SOREN

What have I done? I did exactly what I was supposed to, what logic demanded, but it was the complete opposite of what my heart wanted.

When Don and I finally reached the path leading to my dorm, I let go of his hand and stopped.

"Okay, that's enough. You served your purpose, but I don't need you anymore."

"What?" Don's eyes widened.

I sighed in irritation.

"Exactly what you heard. You didn't actually think I was serious, did you?"

Don's eyes narrowed.

"You know what? I've had enough of you too. You're the most screwed-up slut I've ever fucked."

A couple of students were walking toward us from a distance, which gave me a bit of confidence.

"Thanks for the compliment. I'll take that as flattery from a rapist's mouth," I snapped.

He just laughed.

"Rapist? Really? Since when is screwing a whore considered rape? Didn't you just call yourself that, you dicksucker?"

I swallowed hard, my whole body trembling from raging emotions.

"Whatever. I'm glad you're showing your true colors. Makes me feel absolutely no guilt about using you to break up with Skye. Now get lost, and just like I told Skye, don't talk to me, don't try to contact me—I want nothing to do with you."

He tried to grab my arm, but I saw it coming and quickly stepped back. The group of students was getting closer, so I felt pretty safe.

He growled, "You're just a cheap slut. Skye's lucky for dodging that bullet. You don't deserve such an alpha, you're just a fucking garbage beta, a campus trash."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone heading our way.

"I'd rather be a garbage beta than a joke of an alpha with a micropenis!" I choked out, but I didn't feel like I even started to clap back at him.

But still, Don raised his arm to slap my face, and then… a hand caught his wrist.

"Heeey, calm down!" To my surprise, it was Archer—Skye and Alvin's roommate. I didn't know him well, but apparently, he knew who I was. I'd heard strange rumors about him, but I never paid them much attention.

Don yanked his arm out of Archer's grip and stepped back. "Stay out of this, you redneck prick!"

Archer winced slightly. "Okay, maybe I'm a redneck, but unlike you, Mr. Progressive, I don't hit betas or omegas."

Don spat on the floor, "At least I don't want to lock them in kitchens, we're equal!" And he quickly walked away.

Archer gave me a strange look, then slightly bowed his head and… walked off too.

I stood there, watching them leave.

What a catastrophe. I destroyed Skye's world, and in doing so, I destroyed mine too. Once again, I had nothing. This time, by my own choice. My heart was broken, just like Skye's—and just like he did before, I sank to my knees, pressing my hands to my face as I cried, pierced by a sharp pain in my chest.

What have I done?!

Was I really protecting myself from pain by pushing him away? It was stupid, but on some level, I was probably right—alpha-beta relationships just didn't work out. Why would ours be the exception? So, I shielded myself by rejecting him and hurting him…

His tear-streaked face, the cruel words I'd said—they kept playing over and over in my mind like a torturous loop.

I don't know how long I sat on the grass. I even had the urge to call Liam, but I knew exactly what he'd say—that I did the right thing, the logical thing, that I was protecting my heart and my future. But I didn't want to hear those stupid words of logic.

The only thing I wanted was to run to Skye, apologize, and beg him to forgive me.

But I couldn't. My rational mind tried to convince me of that, and it forced me to get up and head back toward my dorm. Yet, when I reached the main entrance, I felt myself turn in a completely different direction. My feet refused to listen to me, and I realized I was walking toward Skye's dorm.

I went up to the floor, where he lived with Alvin, and clenching my jaw, I approached the door. I took a deep breath, bracing myself for whatever was to come—the emotions, the possibility that I might be in a relationship again, that I might have a boyfriend I truly cared about.

I knocked, heard footsteps, and then Alvin opened the door.

"Well, well, look who's here! The fucking mantis who's been breaking guys' hearts all over campus whenever he snaps his fingers."

"I'm looking for Skye," I muttered.

"He hasn't come back to the dorm yet." Alvin's face was icy, his eyes full of hate. "But I'm here, after Don ditched me to chase after you!"

I took a deep breath. "When he gets back, can you tell him I was here and that I really need him to contact me?"

"And why would I do that, fucker?"

"Just please, do it. Just tell him I was here—"

"Tell him you were here for what, exactly?" He tilted his head with an ironic smirk.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

"You've made a mess and want to fix it?" His smile was vitriolic and triumphant.

"Just tell him I was here. That's all."

I left, still holding on to a sliver of hope that I could fix this. I went back to my dorm and lay on my bed. I wasn't just relying on Alvin, though. I texted Skye,

"Can we talk?"

But that night, Skye didn't reply.

I waited, biting my nails, tossing and turning until finally, exhausted from all the stress, I drifted into a restless sleep, full of nightmares where Skye's face mixed with Anton's, razors on the floor, blood on my hands… I woke up shaking.

It was already morning, and the sun was shining outside. Still no word from Skye. No texts. It could be around 10 am. Hesitantly, I texted Alvin to ask if Skye was back, and I got a short reply:

"Skye's still not back."

I froze over the screen.

He didn't come back to the dorm all night? Where could he be? A wave of fear washed over me, but I tried to convince myself he was just out there trying to get back at me. Maybe he hired some escort to fuck him and forget about me. I could live with that. I probably deserved it.

After about an hour of internal struggle, I went to my laptop and wrote him an email, asking to meet up.

I waited another hour, staring at the screen, but… no reply.

It was the second-to-last day of college. Just a few formalities needed to be taken care of before the end of the year. I had to go to the dean's office, but Skye still hadn't contacted me!

I couldn't take it anymore. I was on edge, nervous, restless.

By the afternoon, after visiting the dean's office, I found myself heading back to Skye's dorm.

Yet, I was out of luck again; Alvin opened the door.

This time I tried to peek inside, but I didn't see anyone behind Alvin, I only did catch a glimpse of a large open suitcase on what, I thought, was Archer's bed. That was all I could see. There was no sign of Skye, but his bed was further to the side.

"It's the mantis again," Alvin muttered, stepping out and closing the door behind him. He crossed his arms over his chest, clearly annoyed. "What do you want?"

"Did you tell him to contact me?"

"I did, but he doesn't want to talk to you. He's sleeping right now because he was up all night, totally crushed after the whore he loved dumped him. Give him a break. You messed him up hard, stop playing with the poor guy!"

I clenched my teeth. There was no point in replying, so I just went home and wrote another email to Skye, this time begging even more desperately for a meeting.

But that one went unanswered, too. My only hope now was to see him tomorrow at graduation. It would be my last chance to make amends, to plead with him, to explain.

That evening, I spent hours going over what I should say to him. If he hadn't replied by now, it meant he was really hurt. I had to clear things up between us once and for all. I still believed I could fix this. I was desperately trying to convince myself that the cruel words I'd used to push him away hadn't caused irreversible damage.

Was I fooling myself?

An unnerving thought occurred to me:

Maybe bringing Don into this was crossing a line I should never have crossed.

Don wasn't just some random guy I could use to break up with Skye. He was a rapist. Choosing him over Skye… it was a massive slap in the face. I fucked up, big time.

***

The next day was graduation.

Chaos had taken over the campus since morning. I wasn't sure how I got through it all. The only thing I knew was that during the ceremony, I finally saw Skye. He was standing next to Archer, Gabriel, and Alvin, dressed in a sharp suit. Unfortunately, his family was there too, including a bunch of his brothers, so he was surrounded by a big crowd, like an impenetrable fence.

I have to admit, it made me a bit nervous. Approaching him in front of all those people, who'd definitely be judging me? A beta. Tattooed. Pierced. But if I had no other choice, I'd have to do it. This was my mess to clean up.

I watched him from a distance, but he probably couldn't see me in the crowd. I was desperately looking for a moment when he'd be alone. Finally, after he got his diploma, it happened. He was walking back stiffly, his face pale, his eyes distant. As he turned toward his family with the diploma in his hand, I slipped out from between the other students and blocked his path.

"Skye, can we talk?"

His eyes scanned my face like I was just another meaningless picture he was scrolling by on a screen, and then… the worst happened. He just walked right past me, straight to his parents, who hugged him and congratulated him.

It was like a slap in the face. I almost stumbled.

No, no…

This couldn't be happening.

But why was I so shocked? I deserved this! I had treated him much worse.

So, I stood there like an idiot, staring at them, feeling like some weight was pressing me down. I lost all the courage to approach him again, feeling only pure, raw fear. I realized I had destroyed something beyond repair.

One of his brothers, a really tall guy—maybe that purple alpha, Storm—turned around and gave me an intense look.

I quickly backed away, feeling like there was a thin string stretched between me and Skye, getting tighter and tighter, cutting into my skin, slicing through muscle, shredding bone.

An hour later, back in my dorm, I still felt like everything was unreal. The ground felt shaky under my feet as I unsteadily made my way to the bathroom and threw up. It was sinking in, with every heartbeat, with every breath. Slowly and painfully. I'd pushed Skye away, and this time, permanently.

I looked at my face in the mirror and clenched my teeth.

A rebel in me protested—No, you can't give up!

Skye was probably packing his stuff right now, loading it into his parents' car. Maybe I still had time. Maybe I still had a chance?

I quickly tore off the clothes I wore to graduation, rinsed out my mouth—still tasting the bitterness of vomit—and then ran out of the dorm, sprinting toward Skye's building.

When I got there, I saw the door was open, and a couple of students were carrying things down the stairs. I sped past them, running full tilt, and reached Skye's room. The door was open, and inside, it was empty. No one was there—not Alvin, not Archer, and definitely not Skye.

I rushed to the window, which had a partial view of the parking lot. I saw a few cars driving away, and in the last one, that tall alpha guy was getting in. I frantically tried to open the window, but just as I managed to do it, the door of the car slammed shut, and the vehicle started to pull away.

"No! Wait!" I shouted, but it was too late.

The last car left the lot.

My head was spinning. I looked around the room, helpless, refusing to accept what had just happened. I pulled out my phone and tried to call Skye, but my calls went straight to voicemail.

I glanced at the bed, and on a sudden impulse, I leaned down to check underneath it. I found one of Skye's T-shirts there, one I'd seen him wear a few times. He probably forgot to pack it. I pressed it to my face, inhaling the faint, familiar scent, tears gathering in my eyes. He must have only worn it briefly because the smell was light, but it was enough. My heart was so broken… I broke it myself.

Clutching the shirt in my hand, I returned to my dorm.

It was only when I got back to my room that it really hit me hard, like plunging into icy water, the cold forcing the air out of my lungs. I walked over to the bathroom, laid Skye's shirt on the sink, and stepped into the shower fully clothed, turning on the freezing water.

Too late.

Too fucking late.

This time I'd really blown it. Maybe if I had just told him to leave me alone and walked away, things might have been salvageable. But bringing Don into it—that must have been the final straw. Choosing a predator over him—that was the ultimate stab in his heart.

I'd lost everything all over again.

An hour later, Liam showed up.

He'd just come back from his own graduation ceremony. He found me still in the shower, sitting on the floor, silently crying, numb and in deep shock.

"God, Soren, what's going on with you?" Liam rushed over, looking shaken by the sight of me. He dragged me out of the shower, peeling off my soaked, freezing clothes, and wrapped me in a blanket.

"God, you're practically hypothermic!" He hugged me tight, trying to warm me up with his small body, but it couldn't give me what I really wanted.

"I screwed everything up…" I stammered through chattering teeth. "I told Skye I never wanted to see him again…"

Liam froze for a moment, then quickly turned his head away so I couldn't see his face, but it was too late. I had already caught the look on his face… he was smiling, he was happy! Fucker.

Then he said, "Soren, I know you see it differently now, but you actually made a really smart decision. You two didn't have a future, and it would've only caused you more misery…"

I groaned in pain, feeling a terrible ache in my chest. "No, Liam! That's not what I need to hear from you. I was hoping you'd tell me not to give up and to try to get him back… Be a good friend, support me!"

"No, that wouldn't be ‘being a good friend'. You're not going to get those words from me, Soren. You know how I feel about relationships between betas and alphas—they just don't work!"

I groaned again, even more painfully. "Tell that to my heart, which only wants to fix things with Skye!"

Silence fell between us. It was like an abyss, a gigantic chasm between us. Liam's pale brown eyes looked at me attentively, but didn't see me—what the real me wanted. I knew we would never be on the same page, and I was absolutely sure Liam wasn't the right person to talk to about this, to share what I was feeling.

"Listen, Soren. I'm saying this now, straight to your heart: let it go, let logic win. It's for the best."

Then his hand brushed my cheek, and I knew, I felt what was coming next.

"I've been waiting for this moment too, the one where we're done with college and the future is wide open," Liam whispered. "We've already got our apartment lined up, both starting at the same company. I know it's awful timing, especially since you just pushed Skye away, and it's all so fresh, but I want you to know that I've had feelings for you for years. And I can't hide that I'm hoping we can build something together."

How dare he mention it now? It was almost disrespectful, so inconsiderate of my broken state. I clenched my eyes shut, feeling like I was sinking deeper and deeper beneath the surface of reality, like a noose was tightening around my neck.

Another person, yet another person, who wanted something from me that I couldn't deliver. Giving a fuck to what I felt. I gasped in shock and my eyes widened, but…

Liam must have misread my emotions because he leaned in, and his lips lightly brushed against mine. I shuddered in disgust, but he misinterpreted that too! He must have thought it meant something else because when I opened my eyes, he was smiling.

For some reason, I thought he looked a bit creepy. Almost like he had a sliver of Don's obsessive energy in him. Those fixated eyes, with that sick intensity. Funny enough, Skye stared a lot too, but it was saturated with adoration, not just a need to possess me like an object.

Liam leaned in and tried to kiss me once more, and everything inside me twisted and died a little more. I stiffened in his arms, pursing my lips, more terrified and helpless with each passing second.

I had no escape.

Trapped. Trapped!

I didn't know what to do. I was lost. I didn't want Liam. I wanted Skye, but I realized that every step I had taken in the past six months had led me to this point—to disaster, to the biggest mistake of my life.