Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

“ O h, so you are still alive.”

Adrian hesitated and regretted it at once. She would have heard it, so they both knew he couldn’t keep going without acknowledging her.

What was she doing here? He held back a grimace. He slowed down as he forced himself to turn around, and then made to the doorway of a private parlor where his aunt must have been waiting for him at this late hour.

It took him a moment to approach her, as he needed to remember how to smile.

“My dear aunt. How lovely you look in candlelight. Are you well?”

She huffed, sliding off the bench and leaving her book behind to move closer toward him. Wrapping her shawl tighter around her shoulders, she squinted up at him. There was an extraordinarily large feather in her blue turban that pointed upward, swaying lightly with her movements.

It was nearing midnight. He’d spent all day at his club playing billiards and talking politics. There had been a lot of work recently for a new bill he desired to help pass, and they had wanted a break. And he hadn’t exactly wished to go home.

And yet here I am, thinking I could have retired to bed without being caught.

“I believe the more important question is, how are you?” Theodosia peered up at him. “No one but your valet has seen you in days, Adrian. It feels as though you are traveling once again, sending me letters instead of speaking to me face to face.”

He shifted uncomfortably. “Perhaps I should leave then.”

“Don’t be absurd.” Her tone was sharp, and then she softened. “My dear boy, I know you are a busy man. Everyone desires something from you. But hiding from your family and your fears is not the way to go.”

Confused, Adrian told her, “I’m not hiding from anything. I’m not afraid of anything, Auntie.”

“Then go out with me tomorrow.”

I suppose I walked into that one.

“I’m busy,” he started. “Parliament––”

She shook her head. “Your committee has wrapped everything up. There is nothing on your schedule, Adrian. That club of yours can wait for the evening. Tomorrow afternoon, you’re coming to the races. Horses, do you remember? Now you have no excuse.”

Perhaps, but there had to be something he could use to get out of this. Because if his aunt was there, Charlotte would most likely be there. And if Charlotte was there, then she would most likely flirt with other eligible bachelors.

He couldn’t do that again. If he could manage it, Adrian would never come to London again if Charlotte was here. There was no rhyme or reason for it, but he couldn’t bear to see her in the arms of another. It wasn’t right. He couldn’t just stand there and pretend it didn’t bother him.

“Auntie…”

“I need you there,” Theodosia insisted. “Think about how busy and dusty the races are. I shall need a strong arm at my side to keep me up. My nerves can only handle so much.”

“Your nerves could end the war with France,” he muttered.

She had to work fast to hide a smile. Her lips were still twitching when she tried to force them into a pout. “I am your senior, Adrian, and your last surviving family. It is your responsibility to ensure I remain in good health.”

“If you want a good man on your arm, you could ask Lloyd,” he told her.

Shaking her head, she fiddled with her shawl. “Don’t be ridiculous. I need you there.”

One look at the woman’s face told Adrian that she was determined to have him accompany her. The truth was there, behind her smile. He wouldn’t be able to avoid it. Or avoid her .

He hesitated, thinking on it for a moment.

“Fine,” he relented. “But Charlotte cannot attend. Horse races are too exciting. It’s not a proper place for debutantes.”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous!” she objected. “Charlotte has never been to a race before. This is the perfect opportunity. Besides, her cousins will be there,” she added when he opened his mouth to argue.

Right, because family matters. Blast it, Auntie.

“Fine,” he said curtly. “But I do not intend on being in attendance for your amusement. Only to ensure you don’t fall onto the tracks.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Good night, dear,” she called when he turned to take his leave. “Sleep well, for we have an exciting day ahead of us!”

That wasn’t something Adrian particularly agreed with. But he had agreed to escort his aunt, and he was a man of his word. Whether he liked it or not, he was going to attend a horse race tomorrow.

He retired that evening feeling unsettled, not knowing what might happen next.

It made the following morning difficult. He and Lionel disagreed on what he would wear while he ate food he hardly tasted. Draining a glass of brandy, he found the situation somewhat more manageable, but his valet was shooting him judgmental looks up until he finally left to join Theodosia and Charlotte at the races.

The women had left earlier in their carriage, tempting him not to make an appearance at all. But Lloyd had a curricle ready, and soon Adrian was on his way.

Only the best of the beau monde could attend the Epsom Derby on a fine day as this one. The sport was expensive, fashionable on the verge of being scandalous, and a perfect opportunity to be seen by the best of the best.

He arrived amidst the hustle and bustle of people leaning over for a glimpse of the excitement. His curricle was parked outside, and he walked through the gates only to be welcomed by a flutter of folks providing papers and betting slips. Folks lingered everywhere, as the race itself would not begin for another two or three hours.

As if they are ever on time.

Taking a short look at his pocket watch, Adrian didn’t bother holding back a sigh. He made his way through the crowd with ease, his eyes fixed ahead so he wouldn’t be dragged into unpleasant conversation, on the hunt for his aunt and Charlotte.

It didn’t take him long to find them. Beyond the carts were plentiful colored tents for food and drink. He passed by the people before catching sight of a red and white striped turban he knew at once belonged to his aunt. It was her favorite turban, and probably the ghastliest.

Theodosia stood with a broad grin and drink in hand beside Charlotte, who was visibly nervous as she looked around while fiddling with her shawl and reticule. The two of them stood with three Society matrons who Adrian vaguely recognized. His aunt’s friends, to be certain.

Now I have to suffer those old biddies who gossip about the length of a ribbon and worse? And I have to stand beside Charlotte? God save me.

For a moment, he was tempted to turn the other way. What if he made an excuse for not being here?

The plump matron in yellow noticed him first and beckoned him over. Everyone else turned to look at him. There was no turning back now.

He forced a nod, stretching his legs to make his way over to them. He tried his hardest not to look at Charlotte for more than a second.

“Good day,” he murmured as everyone greeted him. “What a fine day for some scandalous fun, is it not?”

A polite snort escaped his aunt. She waved her fan pertly and rolled her eyes. “How can the young be so old-fashioned? My darling nephew thinks the races are too improper for ladies such as ourselves.”

“How sweet,” teased the woman in yellow. “If only our husbands cared as much.”

“So long as he doesn’t ruin our fun, the devil can take him,” teased the matron dressed in pink. The ladies chortled, and her cheeks reddened as if she had divulged a naughty secret.

Yes, these paragons of Society were nothing short of playful pea hens when they weren’t busy judging everyone else.

“I’ve been planning for today since winter and not even the Prince Regent himself could stop me.”

Leaning in, the one in a shade between that pink and the red of his aunt’s turban said, “He should be here today, but I doubt he will stop you. There is too much gambling to enjoy!”

As the women bantered with each other, Adrian kept the smile on his face but tuned them out. They didn’t need him to say another word now. It allowed him to straighten up, glance around, and then accidentally meet Charlotte’s gaze.

“You’re ignoring me,” she muttered under her breath.

“No, I’m not,” he lied brazenly.

She rolled her eyes. “Only because I’m speaking with you now. We haven’t seen one another in days. Is it only because you find horse racing unseemly for ladies that you wear such a sneer on your face today? Or is it caused by something else?”

“I’m not sneering,” was all Adrian could think to answer.

She shifted impatiently, but those big green eyes stared right into his soul. He couldn’t look away. The rest of the world faded away. Finding himself pulled closer to her, Adrian struggled to steady his breathing. She did something to him that he couldn’t understand and didn’t wish to. All he cared about was that it stopped.

Which meant he had to do whatever it took to bring this to an end.

“You’re being childish,” Charlotte hissed in exasperation. “What has happened? One day you cannot help but try to control who spends a minute of the day with me, the next day you cannot bear to be in my presence. You are not a child in leading strings, Adrian, and I do not have the patience to put up with your mercurial moods.”

Why did the way she said his name make heat crawl up his neck?

“The only childish one here is you. You don’t know how to carry yourself in public or how to manage a flirtation. Any gentleman here could take advantage of you without you realizing it,” he started.

She scoffed. “Oh, is this your way of showing how much you have come to care for me?”

The heat intensified. He could feel it in his cheeks. Those eyes of hers practically glowed as they saw into his soul. He feared then what she was seeing. And worse, what did she think of it?

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You’re right, I’m the ridiculous one,” Charlotte huffed and took a step back.

He stood straighter, not realizing how close they had come. He spotted a few new freckles on her face and counted them as she announced to their group, whom he had forgotten was there. “I beg your pardon, ladies, but I’ve just spotted my cousins and would like to greet them. I’ll return shortly.”

The look she shot him right then promised nothing short of murder, so he found himself left behind. He fumed in silence, watching her go. She’d ended the argument before he had a chance to say his piece.

As his aunt took his arm, he acted as nothing more than a second sturdy cane for her. He kept his mouth shut while he considered a hundred things he might have said to Charlotte.

Watching her go, he saw how she eagerly greeted her cousins. It took him a moment to remember their names. The name Eleanor sounded familiar, though Adrian was confident he had never met her. The young woman didn’t seem to be out in Society, as her dress was rather short. But he recognized the brothers vaguely. The eldest, Roger, was there for only a minute before he took his leave. The younger was Nicholas, a cheerful sport who often dallied around town. He said something that made Charlotte and his sister laugh. Adrian pretended he could hear the sweet sound from this distance.

His anger began to ebb, at last, allowing him to gather his thoughts. He might have been too harsh with Charlotte. Perhaps he owed her an explanation, after all. But to what purpose would that be? What excuse could he even offer her that might make a grain of sense?

I hardly understand this myself. I have Lionel on the verge of quitting and the servants looking at me like I have two heads. When I look in the mirror, I hardly recognize the man I have become.

The next time he looked could have only been a minute. A second, perhaps. But Nicholas was walking away, leaving Charlotte and her cousin unchaperoned , with three other men.

“Pardon me,” Adrian said shortly.

His aunt was fine for all her claims of frailty. She called after him to return soon all the same, as the race was bound to begin and they would need to find a better place to watch it. The race was forgotten as he watched Charlotte’s profile as she smiled at the gentlemen.

His pace quickened. A storm brewed within him, only mollified for a heartbeat when Charlotte caught sight of him. He was near enough by then to see the way her eyes widened.

If only he could understand her expression. Amusement? Bitterness? Hope?

Deciding it didn’t matter, Adrian stepped up between Charlotte and Lord Estonbury, who was one of the three gentlemen who had joined the young ladies. The other two, Lord Carmichael and Mr. Borden, exchanged introductions while Adrian fumbled for something to say.

“How good of you to join us,” Charlotte said. Her smile made it clear that she meant no such thing. “Your Grace, I was just talking to these fine gentlemen about the benefits of riding early in the morning. Refreshing when one can manage it, is it not?”

“Indeed,” Adrian said shortly, though he saw no reason why he should care for this conversation.

“The sense of freedom one has at that moment is unimaginable,” she continued with that stern look in her eyes. “I like a fast horse who makes good use of his legs.”

His gaze roamed down her figure before he caught himself, hastily looking back up to her face. The others listened with polite interest. But here she was, subtly telling him he was chasing after her.

Was that really what he was doing? His lips twitched with more amusement than irritation.

Perhaps that is what I am doing, but someone must manage her.

“I must agree, so long as the horse knows where he is going,” Adrian replied glibly. “Too frequently, a creature is put in a new habitat without knowing where one might run into danger. Dried-up ponds or pretty, useless flowers are hardly enjoyable on a morning ride.”

There was that furrow in her brow. Charlotte stared at him, trying to piece it all together. He began to smile with satisfaction.

It only proves my point. Here she is, playing at the horse races with these men and not knowing what paltry options they are for her. Must I steer her about everywhere? I don’t imagine she could have managed to get herself out the door in the mornings if someone wasn’t there to help her.

“What a jolly conversation,” Lady Estonbury interjected, a bland smile on his face. He glanced at Eleanor, who stared determinedly at the ground, and then back to Charlotte. “I believe the race is about to begin. Perhaps we should go closer to the track for a good place to watch?”

“I believe so,” Adrian replied over Charlotte. He offered her his arm before the other man could, victory swimming warm in his chest. “My aunt will be wondering about your whereabouts by now. We should return you to her side.”

Charlotte accepted his hand but shot him a dark look to indicate she was not happy with his move. “Very well, but we must take my cousin to her chaperone. Eleanor, come along. And Lord Estonbury––”

“We will see you afterward, perhaps,” Adrian spoke over her before steering her away.

Eleanor hastened after her cousin. She was short and struggled to keep pace with them, so Charlotte began tugging on Adrian’s arm.

“What was that?” she hissed. “You were so rude.”

“I was not.”

“You were! Eleanor, wasn’t he?” Charlotte glanced at her cousin, but the young woman paled and could not utter a word.

Using that to his advantage, Adrian said, “See? I was perfectly polite to those men sniffing about your skirts.” The two of them blanched at his words. “Oh, don’t be such pea wits.”

“You’re very rude.” Charlotte withdrew back her hand. “I will not walk with you if you cannot be more polite. Really, Adrian, has the sun gone to your head? You are being disrespectful to me as well as Eleanor while we have done nothing to deserve such ire,” she added sharply.

This was it. He had been craving an argument. The warmth flooded through him, and a sick sense of excitement swirled in his stomach. Adrian opened his mouth, ready to retort, when he caught sight of Eleanor once more.

Poor little chit. She looks ready to toss up her breakfast any moment.

Doubt crept in, and Adrian considered the wisdom of arguing with Charlotte once again. It brought him satisfaction. She aimed to stand up to him with steel that no one else had, not even his aunt. It always brought a warm flush to her cheeks and a twinkle to her eyes. Adrian could hardly take his eyes off her when she glared at him.

It was entertaining, he told himself, even as a small voice in the back of his head asked if that was all. What if there was another reason he kept drawing her attention back to him?

Trying to hold on to whatever conviction he had a moment ago, Adrian cleared his throat. “I beg your pardon, Lady Eleanor. Surely you would not have come today had you known your cousin’s sharp tongue would strike again.” Charlotte seemed to growl. “But I assure you, once I have educated her on what it means to be a fine lady, we will surely find peace again.”

“I would find peace easily if I could knock you out,” Charlotte hissed. She didn’t fight when he took her hand so they might resume walking. He realized with a certain grimness how much he enjoyed having her right there beside him. Fortunately, she didn’t seem to notice. “And those men are perfectly eligible.”

“One of them is not titled,” Adrian pointed out.

“Mr. Borden is one of your friends, is he not? Though he may not be titled, he is well-liked and often included in higher circles,” she argued impatiently.

Still, Adrian shook his head. She deserved better, whether she believed it or not. “And the other two, including your favorite Estonbury, have debts to pay. I do not doubt they are hoping that your dowry will be doubled by my support and my aunt’s.”

“I would never expect such a thing,” Charlotte gasped, shocked.

“But a gentleman might, which means they are nothing but foaming fish in the sea, scrounging about for a pretty penny,” Adrian proclaimed.

She huffed. “I don’t care if you are right or not. You take too much pride in your behavior, Your Grace, and your horrible manners. I cannot believe I ever thought you charming.”

That made him smirk. There was a particular pride that settled in his chest upon hearing that. What else did she think of him, he wondered.

“Don’t worry, Lady Charlotte. I still have my ways. But I cannot reward you when you’re misbehaving.”

“Me!” She winced when her voice grew too loud. She elbowed him in the ribs and spoke lower so those looking their way wouldn’t hear her. “You’re a madman. I cannot marry if you will continue to scare everyone away and tease me so ruthlessly. You are impossible to work with. I am certain I could have had an offer by the end of this week if you had stayed out of my way.”

Never.

It was then that Adrian realized he could not let any man in London lay claim to Charlotte. A strange warmth and a chill ran down his spine and spread through his body. Dread sat heavily in his gut.

To be more particular, he feared that he didn’t want any man except for himself to ever have this stubborn, daring, sharp-tongued woman.

Catching him staring at her, Charlotte asked, “What? What is it? Do I have something on my nose?”

“There you are!”

Theodosia ushered them into their box, pulling Eleanor aside to chatter away about the race. It left Charlotte and Adrian standing on the top step, looking at each other.

Adrian could hardly breathe. The world was shrinking. It was too small, and his lungs couldn’t get enough air. What could he possibly say to her?

He dropped his arm. “Yes, you do,” he said in an uneven voice and then stepped into the box, wondering what on earth he was supposed to do with himself now.