seal, someone could claim almost anything, and there would be no question. They could claim my protection, my wealth, my lands." Alexander clenched his fists in agitation.

Rose shuddered. "Do you think that is why they broke into the castle?"

Alexander shook his head. "They stole it in its box. I suspect they saw the gold and simply thought it was a valuable trinket. They could not have known how important the thing they stole was. They took some jewels and other such things that night. If it was just the seal they were looking for, they would have been more circumspect. For it is one small thing that they could steal and then make a retreat."

Rose looked thoughtful but didn't say anything.

"It matters little why they took the thing, just that they did. And we needed to get it back." Alexander sighed. "I wanted to go with him, but he told me my duty was to keep our family safe. He handed me a sword—the same sword I brought with me last night." He could hear the steadiness of his father's voice. "He left me. And before I could follow, I heard Olivia scream."

Rose's hand tightened on his arm, but she did not interrupt him.

"I ran to her room and yanked the door open." In his mind's eye, Alexander saw the hulking figure of the intruder stalking towards his sister.

"I was not as strong as I am now, nor did I have my father's skill with a blade. All I could see was a man twice my size moving towards my sister. I yelled and lashed out with the blade. He turned, parrying my blow with ease. I swung again, but I was off-balance. He punched me, then brought his blade down on my face."

He rubbed the scar on his face. "He laughed as I fell to the ground. Yet, I still held my sword. The pain was unbearable. The world was spinning, but I needed to keep Olivia safe. I forced myself to my feet. The man had turned his back to me by then. I felt a rage fill me, unlike anything I have ever known. I could barely see. All I could hear was the fear in Olivia's voice and the laughter of the man before me. I threw myself at him blindly. I had no other thought than to keep him away from my sister."

The sound of a man's scream filled his ears. He could smell the metallic scent of blood. Taste it in his mouth. The way his sword had sunk into the man's back. The slick, wet sound of it as he drove it in further. The desire to hurt the man all over again filled Alexander.

I wanted him to die.

"Everything faded. When I woke up, there was a dead man beside me. My sword was covered in his blood. Olivia was crying out, begging me to wake up." He shook his head. "I was still full of so much anger, so much fury that he tried to hurt her. All I could think was that I needed to keep her from harm."

"You did. You kept her safe. Who knows what harm would have come to her if you had not been there?" Rose's voice was full of gentleness and pain.

"Yet, I failed my father." Alexander pulled away from her, unable to bear his shame. "Because of my weakness, he was killed. He went after the thieves and retrieved the seal, but was wounded in the process. I found him hours later, dead by the side of the road. He had been trying to come home."

"Oh, Alexander." Rose moved towards him but did not close the distance between them.

"If I had not collapsed, if I had been a more competent fighter, I would have found him sooner. I could have brought him home or helped him fight." Alexander's voice broke, and he dug his nails into the palms of his hands. "My weakness… it killed my father."

There was a moment of silence. Alexander heard footsteps, and a moment later, he felt Rose's hands on his face. They were warm and gentle, her fingers gently tilting his face towards hers.

"Your father's death was not your fault." Her eyes met his, full of kindness and compassion.

"But if I had been there—" Alexander began, but she shook her head.

"You were not yet a fully grown man. You did as your father asked. If it were not for you, who knows what would have happened to your sister." Her eyes filled with tears. "The blame for his death lies with the people who wounded him. Those are the men who killed him. Not you."

"And yet both men escaped. And it was my father who paid the ultimate price." Alexander held her gaze. "And when people said I was a murderer, I knew they were right. The constable did not charge me with any such thing, for the man was an intruder in our home. But that does not change the fact that I took another man's life. I wanted him to die."

Rose's eyes were hard. "You did your duty, and your father would have been proud of you."

"Do you think so?" Alexander's voice was bitter. "I do not think so. That night, I became a monster, so consumed by rage and fear that I killed another man. Stabbed him in the back like some coward. And he marked me as the beast that I am. A reminder of my own failure and cruelty."

Rose brushed a finger across his scar. "Is that what you think this is?"

He did not flinch away from her as she traced her fingers across the thin line on his face. His eyes met hers.

"What else could it be?" His voice was hoarse.

"It is just a scar," Rose said simply. "And you are a man. A brave and caring man who did all he could to keep his family safe."

Her face was so close to his that he could feel her breath on his skin. Her lips parted. His eyes met hers, searching for the disgust he was sure she must be feeling.

Why is she not fleeing from me?

"Rose…" Alexander murmured, his hands cupping her face.

Her name seemed to fill the air between them, a warm embrace that washed away the horrors that clung to his mind.

"Alexander." She was so close that her words seemed to brush against his skin.

Her voice was barely above a whisper, but she said his name as though it were a precious thing that she was determined to keep safe.

The sound of his name on her lips broke something inside of him.

He closed the infinitesimal distance between them. His lips met her own, warm and soft. And as they kissed, the ghosts of the past that had seemed to fill the room only moments before vanished.