Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

C harlotte’s mouth closed, though she could feel the tremors wracking her body. She shook and shuddered, nearly biting off her tongue.

She felt awfully alive—she could feel every inch of her body. The clawing heat of the ballroom still clung to her limbs, though the breeze was cooling her face. Or it had been until Lord Remold grabbed her and Adrian…

Well, he saved her, she supposed.

Such a fact should have brought her comfort, and she supposed that, eventually, it would. Having a protector in London clearly carried some value. He had appeared out of nowhere to help her out of a tight spot. Surely, she was grateful. Besides, she definitely didn’t want Lord Remold to touch her. The only reason he’d put his hands on her was that he refused to listen to anything she said.

Gentlemen, apparently, were not always gentlemen.

Maybe she should have known that all along, as Adrian was a gentleman and a scoundrel. He was always dressed in finery and could be more charming than she could bear, while also mocking her and belittling her and teasing her.

And, apparently, coming to her aid.

Her gaze shifted to Lord Remold, who froze at Adrian’s threat. As badly as he must wish to escape his temporary and shaky prison of a short hedge, the man seemed to know it was less dangerous right there with the scratches and discomfort than risking facing the Duke of Wakefield on his feet.

Regarding the Duke… Charlotte wasn’t particularly surprised that he got angry. Most people could be pushed to strong emotions. She’d seen it with her father before, and even her cousins a time or two. It was a human reaction.

And yet part of her might not have believed that Adrian was entirely human. Yes, he could get angry. But he was more than that now. He was furious . His pale green eyes had darkened with a fiery rage that made her hesitate to speak. She could hardly breathe at the thought of those eyes and the power they might wield.

Her heart seemed to whisper that he raged for her.

I don’t even know what that means. What it could mean. My head hurts, and I cannot understand it.

“Come with me.” Adrian straightened up and turned his back on Lord Remold. He put her hand on his arm and steered her back toward the stairs leading up to the terrace.

She hesitated and glanced back to see Lord Remold clumsily escaping the hedge now that Adrian wasn’t in his face or making threats. There was enough light for her to notice that the pathetic man was shaken and humiliated. A coward, she decided, who didn’t respect women.

When Adrian tried to walk faster, Charlotte planted her feet on the ground, bringing them to a halt.

“Charlotte,” he growled.

This was not the same rage he had displayed a moment ago. There was a tinge of that familiar exasperation with which he often spoke while addressing her.

Why did that bring her comfort?

I may be going mad. What is with this wild beating of my heart? It doesn’t matter what he says. What he means. No, we must clear the air. Only then can I think straight.

Pursing her lips, Charlotte shook her head. “I’m not going back there and pretending this didn’t just happen.”

“Are you mad?”

“Are you?” she countered.

Adrian closed the distance between them. He stared her down, and she saw the conflicted look in her eyes. Confusion made her pause. What on earth could be going on inside that mind of his?

Licking her lips, she tentatively squeezed his forearm. He stiffened in reaction.

“We can’t go back inside with you angry like this,” she said evenly. But then she couldn’t resist adding, “And we can’t let you simply go around punching anyone you dislike.”

“Are you scolding me?”

“I’m only telling you what you already know. Consider it a reminder,” she replied softly.

Adrian huffed and began to turn away. “What an absolute mess of a hen you are, Charlotte. You don’t know what happened, do you?”

He cursed so harshly that she flinched. She thought she had heard it all, but she was apparently wrong. Still, he noticed the movement and froze. The man was clearly worked up and needed time to breathe.

“You could have been hurt.”

“Oh, it wouldn’t have been that bad,” she tried.

“He could have kissed you.”

“I was telling him I didn’t want to be kissed.”

Adrian’s face darkened. “He would have tried for more. A man like that may take what you will not want to offer him, Charlotte.”

Charlotte’s cheeks flushed, since she did know what he spoke of, though it was too embarrassing to mention. “You don’t know––”

“And then where would we be? Everyone would learn that the two of you were off alone, and you would be forced to marry him. Even if you didn’t go any farther than that lantern, rumors could spiral out of control and you would be trapped. You would have no choice. It would be an immediate scandal,” he pressed.

The two of them stood before one another, toe to toe. Charlotte could feel the way her dress brushed against his boots. There was a hint of cologne she recognized. She’d thought it was the house but only now realized it had been him. Pine trees and leather, she noted. Her heart pounded as she held his intense gaze.

“Immediate scandal,” she echoed, unable to put other words together to form a proper sentence.

“Exactly,” he said in an angry huff.

Slowly taking in a deep breath, Charlotte nodded and considered the situation. He didn’t look away from her. It took a moment, but eventually, she asked him, “Will there be a scandal now?”

“No. Not if he knows what is good for him.” His eyes flitted over her face for a moment before a satisfied smirk curved his lips. It was dark and awfully charming. She hated it as much as she tried to memorize it, worried she’d never see it again. “He will never come near you again.”

“Very well then. There is nothing to be concerned about.” She forced herself to take a step back. “I suppose I should thank you for your help this evening.”

He slowly straightened up, and she noted the way his gaze lingered on her shoulders. Was it because of the cut of the dress, or did he recall exactly where Lord Remold had touched her?

“Don’t. I would rather forget this ever happened.”

It still felt like a very heavy conversation. She tried to smile, to ease the tension between them. He had composed himself now and seemed to be calmer. Hopefully, she could as well. If only her heart would stop pounding.

“Very well. It never happened. This has been a-a pleasant ball where everything has gone perfectly. I was brilliant on the dance floor, and you… were yourself—annoying and testy.”

How inane I sound now. It makes me feel like I am nothing more than a clumsy, silly, little puppet. But perhaps this is the way things are in London. Beauty and lies with nothing of substance.

“And you never went off alone with another man,” Adrian murmured.

Had he closed the distance between them? She licked her lips again and held her breath when his gaze followed the movement. She swallowed hard, then gave him a nod.

“Charlotte, you must be more careful,” he said in a much softer voice now. “It appears I have much more to teach you. This Season is not meant to put you in danger but to help you secure a bright future. Do not forget that, above all, you are under my protection.”

A shiver ran down her spine at his words.

“I am?” she asked, hoping she didn’t sound breathless.

“As long as that is the case,” Adrian declared, “I will not let anything bad happen to you.”

Tilting her head, Charlotte clenched her hands into fists and then unclenched them. She did this three times while processing her thoughts.

“What happens when I am no longer under your protection?” she asked, at last. “What then?”

Her gaze fell to Adrian’s mouth as his jaw tightened. Perhaps the question angered him. Or perhaps the answer upset him. Either way, it took him a moment to speak.

While she waited in terse silence, she tried to understand this tension between them and wondered what might happen next.

“Then it will be your future husband’s responsibility to offer you protection,” he responded.

His voice was flat—the flattest she had ever heard it. His words lacked any emotion, so it took her a minute to understand what he had said. Then, it felt like he had doused her with cold water.

Charlotte blinked and stared back at him. She opened her mouth to retort, but her words failed her. Something about his answer angered her. She wanted to push him, shove him, do something that would elicit a stronger reaction.

There was so much going on inside her body that she couldn’t begin to comprehend it. Something didn’t feel right. She loathed Adrian and yet wanted to thank him for the reminder that he could be a protector and still a big thorn in her side.

It was a charged silence. An awkward one, as well.

Charlotte studied him while she considered the weight of his words and how ridiculous they were. He knew she didn’t wish to marry. Hadn’t she told him that when they first met? And she had surely told him that several times since then. He knew that wasn’t what she wanted. But something in his eyes and the way he grimaced made her wonder if he actually believed that would ever happen.

He looked away first.

Pursing her lips in bitter victory, Charlotte bounced back on her heels. There was something more going on. Adrian seemed to be warring with himself, looking everywhere but at her.

But that didn’t matter, since he had reminded her about the future husband she needed to avoid. Staying out here with him wouldn’t help her. It was best if she returned to the ball and enjoyed herself, pretending that none of this had happened.

When she turned toward the stairs, he murmured, “Charlotte?”

“I’m returning to the ball so no one knows I’ve been here,” she told him as calmly as she could. “Don’t follow me straight away, or people will grow suspicious. You may collect me after supper if you still wish to leave then.”

Adrian didn’t say another word as she climbed up the stairs. She expected him to scold her or lecture her, but he could have vanished for all she knew.

Finding herself back in the ballroom, Charlotte studied her beautiful surroundings in a daze. It truly was lovely. But now… she could see better now that she was not drinking or dancing. She saw the suspicious stares and heard the whispers behind fans, and she felt the suffocating air warming her inside and out.

No one had noticed she was gone for more than a moment. Soon, another gentleman found her for a dance she had forgotten she promised him. Returning to the dance floor, they enjoyed a quadrille and then Charlotte was swept into the arms of another.

The ball passed by without incident after that, as Charlotte made friends and future plans while enjoying dancing and feasting. Eventually, smiling became easy again.

Perhaps tonight would never end. Charlotte laughed and smiled and befriended everyone. She enjoyed supper with Theodosia and her friends before dancing several times again.

It was a footman who came to alert her that her carriage was being prepared. She politely left her new friends to join the Duke and her godmother in the carriage.

“Her headache returned,” Adrian explained.

He offered her a hand to help her inside. Ignoring it, Charlotte climbed in.

Neither of them said a thing about the matter. She didn’t even know what could be said after everything that had happened tonight. As ready as she was to put it behind her, the entire incident and conversation niggled at her.

“The ball will last another two hours, at least. Perhaps four.” Theodosia fanned herself. Charlotte noted the weakness in the woman’s wrist. “My sincerest apologies for forcing you to leave early.”

Charlotte shook her head. “Never mind that. I was out of dance partners, and my feet feel like they might fall off.”

“Ah, I remember those days.” Theodosia’s eyes were bright as she looked at Charlotte. She looked her age then when she sighed and leaned back into her seat. “Your very first ball, my dear. How was it?”

“The ball? It was…” Charlotte glanced at Adrian. He was sprawled out on the bench across from her. He sat with his arms crossed, and he seemed to be particularly avoiding her gaze. “It was lovely. A very lovely ball.”

“How glad I am to hear it. And the two of you have done well, for everyone had complimented you, Charlotte. I was beginning to worry my nephew had failed us. But not to worry, you are ridiculously well-liked.”

Charlotte gave the Dowager Duchess a smile. “Truly? I really did like many of the people I met tonight. Everyone was entertaining and generous.” She ignored Adrian’s scoff. “I missed several steps in the cotillion, I’m afraid. And I spilled wine on my glove twice, but I should like to think of tonight as a success.”

“Oh, certainly!”

The two women talked the entire ride home. It was not long, though it certainly felt crowded, and Adrian’s mood darkened further.

Not knowing what was going on with him, Charlotte ignored him to focus on her godmother. The woman had a lot of praise for her. Although the Dowager Duchess had arrived late at the ball, she had plenty of time to talk with everyone. And everyone, it seemed, wished to get to know her.

Eventually, they arrived at Bradford House. The carriage pulled up to the side door, where Charlotte was helped down by the driver. Adrian climbed out and helped down his aunt.

“Thank you, my boy. Wouldn’t you agree?”

He sighed. “About what?”

“About Charlotte, of course. You have been her teacher, her mentor. Surely you have something to say about tonight’s success. What a treasure she is. It shows you can do something right, you know.”

“Right,” he said curtly. He shot Charlotte a pointed look, nodded, and then darted off into the house without another word.

Tsking, Theodosia shook her head. She took Charlotte’s arm before motioning toward the open door. “He is certainly out of sorts tonight. It seems to be worse than usual, I fear. Do you know what happened to make him act like an unruly child?”

Charlotte felt confident she could have answered that question a few hours ago. However, Adrian should have had plenty of time to stop stressing over what had almost happened. It had been a long and eventful night. She wanted to revel in the fun she’d had. The evening had improved, so that was enough for her. But he seemed determined to be as unhappy as ever.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what happened,” she replied, at last. “Perhaps he is weary?”

“If he’s weary, then I should be dead,” her godmother huffed. “Come, help me to the door. Then I’ll have Lloyd and my maid take me upstairs, and you can go to bed.”

Charlotte paused once they were inside. “Are you certain? I don’t mind taking you to your room.”

“Don’t worry. It makes them feel useful. I should have brought my cane tonight, you see, but I was stubborn. Stubbornness is not always the best choice,” Theodosia said pointedly. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

“I… Yes, yes, I do.”

Charlotte took her leave a minute later and made her way up to her bedchamber. After she rang for Abigail, she sat down at her vanity and looked in the mirror. She pulled out the pins in her hair and yawned, trying to piece together the strange puzzle that made up her evening.

It was a successful ball, by all accounts. Everyone had been invited and everyone showed up. There had been little drama to offer the gossip rags, and everyone had enjoyed themselves. It had gone well, she knew.

Yet, something still felt not right. Charlotte let her maid chatter on happily until she was curled up in bed. She stared up at the ceiling, wondering what she was supposed to feel.

It had been fine, she decided at last. Just fine. She only wished it had made her heart flutter as much as it did in the Duke’s presence.

Charlotte decided to hold on to hope all the same, confident that it would eventually make sense to her.