Chapter 36

CHAPTER 36

“ W here are you taking me?” Louise demanded as Christian led her down endless corridors. “This is not even your house.”

“I am taking you where people cannot hear us,” he muttered darkly.

Louise worried her lip with her teeth as he chose a door to his right and pushed it open, before dragging her inside.

He closed the door and turned to face her, the dark determination on his face making her heart race. He had clearly woken up and thrown on any clothes he could find. His shirt was open, revealing a bit of his chest to her hungry eyes, and his hair was loose and falling about his face.

“Would you care to explain yourself?” he growled.

She raised an eyebrow. “Explain myself? For what?”

He advanced on her menacingly, his fists clenching and unclenching. “For leaving the house in the early hours of the morning to creep across London alone without so much as a note to explain your absence?” he thundered.

“And what would you have done if I had told you? This is my family—they are my responsibility.”

“I could have at least accompanied you, Louise. You have no idea how dangerous the streets can be for a woman.”

“I waited until it was light,” she said dismissively.

“And why did you not wake me up?” he hissed.

Louise rolled her eyes. “I was trying to protect you from the machinations of my family. I wished to learn from my father what he had done.”

“You did not believe that it was him?” Christian sneered.

Louise glowered at him furiously. “Forgive me for not dismissing my father as a madman without good reason. That stable boy could have easily been mistaken—you yourself must have enemies.”

Christian threw up his hands in agitation and turned away from her. But as he did so, he was distracted by his reflection in the large mirror above the fireplace. He balked at it and began to adjust his clothing.

“Look at me. I am a disgrace. I have been forced to leave my house before dawn to chase my wife, who went on a mission so idiotic that it is beyond comprehension!”

“Idiotic?” Louise snapped. “I was ensuring that my mother was well, and she was not!”

Christian paused as he tweaked his shirt cuffs, his expression morphing into one of contrition.

“I am sorry he treated your mother so despicably.” He glanced at her curiously. “Has it happened before?”

“Yes,” she spat. “It was one of the main reasons why I did not wish to marry.”

His sharp eyes flicked to her again, his mouth twisting into a snarl.

“I did not wish to leave her, Christian. Not everything revolves around you.”

Despite the gravity of their conversation, Louise felt a hint of amusement as he stuck his hands in his pockets and pulled out a cravat from one of them, before walking to the mirror and tying it around his neck.

“I look like a vagrant,” he muttered as he smoothed its folds, before twisting it into a Mail Coach knot.

Louise watched him struggle with it for as long as she could bear it before she walked to him and turned him around. She pulled the cloth tight and brought the ends to the front. She crossed them over one another and then tied them in a final knot, before stepping back and raising an eyebrow at him.

Christian turned to the mirror and poked at his cravat. “Wherever did you learn to tie these?”

“Marcus has the same trouble with them,” she replied.

His eyes instantly hardened. “Did you have any suspicion of what had happened between Marcus and your mother?” he asked, watching her in the mirror.

“None, I told you.”

“Are you upset?”

Louise glared at him, her irritation and anger rising to a fever pitch as he fidgeted on the spot. “And why should I be upset? My mother is happy for the first time in her life—that it is a wonderful thing.”

“But it is a betrayal, is it not?”

“Christian, I will not have this conversation with you again.”

“You are telling me that you feel nothing after learning that Marcus has been conducting a secret affair with your mother all this time? I do not believe it.”

“You may believe whatever you wish,” she retorted, “it will make no difference. What does it matter what my feelings are on the subject?”

“I know you must care, Louise. It is?—”

“The only thing I care about is that the man I love seems determined to push me into the arms of his brother!”

Very slowly, Christian turned away from the mirror, his mouth hanging open in amazement. Louise glared at him furiously, her gut churning at her admission.

“I know that you do not feel the same. This was never supposed to be a love match, and God knows you have made your opinion on the matter clear.”

Christian’s eyes snapped to her, a look of confusion crossing his face.

“I know that all you ever wanted was a marriage of convenience,” Louise continued, “and now you got everything you needed from it. Marcus is home, he is safe, and you have avenged yourself against my father. You have no more use for me, and I would rather remain here, where I can be conten?—”

Christian stepped forward, pulled her to him, and kissed her. Louise gasped against his mouth. She fought him, trying to push him off her, but his arms encircled her, holding her tightly to him.

He moved his tongue against hers in a wicked spiral as she gasped again, and his hands gripped her wrists, tugging them behind her and bending her backward as he ravaged her mouth.

He pressed himself against her desperately until, finally, he pulled back, his eyes glinting as she panted for breath.

“It seems that you know so many things, Duchess,” he said, keeping her hands pinned behind her back.

“Do not mock me,” she huffed as she attempted to wrench her wrists free. Christian tightened his grip in response.

“How have I mocked you?” he asked.

“You may be content with pleasure for pleasure’s sake, but I am not.”

Christian’s heart clenched at the anger in her voice. Her eyes held a deep pain that he wanted to wipe away forever.

Slowly, he released her wrists, but then he pulled her against him so she could not escape. Her hands came up to push against his forearms, trying to force him to release her.

“I love you, too,” he confessed softly.

Louise all but froze before she scoffed. “You are a fool if you expect me to believe that. I have watched you walk away from me many times. Every moment we spent together that required care or commitment, you have shunned as though it were?—”

“Louise, listen to me!”

She recoiled at his exasperated tone, and he sighed heavily.

“I confess I did not recognize my feelings before,” he said, loosening his grip and letting his hands move down her arms until he interlocked their fingers. “Not until I thought I might have lost you forever.”

He felt the same fear rise inside him as he imagined being without her.

How did I ever believe that I could keep her at arm’s length? I have been desperate to claim her as my own since the very beginning.

“My father’s actions destroyed his first wife. He humiliated her beyond bearing when my mother gave birth to me and Marcus. I was still a boy, but I could tell how much it hurt her to see us. When she fell ill, I remember thinking how cruel it all was. How love had destroyed something that should have been genuine and made it into something sordid. Then, love did the same thing to my mother and us. Of course, no one dared to say anything to my father when he decided to marry her, when he did everything in his power to acknowledge us, but oh, people loved to talk to us. Do you know how many times people have offended my mother and she just took it with a smile, all because of love? How many times I had to protect Marcus from other children in ways I shouldn’t have if my parents hadn’t fallen in love ? And yet neither my mother nor my father seemed to care what the ton thought of them. I didn’t understand how they could be like that.”

He shook his head, sighing as Louise looked up at him quizzically.

“I did not want a wife. I always knew that if I married, it would be, as you say, for convenience. And I made a bet with your father because I was half mad with worry for Marcus. I was desperate to know what had befallen him, and you were simply a pawn in a larger game. But that changed.”

Louise took a small step back from him, furrowing her brow. “You told me right from the beginning that you would never love me.”

Christian huffed a laugh as he nodded. “Yes, I did say that—a stupid, blind fool to the last. I told a woman that I would never love her, even as I was beginning to do so. In truth, from the moment I stood before the Ice Queen and demanded that she marry me, I believe I have been fighting these feelings to no avail.”

Louise still did not seem convinced, and his heart ached for everything he had done to her.

I have pushed her away at every turn. It is no wonder that she does not believe me.

“I am a selfish man, Louise. At first, I believed my obsession with you was merely a wish to claim you. And then, as things progressed, I saw how attentive you were and how kind. The damned kitten was a testament to that. I began to see the woman I married instead of the prize.”

He tucked a loose lock of her hair behind her ear as she shivered in his arms, and he smiled softly.

“You do not need to believe me today or even tomorrow. I shall spend the rest of my life convincing you that you are who I have always needed. I cannot imagine my life without you. I love you, Louise, with all my heart, and everything we do, from this point onward, we will do together.”

For a long time, Louise did not speak, the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece and the gentle crackle of the fire the only sound in the room. Her eyes were glistening with tears, and she sniffed, trying to prevent them from falling.

“You are not merely pleased to have tamed the Iron Harridan?” she asked, the bitterness in her voice palpable.

Christian drew her to him. “I do not need to tame her,” he murmured. “She was quite perfect just the way she was,” he said tenderly. “But if you ever think of leaving me again, I will not hesitate to punish you.”

Her breath caught in her throat as he slowly lowered his head, giving her the chance to pull away. She watched him warily but finally closed her eyes as their lips met in a passionate kiss.

They remained at Northbridge Manor for some time as they all had tea together, the burden of the Earl’s presence visibly lifting off the Countess’s shoulders.

Louise felt off balance and unsure of everything, but Christian remained at her side for the rest of the day, attentive and caring to a fault. Indeed, he was rarely more than a few feet from her.

Marcus, for his part, was an entirely changed man. The distance and stiffness in his posture had melted away. He laughed easily and seemed hugely relieved that Christian had accepted his relationship with the Countess.

“Where will you go?” Christian asked eventually.

The weather outside had improved greatly, and bright sunshine streamed through the windows.

“I thought about the house in Buckinghamshire. It is small compared to the one in Derbyshire and not too far from London. I would not wish for Althea to be too far from Louise.”

Christian saw Louise smile at Marcus gratefully, but for the first time, he did not feel jealous.

There truly is nothing between them. What a blind fool I have been.

“I think that would be an excellent idea,” Christian agreed.

“You would not mind?” Marcus asked worriedly. “I know that it will be splattered all over the gossip sheets soon.”

Christian waved a hand. “Society has never accepted us fully, Marcus. We have been traveling upstream all our lives and still prevailed in the end. I would rather my brother were happy and content than placating that nest of vipers. My wife and I will weather the storm when it comes.”

Lady Northbridge bowed her head. “You are too kind, Your Grace.”

Christian shrugged a shoulder. “I am simply sorry you have already weathered your own, My Lady. This townhouse will always be available to you should you ever return to London. It is in my possession and will remain so.”

Lady Northbridge and Marcus glanced at one another happily, and Christian felt lighter than he had in an age.

“You should take Jack with you,” Louise said softly.

Marcus turned to her, placing his teacup on the saucer before him with a surprised look. “What? No, I could not possibly do that.”

“He prefers you to me and finds peace with you. The city is no place for a kitten to grow. Moreover, you have always wanted a pet, Mama,” Louise said gently as her mother attempted to mask her excitement about the idea.

“But would you not miss him, dearest?” Lady Northbridge asked.

“I would,” Louise confessed. “But I would rather he had a large estate to scamper around, and there are so many carriages here that he might injure himself if he ventures outside. Besides,” she added mischievously, glancing at Marcus, “it will give me a reason to visit.”

Christian laughed, as did Marcus, and the lightness he felt bloomed into something new and bright and clear as he looked at his wife.

She is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, and she is all mine.