23. Klaus

23

KLAUS

Klaus felt like shit. He understood why Kelli never wanted to see him again—hell, he wished he never had to see himself again. But there he was, every morning when he looked in the 3- D viewer. Just a sad, washed-up male who was going to die alone because he had foolishly made a vow ten years ago. A vow he now regretted, but couldn’t break.

It was the week before Christmas and the entire Mother Ship was decorated for the human holiday. During past Christmases all he had been able to think about was his time with Miranda and how he missed her. But now it was Kelli that he missed. He wished he could see her sunny smile just one more time or hear her bubbly laugh.

That wasn’t going to happen though. As soon as he finished landing the ship, he’d gone to Commander Sylvan and asked for a reassignment. His boss had seemed confused and asked if the time he and Kelli had spent at the Christmas Village hadn’t gone well.

“ That’s a fucking understatement,” Klaus had growled. “ They didn’t care about Christmas —they just wanted to see if they could make us fuck. Which they didn’t,” he added, grimly.

Commander Sylvan , a Blood Kindred with spiky blond hair and ice-blue eyes, had looked shocked.

“ I’m so sorry, Commander Klaus ! I had no idea the Questarions would try something like that. They seemed so benevolent and kind.”

“ Yeah , well…they weren’t.” Klaus shook his head. “ I’m afraid our time there pretty much ruined our professional relationship, though. So I’m requesting that you assign a new Protector to Kelli .”

Asking that nearly killed him—a part of him was still insisting that Kelli was his! His to protect, to care for, to love. But Klaus pushed it away. He could never have her—not the way he wanted her. And it was too painful to be close to the curvy little human now that they’d pushed past the boundaries of a professional relationship and into something much more personal. Now that they’d entered territory that never should have been explored.

“ I understand.” Commander Sylvan nodded. “ May I ask though, why did you and Kelli decide not to pursue a relationship? Forgive me— I know it’s personal. I just always thought that the two of you eventually might Bond . You’re both single and there seemed to be a spark?—”

“ I made a Sacred Vow ,” Klaus cut him off. “ After my wife died ten years ago.” He shook his head. “ I can’t break it. Not even for Kelli .”

Sylvan nodded thoughtfully.

“ I see. A Sacred Vow is serious.”

“ It’s fucking unbreakable,” Klaus growled. “ So you can see why I need you to reassign Kelli . I can’t…” He shook his head. “ Can’t be around her anymore, commander. It’s too fucking painful.”

“ I understand.” Sylvan sounded sympathetic. “ And I’ll be willing to reassign her—but not until after Christmas . There’s too much happening right now to find her another Protector . But don’t worry, I won’t send her out on another assignment until I find someone new to watch over her,” he added, clearly seeing that Klaus was going to object that she couldn’t go out on her own.

“ All right, fine.” Klaus rose from his seat and nodded. “ Thank you—as long as you assign someone good. Kelli is…” he cleared his throat. “ She’s special. She deserves the best.”

“ I’m sure she does.” Sylvan rose as well from behind his desk. He offered his arm and Klaus took it in a warrior’s clasp, gripping the other male’s forearm firmly as Sylvan gripped his. Then he turned to go. But before he left the office, Sylvan called him back.

“ Yes , Commander ?” he asked, turning his head.

“ Might I suggest that you visit the Sacred Grove ?” his boss suggested. “ You might receive some clarity about the vow you took if you did.”

Klaus shook his head.

“ I don’t think so. Once you take a Sacred Vow , you can’t undo it.”

“ I thought that too,” Sylvan told him. “ I also took a vow,” he added, when Klaus gave him a surprised look. “ One I thought was unbreakable. But the Goddess sometimes has different plans for us. Just go to the Sacred Grove . You might learn something new.”

Klaus nodded, but he had no intention of visiting the Sacred Grove —a place he’d been avoiding ever since Miranda died. He had gone there daily to pray for her recovery after she fell ill and then once more after she passed to take his vow.

After that, he had turned his back on the Goddess and everything she stood for. She had taken his wife and his mate from him—clearly she didn’t care for him. But he still stubbornly kept the vow. Even if the Goddess wasn’t faithful, he was, he told himself.

So he avoided the Sacred Grove …until one night about a week after coming back from the Christmas Village . He had come down to the center of the ship to walk in the parklands that served as a recreation area for the Mother Ship . They surrounded the Sacred Grove , which was a miniature forest filled with green and purple trees that were dedicated to the service of the Goddess .

It was twilight. The green artificial sun that powered the ship was dimming overhead and there were couples walking hand-in-hand. This time of year, the temperature in the parklands was lowered to simulate winter and there were even a few snowflakes blowing past from a snow generator that had been set up to help add authenticity to the season.

Christmas decorations of red and green and gold were everywhere and Klaus thought that he had never felt more lonely—not even on that first Christmas after Miranda had died. He looked down at his boots, wandering aimlessly through the inch of snow that had settled on the green and purple grass, until suddenly he saw a pair of bare feet right in front of him.

Klaus looked up in surprise and saw a priestess standing there. With her green-within-green eyes and her long blonde hair, streaked with green, blowing in the wind, she looked otherworldly. She was wearing full white robes and despite her bare feet, she didn’t seem bothered by the cold at all.

“ Warrior ,” she said. “ Come —there is one who would speak with you.”

Klaus opened his mouth to protest…and found he couldn’t. There was something stopping him from speaking…or from disobeying the priestess. Though he had promised himself never to enter the Sacred Grove again, he found that he was following her into it.

They only paused once, at the very first fringes of the green and purple trees.

“ Remove your boots, warrior. We are treading on holy ground,” the priestess said to him.

Wordlessly , Klaus bent and removed his boots. He left them in the snow and followed her into the shadows of the trees.

Onward she walked, down a path that wound through the tall trees with their purple bark and green and purple leaves. Klaus didn’t know where they were going until they came to a clearing and he saw a tall statue looming over them…the statue of the Goddess .

At last the priestess spoke.

“ I will leave you here, Warrior . Be still and wait for that which will come.”

She glided silently into the trees, leaving him to stand before the statue, wondering what in the Seven Hells he was supposed to do. The grass was cold under his feet and the statue’s face was beautiful but remote. The last time he’d been here was ten years ago, when he’d made his vow. A vow so filled with bitterness and anger that it grew like a hedge of thorns around his heart, thicker and stronger every year until it seemed impossible to ever break it…

“ You are thinking of the vow you made,” a warm feminine voice spoke from somewhere above him.

Looking up, Klaus realized it was coming from the statue—its face had come to life and it was staring down at him!

“ Goddess ?” he croaked, barely able to get the word out.

“ Yes , I am she—the Mother of All Life ,” the statue said. It was almost too beautiful to look at, though Klaus knew he would never be able to describe it in a million years. The Goddess’s beauty was that of every woman that had ever lived—it defied description.

“ Goddess ,” he said again. “ I …” But he couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell her what he needed to say.

“ I see what is in your heart, Warrior ,” the statue said to him. “ I know when you made your vow to me it was made from sorrow and hate.”

“ You took Miranda from me!” Klaus accused her, his voice raised in agony. “ Of course I was angry—and yes, I hated you!”

The Goddess didn’t seem upset by his admission. The statue’s features remained beautiful and calm.

“ I did not take your wife, Warrior —it was simply her time to go. Much that you cannot understand will be revealed when the veil is lifted. But for now, know that I grieved with you when she passed to the other side. I knew of your sorrow and I shared it.”

The statue’s eyes were suddenly filled with tears and Klaus watched in surprise as they dripped down the Goddess’s marble cheeks.

“ I didn’t know,” he said hoarsely. “ I … I hated you.”

“ As you hated yourself. You vowed never to love again, and now that love has found you, you feel you must push it away and refuse it,” the Goddess said.

“ Yes !” Klaus nodded. “ Because I made the vow and I can never take it back!”

“ Your vow was one of hatred… I release you from it and I command you to replace it with love.”

As the Goddess spoke, Klaus felt a change happening all around him. Though it had been freezing cold a moment ago, a warm wind started blowing. It swirled around him smelling of sunshine and blooming flowers—the scents of spring and life and new growth.

“ Goddess ,” he said hoarsely. “ Do you mean it? Are you serious?”

“ There is one who would love you, if only you will let her,” the Goddess said. “ A woman I set aside, just for you. Go to her, Warrior . Beg her forgiveness.”

“ I want to love again,” Klaus admitted. “ But … I’m afraid, Goddess . What if…what if Kelli dies, too? What if she leaves me, like Miranda did?”

“ If she will give you another chance, I swear to you Warrior , that both your lives will be long and happy,” the Goddess told him. “ This is my gift to you, for the sorrow you bore these last ten years. Now go—make things right and remember to honor her always.”

Then , as suddenly as she had come, the Goddess was gone. Klaus stared at the statue’s face, but it was only marble again—still and unmoving. The Mother of All Life was no longer there with him in the Sacred Grove .

He blinked his eyes, feeling like a male waking from a dream. Had he imagined all that? Had some kind of vivid hallucination?

But no…the trees surrounding the statue were covered in flowers and they hadn’t been before. They were blooming as though it was spring—sending a delicate fragrance into the air from their hundreds of big, white blossoms.

Klaus stepped up to the trees and began gathering flowers.

He didn’t want to go see Kelli empty-handed. He just hoped that she would be willing to talk to him and let him explain.