Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I leap to my feet and start running before I can really get traction. Gravel crackles under my boots, but the sound seems infinitely far away. As I round the RV, I see Lou scurrying across the street to the other side.

She climbed out of the passenger door window!

Something inside me goes completely nuts.

"Louisa!" Her name comes out of me like thunder. "Stop! Immediately! Lou !"

My field of vision begins to flicker and the trees at the edge of the forest blur into confused green patterns.

I jump toward her with a few long leaps. Lou staggers, recovers, and I can't stop in time. I smash into her with the full force of my body and the ground rushes toward us. My cheekbone slams into the back of her head, pain pulsing like an electric shock up my chin, and a bloodcurdling scream fills the air.

I barely realize I'm lying on top of her, pinning her to the ground with the weight of my body. My heart is pounding like a drum in my ears.

You have her. Everything is okay!

But in my head, a storm is raging, pushing that thought aside.

"What did I tell you!? What?" I yell at her. She is lying on her stomach. I raise up a bit above her, squeeze her arms with my knees against her flanks, and grab her neck. Hard. Way too hard.

She doesn't answer, just breathes in small, hectic gasps.

"I said no escaping!" I jerk her head up, gripping her neck tightly with my fingers. "I said no leaving me. Don't! Leave! Me!"

Stop, Brendan, stop! Immediately!

But I can't. I hear her gasp, feel her arms press against my knees, and squeeze my legs even tighter against her sides. I don't care if it hurts her. She wanted to run away! I told her not to try! I can hardly think. Red lightning flashes around me, and suddenly, I feel sick.

So dark, so dark … The childlike voice rises in me like a dead man from his tomb. Mom, where are you?

An icy shiver runs down my spine. I know I'm going to have an episode, it's like I can taste its harbingers in the air. Decay and moisture. In a panic, I release Lou's neck and pull her to her feet. I have no idea how much time I have left. I don't know anything at all, just that whatever I'm going to do, it has to be quick. As I drag her back to the RV, I fight my way through the fog. Lou scratches me, kicks my legs, and elbows me in the groin, but I feel nothing, only my hands gripping her like vise clamps. I won't let go of her, I'll never let her go again!

I stop in front of the motorhome. Suddenly, she is still. With a jerk, I turn her to me, crossing my arms across her chest—a position I had used in fights.

"Goddammit, Lou!" I gasp into her neck. "Do you want to get yourself killed?" I need to calm down. The surroundings are growing darker and it's not due to the upcoming storm.

She says something, but I don't hear her. So many words but none of them get through to me.

Blackness flickers before my eyes, the tornado in my head roars faster and faster. I need to get Lou to safety before I'm completely immersed in the blackout. That's the only thing I still understand.

I have to get her to safety . I repeat the sentence like a prayer. In spirit, maybe out loud, I don't know. It just can't slip away from me.

Suddenly, there is a flash of inspiration, a memory. Chains! Handcuffs! I need both. I'm dragging Lou back into the RV. I think I'm talking to her, but it's like a spark in a fire. I frantically tear open a cupboard, sheets of paper fall to the floor. I feel for metal with my fingers. As I feel the cool links of the chains, something comes out of my mouth that sounds like a sigh of relief.

I pull Lou outside after me, hand on her arm. "Safe," I hear myself murmur. I walk along the RV like a sleepwalker finding the destination I didn't know I had.

"Stop…get down on the ground now." I push her down by the shoulder.

"Bren…"

So dark …

"You shouldn't have run…" Mechanically, I grab Lou's wrist and use the loose clamp to snap it to a steel ring on the underbody.

So terribly dark …

"Brendan…"

A veil falls in front of my eyes, I can hardly see anything. "Too late!" I choke out. "Getting darker…it's getting dark…"

Thunder rumbles in the clouds but I feel like it's inside me.

Confused, I look around. I wanted to do something… Lou is very small in front of me, her hands over her head as if to protect her from the rain…

Protection …yes…I run away from her toward the edge of the forest. Again, like in a trance, I find exactly what I'm looking for. A spruce, not too old, not too young, with a strong trunk that will hold me. I loop the chain around it once and click the metal bangles around my wrists, locking them into place.

Secure! Lou is safe!

This sudden realization brings me back to reality for a few seconds.

Did I just smile? I shake my head before I feel sweat running down my back like a flood. "Louisa?" I spot her sitting on the side of the RV, her face as white as it was a few days ago when she felt so bad from the drugs.

She looks at me and presses against the wall of the RV, shaking. I have to tell her, maybe not everything, but at least something to take away her greatest fear. I try with all my might to concentrate on speaking, forcing the words into the right order before I say them.

"Whatever happens, don't be scared, nothing bad can happen to you." With brute force, I jerk at my bonds. "See?" They're holding me! They must hold me!

Her answer is lost in the chaos inside me. I feel something pulling me down, down, toward the boy. Panic surges through my veins. "Everything's dark!" I run toward Lou as if she can hold me so I don't fall. After several feet, a hard tug on the chain stops me and a sharp burning pain runs through my wrists like a butcher's knife.

I hear her voice again, but I don't get the meaning of the words as if she speaks another language.

"Lou!" I can barely see her. I blink frantically against the heavy veil in front of me. "Lou… Promise me something…" I put my hand in my pocket and, with shaky fingers, pull out the key ring. "But first, take this." I hold the key in front of me, hoping she can see it. "You have to take it." Otherwise, the monster can break free and I wouldn't even know it.

"How?" Her voice sounds distant and tinny, but at least I can make out what she's saying.

I reach out as far as I can in the bonds and toss the ring of keys in the direction of her words. "Keep it safe." I vaguely see a bright shape moving forward. Hands grabbing something.

I wipe the dripping sweat from my forehead with my forearm. "Now listen!" The feeling that the ground is going to give way and that I'm going to fall into the darkness grows stronger by the second. "The key only unlocks my handcuffs, not yours. I want you to…hide underneath the RV."

So dark, Mom, where are you? Mom?

The childlike voice comes from all sides. A red mist is suddenly between Lou and me. Step aside!

"What's wrong?" I hear Lou ask.

I breathe against the panic and put my hands on my thighs. "Hide under the RV," I blurt out quickly. "You should…be able to do that with the handcuffs on." Am I already gone? I don't know, but speaking is becoming more and more strenuous, like shouting out of a well. I blink a few times and see Lou shake her head.

"Why should I hide?"

"Just do it! In the morning, you'll throw the key back to me. Understand? Tomorrow morning…not before!"

"Why? Brendan, what's wrong?"

I can't see anymore. A stone-cold horror wells up inside me, reaching for my consciousness like hands from a grave. "It's getting dark," I hear myself saying, "and when it gets dark, death comes."

Step by step, I walk backward away from Lou. "Keep the key safe, otherwise, we'll never get out of here." This occurs to me as the darkness pulls me down to a place my sanity can't access. I fall into an endless deep maelstrom like a black hole in space that swallows everything and leaves nothing. And yet there is more.

Images flash before me in the blackness, disjointed fragments of a kaleidoscope. Lou spinning in place, her hair blowing in the wind, showing sparks of light like a reflection from a thousand mirrors, sunlight refracted forever.

A part of me clings to it, and when I hit the ground with a hard smack, I feel like I'm still there. Inside me.

I straighten up, disturbed. Tree trunks paint themselves in the room without light. Who am I? Where am I? Am I in the forest or in the basement? I want to stretch out my hands, feel, but they no longer obey me, they don't belong to me.

One, two, three, four… I'm not really here anymore …

Someone's there, I'm not alone. Something comes out of me like a ghost.

Stay here!

It's the boy's voice. Suddenly, he's standing before me in his dirty pants and gray shirt. He's skinny like a prisoner of war, his eyes deep-set, revealing nothing. He looks at me, his gaze timeless as if he is not looking at me now but always has been.

You can't come with me , I hear him say without his lips moving. Then, he turns and walks into the darkness.

Wait! I call after him.

He turns to me. You must stay here. His voice is high like a child's but heavy with sadness. It is too dangerous …

And then he's gone…