Chapter Fifty-Nine Wade

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

Wade

A week from now isn't going to do, and I told Ivy as much last night. There is not a chance I'm making her wait another week to see that everything is okay with our baby. I'll be getting her an appointment before that. I've never really been a praying man, but I will succumb to begging the universe for this baby. I'm willing this to be—the way my mother does. Manifesting everything she wants in life and always telling us to, telling us it works. I never gave it a thought before, kind of thought it was all just bullshit, but right now I'm manifesting the hell out of this because I never knew it until those words left Ivy's lips, but I want this. I want it more than anything I've ever wanted in my entire life. I won't even let myself think of a different outcome.

After we went back to my house, our house, we talked long into the night about the hows and what-ifs, as we ate our ice cream sundaes and watched Under Siege . I could see it in her eyes, the fear of letting this hope register with her. The fear of wanting it. But I'll do it for both of us, because somehow I have a feeling this is the future we're meant for. Her and me and this life. It's the simplest purest form of happiness there is.

By nine a.m., I'm ready to go. I have an appointment set for us with Dr. Miller's practice. She's been our family doctor for thirty years and I trust her with everything I have, including Ivy and our little bean. She agreed to take Ivy's appointment for me today as a favor, but promised to hand Ivy over to the other doctor in her practice so that Ivy can have a doctor of her own. After hearing she was with Brad's doctor for a long time, I felt like that was important. Ivy deserves her own doctor, her own way.

I find Ivy when I'm ready to leave at the barn talking to Haden and Dusty while they clean.

She's got her hair in a big high ponytail and is wearing tights and a UK hoodie. I wonder if she'll always take my breath away the way she does now, and I find myself hoping with everything in me that a round little bump will be filling out that hoodie very soon. I can't fucking wait to see how much more beautiful her body becomes as my child grows in her.

"The boys are going to finish up for you," I say when I approach her. I pull her to me and kiss her. Haden and Dusty don't even really look up but I see a smirk on Haden's face under his hat. He knows to respect me enough not to make any comments. I fill them in on some other things I need completed before Haden leaves to take care of his other responsibilities.

Nash and CeCe round the corner of the barn just as we're saying our goodbyes to the boys.

"Mark July 22nd on your calendar, we just filled in Mama, and we're going to have the best bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas before that!" CeCe says as she smiles wide at Ivy, giving her a hug when she enters the barn.

"July 22nd? That the big day?" I ask, giving Nash the weird kind of hug /handshake men do when they're happy for each other.

"Yep, gotta plan our wedding around your horse's race schedule, because we want you both there for every part of it and when that racing starts, we don't want to miss any of it."

"Good luck to you, try to keep the bride beast tamed, and whatever you do don't pick anything without asking her." I grin.

"Shut up, I'm not a control freak, Wade," CeCe says.

Nash looks at her and chuckles like she must be joking but when she looks back he stops laughing immediately.

"You are a little bit, but it's an endearing kind of controlling, little firefly," Nash says as he pulls her to him.

CeCe winks at Ivy and shrugs.

She goddamn well knows she's as controlling as I am, but will never admit it.

"I heard Sam isn't coming back, does that mean you're here to stay?" CeCe asks Ivy, but she also looks back up at me for an answer.

"I'm hoping so," Ivy says, and when her eyes meet mine they're full of a secret only the two of us share. "I wouldn't want to go anywhere else," she adds with a shrug and a smile.

As Nash and CeCe scamper off to get their horses ready for a ride, Nash yells around the corner, "Have a nice day, lovebirds," before the sound of their snickering fills the air.

"This is going to feel a bit chilly," Dr. Miller says to Ivy as she squirts a gel on Ivy's abdomen. Ivy is a ball of nerves and so the fuck am I.

"Just try to relax and we'll see what we can. I've had a look at your files from your previous doctor. I see his notes on your physicals, but I can't see anything in there at all about your cervix being weak, and he's since passed away so I can't even ask him."

"He was old when I saw him last, it was a couple years ago," Ivy confesses. "I didn't even know he had passed on."

I squeeze her hand as she relives the time in her life I'm sure she'd rather forget.

"God, I have to pee so badly." Ivy giggles as the doctor starts moving the wand with pressure against her abdomen.

Dr. Miller grins. "If you're not far enough along, we'll have to try a transvaginal ultrasound, but we'll try this first. And sorry, it makes it easier for us to see, pushes everything to the forefront if your bladder is full. This won't take long."

We watch as the doctor clicks away on her computer while she maneuvers the wand around.

The room is dead silent save for the constant clicking.

"Just taking some measurements," the doctor tells us, sensing our nerves is my guess.

After what feels like an eternity, she turns the screen around to face us and smiles.

"Seems you're right around eight to nine weeks along. You've got a little mover in there." She laughs as she points to the tiny little figure wiggling all over the screen that actually looks like … like a little bean.

"There is the baby's heartbeat, it's good and strong … and your lining is plenty thick, everything looks … good. I must say, I don't see anything here that would ever make me speculate you couldn't carry this baby to term, Ivy," she says. "But we'll run more tests to be sure."

A sob escapes Ivy's throat as she blows out a breath I think she was holding that whole time, and I smile down at her beside me, then kiss the top of her sweet head.

"What? Wade … did I just dream that?"

I chuckle and kiss her lips.

"No, sweetheart, you heard right. Looks like little bean is already pretty set up in there," I say as I let the most love I've ever felt in my life wash over me.

We stare back at the screen and let ourselves become mesmerized by our baby, a perfect little mix of each of us. He or she wiggles around some more before the doctor interrupts us and tells us we'll need to come back for another ultrasound around twelve weeks. She gives Ivy instructions to rest, eat well, avoid stress, and tells us it's all very standard. She says there's no reason Ivy can't keep assisting with training as long as it's from the ground.

Ten minutes later, as Ivy heads off to get dressed, Dr. Miller prints me off three pictures of little bean and hands them to me. I stare down at the most incredible photo I've ever seen, in total awe, before placing that little masterpiece in my inside jacket pocket, right over my heart. My little bean , I can't wait to be your dad.