Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

T he sun was shining down on them, and Charlotte wanted more than anything to believe it was a good omen.

If it wasn’t, she didn’t know what to make of it, nor what she would do when the clouds returned. They were promenading near the fashionable hour before Hyde Park became crowded. Soon, ladies and gentlemen would be scrambling to stay on the path and be seen without bumping elbows.

She was glad they had come early. It was a relief to feel the sun on her face, with all the cloudy days in London. Life out in the country promised a little more sunshine than she had comprehended until now. She supposed it was the smog, but no one would tell her enough about it for her to be certain.

“What are you thinking about?” came Adrian’s low voice.

She glanced at him warily at first, wondering if that was a judgmental look in his eyes. She didn’t know where she stood with him.

It was easier to manage her manners when they were both being rude toward one another. But they weren’t being rude now. Rather, the two of them seemed to have come to a silent agreement to be courteous while walking side by side behind Theodosia and her retinue of friends.

This is for the best, I suppose. It’s better that we are friends. It would make the Season much easier to survive. But is this temporary? Is it false? I cannot tell. I hardly know what to do if things go wrong.

“I was thinking about the smog,” Charlotte confessed, unable to think up anything new. “That’s what it’s called here in London, isn’t it?”

He nodded. “Indeed. A pure treasure that everyone boasts about until they retire to the countryside for the winter.”

So he doesn’t care for it either. I could hear that sarcasm from the other side of the world.

Looking him over curiously, Charlotte nodded. Adrian was always what she assumed but not what she expected. Seeing him wince at the bright light before touching his forehead made him appear frightfully human. It also made her heart patter in a way she didn’t understand.

“You don’t care for London.” It wasn’t a question.

“Certainly not. Only for my aunt’s home. Once, I adored the busy life here. But once you see more of the world… well, you realize just how small London is. How little anything here matters.”

There was an earnestness in his voice that caught her attention. Her heart pattered again. She tried to brush it aside. “What matters?”

“Hmm?” Their eyes met. That soft green of his irises enveloped her in a warmth that made her cheeks flush. “What do you mean?”

“You said London is small and hardly matters. I’m assuming that this implies something matters more than the Season and this city. London is practically the capital of the world. So what else matters?” she inquired.

This question was meant to be a lighthearted joke to keep the mood positive so they would continue to get along. But as Charlotte spoke, she found herself growing curious to know the answer. To know Adrian.

Perhaps I don’t know myself. Why does any of this matter? He certainly doesn’t. I can’t care about the Duke. He is… well, he’s trouble. That’s all he could ever be.

“That is…” Adrian trailed off, growing pensive. He lifted his chin but continued to gaze at her. Their heights were perfect right then, as he shielded her from the sun’s brightness. But when he shifted on his feet, it cloaked his face in shadow. “What an odd question.”

Charlotte swallowed, regretting everything. Putting on a smile, she tried to say teasingly, “Never mind that. The sun must be too warm for my thoughts to be straight. We have been out here for too long. I should have brought a parasol like Lady Theodosia.”

“Only because––”

To her dismay, she would never learn whatever Adrian was about to say next because a woman came out of nowhere, startling her, and spoke instead.

“How unfortunate you are.” That familiar, sickly-sweet voice had the hair on the back of her neck standing on end. “Yes, I can see it now. You will be freckled and burned by the time you return home. What a pity.”

Turning, Charlotte saw Lady Eloise Hyderlin fanning herself while a servant followed close behind, holding a beautiful parasol over her head. The small blonde woman wore a pretty pout while she fluttered her eyelashes in mock innocence.

Charlotte couldn’t prove it, of course, but the woman was provoking her. Still, she felt unprepared. Her body stiffened as she accepted this, and she tried to find something to say in return.

But her tongue wouldn’t budge.

“Good afternoon, Your Grace.” Lady Eloise turned to Adrian, dismissing her. “What an absolute delight to see you in the park. I would have come sooner if I had known I might enjoy your company. Rather warm, wouldn’t you agree? A poor lady like myself could positively melt under this weather. I could certainly use a refreshing lemonade or ice. Isn’t Gunther’s right over there?”

“I suppose it is,” Adrian responded acerbically.

“What is this about Gunther’s ?” Theodosia and her friends had turned around, seeing that Charlotte and Adrian had not rounded the pond alongside them. She eyed Lady Eloise with an inscrutable look. “They won’t open until tomorrow.”

Lady Eloise hastily bowed, pushing her servant behind her. “Oh, Your Grace! I did not see you there. What a beautiful… bonnet you’re wearing. And what a shame about Gunther’s . It would have been refreshing. Wouldn’t it, Your Grace?” She turned back to Adrian with a gleam in her eyes.

Charlotte wondered if the woman wanted to eat the Duke.

“We could have enjoyed a sweet treat together while staying out of the sun and avoiding blemishes.”

“That hardly matters,” Adrian started when his aunt chuckled.

“Blemishes? You’re too young to worry about that,” Theodosia said and then looked at Lady Eloise closer. “Or perhaps not. No, the sun will do a soul good. Charlotte dearest? Come walk with me. I want to tell you about the first time I came to this park.”

Charlotte glanced at Adrian, who raised his eyebrow as though he offered a challenge. He subtly tilted his head toward Lady Eloise, as if he was reminding Charlotte to say something. Do something. Then he let go and stepped back as if nothing had happened.

Charlotte’s heart pounded. She nodded her thanks before turning to Lady Eloise, who stood between her and Theodosia. “What a pleasure it was to see you again,” she forced out. “I do hope next time you are not suffering so terribly.”

“What? But I… hmm.” Lady Eloise pursed her lips, shooting her a nasty look.

And then it was Charlotte’s turn to turn her back to the woman. It wasn’t quite a cut direct, but the signal was enough. Her heart hammered in her chest as she took Theodosia’s free hand.

“Well done,” the old woman murmured when they started moving. “She’s as dreadful as her father. Never knows when to keep her mouth shut. Now, let’s see the vines I wanted to show you. Adrian, my dear, hold Lady Mary’s arm. It has been too long since she’s had a handsome man at her side.”

Charlotte could hear everyone talking behind them. Lady Eloise took her leave, and Adrian began charming the other four women in their party with his dry wit. His mood seemed to have improved, and Charlotte heard him laugh at one point, the sound so surprising that she stumbled.

“I’m all right,” she promised Theodosia. “Tell me about those vines.”

Her godmother recounted quite an amusing story about a scandal she nearly caused only a few years ago when Hyde Park first opened. It centered around a couple and some open dress buttons. It made Charlotte laugh. The tension left her body as they walked on, and she continued to enjoy herself up until they reached the park’s entrance.

The other ladies left, and Adrian took his aunt’s other arm for the short walk back to Bradford House. Charlotte used that time to reflect on their promenade, smiling over everything that had happened.

“I see you are in good spirits,” the Duke noted once they were inside. Already Theodosia was walking off with Lloyd for an afternoon doze. “How did it feel, talking to Lady Eloise like that?”

Charlotte tugged off her gloves before reluctantly facing him, a small smile on her face. She couldn’t hide it. “Rather good. Is that a terrible thing?”

“No,” he responded and then grinned in a rather boyish manner. It made him look half his age. It reminded her of the day they met in the garden ten years ago, that impish smile and his sparkling eyes. She took him in as he spoke. “But then again, I wouldn’t know. I do as I like, not as I should. I must admit I may not be the best influence, but I prepared you well enough that you managed to hold your own quite splendidly.”

Good Lord, now he compliments me. Something really must have happened to him to have him saying things like that. But I shall accept it all the same.

“Thank you,” she said pertly, pulling herself together.

She fumbled with her gloves and considered taking them upstairs, since Lloyd had left them. Facing the hall again, Charlotte watched her godmother and the butler walking arm in arm. She elbowed Adrian.

How utterly charming those two are. I could almost believe they were…

“Hmm?”

She nodded her head toward the older couple before glancing back at Adrian. It was a risk insinuating such a thing. She hesitated, fearing she was making a mistake. Any excitement she’d felt a moment ago faded.

“Huh.” Adrian straightened up beside her.

Charlotte noted he was closer to her now. Their shoulders brushed, but neither of them acknowledged it as they watched Theodosia waving a hand while Lloyd chuckled.

Although Charlotte tried to catch what they were talking about, she couldn’t. Something about horses and anniversaries. But the words hardly mattered, in her opinion. Instead, she was fascinated by the way Lloyd followed Theodosia’s every movement and gently guided her around the corner. They even heard him laugh loudly once he was out of view.

It was clear the two of them had known one another for a very long time. One couldn’t live in a house and not grow familiar with the staff. But this felt like more than that to Charlotte. The Dowager Duchess and her butler clearly knew each other very well and got along even better.

Biting her lip, Charlotte waited for a beat before glancing up at Adrian. “They looked so… happy.”

A shadow crossed his face. She saw his brow furrow. But then he shrugged it off, shooting her a quick glance before turning his back on her. “My aunt does as she wishes. It is not for me to judge or tell her what to do.”

“Certainly not,” Charlotte murmured.

As she left the hall, she considered the tight feeling in her chest. It wasn’t that she felt uncomfortable with what she had seen—she realized that fairly soon. But it took well into the evening for realization to dawn on her.

She was envious. She’d never seen two people look and sound so happy together. Committed as she was to never marry, Charlotte couldn’t help admitting to herself that it would be a very nice thing to love another and be loved in return.