Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

W hen one takes on the role of a matron in Society, it is very important to always be presentable, and, unfortunately, present.

Theodosia didn’t usually mind being present. In fact, she thrived on attention and gossip. She had been the terror of the ton, as her late husband had jokingly called her during his first attempt at a marriage proposal. On his third attempt, he had finally gotten it correct.

She was playing a particularly risky game at the moment. It was much more difficult than chess, since the moving pieces could not be entirely controlled. Still, she liked the risk. It added excitement to her life.

“Theo?”

Blinking, she turned back to her dearest friends. Twins and widows like herself, Lady Juliet and Lady Jane were her most trusted confidantes, since they all debuted the same year. Their marriages had ended up drastically different. Still, the three women had clung to each other. They knew everything about one another with hardly a secret to spare.

“Oh bother,” Juliet said with a weary, albeit fairly dramatic, sigh. “What is it you have done this time?”

“I have no idea what you speak of,” Theodosia answered her.

Jane glanced between the two of them with a smirk. “Oh, you certainly wish you could still keep secrets from us. No, I know that look. You’re thinking. You’ve got a plan. A game, isn’t it? Another risky one, I bet. I only wonder if it has anything to do with a particular nephew who has returned to London.”

Snapping her fingers, Juliet gave a nod. “That is right! How could I forget? His name is already splattered all over the gossip rags.”

“You did not forget—you were merely biding your time, you old biddy,” Theodosia responded bluntly. “Whether you are right or wrong remains to be seen, Jane. And there will be no answers today. I feel one of my migraines coming on and must lie down.”

Her friends’ mouths dropped open.

“You cannot make us leave without sharing a single secret,” Jane objected. “Juliet, tell her. It’s in the rules of friendship.”

“She’s right.”

“There are no official rules of friendship,” Theodosia huffed.

“Not written ones, surely, but they have remained unchanged for the past fifty or so years,” Juliet added pertly. Then, her eyes narrowed. “Oh, Theodosia. Are you playing matchmaker again?”

Jane beamed. “You are?”

Perhaps it was not always a pleasure to have no secrets between one another.

Theodosia knew she had yet to talk to her friends about some ideas she had begun to put together. She lowered her gaze to her teacup, where the lavender tea was beginning to grow cold.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Juliet was always ready for a lecture. “It is one thing to play matchmaker with your neighbor.”

“It quieted him down, didn’t it?” Theodosia pointed out with a smirk.

Juliet went on all the same. “And it is another to play matchmaker with your family and loved ones. Meddling is a dangerous thing to do.”

“But it’s Theodosia,” Jane reminded her before flashing a smile. She was always up for a challenge. “She’s never wrong.”

The conversation took a turn then, but the words lingered in Theodosia’s mind. She thought of Jane’s comment with a prayer on her tongue as her friends left. Whether or not she was playing matchmaker, Theodosia didn’t particularly think it was anyone else’s concern.

“Auntie!”

Tsk, tsk. The boy has clearly not gotten over his mood.

Turning, she studied her nephew as he strode over to her. His short whip brushed against his thigh. He was wearing his riding habit. Judging by his red cheeks and wind-blown hair, he had had quite an excursion.

But his eyes told another story.

“Now, Adrian,” Theodosia readily reminded him, “you must take care of your health. Walking around in a huff like this cannot be good for your heart. Perhaps it is your humors that are out of balance? I can fetch you leeches.”

“No leeches,” he responded. And then he went on a rant about why helping her goddaughter would be a problem.

She didn’t bother listening to his complaints. A young boy like himself hardly knew anything. He might have seen the world, but she could tell he had seen little of humanity.

Adrian really was a tall man. Tall and handsome, befitting Royalty in her eyes. He had his father’s build, but he had his mother’s features. It teared Theodosia up whenever she thought about him too much—the poor boy was orphaned so soon.

Her heart went out to him even as she braced herself for his attitude.

“Enough,” she said after letting him rant for a minute. “You are too old to have a temper this short and such a childish attitude. Where have your manners gone, Adrian, for you to attack me twice in one day?”

Stepping back, he scowled. He was ready to argue. And yet, he would not keep speaking back to her. No matter how foolish he felt, he wouldn’t continue to disrespect her.

Which is a good thing, because now my head really hurts. The weight of the world seems to sit on my shoulders, and it never gets easier any day.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Theodosia asked when he didn’t answer her.

Heaving a sigh she chose not to berate him for, Adrian took a step back before bowing. “My apologies, dear aunt. You are right. I should not have made such accusations. I do not mean you ill will. It is nothing.”

She sniffed. “Very well, I accept.”

Still, he studied her, watching for signs of weakness. A silly thing, since she had none.

“I had better return to my study. There is much to prepare before I start tutoring Lady Charlotte.”

Theodosia tilted her head up and offered him a bright smile. “Very well. You may prepare her lessons. Unfortunately, she is out for the day.”

“What? Since when?”

“Oh, she left shortly after breaking her fast.” Theodosia paused, thinking she saw something odd in his expression. Was he upset? Embarrassed? But it was hardly a glimmer, so she carried on. “She went to Havenshire, where her cousins live. It’s a half day’s ride, so I expect she’ll return late tonight.”

Adrian huffed in annoyance. “How late?”

Theodosia shrugged. “I don’t know. Or perhaps she’ll return tomorrow. I know how she misses her cousins. What a short visit it would be and a very long journey.”

Shaking his head, Adrian muttered under his breath. He moved to pace for a moment. The way he hung his head and ran his hands through his hair betrayed his frustration.

Theodosia had thought it was mere annoyance, but he really was upset. She couldn’t help but soften.

“Adrian, my boy.” She moved to pat his arm. “What is it?”

“Nothing. I’m sorry, Aunt Theodosia. There is… there is much weighing on my mind. I have been too hasty today, I fear. I’m only… only…”

When he didn’t finish, she patted the spot above his heart. “I’m sorry to hear it, Adrian, but remember that life is filled with blessings as well as challenges. It’s all right for something to go well or to not go well. You’re allowed to care about anything you want. You know that, don’t you?”

“Auntie,” Adrian sighed wearily. “I’m not talking about marriage.”

“I’m not saying that you are. But of course, if you were, then that would be all right as well. You’re a grown man, and yet there is still so much of the world you have yet to learn. There is good in everyone, just like yourself. I think you forget that sometimes.”

“And I think you forget how terrible some people can be,” he added sharply. “My parents may be gone, but I will never forget what he did.”

The cutting remark caught Theodosia by surprise. She stepped back from him, weighing her words more carefully.

What a terrible way to live, to always remember the worst of everyone. If I did that, I would have long since left England. But Adrian cannot forget some things, I suppose. And I cannot truly fault him for that.

“Adrian…” she started but didn’t know how to continue.

What could she say to make him feel better that hadn’t been said a hundred times over?

He shook his head. “Never mind. Nothing had changed, Auntie. I need you to remember that. I will never marry. And I will never, ever be like my father.”

“You were never like him,” Theodosia tried to reassure him. “You’ve always been like your mother. Passionate and caring and…”

She paused when he rolled his eyes. He was a grown man, yes, but he was still a child at heart. When would he learn?

Theodosia swallowed her anger and impatience. “Very well. I will not prepare that list for you. But you shall help Charlotte find a husband. That is all I ask.”

“Fine.” Adrian rubbed his face. One finger lingered on his lips before he shook his head.

Without another word, he stomped off.

His hunched shoulders reminded her of her sister’s husband, and she winced, turning away. She tried to ignore the uncomfortable weight in her stomach. He really was like his mother. He was. But he certainly had the broad shoulders of his father, which could not be helped.

“Your Grace?” a gentle voice sounded at her side.

The butler gently took her elbow and steered her toward a high-back chair nearby. Her knees nearly buckled before she landed on the cushioned seat with a heavy sigh, and she closed her eyes for a moment. When she reopened them, there was a handkerchief in her hand.

“Thank you, Lloyd. You do know how to take care of an old lady,” she murmured before dabbing at her wet eyes.

“Is all well?” Mr. Lloyd asked, standing closer than most butlers would dare.

Forcing a smile, Theodosia nodded. She glanced back toward the hall, but Adrian was long gone. “Do you remember the day he came here? How distraught he was. A young man of sixteen, yet he hardly looked six years of age. Red-eyed and despondent. The orphan Duke. It hurts my heart, Lloyd. He has such a good soul that he squashes down daily. What a fool my nephew is.”

A quiet chuckle escaped the butler, whose gaze never strayed from her for long. Not that she minded. He radiated warmth, from his touch to his gaze to the constant supply of handkerchiefs. She glanced at the old embroidery on the one in her hand before glancing back up at him.

“You don’t have nephews, do you?”

“Thankfully, no. They do seem like a bit of trouble,” he admitted.

She tutted, pulling herself together. “I fear they are. And it would surely be worse for you. You have twice as much heart as I do.”

“Worry not, you are not alone,” he commented with a twinkle in his eyes. “There is more power in the tip of your tongue than any knight’s sword. The British Army would not be able to conquer you.”

Dear me, I am much too old to be blushing like this.

“Now, Lloyd,” Theodosia scolded playfully. “I have talked to you about your dramatic tendencies. We cannot be saying such things. Eventually, someone will wish to put it to the test. I don’t have time for such matters.”

“No need to fear—I would certainly ensure your calendar was full so no one could bother you. As for today, your dressmaker has just arrived. Perhaps we shall brighten the day with two new dresses?”

She beamed. “You do know how to make a duchess feel special. If I didn’t know any better, I would think you’re angling for a promotion. But I’m afraid there’s nowhere higher for you to go.”

That steady gaze of his remained fixed on her for so long that she nearly forgot what they were talking about. Lloyd’s tender blue eyes seared her soul. Her hands crumpled the handkerchief, and she resisted the urge to fan herself.

“We may at least go higher,” he said, at last. “To the next floor, where your dressmaker awaits you. She has not been waiting for long and has been charmed by your new biscuit recipe. All the same, I believe this final dress fitting may be just what you need to brighten your day. Shall we?”

Pulling herself together, Theodosia sniffed. She rose to her feet with her shoulders squared. The butler offered her his arm, and she accepted it so they could go up the stairs together.

Her blush faded shortly after they stepped onto the landing. Thankfully, Mr. Lloyd never mentioned it. He was a brilliant butler and a very good man. He had a way of making her feel young again, reminding her that she could do anything she liked.

And I shall.