SOREN

I didn't tell Liam about it.

I couldn't.

A sense of torment overwhelmed me. I felt physically sick, betrayed, like someone had taken something from me, destroyed it, and then thrown it back in my face. I couldn't even blame Alvin. I knew he never liked me; Skye had told me that Alvin had discouraged him from being with me, so it made sense. I also knew Alvin had a thing for Don. From the start, he had a soft spot for the bastard because they shared the erotic asphyxiation kink. So it wasn't surprising he pulled a stunt like this, revenging Don in a way.

I didn't even know what to feel now—disappointment? Anger? Hope?

Was I really supposed to do something so cruel now, go to Liam and say, "Hey, I'm breaking up with you because—bummer—my emails didn't get through to Skye?"

It was all so absurd and tragic, like some dark comedy drama.

That night, I sat curled up on my bed, staring at the wall when Liam came over.

He sat next to me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. "I ran you a warm bath. I can see you're a bit tense today. Wouldn't you like to relax?"

Liam was still trying! Every single day, he kept trying, doing everything he could to make me like him the way he wanted me to… the way he, to be honest, deserved.

"Thanks, maybe I do need that," I muttered and stood up, gently freeing myself from his embrace. I headed to the bathroom, where a warm bath awaited me, filled with bubbles and scented oils.

I stripped down and got into the water, but just as I submerged myself, the door opened, and Liam walked in.

Recently, he rarely came in when I was already inside, so it was a bit surprising.

"Mind if I join you?"

Now that he was here, it was hard to kick him out. I slowly nodded.

"I've got something for you, Soren."

Oh no, not a gift. This could only end one way: awkwardly.

But the worst part was still coming! Liam started undressing slowly, and I just froze, staring at him in panic. He'd never undressed in front of me before—not even at the beach over the weekend. We both wore those swim shirts omegas often use. I had a chest like many omegas, and I had no desire to show it off on the beach, trying to avoid any whistling alphas. As for Liam, he probably wanted to hide that his muscles weren't exactly impressive. For a beta, he was rather willowy, but not completely bony—he definitely had some ass on him.

Now, however, he didn't seem to care about any of that. He pulled up his T-shirt, revealing his lean chest. Then unexpectedly, he turned around, and, with shock, I saw a large tattoo on his back, spreading between his shoulder blades! It was an artistic design of swirling lines that formed one word: ‘Soren'.

No, I didn't see that coming. I froze, tempted to curse under my breath with every vulgar profanity I knew. I stared and stared, my brain going completely blank. What had this idiot done? He had tattooed my name on his skin in his twisted need to appeal to me.

Now I just HAD to feel guilty about refusing to have sex with him! The fucker…

Liam slowly turned to face me and studied my expression for a moment.

"Why did you do that, Liam? Tattoos aren't easy to remove," I choked out, fighting through the tightness in my jaw.

"But I don't plan on removing it."

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

He pulled off his shorts and stood naked in front of me. I made a conscious effort not to look at his crotch—I really didn't want to see what he had there. Liam slowly approached the tub and, to my yet another shock, lifted his leg to step into the water.

"What are you doing?" I shrieked out in disbelief.

He didn't answer. In no time, he was in the bathtub, straddling my hips and lowering himself into the water with me. His butt settled on my lap, but if he was expecting to find something hard there, he was disappointed. My dick set a record for shrinkage.

But he didn't seem discouraged. He placed his hands on my shoulders and leaned in toward my lips. I wanted to turn my head away, but for God's sake, he had tattooed my name on his back! Trap! What was I supposed to do? Slap him?

His lips moved over mine, seeking access, but I stubbornly kept them closed. And still, that didn't deter him. He pulled back, then turned around and lowered himself again, laying with his back against me so that his plump butt was on my groin, and his shoulder blades rested against my chest. He also placed his head on my shoulder.

In any other situation, this position might have been sweet and intimate. Two lovers relaxing in a tub full of warm, bubbly water. But I couldn't enjoy it. I felt his fleshy ass cheeks pressing against my private parts. Any other guy would probably be excited about Liam's meaty ass, but I didn't care about asses. What I wanted was for the other person to be interested in… my ass! I tried—really tried—for a moment to stir up something more in myself, but I couldn't. Nothing worked. I didn't even feel the slightest twinge in my crotch. I had no desire to penetrate him—it was me, who wanted to be penetrated. But the only problem was—not by him.

I realized that Liam had slipped his hand under the water, moving it toward his dick. I squeezed my eyes shut as I understood what he was doing.

A trap—like I said. How was I supposed to deal with this? I had locked myself in this nightmare, and there was no end in sight. Was I ready to end it anyway?

Liam and I were best friends for years.

Really—best friends, not just friends. I knew him so well, knew his family. I held him in my arms when his parents died in a plane crash, and he sobbed for days. I was by his side when his grandpa had a stroke. When he received the news from the notary that his trust fund wouldn't be available until he turned twenty-five, and there was nothing he could do to access it earlier—leaving him penniless, with no way to support himself or his grandpa—I was there too. Liam struggled for years, working two jobs while studying. He rented out his parents' apartment and used the money to make sure his grandpa received good care in a respectable nursing home, leaving nothing for himself. I understood him, as I was also struggling to support my dad, who was disabled and in constant pain.

We went through hell and back together, so my word to him wasn't given lightly. I truly wanted to give Liam what he so desperately desired—but in the process, I doomed myself to a life of lies, celibacy, constant remorse, guilt, and unhappiness.

***

The next day, Liam was even sweeter and more affectionate. In the morning, he made me pancakes with strawberries, bananas, and blueberries—my favorite—drizzled with honey. As I entered the kitchen, looking like a ghostly creature that had just crawled from the grave, he welcomed me with a sunny smile.

My face was frozen in a permanent unhappy grimace, but I made a superhuman effort to move my stiff facial muscles and tried to smile. I hated how ungrateful I was, how I treated him, how I didn't appreciate Liam. Instead, a treacherous part of me constantly dreamed of feeling Skye's presence near me, and also… his body on me, pushing into my hole. Yep.

Can you turn back a river?

My heart was like a river, flowing in only one direction, toward its own demise. That much was certain. Like a moth to a flame—so foolishly, hopelessly, irrationally. My mind was filled with Skye, but… I lived with another man.

The day at work started like any other, yet it felt so different. Skye must have read all my emails by now. He knew about my struggles, knew how I felt during that first month after our breakup. He'd read every word full of confessions, pleas, and begging… Now he knew I shared his feelings. So many emails couldn't lie.

When I walked into our office, he was sitting there, staring at his screen. I could see the tension in his muscular shoulders, the dark strands of his chestnut slash dark red hair falling over his perfectly shaped but pale cheeks. My God, did he have to be so beautiful? His eyelashes were so dark and thick, his lips full and sensual, his features manly. Everything about him screamed at me, demanding that I reach out for him. And I could, or… could I really?

Around 10:00 am, I realized I needed some air—or maybe just to stretch my legs. So I walked out into the hallway and, after a moment of hesitation, headed toward the restroom. There was a large window in there, and I went over to it, staring out at the world surrounding our skyscraper, now slightly gray because of the drizzly rain.

I got lost in the soothing sight of millions of water droplets falling on the bustling city below. Everything seemed so simple—the opposite of my own life. Pale clouds rolled over the skyscraper as I stood there, staring and staring, while the rain quietly whispered outside the window.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me. I knew right away who it was and slowly turned to meet his gaze.

"I asked you back then, Soren, to give me a chance. Then you asked me, and now here we are, full circle. Please, break the loop. Let's try to be together. I know that you still have feelings for me."

I shivered slightly as his piercing eyes locked onto mine, like I was the center of his universe.

"Skye, I'm with Liam now. I couldn't do that to him. He's a good person, and he loves me so much… Would you really want me to be that cruel? He is doing everything humanly possible to make our relationship work. I can't break his heart."

"One of us will always end up with a broken heart… in any situation, in any arrangement, in any constellation."

I looked at him, trembling all over. "What do you expect from me? What do you want? I can't be with you. I'm not a monster. I broke your heart; now I'm supposed to go break another person's heart? Leave destruction in my wake, just to reach… an uncertain goal? And we won't work out anyway, Skye! Not in the long run!"

"We won't? If you truly believe that, why did you even write all those emails?"

The silence was deafening. Then I lowered my head and admitted, "Because my heart wants one thing and my mind wants another. It was this one month when my heart won."

Skye was silent for a while. His eyes slowly moved over my face as if deep in thought, then he took a deep breath.

"So, there's no chance for us? Not now, not ever?"

I tried to take a breath too, but I couldn't. My lungs only expanded halfway. I nearly groaned in pain and whispered, "I don't know. But I know that right now, there's no good solution for this."

"So I'll wait. I'll wait until your relationship with Liam runs its course and maybe, at some point, naturally ends. And maybe then you'll give us a chance."

I stayed silent, feeling as if each of his words was like sharp icicles slicing through my skin, leaving cold, long lines. Something inside me was dying, something was crumbling.

Were we losing each other again?

"I'm sorry. This is all I can give you for now, Skye. Just waiting."

"Can I ask for one thing?"

"For what?" I whispered, closing my eyes.

"Something I've always dreamed of, but it never happened between us."

"What is it?" My whisper was barely audible.

"I want one kiss. I've craved this kiss from the first day I came to your room. Since that moment, I've dreamed of feeling your soft lips on mine, of you responding to that kiss, of your arms wrapping around my neck. Give me this one thing, and I won't ask for anything else. I'll wait for the day you're ready, Soren."

I felt my body start to tremble, knowing already that I was going to agree to his request. My hands grew clammy, and my jaw tightened slightly.

"Alright, one kiss," I rasped.

His eyes lit up, I saw true joy in them—a whole ocean of it. I had given him so little, yet he took it as if I had given him the world. His energy seemed to radiate this excitement.

"Really? Thank you for agreeing. You don't even know how much it means to me."

Why did his words hurt so much?

He stepped closer, and everything seemed to slow down. His hand lifted unhurriedly and gently brushed against my cheek, his fingers trailing along my jawline, then nudged the silver ring in the corner of my lip. I shivered—this simple touch sent a powerful wave of pleasure through my nervous system, concentrating in my crotch area. His other hand slowly rested on my waist, making me tremble even more. My heart raced wildly, and my pulse skyrocketed as his hand traveled up my back to my shoulder blades. The sensual, erotic touch evoked a soft moan from my lips. I wanted to be touched like this all over me; I wanted to feel his lips on my skin. I wanted to offer him my body, which now craved him almost painfully.

He pulled me toward him at an excruciatingly slow pace. Of course, there was no doubt—I could feel his hardness just as he could feel mine. The chemistry that had been between us from the first day definitely didn't fade. If anything, it was even stronger. I saw the hunger in his eyes—a powerful hunger. His pupils were so dilated they nearly eclipsed his turquoise irises.

Even more leisurely, he began to lean toward my lips. I was grateful that he was savoring the moment, slowing it down for both of us, ensuring we didn't miss a single detail—not a breath, not a touch, not a brush of warm air. Finally, the moment, so sweetly prolonged, reached its climax. His lips touched mine, and… boom! It was like an explosion of sparks! I involuntarily moaned, opening my mouth immediately. In the next second, it was as if a violent discharge had passed between us—our lips pressed together with unimaginable passion and intensity. My hands instinctively wrapped around his neck, and my body clung to him in desperate need.

All I could hear were our loud breaths and moans, involuntarily escaping as we kissed. I had never kissed anyone like this, not even Anton. It was a wild, strong, intense kiss, full of unmatched fierceness. I shivered, not wanting it to end, gripping his body tightly as he held on to me. The desperate need to connect with him began to dominate my mind. I realized that if I didn't stop this, we'd end up in one of the stalls, and I'd let him fuck me for as long as he wanted…

But just then, we heard a throat clearing behind us, abruptly ending our heaven-wrapped-in-hell experience.

Standing behind us was—no way—the director Nolan himself!

To my surprise, though, his face didn't show outrage or anger, not even disgust. It was typical of him, perfectly calm.

"The bathroom on my side of the hallway is closed today—some issue with a clogged toilet. I had to use this one, excuse me," he explained, raising his eyebrows meaningfully, then entered a stall, closing the door behind him.

I cursed under my breath. The giant erection straining against my pants was now the least of my problems.

"Damn, this is bad," I muttered. We hurried out of the bathroom, and as soon as we were in the hallway, Skye grabbed my hand, stopping me mid-step.

"Don't worry about him seeing us. That's the least of our problems. He knows how I feel about you."

"But he asked me to keep my private life separate from my work!" I squeaked in panic.

"Soren, he agreed to hire me mainly because he knew I was in love with you. We're good!"

I burst out laughing because it was all so absurd.

"Are you sure? He won't fire us or give us a disciplinary warning for showing affection publicly?"

"I highly doubt it. If anything, he might congratulate me. It's just a shame he doesn't know the truth—that this was only one time." Skye's expression changed as she spoke, his eyes filling with sadness and resignation. I quickly looked away.

"We need to get back to the room, Skye. We have a lot of work to do," I said, adopting an official tone because I didn't want to dig into this any further. I already wronged Liam by doing this; I couldn't let it continue… despite wanting it to continue so fucking much!

"Alright, I'll keep my word. I won't ask for anything more. I'll wait, as I said."

We stared at each other for a moment. My disobedient mind was already indulging in a fantasy of giving him a second kiss, but just then, the door slammed, and Director Nolan stepped out of the bathroom. Seeing us still standing in the hallway, he raised his eyebrows again and said,

"Soren, can I speak to you in my office for a moment?"

Nervously, I nodded. "Of course, we can go right now."

He gestured for me to follow him, and I did, leaving Skye in the hallway, watching us with a bit of anxiety in his eyes.

Once we were alone in Director Nolan's office, he pointed to a chair, and I sat down as he took a seat behind his desk. Nolan leaned against the edge of the desk, his arms crossed over his chest. He smelled clean, a mixture of lavender and lime? The citrusy tinge evoked a particular association in my mind with Skye's fragrance, which still felt like it was enveloping me, dizzying me.

"I'd like to talk to you about the training proposal that the Innovation Department suggested."

His words sounded like an enigmatic message from another planet. What did he say again? I truly did not expect the conversation to be work-related, I thought he was going to chew me out!

"What training are you referring to?"

"Advanced courses in C# and Kotlin."

I stayed silent, unsure of what to say.

He continued, "I'd like to send two people from your team to these training sessions. One of them I'll suggest myself, and that person is you. You're one of our most talented programmers, and I want you to expand your horizons. But you can choose the second person—anyone you think would benefit, even an intern. If we invest in our people, we're more likely to retain them and turn them into valuable employees," he said calmly, his words well-thought-out, measured.

What was he implying? I blinked in confusion, studying him closely. Why was he ignoring what happened?

"Aren't you going to say anything about what you witnessed?" I blurted out. It was eating me up inside, and I needed to get it out.

His face didn't change, nor did his posture.

"Skye told me how he feels about you. He said you rejected him because he's an alpha. Has that stopped being a problem for you?"

I shook my head nervously. "Absolutely not. As I told you before, I'm in a relationship with another beta. I can see how you might misinterpret what you saw, but I assure you, it's not what it looks like. Skye asked me for one kiss, and I agreed to that, but that's all. I'm with Liam, and nothing's changing that… for now."

His white eyebrows raised slightly. "He asked for just one kiss? How romantic—typical Skye. So, he still hasn't gotten what he really wants?"

"Um, no. I'm still with Liam."

Winter Nolan wandered slowly toward the large window overlooking the city.

"You know, that kiss was something. I thought you two were going to suck each other's faces off…"

This remark was rather unexpected, I felt my cheeks burn bright red. "Skye and I have always had this insanely strong chemistry, but that doesn't change anything. He's an alpha, and I'm a beta. It could never work. Relationships like that don't have a good track record; the stats are brutal."

Director Nolan's face remained expressionless, as he slowly spoke, "Well, I understand you perfectly. Many betas avoid alphas, never date them. They're… unstable and obnoxious, after all. But, on occasion, I wonder if they're missing something."

I was stunned by his statement. Who was I—some random guy his brother was infatuated with? And his employee, for that matter! Why was he sharing his thoughts with me?

"Well, yes, they are intense. But sooner or later, they'll leave us for some cute omega with a sweet scent. I've been through that once before, and I don't want to go through it again."

"Intense, yes. That's the word I was looking for." He stared far into the city skyline.

Something nudged at me, tempting me to ask him a question, even though it seemed inappropriate and very private. And he was my director, for fuck's sake!

"Have you ever dated an alpha?"

Now, his pale eyes bore into my face. "No."

Wow, that was a curt and dry answer. I still couldn't read his face—his features could belong to some elven king or a damn ice sculpture.

Then unexpectedly, he tilted his head and added in a low tone, "My relationships have been… safe. My emotions never really went beyond a certain point."

His candor was truly surprising.

For a moment, I studied his still face, but as if sensing my surprise, he turned his eyes back toward the window and fixed them on the horizon. Clearing my throat, I responded, "You were very wise doing that. You protected yourself."

Winter blinked slowly, almost robotic. Maybe the association with the elf king wasn't so accurate, maybe an android would be a better fit?

"Were you ever in love, Soren?"

"Yes."

"How does it feel?"

"Well… horrifying. Wonderful. Awful. Ecstatic."

Still, no expression crossed his face as he whispered, "How beautifully and accurately you put it into words."

The guy was something else, really.

I wondered how he could have sex at all, with that still face and cold demeanor. Could he moan? Maybe his face was just like that—frozen—during his orgasm? I almost chuckled as I imagined it.

There was another moment of silence. He continued to stare into the clouds above the city, which was a bit distracting, as if he wasn't even fully present.

"You know, no one is truly safe, Soren. From having a broken heart. My own family is an example. My brother Rain's husband left him for his High Mate. Nothing in life is certain. Maybe we only have the moments that are ours? We have to accept… embrace them if we want to get anything out of life. We have to risk it all."

I gazed at him, trying to process his words. The conversation was downright bizarre, and this guy was seriously offbeat. How was it possible that he was Skye's brother, they seemed so different!

"But what about the pain?" I murmured, looking to the side.

"The pain," he repeated, almost as if he savored the word. "You know, when I was a kid, my alpha father used to take me and my brothers camping in the woods. I hated it. I cursed his stubbornness for dragging us out there. Once, I cut myself with a pocketknife trying to sharpen a stick. I was crying, but he crouched down next to me with a band-aid in hand and asked, ‘Does it hurt? If it hurts, it means you're alive, Winter!'"

He again met my gaze. This time, however, I caught a flicker of something deep in his pale eyes. Sadness? "Some people are so afraid of being hurt, they never let their guard down. Are they even alive, Soren?"

Wait. Was he talking about himself?

But for some reason, his confession had me in a bit of a quandary about my own situation. My recent decisions have all been designed to keep me safe. And… to keep my life from moving forward.

Encouraged by his sincerity, I decided to come closer and stood next to him, peering outside the window. "Well, that's a valid question. But I reached a point in my previous relationship where I wanted to end it all—because the pain was unbearable. I've had enough… of cuts. My heart couldn't handle it anymore."

A heavy silence fell between us, his irises reflecting the rainy sky outside.

"The eternal question, Soren: Is it better to regret the sins you committed or those you didn't commit at all?" he said so quietly I could barely hear him. It was probably addressed to himself more than to me, since it didn't exactly fit here. Or did it?

I remained silent for a long moment, following his example and staring pensively at the skyline. Yes, this convo was downright bizarre, but in a way it was also eye-opening.

So, with sudden determination, I blurted out, "I've already got someone in mind for that second spot in the training."

"Oh?" Winter turned away from the window, looking at me again. "Who did you choose?"

"Skye."