1. Musketeer

To my surprise and delight, Sandy had themed our celebration dinner upon the traditional Thanksgiving holiday. We were all grateful that we were safe and healthy, so it seemed like an excellent choice. She was using her new stasis trays, which kept the food fresh and hot. She told us multiple times how wonderful it was not to have to worry about scheduling the cooking so everything was ready at the same time. Now she could just cook in whatever order she wanted.

The only thing she had to worry about was John, who constantly picked at the food. She threatened him with a nasty rap upside the head with her wooden spoon. He tried to be good, but the aroma was so tantalizing it wasn’t long before he was stealing food once again.

We had all the traditional Thanksgiving food: turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, green beans, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce. She also prepared a few extras like portobello mushrooms stuffed with cream cheese and some sort of grilled brussels sprouts dish that had a bit of an Asian flair. She’d also made a pecan pie and a pumpkin pie.

For a normal household of five, that would have been way too much food, but we weren’t normal. I was still eating like a bottomless pit, as I was trying to get my weight back, and Tyler and John ate like heifers anyway. Even Annabeth could pack it away, and we certainly didn’t hold back.

Sandy’s regular cooking was insanely good, but when she went all out, it was like dining with the gods. Since we couldn’t even try to match her food, we showed up with drinks, and that got the party started right. John brought his famous ale, and Annabeth brought a bourbon she’d stashed away for a special occasion. I brought a selection of red and white wines from my kitchen, and Tyler brought a choice of sodas and rums. He said we could drink them straight if we wanted, but they were really there for us to mix together.

Sandy was going to say a few words at the beginning of the meal, but John wasn’t having it. He said that if she didn’t start the celebration right now, he was going to eat her and nobody would blame him. I’m sure we all looked like we could pick her bones clean in seconds, so she just sighed, smiled, and invited us to get started.

Hours later, when we were done, the turkey looked like it had been thrown into the Amazon river and devoured by piranhas. The pies had a bit of crust left at the bottom of the pan, but that was it. I ate every stuffed mushroom I could get my hands on. They were so juicy the melted cream cheese ran down my chin. John looked like he wanted to say something naughty about that, but he couldn’t stop chewing on his own dinner long enough to get it out.

The only things left were some mashed potatoes and gravy. Even the dressing was gone. If I included the Gathering, this was one of the top five meals of my life. The food, the friends, the occasion—everything was perfect.

Eggy wasn’t eating, of course, but he didn’t want to be left out either. He’d also gotten into the Thanksgiving theme with a beautiful arrangement of fall colors. He sported lots of orange, yellow, and red flowers, and had arranged them like a turkey tail. John had even poured a little of his special ale into Eggy’s vase to make sure he was included in the celebration. It was the thought that counted, and Eggy seemed very happy.

We weren’t the only ones in the room enjoying a feast. Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles joined us, and together with Sandy’s two cats, Snowy and Biscuit, they had their own night to remember. Sandy had made some protein-heavy dishes for them, and they all feasted, napped, and went back for seconds. Now they were all back to napping again. Full bellies make for tired eyes.

“Thank you very much for coming over tonight,” Sandy said after she got to her feet, her plate as empty as the rest of ours.

“You know we wouldn’t miss it, love,” John rumbled. Then he let out a large belch.

We all chimed in with how wonderful the evening had been and how marvelous it was to be here.

“When I first became Head of House Louisville, I never imagined it would be this exciting, or that I’d meet such amazing people,” Sandy said. “We’ve been through so much together, and now I can’t imagine my life without everyone here.”

She paused and gave Annabeth, Tyler, and me heartfelt looks.

“There is a saying that you are the company you keep. If that is true, then I am kind and courageous like Annabeth, curious and insightful like Jason, and wise and caring like Tyler.”

“To the company we keep!” John called the toast, and we all cheered.

“Most of all, I’m a happy woman because of my husband and best friend, John. You make my world lighter and brighter every moment I’m with you.”

“To happy women!” Tyler called the toast this time, and we all cheered and drank again. I didn’t think this was going exactly how Sandy intended, but it sure was a lot of fun.

“We’ve survived Isobel, a full assault on our House, rotten mages, and Victor’s House challenge. We didn’t come away unscathed, but we came away stronger. Now we are gathered here tonight, alive and victorious.”

“To victory!” John toasted again.

If Sandy kept talking and John kept toasting, we were all going to end up passed out on the floor.

“And now we are finally in a good place, I must admit I’m looking forward to getting back to normal. Not living under the threat of attack has been wonderful. I have so many things I want to get up to, and I’m sure you all do, too.”

“To getting back to normal!” John toasted.

Uh oh.

I shot a glance at Annabeth, and she shot a worried look back. Had Sandy just jinxed us?

The doorbell rang.

We all looked at each other, but nobody moved. Our bellies were full, and our brains were buzzed. This wasn’t a good time for clear thinking or quick action.

After a long pause, we all put down our glasses, and a resigned look flashed across Sandy’s face. John got to his feet, and we all followed suit. Whatever this was, we’d face it together.

The door to Sandy’s apartment flew open, and a magnificently dressed fellow walked inside. My first thought was that he was D”artagnan from the Three Musketeers come to life. He had a wide-brimmed hat that sported long, white feathers, a rich blue cloak, poofy pants, and expensive leather boots.

What really brought it all together was the sword at his side, which glowed with power. He certainly had a flair for the dramatic, and I’d have thought his clothes were rented from a costume shop, except that he also glowed with power.

His presence filled the room, pushing against my aura. Whoever this was, he had real power. He wasn’t just a poser.

“House Louisville, I presume?” he said loftily, and we all nodded.

“I am Rene Perrin, Exchequer for the Bank, Jonah division, and I am here to collect the obligation of two million pearls.”

He struck a pose, letting us take in his magnificent outfit and shoulder length, silky hair. He was a peacock, in the grandest sense of the word, and he made sure he had our attention by doubling the pressure of his aura.

I’d faced spiritual pressure like this before, so I wasn’t completely surprised. The Grand Matron had used it more than once at the Gathering to get everyone’s attention. My favorite time had been when Sandy had set a few mages on fire when we’d done our little light and heat show in the Oval. I still had fond memories of that event. This guy was no Grand Matron, but he wasn’t a slouch either.

I upgraded my opinion of just how powerful he was when Tyler, John, and Annabeth gasped and collapsed back onto their chairs. Sandy staggered, but stayed standing, and John soon joined her, although he looked a bit unsteady.

I loved a good entrance and this guy brought the drama, but I wasn’t happy with how he was pushing so strongly. Since I seemed to be the least affected, I stepped forward and addressed our unusual visitor.

“Gurl, you look fabulous. And you are certainly setting the scene. Your lighting is just a little too bright for us, though, and we’ve just finished a lovely dinner. So how about you tone it down a bit and tell us what’s got your panties in a bunch?”

That came out a bit sassier than I wanted. This guy did have a sword after all. I guess I was a little more tipsy than I thought.

He stared at me and made it clear from his sour expression he didn’t like my tone.

“I am from the Bank,” he ground out, “and I have been ignored. It is not wise to refuse a summons from the Bank. When I’m ignored, I have to make a House call. And I don’t like to make House calls.”

He put his hand on his sword and increased the spiritual pressure even more.

“Whoa, Nelly,” I told him placatingly. “No need to bust a gasket. We get that you”re strong and all. How about you calm down and explain yourself?”

I meant to sound calm and soothing, but even I could hear my Anna Lykit showing. I felt ready to give him three snaps in a Z formation and back his flamboyant ass up.

His grip tightened on his sword as he ramped up the pressure even more. I could see with my magic sight that Annabeth was about ready to pass out, and Tyler wasn’t far behind. John staggered back once more, leaving only Sandy facing the pressure with me, though even she was looking ill.

All of this only caused me to feel more stubborn, and things would probably only have escalated if Bermuda hadn’t woken up. The peacock and I glared at each other as Bermuda gave a huge yawn that looked like it folded his face in half. Then he gave a front stretch, a back stretch, and hopped off the couch.

Rene broke eye contact to glance down at Bermuda, and then over at the other fur babies. They were starting to wake up too.

“I don’t like cats,” he snapped. “Their fur gets everywhere, so keep them away from me. Now, summon your Head of House, boy, before I lose my patience.”

He made like he was going to step forward and draw his sword.

Bermuda growled at him.

It wasn’t the house-shaking growl like he’d done at the Gathering, but it was loud enough to put Rene on notice.

He paused, looking at Bermuda in disbelief. Then he stepped forward anyway.

Only to have the floor vanish beneath him.

The look of surprise on his face as he fell through was priceless. I couldn’t keep myself from laughing, although that wasn’t exactly helping the situation.

As soon as the floor closed behind him, the spiritual pressure vanished. Tyler and Annabeth gasped for air as John sat down.

“What on Earth was that?” Sandy asked with wide eyes.

I heard the main door to the House slam open, and a minute later, the feathered musketeer burst through Sandy’s front door again. This time his sword was drawn in his right hand, and his left hand blazed with power.

“How dare you!” he roared. His spirit was at full blast again.

He didn’t get farther than that, though, as once again, the floor vanished beneath him. This time I really laughed, as his look of shock was even more priceless. He had this expression of snobby surprise, and I think he thought there was no way this would happen to him twice. He obviously thought himself too important for that.

“Jason, he’s from the Bank,” Sandy said as she tried to recover again. “It isn’t a good idea to antagonize him.”

“I agree,” I said quickly, as I heard the main door to the House slam open once again. “I didn’t mean for things to go this way.”

Sandy’s apartment door flew open for the third time, and this time Rene floated into the room. Bermuda wasn’t going to catch him unaware again.

Mr. Peacock looked pissed. His hat was crooked, and one of the feathers had broken. His poofy pants were pulled out too far, and there were smudges of dirt on his boots. He was not a happy camper.

He glared at Bermuda with all the fury of a man scorned. Bermuda sat in front of me and glared right back.

This time his spiritual power blasted everyone off their feet.

Except for me.

I probably should have been more affected, or at least pretended like it. But I’d been in the presence of Mother Creation and Father All-Rune. I’d had my mind blown and my spirit crushed by true cosmic deities. This mage, no matter how powerful he was, just didn’t compare.

As for Bermuda, he didn’t back down for anyone. He’d stood up to Mother Creation, Father All-Rune, and the Grand Matron. Not even the acidic magic of Karl and Marius had touched him. If this puffed up pigeon thought he was going to intimidate Bermuda, he needed to think again.

Rene snarled and floated forward, his shining sword in the on-guard position.

He was totally focused on me and Bermuda, so he was completely unprepared to get waylaid from an unexpected direction. Biscuit and Snowy, Sandy’s two cats, had gotten up and run into the bedroom. They wanted nothing to do with whatever was happening.

Mr. Tubbles, however, had moved to the end of the couch and was watching Rene with his one good eye. He only had three legs, one eye, and a chewed-up ear, but I knew he was a Companion too.

He looked at Tyler and looked back at Rene again. He radiated disapproval and somehow managed to look regal despite his patchy fur. All this spiritual pressure was messing with Tyler, his human, and he made his displeasure known.

Mr. Tubbles opened his mouth wide and screamed.

It was inhuman. Guttural. And it shook the room.

It was the cry of a banshee, if the banshee had been chain smoking for a hundred years.

It was the cry of loss and pain.

It spoke of lonely nights, shivering in the cold.

It spoke of cold waters closing over your head as you sank into the depths.

It spoke of death.

And it shook Rene to his core.

His pressure vanished, and he fell out of the air. His sword clattered to the ground, and he bent over heaving for breath.

When he stood back up again, there were tears in his eyes.

Which is why I didn’t laugh when Bermuda dropped him through the floor––again.

I walked over and picked up the fallen sword as Sandy recovered and took charge.

“Everyone, we need to turn this visit around,” she commanded. “I don’t know why he’s here or how he’s just barging in like this, but he’s from the Bank. We can’t fight him, so we need to find a way to put him at ease and learn what his problem is. Once we know what’s going on, we can figure it out.”

I could hear the main door of the House open. This time, however, it sounded like it had been opened gently.

“John, let’s put him in the best chair,” Sandy continued quickly. “Arrange the dining room chairs in front of it, like he’s the king and we’re listening to what he has to say. He obviously likes attention, so maybe this will appease him.”

Sandy had one chair in her living room that had a high back, commanding arm rests, and kind of looked like a throne. If I had to guess, I’d say it saw its real use when she and John had their kinky, romantic, role-playing nights. I wouldn’t have sat in it myself, as I wasn’t sure when was the last time it had been cleaned. But Rene didn’t know that, so it would serve him just fine.

“Tyler, you play host. See if you can work some of your incubus magic on him to calm him down. Annabeth, work your trademark happy magic and see if you can lighten the mood. John, serve him some of your famous ale. I’ll draw his attention and ask questions. Between all of us, we’ll make it work!”

“What should I do?” I asked.

“Just stay to the side and don’t get sassy.” Sandy gave me a pointed look.

I nodded and started helping John move chairs.

There was a polite knock on Sandy’s front door.

Sandy nodded at Tyler and fixed a diplomatic smile on her face. It was showtime.

Tyler opened the door and gave Rene a gentle bow. Then he opened the door wide and gestured for Rene to enter.

Rene stepped inside and quickly scanned the room. He also had a diplomatic smile on his face. I guess he’d had a change of heart too.

“Welcome to House Louisville,” Sandy said graciously and bowed. “I am the Head of House, and I wish to apologize for the unfortunate introduction earlier. You caught us off guard; otherwise, we would have arranged a much better celebration of your time with us.”

The flowery words seemed to flow easily for her, and he replied in kind.

“I appreciate your kind words and your forbearance. I may have been overly hasty with my earlier introduction. I’m beginning to think that not everything is as I assumed.”

He gave her a bow in return.

“I have met many supernaturals in my profession, but it is extremely rare that I have the opportunity to meet a true Companion. I’ve met many pets and some animals that have been called familiars and companions, but I’ve only actually met three real Companions before. I certainly never expected to meet two of them in the same Household!”

He bowed deeply to Bermuda, and then again to Mr. Tubbles. Like everything he did, the bows had a lot of flair. He swept off his hat with one hand and held it to his chest. His other hand swept way back, and he bowed so deeply, I thought his forehead was going to touch his knees.

Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles just looked at him like cats do. This strange man was now honoring them, so all was right in their world.

“I apologize for the earlier excitement,” he told the two of them. “I’m sure your wards and I can come to a mutually beneficial arrangement. There should be no more need for your intervention, and I trust that all is well between us.”

He glanced down at the floor to see if it was going to disappear again. But it stayed under his feet like it should. Mr. Tubbles settled back down on the back of the couch, and Bermuda blinked at him lazily.

Rene looked at them both anxiously, and then decided that was the only answer he was going to get. He nodded as if that settled the matter.

“If you would like to be seated,” Sandy gestured at the throne chair.

Rene nodded again, and Tyler held the chair for him while he sat down. Then Tyler took his feathered hat, and after some consideration, put it on top of the refrigerator. I thought that was an excellent idea as cats love feathers, and I’d hate for any of our fur babies to start chewing on his expensive headpiece.

Rene went to remove his sword too, and then remembered he didn’t have it. He looked around and saw me standing there holding it. His lips thinned a bit and I got a sharp look, but before he could say anything, Bermuda jumped up on his lap.

He looked very surprised, and not entirely happy, but Bermuda gave him a look like, “Are we going to have a problem?” Rene just sighed and settled back down again.

Sandy shot me a look like I should go and get Bermuda, but I shook my head slightly. This guy had come in hot––much hotter than he needed to. He could get his sword back when he left. And Bermuda could stay right there on his lap, reminding him why he should continue to behave.

Tyler pulled up an end table as John drew a pitcher of his tasty ale. Rene thanked him, took a sip, and a look of pure happiness crossed his face. It was hard to stay mad when you were drinking with John.

Tyler then pulled up a chair, took Rene’s left hand, and started giving him a hand massage. Rene looked surprised, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he took a moment to settle into his throne and take another long sip. I could see him relax as he got the attention and respect he thought he deserved.

Sandy was right. Sweet words and a bit of deference were going to go a long way with this guy.

Once we were all seated, Sandy started the conversation again.

“Thank you for visiting our House today. I’m anxious to learn why you are here and how we can assist you. Before we get into that, though, I think a round of introductions is in order. John, if you would like to begin?”

“Certainly,” John rumbled. “I go by the name of John, and I’m roughly about three hundred years old. I was born in Scotland, and I moved here with Sandy when this House opened up. I’ve been with her for many years, and we’ve recently gotten married and merged our powers. I’ve been meaning to go to the Bank and get my magic signature updated, but our House has been under attack and there just hasn’t seemed to be a good time.”

Rene looked mildly interested when John started talking, but as he continued, Rene’s eyebrows started climbing in surprise.

“You’ve merged your magic?” Rene questioned.

John nodded.

“That is highly unusual and can be very dangerous.” He paused like he was going to say more, then changed his mind. “I’m sure you had your reasons for doing something so bold. I sincerely hope it works for you. Now, if you don’t mind…”

Rene offered the outside of his right wrist, and John leaned forward and tapped the back of his own wrist against it. Rene leaned back and flicked his fingers in the air for a moment.

“Yes, you will certainly need updating,” he said thoughtfully. “I’m a full Auditor, so I can take care of that for you before I leave today.”

“That would be much appreciated,” John replied.

“You”re also a master craftsman?” Rene asked. He seemed excited about that for some reason.

“Aye,” John nodded. “As a mountain troll, I find it easy to work with metal and stone, and I like to make unique pieces of jewelry. I used to take commissions to make specific items. I stopped doing that, as I found it was a lot more enjoyable to let the gems speak to me and tell me what they wanted to be.”

“I can work with that,” Rene said thoughtfully. “After my main purpose here is completed, we need to have a chat.”

“We can always talk,” John replied noncommittally.

“Now, back to introductions. Let’s continue in order of age,” Rene requested. “For some reason, I find it easier to remember everyone that way. So who’s next?”

“That would be me,” Tyler said. “I go by the name of Tyler, and I am one hundred and nine years old. I’m not technically part of this House, although I spend most of my time here. I have a certain skill set, and the House relocated me here to solve a problem. My history is complicated, so discretion is essential.”

Tyler paused, and Rene just nodded, like he had heard this a thousand times before. I also thought it was interesting that my honey said he goes by the name of Tyler. Not that his name was actually Tyler.

“As an Auditor of the Bank, I am oath-bound to ensure privacy. You will not be the first supernatural I’ve met with a difficult past. Now, with your permission?”

He offered the back of his wrist to Tyler. Tyler looked hesitant, but then tapped wrists anyway. Once again, Rene flicked his fingers in the air, and again his eyebrows went up in surprise. He didn’t say anything though.

“I see what you are referring to,” Rene said. “I’m going to assume you are also in need of a magic signature update?”

“Yes, thank you,” Tyler replied.

“I’m next in line for introductions,” Sandy said. “My name is Sandy Felton, and I am seventy-three years old. As I stated earlier, I’m the Head of House Louisville. I am originally from House Chicago, and the House itself picked me to be the Head here. I’m also married to John, and our powers are merged. Like him, I’ll also need a signature update.”

She didn’t wait for Rene to ask, but instead, leaned forward and offered her wrist. They tapped, and Rene spent a moment doing his air flick thing.

“I’m beginning to see what happened with our communication,” Rene said thoughtfully. “There are only two of you listed with the House. You are so young, Sandy, I didn’t feel there was any way you could be the Head. So I sent all my queries to John, as he was the oldest. He’s still young to be Head, but it isn’t outside of the realm of possibility.”

“You sent me messages?” John asked doubtfully. Rene nodded.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry then,” John rumbled. “Nobody sends me messages, so I never check them. Actually, I’m not sure I even know how.”

Rene looked pained and gave a sigh of long suffering—like the simple people of the world were crushing his very soul. John just shrugged and looked apologetic.

“Nevermind,” Rene continued. “I’ve updated the Bank records to indicate that Sandy is now the main point of contact. Sandy, I assume you know how to check messages?”

He shot her a pointed look. Sandy smiled brightly and nodded.

“I do now. I recently learned how to organize and color code them. I will be sure to mark any correspondence we have with the highest priority.”

That seemed to satisfy Rene, and he gestured for us to continue.

“My name is Annabeth Matz. I’m almost a year old, and I’m a sonic mage,” Annabeth said simply.

I hadn’t noticed she’d been humming until she stopped to speak. Now I was looking for it, I could see motes of her cheerful pink energy had floated through the air and settled on Rene. I could also see Tyler’s sky blue magic flexing. Between the two of them, Rene should be starting to feel pretty good.

“A sonic mage,” Rene mused. “Well this is certainly an interesting collection of Houseguests. Since you are so young, I’m sure you don’t have a Bank Stamp, correct?”

Annabeth shook her head, and Rene seemed satisfied.

Looked like it was my turn to introduce myself.

“My name is Jason Cole,” I said. “I’m also less than a year old, and I’m a regular mage. I also do not have a Bank Stamp, although I need to get one soon.”

“I doubt you can support a Stamp,” Rene replied. “You need to be at least ten years old, preferably twenty, before getting one. The Stamp takes a certain amount of magic to function, and there is no way you have enough capacity to handle one yet.”

“Since you’re an Auditor, could you give me a Bank Stamp?” I asked as politely as possible. “Assuming I have the capacity, of course.”

“Of course I could,” Rene snapped. I guess he was still a bit peeved with me. “You couldn’t handle it, though, and no matter how irritating you are, I won’t cause you lasting harm. And while I’m talking to you, I expect my sword to be returned in pristine condition.”

I realized I’d been twiddling his sword around while we’d been talking. Oops.

“I’ll put it up with your hat,” I said quickly and got up to put it on top of the refrigerator. I didn’t want him to have the sword, but there was no need to wave it in front of his face either.

He started grumbling, but Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles both gave him “The Look” and he settled back down again. I returned to my seat as Bermuda started cleaning his paw. I guess he was getting his bitch slapper ready in case he needed to use it.

Rene glanced at everyone present, and then back to Sandy again.

“Where are the other members of your House? I’m sure that at the very least your administrative assistant and operations officer will need to hear what I have to say. I’d like to meet them to make sure everything goes as smoothly as possible.”

“This is all of us,” Sandy said simply.

Rene looked around in disbelief.

“That can’t be possible. I have never, in all my time of service, heard of a House with only five people.”

“Actually, it’s four people and one permanent guest,” Sandy replied. “And, yes, it is possible. Everyone that is a member of House Louisville is present with you right now.”

Rene looked totally floored as Sandy smiled at him sweetly.

“When there were only two supernaturals with Stamps listed for this House, I thought for sure it was an error,” Rene said. “I was prepared to go back to the office and speak quite sternly to our accounting department.”

He looked at all of us again, and this time it seemed like he was really seeing us for the first time.

“I never in my wildest dreams thought it could be true.”

He shook his head like “Why me?”

“This is going to make everything much more difficult. I’m not even sure how I’m going to make everything work. Three servants and a few pearls isn’t going to be anywhere near enough.”

He seemed to be talking to himself, so Sandy got him back on track.

“I’m sure we will learn what the problem is in a few moments, and hopefully we can help you with a solution. In the meantime, how about you introduce yourself?”

“Of course,” he said as he visibly pulled himself together.

“My apologies for the lapse. I probably should have fully introduced myself first. My name is Rene Perrin. I am seven hundred and thirty-eight years old, and I am an Exchequer with the Bank. Specifically, I am The Exchequer for all the Houses.”

He paused to let that sink in while he took another generous sip of John’s ale. He looked genuinely surprised to find he’d already finished the glass.

“I must have been thirstier than I thought,” he mused as he shot John a hopeful look.

John got the hint and quickly poured him a refill.

He took another sip, gave a happy sigh, and leaned back in his throne chair. Clearly, his mood was improving.

“Would you be so kind as to expand a bit more on what you do for the Bank?” Sandy asked. “I’m not that familiar with the word Exchequer, and I’m still learning so much about what it takes to run a House.”

“Of course,” Rene replied. “Exchequers were common back in my day, but the meaning of the word has changed a bit in modern times. Exchequers were part of the royal treasury. They oversaw the collection of funds and balanced the books for the King or Queen. They were also part of the judicial system and would hold court and pass judgment on all matters concerning the treasury.

“For the Bank, the function is still the same. When large sums of pearls are owed to the Bank, we oversee the collection thereof. If there is a dispute or mitigating circumstances, then we are able to rule as we see fit to make all parties whole again.”

“So you”re basically a Bank Collector with a lot of authority,” John summarized.

“In a sense, yes.” Rene looked pained to have his job description laid out in such simple terms. “Collection is actually one of my least favorite tasks, although I’m good at performing it. I’m also a full Auditor, which means I can assist with personal accounts. I can induct new Bank Stamps for young supernaturals as well as plant new ones for those that lose a limb.”

“Does that happen often?” John asked, curious.

“You’d be surprised,” Rene replied. “It’s amazing how many supernaturals get an arm ripped off for one reason or another. Most of the time they’ll leave the House and just go to the nearest branch office and get another Stamp there. Sometimes, however, they need their Stamp and they can’t travel. In those cases, I go to them. It keeps me busier than you’d think.”

“Why do they have to leave the House?” Annabeth asked. “I’ve heard the other Houses have thousands or even millions of people. Why doesn’t the Bank have branches in each of them?”

“The Bank is truly neutral,” Rene said in a tone like he’d said this thousands of times before. “We do business with all parties, regardless of how they are perceived by others. The House, on the other hand, chooses to only let certain supernaturals be a part of its system. It does not agree with our stance or some of our staffing. So only certain individuals are allowed into the House to do the Bank”s business.

“When I was a young supernatural, I lived at a House and grew up there until I was a hundred and one years old. At that point, I became an indentured servant of the Bank, and I stayed with them once my obligation was complete. The House has continued to let me come and go as needed, and over time I have taken on more responsibility in the Bank. That has led to me becoming the Exchequer for all the Houses.”

“So how many people can actually move between the Bank and the House?” Annabeth asked.

That was a good question. Just how rare was this guy?

“There are several thousand lower level assistants, of course, and a couple hundred mid-level Auditors. There are only a handful of full Auditors, though, and, of course, only one Exchequer.”

Rene took another sip, looking quite pleased with himself. He was the cock of the walk, and I guess that’s why he dressed that way.

‘Well that certainly explains why he calmed down so quickly,’ my Analytical Side spoke up.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked.

‘This guy has a sweet setup, and he isn’t going to do anything to jeopardize it.’ My Analytical Side sounded pretty smug himself. He loved figuring out things.

‘Think about it. Rene came in with his power hanging out of his pants, but he didn’t actually do anything with it. He didn’t stab you with his sword or blast you into the wall or anything like that. Once he saw the Companions were working with the House, he calmed down very quickly. I’m thinking that the reason he’s got the fancy title and all the ranking is because he has access to the House. If that was cut off, I bet he’d lose his Exchequer title and all his nice perks.’

‘You’re right!’ I replied thoughtfully. ‘He’s got a lot of bark, but I bet he won’t bite.’

‘That doesn’t mean you can take him lightly,’ my Analytical Side continued quickly. ‘He still represents the largest supernatural organization, and he’s been around a lot longer than you have. I’m sure he’s good at his job, and I’m sure he can still screw you over if he wants.’

‘Noted,’ I replied, giving my brainy half a firm salute. ‘I’ll be on my best behavior.’

‘That’s what I was afraid of.’ My Analytical Side rolled his eyes and walked away, shaking his head.

“Thank you for answering our questions,” Sandy continued. “I feel like we all have a better understanding of who you are and your role with the Houses. I’m also assuming that with your title of Exchequer you also get special House privileges? Normally, no one would be able to open my door without my permission, but you just barged right in here like you owned the place.”

Ohhh. Look at Sandy bringing out a bit of steel. She’d been so focused on diplomacy and who this guy was that I’d started to think she’d overlooked how rude Rene had been in the beginning.

“Ah. Yes,” Rene said. “The House gives me special access so I can perform my duties.” He said it like, “Of course I have unique access. Did you expect anything else?”

“I see,” Sandy said thoughtfully. Then she raised her voice.

“House, until further notice, all of Rene Perrin’s special access into House Louisville is suspended. He is not allowed access to the House, or any room in the House, without being specifically invited.”

Rene looked totally shocked.

“You can’t do that,” he stated.

“I just did,” she replied. “Once we have a good working relationship, we’ll see about allowing more freedoms.”

“I’m the Exchequer to the Houses,” he stated again. “You don’t have the power to do that.”

He projected confidence, but I also thought he looked a bit nervous.

“I’m the Head of House Louisville,” Sandy stated without raising her voice or losing her cool. “The House and I have a wonderful working relationship. As you no doubt noticed when you fell through the floor, this House takes a more active role in its defense.”

“I still don’t think that’s possible,” he grumbled.

“You are always welcome to test your convictions.” Sandy smiled at him sweetly, as though she was posing for the Mona Lisa. “Shall I have the House send you outside again? We need to clean up the kitchen and put away the leftovers, so we have plenty to keep us busy while you wait.”

Rene looked like he wanted to argue a bit more, but then he sat back and waved his hand nonchalantly. However confident he was that he was right, if he was wrong, he was going to have to stand outside and wait like a common errand boy. That would not be a good look for a high and mighty Banker.

“Wonderful!” Sandy said brightly, like all the unpleasantness was behind them. “Now, how can we help you today?”

“Are you familiar with the Fog of Jonah?” Rene asked, getting back to business. “Normally I would just assume you’d know what all the global spells are, but since your House is so young, I’m going to make sure and cover all the basics.”

“Yes, I am very familiar with the Fog of Jonah,” Annabeth said sharply. “It almost ruined my son’s mind and destroyed my relationship with his family. I understand it”s a necessity, but in my case, I’m not happy with it.”

“I’m going to assume your son was part of your Waker Moment?” Rene asked kindly.

“It was a car accident,” Annabeth said shortly. “My first act of magic was to save his life. The Fog of Jonah erased his memory, but every time he saw me, it all came back to him. Then the Fog of Jonah would erase it again. It wasn’t just him, either. As I started looking younger, it erased the memory of me from everyone who knew me. I became a stranger in my town. A stranger to my own family.”

Her fists were clenched, and her normally happy smile was absent. Instead, she glared at Rene like he was personally responsible for her loss. He just smiled sympathetically and didn’t seem to take it personally.

“The Fog of Jonah is essential for all supernaturals, as it erases all evidence of magical activity. We are certainly more powerful than any one mundane human, but as a group, with their expanded technology, we would quickly find ourselves hunted and killed. Just like the witch hunts of yesteryear.

“Humans are pack animals, and they are not tolerant of anything that is different. They already have issues with other humans that talk or look different. If they knew about supernatural beings, we would soon be at war.

“However helpful the Fog is on a global scale, I can certainly appreciate the tragedy that happens at a personal level. It is only natural for a new supernatural to try to remain in their regular human world. When they become different and get pushed out, it can be a painful experience. I can only tell you that as you age, the pain lessens, and eventually turns into fond memories.

“It’s like when you grow up and leave your parents for the first time. There is loss and you’re homesick, but eventually you become involved in your new friends and new life.”

He said all that as if it should give Annabeth comfort, but she didn’t look appeased at all. Instead, she looked at him like “Duh! I’m not an idiot. I know that already. And it doesn’t help.”

“All of that brings me to the reason for my visit today,” Rene continued smoothly. He’d said his piece, acknowledged her grief, and now he was moving on to other things. “Apparently, House Louisville and the Louisville Mages have been in a very visible war with each other. Let’s talk about the major incidents, shall we?”

He seemed to pull up a list that we couldn’t see.

“First, there seemed to be some sort of golem chase through south Louisville. Who can tell me about that?”

Annabeth raised her hand, and Rene gestured for her to start. She talked about being ambushed in the park and fighting for her life. I picked up the tale after the golem kicked her and talked about running south as fast as I could to try and stay out of its clutches. I didn’t tell him about my Miners or Ass Blaster 2000s, of course. Instead, I just said that my magic had been able to pull out its stone, one piece at a time. Once the rock was gone, so was the golem.

Fortunately, Rene was more interested in what had happened from a mundane perspective rather than questioning my magical ability.

“As you no doubt know, magic just doesn’t appear and work on its own. The magic has to come from somewhere. This is also true of the Fog of Jonah. The Bank automatically covers all minor infractions, as well as the damage incurred from Waker Moments. Specific incidents like this, though, that are highly visible and require a lot of alterations, are billed back to the responsible parties.

“For events like this, where there are two warring factions over a period of time, the cost for repairs is split evenly between both groups. In this case, it occurred at night and there was light traffic, so the cost of alterations was a lot lower than it would have been should the chase have happened during daylight hours.

“The disadvantage for this event was that it covered a lot of ground and went through several retail areas. You and the golem were captured on many surveillance cameras, and some of the video was posted to social media before it could be erased. That, of course, exponentially increased the amount of work required.

“Now, on to the next incident––there was a big fight in the park. Who can tell me about that?”

Sandy and John took over from there and talked about getting ambushed at the picnic table. Isobel and her crew had wanted our charms like a cat wants tuna. Isobel had run all over the place on her Throne Golem, and it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

The next incident was the major attack by all the mages on our House shields. I hadn’t seen this first hand as I’d been recovering from getting the crap kicked out of me by Isobel. Apparently, the battle had been loud and bright. Enough so that the local news had investigated, and it had also caught the attention of the military. Apparently, one of their spy satellites had picked up energy discharges where no energy discharges should be.

All this talk was boring for Mr. Tubbles, and he was done with napping for the time being. Bermuda was keeping Rene in line and Tyler’s lap wasn’t available at the moment, so he hopped off the couch and came over to me. Bermuda had trained me so well that I picked him up without a second thought, settled him into the crook of my left arm like he was a baby, and started giving him a “facial.”

That’s what I call it when I pretend Bermuda is at the spa and I give him extra love and attention. As the rest of them talked, I absentmindedly caressed Mr. Tubbles” chin, rubbed the sides of his cheeks, stroked him on the soft spot between his eyes, and gently kneaded his ears.

Mr. Tubbles was in heaven. He snuggled in for maximum comfort, stretched out his paws, and leaned his head back to give me full access. I was extra gentle around his missing eye, but he seemed to really enjoy the attention on his torn ear. His purrs started out soft, but then they grew until they were loud enough to interfere with the story.

I didn’t realize how loud he was getting until Tyler looked over and asked if we needed to get a room. He seemed amused at just how happy Mr. Tubbles was.

“We’re good,” I replied lightly. “He just seems to really enjoy my skills at giving head.”

“It sounds like you’ve had a good teacher,” Tyler teased.

“Oh, yes,” I replied playfully. “I’ve done some fine purring of my own.”

Rene just looked at us blankly. I guess his English was too old to catch all the innuendo going around.

“John, this is a good time for refills,” Sandy noted. “Let’s take a quick restroom break and resume our stories again in a few minutes.”

That was a good idea, as John and Rene started talking about the difference between ales and stouts. The casual conversation helped further diffuse the businesslike atmosphere, and Rene seemed to relax even more.

When we convened again, Tyler sat back in the circle with us, which left his lap open. Mr. Tubbles quickly claimed his favorite lap, and Bermuda claimed mine. I guess our Companions figured Rene was being a good boy now and didn’t need supervising anymore. Snowy and Biscuit came out of the bedroom and settled on Sandy and Annabeth. With John’s ale flowing, the evening was feeling much better now.

“Next on the list is a large cloud of ghostly objects and a saber tooth tiger?” Rene sounded like he was questioning the validity of the description.

“That was my battle,” I spoke up. “Annabeth handled the shields while Bermuda and I took out the Necro Golem and his prehistoric cat.”

Apparently it was the ghosts, rather than the fight with the Necro Golem that had caught the most attention.

“Now we come to one of the largest uses of the Fog of Jonah––the explosion in the park,” Rene said.

“That was mine too,” I replied. “I fought a rotten mage, and he exploded.”

“He exploded?” Rene sounded incredulous, so I went into a bit more detail.

Apparently, the alterations had been extensive, as not only had it ended up involving the police and firefighters, but Homeland Security and the FBI had been called in to evaluate the threat.

“We now come to the largest use of the Fog, and that is the battle in downtown Louisville,” Rene continued. “Cars were thrown, buildings were smashed, and a giant blob of a man was left on the sidewalk. What on Earth happened there?”

“That was mine too.” I grimaced and told an abbreviated version of the fight with Big Ugly and his crew.

“You certainly do get into trouble, don’t you?” Rene gave me a calculating look. “I find it hard to believe you managed to survive this much danger. You’re not even a year old, after all. If I didn’t have all this evidence, I’d think you were making this up.”

He paused for a moment, like he was expecting me to confess to something. I just shrugged. There wasn’t anything for me to confess to. I hadn’t told him everything, but what I had said was all true.

All this talk of past fights was setting me on edge. To him, they were just stories. To me, they were life and death struggles. I remembered the moment when Bermuda was lying on the ground, injured, and Big Ugly was charging at me. I thought my furry baby and I were going to end up bloody smears on the pavement. That was not something I wanted to relive again.

Bermuda was loving me, though, and his purrs were calming me down. I’d given him a spa facial as well, and now we were onto the full belly treatment. His eyes were closed and his legs were spread wide, so I had full tummy access. For him, he was getting his preferred daddy loving, and all was right with the world.

“Finally we come to the last event––a fire that destroyed a registered historical landmark and almost took out an entire city block.”

“That would be us,” John raised his hand. He told the story about fighting Karl and Marius and the rotten magic that had been released. The fire had certainly caused a lot of damage, but letting that much toxic magic loose in the city would have been a lot worse. Rene agreed with that assessment, but the damage had still been done.

“We’ve told you our stories, and we’ve been honest and forthright with you,” Sandy said. “So where does that leave us?”

Rene gave a big sigh.

“As I said before, collections is not one of my favorite duties. I certainly appreciate your candor, and when I did my audit I weighed the situation heavily in your favor. The debt incurred is still quite large, however, and comes to the sum of two million pearls.”

We all just sat there and looked at him.

Two million pearls.

I didn’t really know how much magic it took to make a pearl, but that seemed like an astronomical sum.

“We didn’t want this fight,” Sandy said finally. “The Louisville mages attacked us, and we just defended ourselves. Surely we shouldn’t be penalized for that?”

“You are correct,” Rene nodded, “and I’ve already taken that into account. The true base cost is actually over four million pearls. There were also a few other incidents, such as the first fight at the warehouse with Isobel, that I’ve discounted entirely. I was able to classify them as small incidents, and the Bank will take care of them.”

“We don’t have two million pearls,” Sandy stated.

“I’m sure you don’t,” Rene agreed. “I’d be very surprised if you did.”

“It will take us years, probably decades, to generate that many pearls,” John chimed in. “And that’s assuming we didn’t use our magic for anything else. Saddling a young House which only has four people with that much debt will crush us.”

“I agree with you,” Rene said sadly. “Looking at the situation from my perspective isn’t any better. I can’t take the Head of Household, so that only leaves three people that will be collected to pay off the debt and only one of them is worth anything.”

He gestured at John.

“The other two won’t even cover the cost of their room and board. It will probably be another twenty years before they have any value at all and can start to pay back their commitment.”

He waved at me and Annabeth.

“Putting it into modern terminology, it would be as if your House owed two million dollars, but you only have twenty dollars to give.”

He sat back again, clearly frustrated and without a solution. He started tapping his front teeth with his fingernail as he started to get lost in his thoughts.

“Hold on a moment,” Annabeth spoke up. “What do you mean by ‘three people will be collected’?”

“Hmmm?” Rene snapped out of his thoughts and started paying attention again.

“Oh, it just means that I’ll be taking John, Jason, and yourself with me today to begin your service to the Bank. You’ll be indentured servants until such time as the debt is paid back. At that point, you can renegotiate your contract with the Bank or return to the House. Either one is fine with me.”

We all shared glances of growing alarm. Sandy sat up straight, and I could see her mentally transition from diplomatic host to battle mistress.

“I think I should make one thing quite clear, Mr. Rene Perrin,” Sandy said, pure steel in her voice. “Under no circumstances are you removing any members of my Household. I don’t care if you are representing the Bank. That is completely off the table.”

“This is just standard operating procedure,” Rene looked at her in surprise. “Claiming indentured servants guarantees the Bank will be paid back, no matter how long it takes. If you want them to come home earlier, you can always work to find a way to pay off their debt sooner. I’m sure there must be something you could do to knock a few years off their service.”

Sandy looked at John with fierce possessive love. She took his hand in hers and turned back to Rene.

“Let me say it again. Under NO circumstances are you taking any of my Housemates with you today.”

The room was starting to heat up a bit. Tyler shot me a worried look.

“No, no. I think you misunderstand.” Rene waved at her like he was trying to clear the confusion. “Becoming an indentured servant is not a bad thing. It’s not bad at all. That’s how I started with the Bank in the first place, and I consider it to be one of the best things that ever happened to me.

“Room and boarding will be provided, and we will make every attempt to find service for them that suits their temperament. It’s even possible that they might be able to serve together. This is a wonderful opportunity for them to experience more of the world, and they can learn and grow with the Bank in ways they never could inside the House.”

Sandy’s stone cold face said she was having none of it.

“I’ve already settled matters with the Louisville mages,” Rene continued. “Many of them were more than excited to join the Bank. With all that Isobel did and the fallout from it, Louisville hasn’t been the safest city. Once they are under Bank protection, nobody would dare harm them. Many of them have potential which hasn’t been properly developed. With us, they will be able to learn and grow to their full capacity. Once they finish their service, many years from now, they will be much stronger and more assured than they are now.

“Think of it like becoming an apprentice. Sure, you have menial tasks at the beginning, and sure, you miss your family, but in the end you’re stronger for it and you have a marketable skill.”

Sandy got to her feet. Her posture was like a mother wolf whose cubs were being threatened.

“I’ll say this again, Mr. Perrin, and hear me like your life depends on it. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you taking ANY of my Housemates with you today.”

Rene got to his feet also and stood firm. Sandy was a tall woman, but he still had a few inches on her. He looked down at her with resolve tempered by sympathy.

“I understand this might be hard for you. You are a new Head after all. But the Bank will not be denied. The Fog of Jonah has already done its duty. The debt must be repaid.”

John got to his feet too, and at seven feet tall, he towered over Rene.

“We are not disputing the debt, Rene. But you are not listening to my wife. Only fools don’t listen to my Sandy, and they quickly learn to regret it.”

Oh, wow! This had certainly escalated quickly.

Everything was happening so fast I hadn’t had time to process it yet myself. I knew for sure, though, that I wasn’t leaving Tyler. I hadn’t lived that long compared to others here, but even as young as I was, I still knew what we had was precious. I wasn’t letting Tyler go without one hell of a fight.

As for Annabeth, Sandy, and John, they made this House a home. They were my rocks, my foundation, and there was no way I was leaving them.

This would have escalated even more, except Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles read the room and snapped to attention. Rene was looking stubborn and set on his current solution until Bermuda started growling.

I guess at seven hundred plus years he had enough power that he wasn’t afraid of John. It was also likely that he’d seen lots of pissed off Houseguests before and wasn’t unsettled by them anymore.

He looked very concerned, though, when the room started shaking. Bermuda had a tendency to do that when he got upset. It was certainly effective, as it got everyone’s attention.

Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles both hopped down to the floor and started walking towards Rene.

Their ears were up. Their eyes were big. Their tails were starting to fuzz.

Rene was being a bad boy again.

“Everyone, SIT DOWN!” I meant to say it as a soothing suggestion, but instead, it came out as a command. It also had a hollow reverb like I was speaking with the voice of god. The only time that happened was when I was speaking with the authority and backing of the All-Rune.

I quickly felt for his presence around me. Was the All-Rune here?

I felt him, but it was faint. He was watching from afar, but it wasn’t like we had his full attention.

I guess my voice had sounded even more commanding than I’d thought, as everyone sat back down again. Even Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles stopped and sat down. They didn’t relax, though. Instead, they stared at Rene with full concentration.

“You should know, Rene, that the eyes of the House are upon us.” I still sounded like James Earl Jones speaking from the night sky. “I do not know what its plans are for us, but you do not want to get in the way of them. If you do, you will never be allowed in this House, or any other House, ever again.”

Rene stared at me in shock. This was much more than he’d bargained for. He looked at me ––looked at the cats––looked at the rest of the Houseguests as a silence fell over the room. I could see he still hadn’t given up, though, and his next words confirmed it.

“I understand your desire to stay together. I sympathize with how sudden this must seem for you. However, the debt is still owed. I cannot return to the Bank without a solid method of reimbursement.”

“Like John said, we are not disputing the debt,” Tyler reminded him. “Obviously, listening to our stories, it’s clear a lot happened. We also appreciate the leniency you have shown on the amount of the debt. Since there are only four people that are officially part of House Louisville, we also appreciate the constraints this puts on your ability to collect.”

Rene had been nodding along in agreement as Tyler listed his points. I’m sure it felt good to be heard, and Tyler was setting him up perfectly for wherever he was headed. I just had no idea where he was going with this.

“Having said all that, I do have an idea.” Tyler leaned back and fell silent. He’d set the bait. Now it was time for Rene to take the hook.