Chapter 13

Devin lay in great swathes of softness, all of it flat and stale. Deep down, she knew two males scented the fabric. The first allowing the second in a moment of distress, his evil paleness becoming a constant in the shuddering glimpses of this unfamiliar landscape of bruised hues.

Maybe it was just night.

She’d lost the pattern of the days long ago. Didn’t care for the time. Devin existed in a hazy space between awareness and dreams, shunning both until everything went gray around the edges, her thoughts thick as cold molasses. Existing was good enough for now. Each span of time she failed to acknowledge led her closer to the moment where even that wouldn’t matter anymore.

She knew she’d done something. What it was, how she’d managed it, was beyond the swampy muck dragging at her.

“Just swallow, baby. Come on, you can do that at least.”

Devin tried to turn her head, but they were ready for that. Had she done it before? She couldn’t remember, didn’t want to. Beseeching brown eyes came close, his grip on her chin tightening to keep her still. The violent resonance they pushed into her body was nothing, an angry buzz that did little more than make her brain itch.

“No, no. Don’t do that again, sweetheart,” the one above her murmured as the pale beast behind her pinned down her arms. Stopping Devin before she could add to the garish pattern of gouges marking her chest, her face.

She didn’t remember those, either.

Throat refusing to work, no matter how they massaged it, or how loud they made that bone shuddering sound, the liquid spilled from slack lips as soon as he poured it.

“Devin, sweetheart, please. You have to drink the water.”

No, she didn’t. Pinching her nose shut, clamping her mouth closed, they tried to give her no other choice. Devin had figured out months ago that there was always another choice. Once it’d been at the mercy of a dull letter opener, a piece of ceramic or glass. Though the memories were muddled, she knew the path they’d led her towards.

This wasn’t new. These two had ignored it all. Saw only what they wanted to.

Devin coughed. Sputtered when the thin liquid went down the wrong way as she tried to take a breath. Could one drown from a mouthful of water?

A string of curses followed her as she was flung forward to dangle over the edge of the bed. Devin retched, stomach heaving as it tried to expel even the taste of minerals and cold steel.

She closed her eyes, the haze descending to cosset her in murky drifts.

Opening them, the endless blue of a summer sky appeared, mirrored in two orbs.

“I’ll promise you anything if you’ll just eat for him, baby,” Beau murmured with a stroke of his knuckles against her cheek. “You’re killing him.”

That hadn’t been the intent, but hadn’t he told her the other would survive, given the proper motivation? A glimpse of reddened lips, of red-gold stubble against the rich ochre of Rey’s body. Yes, he could provide that in spades.

“You’ve got no right,” he whispered, nose traversing the side of her neck with a long inhale. “You don’t get to make me want you this bad and then fade away.”

Devin drifted again.

“Is she really going to lie there and waste away because I refuse to put her in danger?”

The dull roar brought her back. A slow blink cleared the fog enough for her to focus with bleary eyes on the two males. Rey paced the room, his shirt a rumpled mess, the too long length of his hair standing up at odd angles.

“Come on, Daniel. Was it really just that?”

“Why are you even still here,” Rey bellowed, shoving Beau across the room to slam into a wall.

“Because you damn near begged me to! At least she didn’t scream every time I touched her that first week.”

First week? Devin turned her eyes to the ceiling, her brows attempting to drift down. How long could a body go without food or water? Had they succeeded at times, and now she just didn’t remember them? The questions disrupted the bleakness. Tried to haul her back into the world.

Devin let the heavy weight of her lashes meet, pulling the thick cloud around her. It didn’t matter.

“Dev, honey, open your eyes for me.”

Devin blinked. It felt like it had been mere moments, but Ashley was there. The smoky darkness of the males banished to the other side of the door. She imagined she could feel them, some new power to track the heat of their bodies through walls and desolation.

“Hey,” Ash murmured, one corner of her lips straining upwards.

A dark cloud drifted through Ashley’s gaze as she leaned close to bump noses, though she was careful not to touch any other part of Devin.

“No.” It was the rasp of death dragged over gravel. Devin didn’t recognize it as her own voice, but knew her lips formed the single syllable. Felt the deep cracks in her lips split, threatening an endless abyss of agony if she concentrated too hard on the shimmering pain in Ash’s eyes.

“I could still do it, Dev,” Ashley whispered on a sighing breath.

“No.”

“Don’t let that bastard do this to you. Let me help.”

“I did this.”

Ashley fell back, gaze bright with something beyond her tears. Eyes widening as she swept them over Devin’s wasted body, her friend recoiled.

It welled from somewhere deep inside of her. A dark, horrible place full of rage and agony. The scream was feral, the ragged edges of her nails scraping over broken flesh to rip it out. She tore at her hair, pulling the limp strands free. Trying to gain her feet, to run, to get away from the horrific wail building at the base of her skull.

She didn’t want to feel. Hated them all the more for doing this to her. There’d been a strange sense of solace in the blighted space where her soul once thrived.

Bruising hands caught her. Pinned her down to downy softness with murmured words of calm. Calloused fingers bit deep, keeping her in the ruined shamble of a nest. Held her there with the infuriating buzzing sensation as her heart slammed against her ribs. Until the darkness stole her away.

When Devin next opened her eyes, Ashley was gone. Rey was beside her in the bed, Beau nowhere to be seen.

“Come here, sweetheart,” Rey whispered against her temple.

Caught in the iron bands of his embrace, she had no choice. Never had one to begin with. Devin struggled to close her eyes, to bring the empty nothingness back, but he kept speaking. His words drove deep into her brain, disrupting the darkness.

“I love you, hear me?” His quiet sigh scattered over her shoulder, his fingers tracing the puckered edge of his claiming bite. “Knew you were dangerous the moment you came into that damn office, before you even got on your knees for me. Fuck, sweetheart, if you only understood how much I need you.”

Devin’s breath rattled around her chest, escaping her cracked lips in a faint wheeze. A length of clear tubing swung up from the bed to a plastic bag, a piece of tape hiding the needle puncturing her arm. A vague memory of the pain as it punched through her skin tried to surface, but she razed it to the salted earth of her nothingness.

“Still do,” Rey murmured as he stroked her wan cheek, turning her to face him. “I need you, Devin. I need you and love you.”

“You love the idea of me.”

Devin blinked, uncertainty pulling at her brows. Had she said it aloud? The widening of Rey’s eyes said she had. She hadn’t meant to, but sometimes it was so hard to figure out what was happening with a body she’d once been so attuned to.

“No, sweetheart. Not…” He trailed off on a sigh, pressing their forehead together so that his lips hovered above hers. Breathing her in, pouring his breath into her lungs. “Not now, not anymore.”

The haze was clearing, thoughts stumbling through the gray mire to string his words into something she could comprehend. She didn’t understand what he meant.

“They don’t explain this any better to us,” Rey said with a self-deprecating chuckle. “We bite you during a heat, claim our intent. You bend to our will. That’s it.”

“No excuse.” Her eyes stung, gritty and swollen as she blinked hard.

“I did what I thought best.”

He still wasn’t listening. Wetness slid down her cheek, but she was already turning away, reaching for the infinite gray to envelope her.

“I fucked up, Devin.”

Desperation made his eyes gleam in the uncertain light, blackened wells that filled with emotion. For once, he didn’t withdraw them before she could discern their meaning. He offered an unfettered view of all that he felt. Spurred on by the way she focused on him, Rey cupped her cheeks.

“I fucked up, and I want to fix it. I’ll do anything, just tell me how to fix it.”

Devin’s eyebrows bounced once, her faint attempt at humor lost on Rey as he curled around her with frantic touches to her face. Worried she was pulling away again, terrified she wouldn’t come back this time. She didn’t need the bond to tell her that and more.

He showed it to her. Baring it all.

“This,” Devin whispered. “More.”

“I love you. I would burn the whole fucking world down for you.”

Nose wrinkling, her fingers found the edge of his jaw. Tracing the coarse hair that covered it. She hadn’t noticed he hadn’t been shaving, but there lay the proof. Devin thought she might like it.

“Say that you understand, sweetheart. Tell me you love—”

“Quiet.” Devin sighed as she made the monumental effort to curl her fingers around his neck, tugging him in agonizing fits that left her breathless and covered in a fine sheen of cold sweat.

Rey must have gotten the hint, because he curled around her body, tucking her close to his heat though there was an awkward moment of figuring out the IV drip. Surrounded by his body, she caught the faint scent of rich darkness. A hint of something spicy teased at her senses, but it was soft enough to ignore for now.

Closing her eyes, Devin found true sleep.

* * *

She’d slept for what felt like forever, waking to a whole new realm. No longer bleak, the gray haze roiled at the edges of her perception. Waiting, watching, its greedy maw at the ready to devour her. Still, she’d woken warm, a strange sense of contentment pervading her as she found Rey tangled all around her. Scent heady and thick, it coated the back of her throat with vicious promises and whispered curses.

Now she was awake, wanted to be rid of the bed and the nothingness that had held her prisoner.

Whether a final decision not to die in such a horrible way or from Rey’s moment of bald openness, Devin rose when her dreams gave her up. Well, demanded to be taken to the bathroom. His shock palpable, Rey had helped her to her feet. Remained at her side despite all of her snarling for her to hold on to as she tried to make her way the few feet from the bed.

“Stop clucking,” Devin hissed, though she maintained her white knuckled grip on Rey’s arm as he led her to the bathroom. She squinted at the glare spilling from the open door and panted as she shuffled forward another meager step. This was taking her forever, and she needed to pee.

“Carry,” Devin ground out the single word demand, going limp the moment Rey’s arms swept her up. She grumbled the entire time he hovered over her, though he had to prop her up at the sink to wash her hands once she’d finished.

The bath already waited for her. Despite wanting a moment alone, she knew she couldn’t insist. Not when she was so weak her head lolled on the loose column of her neck. Settling into the crackling bubbles with Rey at her back keeping her afloat, Devin breathed a sigh of true relief.

Now she had to figure out what the ever-loving hell she was doing.

The bond lay dead and silent, a greasy pile of ash within her chest. She’d destroyed it with complete abandon, and she wasn’t certain how to feel about that. Even more confusing was the fact neither of them was dead. No Omega survived the loss of the bond. Everyone knew that.

Yet here Devin was, slapping Rey’s hand away and snatching the washcloth from him to scrub away the sick sweat. She gave up almost as soon as she began when she started panting with the effort.

“You need to take it easy, sweetheart,” Rey murmured as he bathed her shoulders.

“Don’t… tell me… what to… do…”

“Yes, I will. You’ve been nearly comatose for over a month, Devin.” A low growl edged his words, though the movements of the washcloth remained smooth, gentle. “I’ll admit I was wrong, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you hurt yourself.”

“A… month?”

“Almost two,” Beau said as he breezed in, presenting a cascade of bright yellow tulips with a flourish.

“What the fuck are those?”

“Flowers, Rey. For our convalescing invalid.”

“I am not an invalid,” Devin huffed between slow breaths. Turning to stare hard at the heavy drifts of bubbles, she swallowed the thick lump lodged in her throat.

“What’s wrong,” Rey demanded in a snarl, hauling Devin through the water to send it sloshing over the sides of the tub. Seating her across his thighs, he brought her face up, his thumb wiping away the fat beads of moisture overflowing her lashes. “Are you in pain?”

“N-No.”

“Devin, tell me what—”

“No one’s ever brought me flowers,” Devin whispered. It was a ridiculous thing to be moved by, especially considering who had brought them. She was still so raw, every sensation too much to bear. Devin curled over the painful swell of emotion. Shoulders shaking with suppressed tears, she tried to escape by turning to the glossy tiles once more.

“Good thing I didn’t get that box of chocolates then, eh,” Beau said as he went to his knees beside the tub, heedless of the puddle soaking into his crisp blue trousers. “What would you have done for those, baby? I can run out and get them.”

“Back off,” Rey growled, petting at Devin’s hair to guide her against his chest. “You’re upsetting her, and she needs to calm down so she can eat.”

While Rey spoke, Beau thumbed the button of his cuff open, rolling up his sleeve before pushing his arm deep into the bubbles, retrieving the washcloth. “Maybe a teddy bear then. You lot like that sort of shit, don’t you?”

“Beau, don’t be stupid—”

“I like caramels,” Devin said with a light sniffle, swiping at her cheeks. How strange that Beau’s attention didn’t frighten her, despite the lazy heat lingering in the endless blue of his eyes.

He was paying attention, though. Listening to her. Devin swore she saw the wheels of his mind working behind that pale gaze, a mental checklist being formed. For his own ends. Always to get what he wanted, but it mattered. Enough that Devin swayed, leaning towards the powerful musk of spicy cinnamon. Tears drying, they left her eyes red rimmed and ravenous.

“Those might be a little much just now, but I got that chicken soup you like,” Beau husked, sending the washcloth towards Devin’s arm to pick up where Rey had left off.

“Fuck. Off.” Rey snarled, snatching the towel from Beau. He slapped it against Devin’s chest, covering what little of her the bubbles didn’t hide from Beau’s hungering gaze. “Stay in your lane.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Beau chuckled, adding a wink for Devin before he rose, stretching with his arms raised high.

He was posturing, Devin realized. Showing his body to the best effect as the brilliant white of his shirt clung to thick muscles. Legs spread just enough to show her the breadth of his thighs, hips pulled forward to give a hint of the bulge lying in wait beneath the zipper. The thick length growing larger as Devin stared, swelling beneath her attention.

Flinching at the aggressive thunder, Devin clenched her teeth over a scream as Rey jerked her around. Sending more of the frothy bubbles cresting over the side of the tub as he forced her to straddle him. Grinding her spread lips against him, he fisted the length of her hair. Tugging at the ragged strands to try to catch her gaze, though Devin kept her eyes averted.

Beau left with a quiet scoff, the door clicking shut with a finality that disturbed Devin. Realizing she didn’t want to be alone with Rey, she placed her palms against his chest and pushed.

Nothing changed.

“You are my mate,” Rey ground out, kneading her ass to rock her against the fullness he thought to punish her with.

“Maybe I am,” Devin murmured. Shoulders twitching in a shrug, she set the thought aside to dissect later. Swinging her gaze up to meet his, feeling every scrap of warmth draining away as the gray nothingness beckoned, she arched a single dark brow. “Funny that the one who wanted to break me is the one doing that shit, huh?”

No matter how hard she tried, the desolation wouldn’t encompass her. It teased over her, sucking the heat from her bones, but it wouldn’t drag her into its cold, dead arms. She’d made her decision, and now she would see it through. It didn’t mean she had to remain present. Feeling none of his strained caresses, for once her body didn’t betray her. Devin remained dry and slack as he tried to lure out some response.

The water began to cool before Rey stopped his advances, though he was no more willing to admit defeat. He washed Devin with thorough hands, taking an inordinate amount of time to work the shampoo and conditioner through her long hair.

“Maybe you should grovel,” Devin said on a sigh as Rey lifted her from the staticky hiss of bubbles to rinse her off.

That brought him up short. Shoulders damn near vibrating beneath her fingers, his grip tightened over the hard shelf of her hips before he continued working the towel over Devin’s body.

“For what exactly?”

“You said you fucked up, that you would do anything—”

“And I did.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Let me remind you then.”

Before Devin could discern his meaning, Rey had her in his arms. Wrapped around his torso, he gripped her ass, grinding her against his length before bouncing her against it with his long strides to the bed.

“What are—” Breath leaving her in a rush as her back met the bed, Devin couldn’t even drag in the much-needed air before his body covered her.

The deep vibration of his growl wasn’t an annoying buzz any longer. Rich and dark, it sluiced through her in a licentious rush. Pussy growing wet at his demanding call, Devin shook her head. Disbelief waged a vicious war within her against the rising tide of liquid heat.

This wasn’t the way this was supposed to work.

“Not so easy to be rid of me, sweetheart,” Rey rasped against her neck, prying Devin’s legs apart, though they trembled with the strain to stay closed. Settling in the cradle of her thighs, he slid the heavy threat of his cock through slick folds. Nudging her clit with every slow glide, his teeth flashed in bitter victory at the horror swimming through her eyes.

“No,” Devin keened as she slammed her fists against his shoulders. Doing nothing more than irritating him before Rey caught her wrists and pinned them high above her head. “Please don’t—”

“You came alive under my touch,” he snarled, gripping her breast hard, fingertips digging deep into the loose flesh. “Begged me for it, crying your pretty little tears.”

“No.” Dragging the word out into a wail, Devin’s head thrashed against the pillow. Refusing to believe him, though she felt the truth of it in the very conviction of his words.

“Yes, sweetheart. You whispered your desperate pleas and words of longing against my skin, smeared them in my blood.” Rey caught her with a fistful of soggy curls at the back of her head, drawing her to the savage bites at his shoulder. The scarred patch of flesh was raw, opened with the fresh marks of her teeth.

Despite her struggles, Devin’s mouth opened as he rubbed her lips against the ravaged skin. His low rumble urged her on. The violence of his growl praised her as Devin let her teeth close over the mangled flesh.

“That’s right, sweetheart,” he said through a cruel twist of his lips, nipping at her shoulder.

Only then did she realize the fresh pain there. Didn’t understand how she hadn’t noticed it before. Devin didn’t care the moment his blood flowed over her tongue in a molten wash, the flat iron taste of it rich with smoke and darkness.

“You are mine,” he hissed before his teeth punched through flesh and muscle with a sickening crunch. Driving so deep that Devin screamed, though she mimicked the action.

He was hers, the evil voice whispered within her thoughts. No other could have him.

Her heart slammed against the back of her ribs before tumbling into a rhythm far too powerful for her body to contain. The furious beat of an enraged Alpha battering her thoughts into sticky sweet languor. He was inside her, all around her. There was no escape.

Devin groaned and bit down hard.

“Mine,” Rey husked as he lapped at the fresh flow of blood trickling down the curve of her collarbone.

Growling deep in her throat, she fisted the length of his hair. Dragging him back to the throbbing ache, shoving his mouth against it until his teeth caught hold. Silencing all but the greedy, hungry sounds they made. It was something more than sex, though he slid deep inside of her. Grinding against the helpless bucking of her hips, he held her against the crimson spotted sheets. Controlled her violence as he plucked the frail thread of the bond. Made it swell and glow within her.

She was his.

Devin could fight as hard as she wanted, but nothing would change that.