7. Ahhhh Choo

Once again, Gold Trim oozed charm and schmoozed us the whole way to our table. He managed to compliment us, brag about the food, and diss Ivy League, while remaining polite and welcoming. His banter was highly polished and was clearly a skill he’d developed over years of service.

“So much for not attracting attention,” Annabeth said to me as we brought up the rear of our group. “That guy was really high strung, though, so I guess there wasn’t any way around making a scene.”

She took my hand in hers and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Speaking of scenes, are you okay? Things really got out of hand with you and Tyler.”

I squeezed her hand back and gave her a warm smile.

“I’m fine. Or at least, I will be. It was just shocking how fast things changed. I can’t be mad at Tyler for being an incubus. That wouldn’t make any sense. He’s just learning and growing like I am, and sometimes that means his powers get out of control.”

I looked at Tyler walking beside Sandy.

“I got a bit overstimulated, though, so I need a bit of space to calm down.”

I was going to say more, but we’d arrived at our destination. Gold Trim had led us past all the regular tables and was seating us at an open cabana. Sandy said we didn’t need the special seating—a regular table was fine—but Gold Trim insisted. He pulled out the chair for Sandy, and then pulled out the chair for John too. He kept up his flowery banter with Sandy, but I noticed he kept touching John and sending admiring glances his way. John stayed his normal friendly self and didn’t seem to notice. Sandy seemed amused by it all.

The table in the cabana was much bigger than we needed. It could have seated ten easily, but John said it gave us more room to spread out. We also kept our four servers, although Sandy said that was way too many. Gold Trim insisted and signaled for one more to join us so we each had our own server. He said that was the absolute lowest level of service he would allow because we deserved much more.

They offered to get our food for us, but the real fun of a buffet was browsing the selection of dishes, so we declined. The server who attached herself to me was called Tami, and she insisted that she carry the plate as we moved along. She had a boyish look, with short hair and a welcoming smile, and we quickly got along.

There were so many things to try that I only put small amounts of each item on my plate. Even so, it quickly filled up, and we started a second one. I could have started a third, but decided to stop and eat what we’d already gathered.

Tyler sat by John and continued to give me space. I loved him for that. How on Earth had I gotten such an understanding boyfriend?

As I ate, my nerves and hormones calmed down. Sugar, carbs, and alcohol hit my system, and soon I was laughing and joking with the rest of our crew. I had a little wine for medicinal purposes, but I mostly enjoyed a Mountain Dew with cherry syrup and a few other ingredients that Tami mixed for me. It was bubbly, fruity, and rich as hell. I loved it.

While we ate, our servers waited a few steps behind us, watching our every move. They were poised to immediately spring into action and provide whatever we needed. At one point, Annabeth shifted her napkin and dropped her fork. Her server actually caught the fork before it hit the ground and immediately provided her with a fresh one.

“Is this how the posh people live?” Annabeth murmured quietly to me at one point. “I’d always thought it would be nice to have a servant do stuff for me, like in those old movies, but now I’m not so sure.”

“I know what you mean,” I murmured back. “It’s hard to relax. I feel like I have to be on my best behavior, or something.”

Tami and I went up to the buffet again, and I loaded up plates three and four. Once again, they went down easy. John was right. It was a good thing we had a larger table, as all of us were eating like we needed to eat two hundred dollars worth, or bust. It wasn’t intentional, but rather that we were all that hungry.

Gold Trim stopped by often to make sure we were taken care of and have another moment with John. Sandy discreetly inquired how much this was costing us, and he grandly told us that our money was no good here. He wasn’t charging us a cent, and we would be his guests for our entire stay at the Palace.

John got a little alarmed and said he didn’t want Gold Trim footing the cost of our dinners. That was going to add up to a lot. Gold Trim swooned at John’s concern and gushed over how thoughtful he was. John wasn’t to worry, as he had a lot of discretion in how to handle affairs at the buffet, and our status gave him enough reason to make sure our meals were taken care of.

I wasn’t hungry any more, but I still had a little room for dessert, so I headed out for my next buffet trip with Tami. I saw several members of team Ivy League, so I guess my third trip had lined up with their second one. We ignored each other, so everything was fine.

At least, it was until their team member with the bitchy face ran right into me. She had been getting her own food on a tray, and when we collided, the tray upended, and all that delicious cuisine smacked into her chest, and then ran down her lovely uniform.

We were both so shocked that we just stared at each other for a moment. There was plenty of room around us, and I’d been facing the other direction and had only just started to move. I’d seen her in my magic sight, of course, but she’d veered at the last moment and put us on a collision course.

She stared down at the food slowly sliding down her outfit as her face became beet red. My stomach dropped out as I looked around quickly for napkins or a hand towel or something.

Her mouth opened, but nothing came out. It was like when a little kid gets hurt and they start silent screaming before they even take a breath. There’s the oh-shit moment when you know they’re going to blow and they’re going to blow big.

“You bastard!” she shrieked. “Look what you’ve done!”

She glared at me with immense fury.

“How dare you do this to me? You little rotten asswipe shithead!”

I started to stammer out an apology, but she was having none of it.

“What? Are your eyes crossed? How can you be so stupid? How are you even walking? Did your two working brain cells dry up and blow out your ass when you farted? Why are you talking to me?”

She got right up in my face.

“Why don’t you just go somewhere and die.”

A few members of her team heard the commotion and came running.

Oh boy. This was going to turn into a major incident.

Or maybe it wasn’t. We’d drawn the attention of a few nearby tables, but nobody looked like they were clutching their pearls and ready to faint. Two of her team members were still headed our way, but the rest of them had seen who it was and had stopped and gone in the other direction.

I looked towards our cabana, but nobody was paying attention. That was the only problem with the fancy tables—they were on the opposite side of this huge room. There were a lot of people talking and eating, so the background level of noise was fairly high. Even with her shrieking at full volume, they still probably couldn’t hear her.

“Tami, why don’t you take my plates and head back to our table,” I said quickly. I didn’t want her caught up with whatever drama might go down. She was just a member of the wait staff after all. She didn’t deserve to have any of Bitch Face’s anger aimed at her. “Let them know what’s going on and see if they can head this way.” Tami nodded gratefully and scurried off.

The two members of Ivy League arrived, and Bitch Face started screaming at them too.

“Where the hell were you?” she laid into the smaller one. “You’re supposed to stay with me and clear out the rats. You weren’t here, so this jackass made a mess. This is your fault, just as much as it is his.”

The smaller one just grimaced, like he was used to being her whipping boy. He started picking the food off of her and wiped it on a nearby plate as she continued to berate him. A server with clean washcloths arrived and began helping him. Then another server arrived and started dealing with the mess on the floor. I’m sure this wasn’t the first spill they’d had to take care of.

Bitch Face looked over at me and seemed to realize I was still standing there. At that moment, I realized I probably should have taken the opportunity to sneak away.

Oops.

“What are you waiting for?” she snapped at the taller team member standing by me. “Duel him already. And make it hurt! Make it a lesson he’ll never forget. Asshole!”

She continued to cuss us out as Tall Guy grabbed my arm and started guiding me away from ground zero. I went with him, as he seemed just as anxious as I was to get out of her vocal range.

Tall Guy seemed older and calmer, and his grip on my arm wasn’t forceful. It was more of a guiding pressure. Although, with everything that had gone down, I sort of felt like a naughty student that was being taken to the principal”s office by a teacher.

“I’m sorry you got caught up in that,” he said. We were walking down the buffet, away from the entrance and farther away from our cabana. “This has been a particularly trying couple of weeks for our team, and she’s a bit high-strung anyway.”

“What’s going on with you all?” I asked. “The guy in the line went batshit crazy too.”

“We recently lost a team member,” he said, “and we lost a major sponsor.”

I opened my mouth to ask more about that, but he quickly interjected.

“This isn’t something I want to talk about. Especially with a first-year House rat.” He glanced up at the star that showed I was a participant in the tournament. “I can’t believe they let someone like you in. They must have lost their damn minds.”

He shook his head in wonder, and before I could say anything, continued again.

“Why the hell did you run into her anyway? Even though you are in the tournament and she can’t duel you, you had to have known her team would step up and take care of the situation.”

“I didn’t run into her,” I replied. “She ran into me. It all happened so fast, but I thought she was going to pass me by. But then she changed direction at the last minute and ran right into me. I can see just by looking at her that she’s high-strung. There’s no way I would want to antagonize her.”

Tall Guy stopped and just stared at me.

“She ran into me,” I insisted, but he just gave me the hairy eyeball.

“I’m trying to figure out if you’re that stupid because you’re so young, or if it’s because you’re in a House.”

Ummm. How do I reply to that?

“Look, kid,” he said, “if someone with more power heads your way, it’s always your responsibility to get the hell out of their way. You’re only a first year, so you should have felt her presence and given her a wide berth. You should always be aware of everyone around you and be prepared to react to any situation that may arise.”

“That can’t be right,” I protested. “She ran into me when I wasn’t even moving. I know she has more power, but I’m still a human being. People don’t just run into others.”

“You’re not a person,” Tall Guy snapped. “You’re a mage. And you’re barely that. You’re a first year, and your power is so low I can’t feel any presence coming off of you at all. If you didn’t have your stats listed, I probably wouldn’t even think you were a supernatural.

“Which means that every person here at this event outranks you. If a mage wants your spot, you better move. If they want your place in line, it’s theirs to take. If they want the clothes on your back, you give it to them. If they want you to jump, you start jumping right away before you ask them how high.”

He got right up in my face.

“You’re a little tiny minnow in a big pond. Your first-year goal should be to swim as fast as possible and not get eaten. I’m trying to do you a favor here. I had someone give me this talk when I was young, and it got me straightened out. I survived, and today I’m in a good position. I have a school to protect me, teachers to train me, and teammates to support me. One day, if you’re lucky, you’ll have that too.”

I still felt like I was being told off by the teacher, and I was finding it a little intimidating. I swallowed hard and checked out his stats. He was eighty-nine years old and followed the Path of the Flowering Vine. He had a lot of other stuff listed, but those were the only things that jumped out at me.

I felt like this guy wasn’t a bad person. In his own way, he was trying to help me. I understood what he was warning me about. On the other hand, I felt stubborn. People shouldn’t just run into someone. Just because someone could be mean to someone else doesn’t mean they should be.

I got that the supernatural world was built on strength, but it was still a society. And politeness and courtesy were the lubes that keep society running. As a gay man, I knew the importance of lube. When it runs out, the good times stop. And nobody wants that.

I guess my face showed what I was thinking, as Tall Guy leaned back and sighed.

“I’m updating my opinion of you. You’re both young AND stupid.”

He sighed again.

“Well, I can’t say I didn’t try. Maybe this duel will knock some sense into you.”

He looked at me expectantly. I wasn’t sure what he wanted, so I just stared back.

“Summon your attendant, boy. I don’t have all day.”

“Oh? You mean Tock?” I asked. Then I felt silly. Of course he meant Tock.

“Tock,” I called aloud. “I need you.”

Tock popped into being on my right shoulder. “I’m here, young master. How may I help?”

Then he caught sight of Tall Guy staring at me.

“Oh! What’s going on?”

“Haven’t you declared a duel before?” Tall Guy ignored Tock and continued to talk to me.

“Not like this,” I said, shaking my head. I was going to say more, but then I figured the less I said about my lack of experience, the better.

“Well, that certainly explains the attitude,” Tall Guy said. “It’s in for an adjustment today. Just keep in mind what I told you. Keep your head down and hope you survive.”

Tall Guy then turned to Tock.

“I’m officially declaring a duel of honor with this mage. He ran into my teammate and ruined her uniform, thereby causing her undue distress on the night before the start of the tournament. Since tournament participants are not allowed to duel directly, I am officially acting as her champion. This duel will be complete when her honor has been avenged.”

Tock flew off my shoulder and stared at me with big eyes. “Oh, Jason. What have you gotten yourself into?”

Then he reluctantly turned to Tall Guy. “The duel has been declared and recorded. You may now proceed directly to the nearest dueling chamber.”

Tall Guy grabbed my arm again, and we continued walking to the back of the buffet area. For the first time, I noticed a space about the size of a living room enclosed in glass. Actually, it was more like a ten-foot cube, and there were two beefy security-guard-looking people on either end of it. They had on black pants, black jackets, white shirts, and black ties. The only thing they were missing from the Men in Black movies were the cool shades. Despite that, they managed to look tough and capable. Their broad shoulders and thick muscles said they could break you in half with one hand while thumbing through the feed on their phones with the other.

“Jason, what happened?” Tock asked anxiously as he fluttered in front of me. I gave him a quick summary of the situation.

“Oh, Jason!” he wailed anxiously. “This is just awful. And it’s the night before the tournament. There won’t be any time for you to heal before it starts. And I was so hoping that you would have a good first showing. Now it’s all going to be ruined.”

“I think I will be okay,” I replied soothingly. Sure, this guy was much older than me, but I’d fought older mages in the Exchange of Reconciliation with Ken’s school. This guy used the Path of the Flowering Vine, which was unknown to me, but I felt like I could handle it.

“Oh, Jason,” Tock said as he continued to circle anxiously. “I know you feel confident. It’s normal to feel invincible when you’re young. But you’re just a first year. More than that, you belong to a House.”

He gazed at me with worried eyes.

“I don’t want to put you down at all. You are an extraordinary young mage, and you’ve already done so much for me. But everyone knows that House mages can’t fight.”

“Really?” I laughed. “Have a little faith. Maybe you’ll be surprised.”

Tock tried to look hopeful, but he didn’t succeed very well.

“Why don’t you pop back to our table and let the others know what is going on and where we’re at.”

Tock flew away as I got a bit of side-eye from Tall Guy. He’d heard everything I’d said, of course, and he seemed both amused and exasperated by my confidence.

I was going to get battle ready, but we’d arrived at the glass cube. Tall Guy nodded at the two Men in Black and headed toward one side of the cube. I kept following him.

Once he saw what I was doing, he stopped.

“Where are you going?” he snapped. “Go to the other side. You have your own door.” Then he started walking again. He tapped wrists with the Man in Black outside his door and stepped inside. I figured I needed to do the same, so I walked towards the other Man in Black.

“First time?” he asked as we tapped Bank Stamps. I nodded.

He chuckled. “I remember my first time. I was bloody for days. Is a member of your team coming to collect you?”

“Yes,” I replied. “They have been notified and should be here shortly.”

“Excellent,” he replied. “When you fall, it is your team”s responsibility to remove you. If the dueling chamber is needed before then, I will drag you out myself. Should that be necessary, your team will incur a small fine.”

His face lit up slightly, and he suddenly looked moderately hopeful. “I can also provide resuscitation services for a small fee. Payable up front, of course. I’m familiar with all levels of first aid including tourniquets and setting broken bones. Would you or your team like to engage my services?”

“No, thank you,” I replied politely, and his expression settled back to neutral boredom. He gestured towards the door, then looked away. I’m sure he’d seen so many duels they didn’t interest him any more.

I opened the door and stepped inside.

The referee hadn’t arrived yet, but Tall Guy was already getting battle ready. He had vines growing out of his body, and they were already climbing along the walls and creeping across the floor. I guess this was his Path getting ready for action.

I needed to get battle ready too, so I called my little creations, and they flew out of me and got into position.

It used to be that it took me a while to get my creations together. I’d needed to imagine each one, fill them with magic, and give them directions. I’d put my time in the cave when I was buried alive to good use, though, and now my creations lived inside me. They were also much more detailed and powerful than before.

My Flasher flew up above my head, ready to light up the room. My Basher flew over to Tall Guy’s side of the chamber, ready to trigger his shield charm. My Belcher swam over to him, sucking in air. I had ten Surfer Dudes, fully loaded with magic, and they flew over to his side too. Their job was to deflect any projectiles, like arrows or fireballs.

I hadn’t premade any of my other creations, like Miners or Ass Blaster 2000s, but they weren’t really battle creations, so I shouldn’t need them at a moment”s notice. If they came into play, then that meant I was in some sort of long-term hostile situation. If so, that would suck. I hoped to never ever be buried in stone again!

I settled into my pigeon stance and looked at the mess of vines on the floor. I needed to be careful, as they were going to be a trip hazard. Actually, if he could control the vines, they were probably going to try and tangle up my feet and bring me down. Fortunately, I had a cure for that.

‘Red, you ready?’ I called. ‘I might need the Hex Network for more than defense. We might need to burn through some magic, just like we did with the Lagerel hedges.’

‘I’m ready!’ he called back, and I felt a flash of excitement flow through my Hex Network. ‘We’re ready! We’re so ready! We’re King Kong! We’re going to spank that bastard!’

I loved Red’s enthusiasm. He was always excited. Whatever I needed, he couldn’t wait to make it happen. My Hexes had the ultimate can-do attitude, which was awesome considering they were my primary defense. Not getting hurt too badly was a life goal of mine.

I checked in with Bermuda. He was in my Throne Room, dozing on his big cat bed. He didn’t seem concerned, so I let him be. If the fight started going sideways, he could always join in then.

I was ready. It seemed like Tall Guy was ready. Where was the referee?

I thought Tall Guy was done, but then his vines started growing flowers. I guess that made sense, as he was on the Path of the Flowering Vine. They were actually pretty, although they seemed awfully big—almost like giant orange lilies. They were wider than both of my hands put together, and the center looked like it was filled with Cheeto dust. Weird.

I started getting a little nervous as the flowers grew all around me, but Tall Guy seemed relaxed, and the referee wasn’t here. I shifted on my feet and stayed loose. Maybe one of the Men in Black was going to yell “Go!” or something like that.

Suddenly, all the flowers bunched up, and then they sneezed!

There wasn’t any other way to describe it. I swear I heard them go “Ahhh Choo!”

All that Cheeto dust exploded out of their centers, and suddenly, I was covered in a thick layer of orange pollen.

That stuff went all over me. It covered my eyes, muffled my ears, and got all over my clothes. It was up to five inches thick in some places, and I quickly discovered it had more in common with sticky tar than with snow.

I thought pollen would be light and fluffy, like white dandelion seeds that float away on the wind. This stuff was gooey. And now it was on me, it smelled nasty.

Once I got over being surprised, I felt pissed off. That shithead had attacked me! If he thought some icky stuff was going to slow me down, he had another thing coming.

I still had my magic sight, so I could see him clearly. My hearing was muffled, but I didn’t need that to attack. The pollen was nasty, but flexible, so I could move just fine.

Nobody had officially started the match, but since he’d attacked me already, I figured the battle was on! I was ready to trigger my Flasher to blind him and my Basher to lock him down, when Tall Guy stepped back and gave a small bow.

“This match is over,” he declared. “The honor for which I fought has been avenged.”

He sucked all the magic out of his vines, and they crumbled to dust. Then he opened his door and left.

What the hell?

I felt like a racehorse that had never left the starting gate. My Kentucky Derby moment had come and gone. The winner had been declared, and I was still standing there, confused.

Actually, I guess I should have felt grateful?

We hadn’t really fought in the traditional sense. We hadn’t traded blows, and nobody had been hurt. I looked like a giant cheese puff with arms, and my clothes were probably ruined, but maybe that was what he’d been after. Bitch Face was wearing her dinner, and now I was a walking traffic cone. Even-steven.

‘I don’t think it’s that simple,’ my Analytical Side spoke up. ‘I’m sensing malicious magic in this orange stuff. It reminds me a bit of the acidic effect from the rotten mages. It’s nowhere near that bad, of course, but I can still see it lightly eating away at your shirt.’

‘Oh crap!’ I took a few quick breaths to keep from panicking. I’d just recovered from having my back and my feet eaten away by rotten magic. It had been a painful, horrible experience, and I wanted nothing to do with any corrosive magic for a long time.

‘Red, how are you doing?’ Despite what my Analytical Side said, I wasn’t feeling any ill effects. My skin wasn’t burning or itching, and I felt normal.

‘We’re doing great!’ He came back with his trademark enthusiasm. ‘We saw the flower spit from a mile away! You didn’t give us four eyes and echolocation for nothing. We stopped that shit before it even touched you. Not today, Satan!’

‘Excellent!’ I replied. ‘How are you holding up against the magic in the flower spit? It seems like it’s acidic.’

My Hex shield was still fairly new, and it had gotten overwhelmed when I’d fought Karl.

‘It’s all good,’ Red replied. ‘We’re doing a slow drain and vent. Just like snot out of a baby’s nose. Or like we did with the Lagerel hedges, only more low key.’

‘That sounds good,’ I said. ‘Go ahead and kick it into high gear. Once this magic is nullified, I’ll have the Surfer Dudes get it off me.’

The Hex Network went to work, draining the hostile magic from the spores and venting it out as light. I always loved that part. I was too covered up for anyone to see, but I shone like a Christmas tree with red, blue, green, amber, opal, purple, and turquoise lights. My Hexes were the most colorful soul creations I’d made.

‘Okay,’ I told my Analytical Side. ‘It seems like all is well. I need to clean up this mess, but overall, it wasn’t too bad. I was afraid these Paths were going to be game changers and we’d be outclassed.’

‘You need to rethink that,’my Analytical Side said. ‘You have an unusual shield and it protected you well, but this could have turned out very differently. If this stuff had started itching, you”d have started spreading it under your clothes and all over your body. Without Red, it”s probable that right now your junk would feel like it was on fire, and you wouldn’t get any Tyler time for a long time.’

Oh. That wasn”t a nice thought.

‘And that”s just your regular problems. What happens when this gets in your eyes? You could have been blinded. What happens when this gets up your nose or into your lungs? It’s possible you wouldn’t be able to breathe. You might have died.’

He paused to let that sink in.

‘I think you need to be very careful of mages with Paths. It could allow them to attack in creative and unexpected ways. Just because something doesn’t sound deadly doesn’t mean it can’t bring you to your knees.’

‘Message received,’ I said soberly as I took his message to heart. Magic could do anything. So by extension, supernaturals could attack and defend in all kinds of ways.

I’d hated my time in the cave, buried in the stone floor, but I’d grown through the experience, and some of the changes I’d made then were saving me now. I’d had Red protect my nose and mouth from any airborne particles. A sneeze at that time could have killed me. Now that change was protecting me from breathing in all this orange irritant. I’d already given Red his orders, but still took a moment to send a pulse of gratitude out to all my Hexagons.

Now that I knew just how nefarious Tall Guy’s attack had been, I felt like there needed to be some sort of pushback. If Annabeth or Sandy had been hit by this guy, the results would have been very different.

‘Belcher, go find Bitch Face and put her on blast,’ I said. ‘That should piss her off even more, and I’m sure some of that will spill over on Tall Guy.’

My Belcher, who was basically a blowfish in reverse, blinked in acknowledgment and swam away. Next I turned to my Flasher.

‘Go and find Tall Guy. Wait until he’s focused on something, and then light him up.’

The little firefly twinkled in response and flew away. I knew it was petty, but I felt better. I wasn’t actually attacking them, so I shouldn’t be breaking any rules. I was just causing light and sound to happen in their general vicinity. If that happened to upset them, then good!

The Man in Black on my side knocked on the door.

“Your duel is over,” he said in a bored voice. “It’s time for you to leave. If you cannot exit under your own power, I am authorized to remove you for a small fee.”

I wasn’t clean yet, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to pay him anything. I quickly opened the door and left the dueling chamber. I thought about giving him a hug, or a pat on the back, but my common sense quickly asserted itself. I didn’t need anyone else upset at me.

When my MIB saw I’d been flower slimed, he quickly backed up.

“Get away from me!” he snapped. “I don’t care where you go, but you can’t hang around here.”

I left a trail of orange slime behind me as I did the Cheeto shuffle away from the chamber. Fortunately, I was met by Sandy and the crew as well as our wait staff.

“What the hell happened to you?” John asked, and I gave them an abbreviated version of the story while our servers ran to get cleaning supplies.

The response was not what I expected, as John started laughing.

“You owe me fifty bucks!” he said to Tyler. Then he started doing a victory dance.

“What the hell?” I snapped. This was hardly the time to be cheerful. I looked like a traffic cone, for Pete’s sake.

“John bet me ten bucks you’d get into some sort of trouble within twenty-four hours of our arrival,” Tyler said. He sounded slightly embarrassed.

“Called it!” John crowed.

“That’s only ten bucks,” Annabeth noted. “You said he owed fifty.”

“John further bet that somehow Jason would end up ruining his clothes,” Tyler replied.

“Ta da!” John gestured at my orange-covered form. “Called it again!”

He was so happy, I couldn’t help myself and started laughing. John wasn’t wrong—I did seem to end up in trouble somehow. And it did seem like my clothes got ruined in the process. I could either cry about it, or laugh at the absurdity of it all.

And laughing was a lot more fun.

Sandy smacked John’s arm and told him to behave, but she started chuckling too. I knew I looked ridiculous, and it wasn’t long before everyone was enjoying the humor in the situation.

“Orange you glad we’re here?” John joked. “What would you do without us?”

“Yes, of course. You bring a lot of zest to my life,” I fired back.

“Seriously, though. Are you okay? Are you bleeding anywhere?” John asked.

“Finally, a real question,” Sandy said, sounding concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I was just checking to see if he was a blood orange,” John interjected.

We all laughed and groaned, and Sandy smacked John. Twice.

Then I heard a “brRRRRAAAAAAAAWWWWWWP” in the distance and the sound of another dropped tray. Immediately, my heart felt lighter. Then I felt my Flasher spark, and everyone gasped. My eyes were still covered with flower spit, so I couldn’t physically see the flash, but based on my crew”s reaction, it had been epic.

I smiled. My night was now complete.

Our servers returned with two garbage bags and wet towels. Everyone moved to help me clean off, but I quickly jumped back.

“Don’t touch any of the orange stuff,” I said. “You’ll get hurt. Give me a minute, and I’ll take care of it.”

I called for my Surfer Dudes, and they got to work rolling the orange stuff up into compact little balls and dropping them into the garbage bags. The servers held the bags open, and the cleanup happened pretty quickly. My Dudes were the fastest creations I had, and they were moving at top speed. We had to pause, though, when the orange balls started melting through the garbage bags.

I think maybe the others hadn’t realized just how bad the orange stuff was, so when the garbage bags started melting, that got a reaction. The waiters hurried off again, and this time they came back with metal trash cans. That did the trick, and the cleanup got back into gear.

After the Dudes cleared off most of the pollen, I very carefully peeled off my shirt and pants and put them in the garbage. That’s when I realized it wasn’t just my clothes—it had ruined my shoes too. That really sucked. I liked my shoes, and I only had one spare pair.

I debated about my underwear. I’d tried to be as careful as possible with the cleanup, but even so, a lot of the orange stuff had dripped onto them. I really didn’t want to walk around in my birthday suit, though. Tami solved the problem by draping me in a large tablecloth. The fabric was actually quite nice, and she turned the whole thing into a gown. I have no idea how she did it, but when she’d finished folding and tying it around me, it transformed into a beautiful dress, like you’d see on the red carpet.

I loved it and gave it a twirl. Then I had fun sashaying down an imaginary runway all the way back to our cabana.

I still had food to eat, so I got back into the role of diner and had a lovely time. Despite how cheerful John was, he let slip that he and Tyler were going to hunt down Tall Guy, Bitch Face, and anyone else that wanted in on the action and teach them a lesson.

I quickly squashed that notion. I appreciated that they wanted to stick up for me, but we were here to win a tournament and make some pearls. We needed to stay focused on that.

“I also want to remind everyone that the standard guest rules of conduct apply,” Tock interjected. He seemed very alarmed with John’s plan.

“And what would those rules be?” John asked. Tock looked at him in surprise, and then quickly recovered.

“I keep forgetting that you have not ventured out of your House before,” Tock apologized and bowed with a sweeping gesture that included us all. “I’m sure that customs underground are different from what will apply here.”

Annabeth caught my eye and grinned. She thought Tock’s skewed perception of House life was funny as heck.

“Please remember that all disputes must be officially registered with a concierge, and all fighting must happen in a dueling chamber. This is to protect your fellow guests as well as to prevent any damage to the Palace. As a bonus, these duels are also sanctioned matches, so the Bank will update your Power Rating.”

‘That makes sense,’ my Analytical Side spoke up. ‘I’m sure before the dueling chambers, offensive spells could fly into other supernaturals and pull them into the fight. I’m also sure it caused a lot of property damage. It was probably like those bar fights in a saloon in the old west. It would start out with two people fighting, and before long, everyone was smashing bottles over people’s heads and wrecking the place.’

“I’m curious, though,” John said. “What happens if we are attacked by another team in the hallway? We’ve gotten a lot of weird looks, and it”s obvious the House is not well liked, so it could happen.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re safe from a group brawl,” Tock said confidently. “After all, any damage done to the property is paid for by the signature party.”

We all looked at each other in confusion.

“What’s the signature party?” John asked.

“It’s the party whose magical signature is on the damage,” Tock explained. “So John, if you got angry and punched a hole in the wall, your magical signature would be all over the damage. Housekeeping would scan the hole, link it to your signature, and then the Palace would debit your account for repairs.”

“That makes sense,” John agreed.

“Who would get billed if John picked someone up and threw them into a wall?” Tyler asked. “There would still be a hole, but it wouldn’t be John’s signature on the damage.”

“In that unlikely scenario, the person who hit the wall would be charged for the damage,” Tock said. “I know that doesn’t sound fair, but the rules are simple for a reason.”

John and Tyler exchanged grins. If we got attacked in the hallway, I was sure those two would have our attackers bouncing off the walls in no time. It also meant that Sandy would have to be very careful. She couldn’t just burn the place down.

“What would happen if two people’s signatures were on the damage?” I asked. “Say if someone knocks over a vase, I try to save it, but it still hits the floor.”

“In that case, the cost for the vase would be split between the two parties,” Tock explained. “The best course of action, though, would be to not go anywhere near the vase. And if there is a fight, don’t go near it. You’re much better to stay out of the way and let someone else pay the fines. In the unlikely event you are going to be caught up in some altercation, you need to run toward any of the security personnel. They are there to enforce the rules and prevent any damage to the Palace. They should stop the attacker and make sure an official duel is declared.”

That sounded like good advice to me. At least then I’d be able to take on my attackers one by one.

“I have a question relating to Jason’s duel,” Sandy spoke up. “Where was the referee?”

“The referee?” Tock looked confused. “There isn’t one.”

He saw our confused looks and hurried to explain.

“Personal duels in the dueling chambers do not have referees. Announcers and referees are only used for the larger, professional tournaments.” He turned to me. “Hold on—is that why you didn’t do anything? You were waiting on a referee?”

He sounded incredulous.

“All of the structured fights I’ve had up to this point have had referees,” I replied defensively. I felt a bit stupid that I hadn’t reacted sooner. “So, without a ref, who starts the duel?”

“You do,” Tock replied, like it was self-evident. “You can start setting up as soon as you go through the door. If your opponent is already there, you can start attacking right away. Most mages require some sort of setup, though, so it’s a good idea to get into the dueling chamber first.”

“So I should have run to the door, gotten into the chamber first, and then punched his lights out as soon as he stepped inside?” I was suddenly seeing my match in a whole new light. Tall Guy had certainly taken advantage of my ignorance. He’d had lots of time to set up and make his flowers. I could have ended the fight before he’d even gotten started.

“If your attack is that powerful, then that would have been a good strategy,” Tock replied.

“When is the fight over?” Sandy questioned again.

“It’s over when both fighters say it’s over,” Tock replied. “Or, if one contestant can’t speak, then the other contestant can declare victory by default. In your case, Jason, your opponent declared victory, and you didn’t declare your intention to keep fighting. So he won.”

The conversation kept going, but I sat there feeling stupid. It all made so much sense now. I’d thought we were going to show up and blow these mages away with how good we were. Instead, I’d lost my first fight. It hadn’t been a bad loss, as it could have been so much worse, but it wasn’t a win either.

In some ways, I felt like the Clampetts from The Beverly Hillbillies. We were in a new town with new rules and a whole new way of doing things. On the other hand, the Palace, for all its size and beauty, didn’t compare to the Gathering. This place was a trashy streetwalker compared to the stately elegance of House Atayk. Or maybe I was just biased.

I chuckled internally and finished my meal. We got a final visit from Gold Trim, who fawned all over us, but especially John, and made us promise to come back tomorrow for breakfast. He couldn’t guarantee us another cabana, but he could promise us the best service and food in town.

The women were feeling awake and full of energy, so they decided to go to the spa and take advantage of the opening night special. I was wearing a tablecloth and needed to go to our room. Since John was the only other one that could generate a presence, he went with me and Tyler. He made it clear, though, that he was feeling feisty too, and he wanted to get his drink on. Or, as he called it, “going to the watering hole to gather intelligence.”

Sandy just laughed and gave him a fond kiss as we parted ways. The trip to the room took longer than expected—at least twenty minutes. I walked as fast as I could, but I didn’t want to run. I was still barefoot and this ‘dress’ was only held together with tucks and knots. If I pushed it too hard, it was going to fall apart.

The suite itself was very nice. There was one large space with kitchen and entertainment options. The wall to the outside was floor to ceiling glass, and I’m sure the view was lovely during the day. Since it was the middle of the night, there wasn’t much to see. There were three bedrooms off of the sitting room—all of which were identical. John staked out one for him and Sandy, we put Annabeth’s suitcase in the second, and Tyler and I took the last one.

John yelled that we had twenty minutes to get ready, but I’d already slammed the bedroom door and pulled off my tablecloth gown.

“I’m so sorry about earlier,” Tyler said anxiously. “Are you okay?”

“No talking,” I commanded as my lust exploded. “I want your dick. Now!”

Tyler just grinned, and between one breath and the next, he was naked and getting hard.

Things were finally looking up! Pun intended.

I was supposed to be having a shower and getting clean, but we never made it that far. The shower wasn’t as nice as my walk-through one at home anyway, so I wasn’t missing anything.

I’d been lusting for Tyler ever since he kissed me in the House at the start of our journey, and now I finally had him.

I kissed him like he was air and I was drowning.

I clung to him like he was my life raft on the deep blue ocean.

I inhaled his manly scent and moaned with pleasure.

I shivered at his touch and thrilled at the power of his body.

We took it to the floor, and I guess he was even more ready than I was, as he came first. I loved feeling him shake and moan on me, and I came soon after.

After that, it was like a ping pong match as we put our supernatural bodies to good use and made like two rabbits on a spring morning. It was glorious, despite the fact that John started yelling out a countdown as we got close to his twenty-minute deadline.

Tyler yelled back that we needed another ten minutes, and somehow the extra time was enough. I guess this was our version of a quickie.

At some point we”d made it from the floor to the bed, so when my engine finally ran out of gas, I was in a good place.

I felt sated, content, and relaxed.

“Are you ready to go?” Tyler asked.

I shook my head.

“I think I”m going to stay here.”

Tyler looked like he was going to protest, so I gave him a kiss instead. I felt good right now, and I wanted to end the day on a happy note.

“Go and have fun with John. I”ll be just fine right here.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, searching my eyes to make sure I was really okay.

“Positive,” I smiled back.

Then I felt the bed bounce a bit as Mr. Tubbles joined us. I guess he was staying in tonight as well. He wandered up to Tyler’s pillow, turned around a few times, and settled down with a happy sigh.

“Okay,” Tyler said and kissed me goodbye. Then he leaned over and kissed Mr. Tubbles.

“You two take care of each other,” he said happily as he flashed on some clothes and left our bedroom. I could hear him and John already starting to kick it into fun gear as they left the suite.

I was Tyler’s boyfriend, and hopefully the biggest positive influence in his life, but John was a close second. John brought out Tyler’s playful side, which was so fun to see, and I think Tyler enjoyed having an older male figure to hang out with.

I rolled over to give Mr. Tubbles a little lovin’ when Bermuda jumped out of my Throne Room/kitty palace and joined us. He’d been napping a lot, so he was ready to wake up and play!

I made him a couple Feather Dots, and it wasn’t long before the chase was on. Mr. Tubbles decided sleep could wait, so I made him a Bedazzle Dot and he joined in the fun. I took a shower while the two of them tore through the bedroom.

Bermuda was full of young energy, and he didn’t mess around. I’d left the bathroom door open, and at one point Bermuda dashed into the shower, up the wall, and back out again—almost before the water hit him. I’d forgotten to put a limit on the Feather Dots, so they were taking full advantage of the space.

I dried off, flicked on the ceiling fan in the bedroom, and settled into bed. Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles finished playing and settled in beside me. I was in a strange place in a strange bedroom, but having them here made it feel like home. It was nice having a moment of comfort and relaxation. Tomorrow was going to be a big day. With that thought in mind, I fell asleep.