15. Nebby

We all glanced at each other in surprise. We all had our game faces on, though, as this guy was just weird. So it wasn’t like we fell out of chairs in shock.

I think he was expecting more of a reaction, as he emphasized it again.

“You came in last place. And it wasn’t by just a few points. It was by a lot.” His tone started to sound gleeful.

“In fact, you broke the record with your negative score. No team in the entire history of the MMTL has ever finished a round with as low a score as you have.”

Now I recognized what I was seeing. This guy had come here to gloat. He wanted to see our reaction to the news and rub it in.

“I’m sure you will be more than happy to tell us how that happened,” Sandy said sarcastically.

“It would be my pleasure,” he replied, like he’d been handed his favorite toy. The man steepled his fingers together as if he were a professor and ready to impart his sage knowledge. I think Sandy’s sarcasm had gone right over his head.

“Everything that Annabeth said your team accomplished was correct; however, there was one big category she left out.” He paused to make sure he had our attention. Then he inhaled again, like he was searching for the scent of our despair.

“The category you are missing is the interaction between teams.” He grinned.

“Player versus player,” I said as I realized where he was going with all this.

“I believe that is the modern terminology,” Nebuchadnezzar agreed. “This was one of several hidden categories for scoring, although there were lots of hints dropped along the way. It was in all the literature, the promos, and the opening ceremony practically shouted that we had too many teams participating. It only makes sense that teams would gain points for eliminating each other. Or, in your case, you would lose points for saving other teams.”

He shook his head in mock sympathy.

“If the Houses weren”t so bad at so many things, they’d actually be half decent. But somehow the few House teams that end up in tournaments always manage to shoot themselves in the foot. It would be sad if it weren’t so entertaining to watch.”

He licked his lips like he could taste just how much fun it was.

“When we heard there was a House team participating in the MMTL at the last moment, it piqued our interest, and I thought I’d come and check it out. You did well at the beginning, and I thought I might have to get involved. I couldn’t see your run directly, of course, as you were too insignificant to rate your own Recorder. However, your accomplishments were stacking up, and you almost had me worried. After all, we can’t have the House actually doing well, can we?”

He chuckled dryly.

“Then, in typical House fashion, you managed to muck it all up. It was beautiful to behold. You couldn’t have done a worse job if you tried. And best of all, I barely had to do a thing. I merely sat back and cheered as Central Command weighed the results and decided you needed to be punished.”

He chuckled again as Sandy glared at him.

“Ahhhh. This is lovely. If it’s any consolation, you’ve made my whole year. Actually, you’ve probably made my whole decade! So thank you for that. I can’t wait to see what you do next.”

Sandy was fired up, and she lit into the guy while I took a moment to process his gleeful contempt. Nebuchadnezzar had said a lot. Maybe more than he’d realized.

‘I’m not surprised there was hidden scoring,’ my Analytical Side noted. ‘The whole concept of points, why they matter and how you get them, is all so vague. It really leaves the final results open to interpretation.’

‘And we’re the House team,’ I noted, ‘so any interpretation isn’t going to go our way. Still, I must admit I’m surprised and not happy about being in last place.’

‘I know,’ my Analytical Side growled. ‘Last place! That sucks. That sucks big, hairy ass. Like a crusty, nasty, flea-ridden ass.’

I was getting scents and images to back up his disappointment, and I had to fan the air and back away quickly. It also made me laugh at just how awful it was, which was probably why he’d done it.

‘I won’t obsess about it too much,’ my Analytical Side said, now that an emotional meltdown had been averted. ‘You’re still in the tournament, and there is still time to gain points. Meanwhile, isn’t it interesting that Nebby used the word ‘we’ when he talked about paying attention to House activities?’

‘He made it sound like there was a group of people keeping an eye on the House,’ I agreed. ‘And that they were there to make sure the House failed.’

‘Nebby seems to be in a good mood,’ my Analytical Side noted. ‘Sandy’s getting mad at him, which is only making his day even better. I wonder what else he might tell us if you get him talking?’

I focused back on the table, and things weren’t going well for my crew. Sandy and Annabeth were both upset, and Nebuchadnezzar was eating it up with a spoon. John was starting to get mad that Sandy was mad, so it might not be long before the duels started. I stood by my initial assessment that this guy was powerful, and I couldn’t help but think that we were playing right into his hands.

Time to change the script.

“Nebuchadnezzar,” I said loudly. “That’s a very unusual name. It’s from the Bible, right? Is that your birth name or something you picked up along the way?”

The bickering stopped, and all eyes turned to me in surprise.

“My mother was a drunk and a whore,” Nebuchadnezzar said calmly. “Although, in some ways, she was fairly cunning too. Nebuchadnezzar was a king in the Bible, and she used my name as a reminder to my father that he owed us money.”

He chuckled at the memory.

“Actually, my father was a drunk and a whore too. If he wasn’t, I’d have never been born. So, to answer your question, Nebuchadnezzar is my birth name, and I’ve kept it because I like it. After all, who doesn’t like being named after a king?”

My Analytical Side was right. This guy was in the mood to talk. Time to needle him a bit. Throw him off his game.

“It’s such a long name, though,” I replied. “I can’t keep calling you Nebuchadnezzar all the time. I think I’m going to call you Nebby for short.”

“My friends call me Neb,” he snapped, and for the first time, he actually looked a bit irritated. “You are not my friend.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I got that. The thing I don’t understand is why aren’t we friends? How did we get off on the wrong foot?”

“You’re a House rat,” he said. “I could never be friends with anyone from the House.”

“House rat,” I said slowly, rolling the sounds through the air. “I’ve heard a lot about that recently. Is that something your group is involved with?”

“You have?” he grinned. “Well, good. I’m glad to hear that. It’s amazing how quickly it’s caught on. Mages can be just as stupid as the mundane humans.”

“You don’t look smart enough to have come up with that on your own,” I said, like it was a fact.

His eyes narrowed. “Listen, rat. We just speak the truth. Then we make sure the truth gets repeated over and over again.”

“And what is your truth?” I leaned forward and gave him a wide-eyed look, like I was hanging on his every word.

“The truth is whatever we want it to be.” He leaned forward too. “The House is weak. The House is outdated. The House takes your magic. People in Houses live in holes.”

He got a big grin. “That last one is my personal favorite. If you’re in a House, by definition you aren’t in a hole. Yet it has such a nice mental image people want to believe it—so they do. People are dumb.”

His grin got even bigger.

“It’s actually rather refreshing talking to you. I don’t have to pretend. You already know you’re trash. You live it every day.”

“You know we don’t suck, Nebby.” I scolded him like he was a naughty boy. “We have the best trainers, the lowest tithes, and better living conditions than any school out there. You already know that living in the House is better in every way. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be fighting it.”

He stopped smiling, and his lips compressed into a thin line.

“First of all, my name is Nebuchadnezzar. Learn it. Use it. It is your doom. As for the House, it is the lowest, vilest entity in the universe. It is a parasite. Offering shelter and yet sucking its mages dry.

“At least schools are honest. You know where you stand with a school, and you know whom you can trust. They aren’t perfect, but anyone can join, and with dedication and persistence, rise through the ranks. Even institutions, like the Bank, are better than the House. At least they are neutral and are honest about only recruiting top talent.

“We will destroy the House and all it appears to offer. We have shouted the truth from the rooftops, and the world has listened. Soon, its halls will be empty. Its magic drained. Its walls destroyed.”

Nebuchadnezzar was practically preaching now, and his eyes flashed. He was almost chanting, like he was summoning destructive magic right there.

“Soon, all the rats that shelter in its rotten holes will be forced into the light, and we will destroy them too. The House will be utterly gone, both root and branch, and we will dance upon its grave. A thousand years from now, it will be a myth, a whisper, a fable long forgotten. And the few who do remember will be grateful for its passing.”

He glared at me, and I saw pure malice in his eyes.

“I don’t fault you for being swept up in its wickedness, but I do blame you for being willfully blind to its atrocities. I can see in your eyes that you have chosen to be faithful. Just know that your stupidity will result in your ruin and the ruin of all you care about.”

Wow. This guy had really gone off the deep end.

I should have kept my mouth shut, but I felt Anna Lykit flare up inside me and I just couldn’t. Plus, this guy was spilling his guts. Maybe we’d learn something important.

“Do you realize you aren’t making any sense?” I asked him, while Nebby paused long enough to take a breath. “You’re making a wonderful emotional appeal, but there isn’t any substance behind it. You’re saying you hate the House, and you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but everything else is just empty words. I’m a new mage, but even I have more sense than that. I would’ve thought as an older mage, you’d have learned to be less gullible by now.”

Oh boy. That got to him. His nostrils flared, and for a moment I thought he might spit fire.

“Listen, you little snot-nosed street urchin. You know nothing. Nothing!”

He was practically screaming. I felt Tyler give my arm a cautious squeeze.

“When you’ve lived for over five hundred years, then you can talk to me. Then you’ll have some idea of what the hell is vomiting out of your mouth. Until then, you are nothing. You are less than nothing. You’re not even worth the dog shit on the bottom of a shoe. You’re a worthless House rat. There is no world where you are comparable to me. I am your superior in every way. You could worship me from dawn to dusk for years on end, and you still wouldn’t be worth one breath of my time.

“You are the lowest of the low, rat. Low, low, low!”

‘I really don’t like this guy,’ my Analytical Side said. ‘He thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips. And that gives me an idea.’

I saw his plan, and I chuckled. This could be good. Dangerous, but good.

“Now, now, Nebby,” I made calming motions like he was a crazy aunt that needed to cool down and get a grip. “There you go being all emotional again. You and I both know you’re not superior at everything. That just isn’t possible. For one thing, I’m certainly better looking than you.”

I flashed him my best smile and batted my eyelashes at him.

“I’m stronger than you,” Nebby growled. “I’m faster than you. I’m more powerful than you. In every measurable way, I’m vastly superior to you. There is nothing you can do that I can’t do better. I can’t believe you’re this obtuse.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said with a poke-the-bear smirk. “There is no way I’d want to fight you, but I still have some mad skills. How about we have a friendly wager to see if I can kick your ass?”

I gave him an extra big grin. This guy didn’t seem to work well with subtleties.

He snorted.

“You”re asking me to take your pearls? That would be like taking candy from a baby. I’d love to do that, and your tears would water my soul. What, exactly, is this mad skill of yours?”

“I’m great at jigsaw puzzles,” I declared proudly. “I know you think you”re fast and all, but I’m good. Really good.”

Suddenly, all his passion disappeared, and Nebby became calm and cold again.

“Are you trying to hustle me?” he asked. He didn’t seem mad. Instead, he seemed genuinely curious.

‘Go with the truth,’ my Analytical Side suggested. ‘This guy will hook himself.’

“Yes,” I replied with a nonchalant shrug. “You were getting all wound up in your propaganda, so I figured you would make for an easy mark.”

He laughed and it sounded normal, but he showed way too much teeth.

“Little rat, I’ve hustled more people than you’ve met in your entire life. You think you”re smart, but you’re not. You’re just young and naive in the ways of the world.”

I just sat there and smiled back.

“I’ll tell you what, let’s forget all the formalities of the hustle. Let’s assume we’ve already bet some low ball wager. I won, but didn’t play my best. You lost, and didn’t play your best. Then, like all good hustles, you say what you really want to bet. You already know I’m confident I’ll win, so let’s just get to it.”

He leaned forward in anticipation.

“All right, kid. What do you want? What are you willing to lose?”

“I thought I’d take your pearls,” I said with another smirk. “I could use a few more, and since you’re an old mage, I think you might have plenty to spare. I figured the odds would be our difference in years. We could take turns on the same puzzle, and the winner would be whoever puts together the puzzle the quickest. I’m sure the Bank has a timer we could use to keep things fair.”

“You want to wager pearls?” he sighed. “That just shows how young you are. It’s not the money that makes a good wager. Pearls come and pearls go. What you’ll remember years from now are the personal things. You remember how you felt when you won. Or lost. You”re an irritating little rat, so I want to remember this wager fondly. I want you to remember it as well, although, I want you to cringe at the thought.

“Take the pearls, for example. I know you’re angling for huge odds and a huge payout. You have what, maybe a hundred pearls to spend? At five hundred and thirty-two to one odds, you’ll end up with over fifty-three thousand pearls! That’s a fortune for someone as young as you. And when you lose and that whole fortune goes up in smoke, it will hurt.”

He gave an evil chuckle.

“Oh yes, it will hurt a lot.”

I kept smirking at him. The more irritated he was, the more he’d probably wager. If I was lucky, we might be able to pay off the Bank!

“I need something more, though,” he continued. “Pearls don’t excite me.”

He stared deep into my eyes, like he was a snake getting ready to strike.

“I want a finger.”

“You what?” I squeaked. My smirk vanished, and Tyler’s grip on my arm tightened.

“I want a finger,” he repeated. Whatever he saw on my face seemed to turn him on. He licked his lips in anticipation.

I had been feeling confident, but now I was feeling panicked. This guy wanted to maim me.

“Normally, I would take a whole hand, but given the circumstances, that isn’t possible. After all, I can’t be the one responsible for you withdrawing from the tournament. When you fail, it needs to look like you did that yourself. If you lose a finger, though, you should still be able to continue. Of course, you won’t do as well, which will only help my cause.”

He paused in thought.

“Yes. Yes, indeed. A finger will do. That will make me very happy.”

I shook my head. I wasn’t about to give this guy anything like that. Pearls were one thing, but this guy was going into crazy territory.

“It’s too late to back out now,” he said. This time he was smirking at me. “If you don’t take up the challenge you laid down, I’ll duel everyone in House Louisville other than the two of you that are actually on the team. I’ll destroy your whole support structure and tear your friends apart. If you think competing is rough now, wait until you do it on your own.”

The attitude at the table had been tense, but now it shifted to a whole new level of battle readiness. Sandy and John leapt to their feet.

“I don’t think you will find us that easy to handle,” Sandy said tartly.

Nebuchadnezzar never stopped smirking at me.

“You’re a tiny, weak House filled with tiny, weak people,” he said. “I did my homework before I arrived, and I wasn’t impressed. Sure, you had a fight with some two-bit social club of a school and managed to come out on top. But you won’t be fighting at that level with me. I’ve lived for over half of a millennium, and I have the full faith and backing of the Order of Menhet. I have skills and powers at a level you haven’t seen before. Even your mountain troll is nothing before my might. I will smash him to rubble and water my soul with his blood.”

I wasn’t sure about all that, but I did know this guy was powerful. Even if he was only half as powerful as he thought he was, he’d still be a huge distraction. It was time to regain control of this negotiation.

“Nebby, I like the way you think.” I flicked my fingers in the air like all his threats were just fluff in the wind. “If you want to make a memory, let’s make a memory. Let’s start with the pearls. I want to make this hurt, so I’m going to wager three hundred thousand pearls.”

That set Nebuchadnezzar back. The smirk fell off his face.

“That would come to one hundred fifty-nine million pearls,” he snapped. “I don’t believe you have that many pearls to wager, and even if you did, I couldn’t accept. In the miniscule chance you win, that would give you a ridiculous amount of resources to work with. I cannot go against my Order, so we will have to cap the pearls you can win at four hundred thousand. That should still be worth our time and yet not allow an overwhelming advantage.”

Well, damn. I was hoping to win all the pearls we needed right here. Still, wagering about seven hundred and fifty pearls to win four hundred thousand was a great deal.

“Then, in exchange, you will not duel with any of us sitting at the table today or cause us harm in any way, and you won’t interfere in the tournament. You’re only here to monitor the situation, after all. And you seem pretty sure we’ll mess things up on our own, so this is totally in line with that.”

Nebby looked thoughtful.

“As long as you and your House are on the grounds of the Palace, I will not cause any of you harm. I also won’t speak out directly against your tournament efforts, and I won’t directly interfere in your tournament experience. I’ve already planted my ideas in the minds of those I needed to, so it will be fun to just sit back and watch them grow. Plus, I am sure you will screw everything up on your own. That is probably a broader concession than I’d like, so I’ll modify my reward a bit. I get to pick which finger.”

An evil grin spread across his face.

“And I get to bite it off.”

Everyone recoiled, including me.

Damn. This guy was hard core.

“Nebby, you are one sad, strange little man,” I told him. “I don’t know where this weird fetish of yours comes from, but it’s easy to see why you ended up in some psycho Order. Having someone to hate obviously works for you. I think it’s a small, dismal life to live, but it’s your life.

“I think we have a wager, as long as you swear on your magic to abide by the spirit of the agreement as well as the actual wording. You don’t interfere with us, or this tournament, as long as we are on Palace grounds. That also means you leave the staff alone that serves us, you leave the food alone that we eat, and you leave our rooms alone. You butt out of our lives at this tournament and let us either win or lose on our own merits.”

“I can agree to that,” Nebby said happily.

Too happily.

Was he really that confident of his success? Or did he have some way around the spirit of our agreement? It was difficult to tell.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Tyler asked. The rest of them echoed that sentiment.

“I think so,” I replied. “I’m confident I’ll win, and we need this guy off our backs. It’s already going to be hard enough winning this tournament without him trying to mess things up for us.”

Before we actually swore anything, I checked in with my Bank Crystal.

‘Can you help me finalize our agreement?’ I asked. ‘Nebby seems way too happy for comfort.’

‘Of course,’ it replied happily. ‘The Bank is an expert in contract negotiations. There are several obvious holes in the statement of intent. For example, Tyler isn’t technically part of your House, so he would still be in danger. Also, Bermuda and Mr. Tubbles would be considered a gray area. While I’m sure they can take care of themselves, it would be best to provide sanctuary for them as well.’

‘Very good thinking,’ I agreed. ‘Also, it occurs to me that we’re protected from direct attacks by Nebby himself, but what if he hires someone else to attack us?’

‘I was going to discuss that next,’ it said. ‘There are many ways to indirectly influence the tournament, and I’ll try to cover most of them. Wait for a moment while I contact his Bank Stamp and see what I can do.’

I expected it to be busy for several minutes, but it only took a few seconds.

‘Nebuchadnezzar already has several commitments to his Order, so I wasn’t able to lock this agreement down as much as I wanted. He will still be able to see and communicate with you, and he’ll also be able to disparage your team to others. It’s more than possible that he could get other mages riled up enough to attack you or hinder you in some way. However, he won’t be able to directly hire anyone or bribe anyone to go against the team. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do more.’

The Crystal’s sparkles flashed red, and I felt its frustration.

‘You’ve been a huge help,’ I assured it. ‘This agreement is much better than I’d be able to do on my own.’

I read over the new wording, which was still pretty short, and then returned back to Nebby.

“The wager is ready,” I told him. “Review it, and then swear on your magic.”

“I swear on my magic to this wager,” he declared. His eyes never left mine, and I don’t think he reviewed the wager at all. “Should any part of this wager seek to remain after four weeks, it will automatically terminate, and I will be free of any bindings.”

Ohhhhh. That was a good addition to add. I hadn’t thought about how this ended. Technically, with the original wording, we could have stayed at the Palace for years and been safe from this guy.

I echoed his swear, and then we tapped Bank Stamps, sealing the deal. Nebby directed one of the waitstaff to run to the library and bring back a jigsaw puzzle with at least two thousand pieces. Everyone sat back down again, and while we waited, he ordered a drink.

“You know, you seem like a real asshole,” I told Nebby, “but this is one time I don’t want to give you the finger.”

John laughed so hard he snorted, and that eased the tension a bit. Nebby looked confused, so I guess the joke didn’t translate well.

“Just so you know, you hustled yourself,” Nebby said smugly. “I happen to like jigsaw puzzles. I started playing them when they were actually made out of wood and the pieces were cut out by hand. I’ve played thousands and thousands of puzzles, and it is going to be a true pleasure taking your pearls and your finger.”

He snapped his teeth at me and then licked his lips.

Well, that didn’t sound good. I tried my best to look confident, but this guy was getting to me.

“Just do what you do best,” Tyler said as he held my hand. “You take situations that should be impossible and come back stronger. This is just like every other time. Even if you lose today, you’ll be down a few pearls and a finger. You’ve recovered from much worse than that.”

I took a deep breath and let it out. Tyler was right. I’d gotten punched in the face by a golem. That was my baseline for nasty things to happen to me. I’d recovered from that, and I’d recover from this too. Of course, it would take time to recover, and I only had until tomorrow. But, I’d make it work. Somehow.

“And if you do get hurt, I’ll give you a kiss and make it all better.” Tyler gave me his beautiful, warm smile.

I burst out laughing.

“That better be one hell of a kiss!” I exclaimed.

“Oh, it will be!” Tyler replied. His warm, chocolate eyes told me he would always be there for me, even if I was down a digit. I gave his hand a grateful squeeze, and he squeezed back.

I also took hope from Bermuda. He’d finished taking a bath, and now he was just chilling. He was casually looking around, taking in the sights and sounds of the buffet, and he didn’t seem worried about our nutty visitor. If he was chill, I could be chill too.

I took another deep breath and then decided to pump Nebby for more info.

“Quick question while we’re waiting,” I said. “What is Menhet?”

The others looked at me strangely, but Nebby just sighed.

“Not what—who,” he snapped. “Menhet is a goddess from Egypt. Her name means She Who Massacres or The Slaughterer.

“So the whole club is themed around mass killing?” I asked incredulously. “Nebby, I really think you need to find some new friends.”

“It’s not a club,” he snapped. “It’s an Order, like the Order of the Garter or the Order of Solomon”s Temple. We dedicate ourselves to the principles of equality and justice for all in the supernatural world.”

“You just said the name of your club is about slaughtering mages,” I pointed out. “That’s not equality and justice. That’s being a bunch of mass murderers.”

“Shunning the House and removing it from this world is the epitome of justice,” Nebuchadnezzar said piously. “It is our life’s work, and hopefully, soon, it will be our crowning achievement.”

“You’re a villain,” I said in wonder. “Like a real life supervillain. You’ve got power, you’re crazy, and you think that killing a bunch of people is a good idea. It doesn’t get any more villainous than that.”

“You say villain. I say crusader.” Nebuchadnezzar shrugged, unconcerned. “It’s just different sides of the conflict.”

“Are the rest of your buddies in your mom’s basement just as crazy as you are?” I asked. Nebby seemed confused at the modern terminology, but then I guess the translator sorted it out for him, as his face darkened in fury.

“We’re not just some club in a basement,” he snarled. “We are a sacred Order. We have allies and comrades in all organizations and at all levels of power. We are everywhere—listening and planning your doom. We are in the shadows, and we will strike when the House least expects it. You can watch for us, plan for us, defend against us, but it will avail you nothing!”

Oh boy. This guy was starting to sound all biblical again. He talked about how easy it was to fool other mages, but he had certainly drunk the Kool-Aid himself.

I wasn’t sure how many people were actually part of this Order. As much as I enjoyed teasing him, it was certainly more than a few people in a basement. On the other hand, this tournament had thousands of mages attending, and yet they had to send him as a special agent? If they had “comrades” everywhere and were “always watching,” then he wouldn’t have been needed.

Secret societies enjoyed being secret, so I doubted I’d get a straight answer out of him. And maybe he didn’t know himself. He was certainly an older, powerful mage, though, and they were using him as an agent. So that meant there were probably mages older and more powerful than him running the show. The Grand Matron needed to know about this.

I was sure Sandy would send a message about what we’d learned later. For now, the waiter was back with the puzzle, and it was almost show time.

I couldn’t believe how nervous I felt. My mouth was dry, my palms were sweaty, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I should have felt confident, but Nebby had gotten to me. What if he really was as good as he said? What if he had some sort of magic sight like mine? Or some sort of skill that made him very fast at solving puzzles? The guy had been around over five hundred years, so he had to have some mad skills.

I must have looked as nervous as I felt, as Tyler put his arm around me and pulled me in tight. Annabeth took my other hand and started humming a soothing tune. I took deep breaths and tried to relax. I needed to be alert and loose in order to do my best.

“I’ll go first and show you how it”s done,” Nebuchadnezzar said with a sinister smile. His eyes were wide, and he was obviously enjoying how apprehensive I was.

The waiters cleared off half the table to give us room to work, and then gave it a good wipe down to make sure there were no sticky spots to interfere with the challenge. The puzzle itself was a landscape of a castle on a hill. It was pretty and didn’t seem to be too difficult. If I was doing it with Tyler, I’d probably split it into three sections: the sky, the hill with the castle, and the foreground which was filled with pretty flowers.

Both of us had done lots of puzzles together while I’d been recovering, and we used them as a playful way to train our magic senses. We didn’t race to get them done, though, as the real fun was in the journey. There was a special kind of joy I received from feeling it come together. It was like Sudoku in that it just felt right. It made the problem solving side of my brain very happy.

Usually, it would take the two of us a little under an hour to finish a puzzle like this. Which was pretty amazing considering the average time for a mundane to complete a two thousand piece puzzle was about seventeen hours. I couldn’t help but wonder how fast Nebby was going to be. Over ninety minutes? An hour?

“There are a couple of rules we should agree on before we start,” Nebby said. “The puzzle challenge starts with the puzzle in a closed box. The challenger starts with both hands flat on the table. Once he raises his hands, the time starts. The time will be recorded by a third party Bank Stamp. Once the puzzle is finished, the challenger will need to declare they are done and put both hands flat on the table again. At that point, the timer stops, and the challenge is complete. Do we have an agreement?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “That sounds reasonable.”

We agreed that the waiter who had gone to get the puzzle would also be our timekeeper. Nebby sat down at the table and put the puzzle box in front of him. He took a deep breath, centering himself. Then he put both hands flat on the table and gave the waiter a nod.

“Go!” the waiter commanded, and Nebuchadnezzar burst into action. The top was off the box and the first pieces were being sorted before I had time to blink.

I usually start by dumping the pieces out, flipping them all picture-side up, and then assembling the edges of the puzzle first. Nebby didn’t even wait to do that. He treated it like little mini puzzles, and within the first thirty seconds, he was already putting the castle together.

Crap!

This guy wasn’t kidding. He really was good at puzzles.

He wasn’t only good at solving puzzles; he was also moving extremely fast. His hands were a blur as he moved the pieces around.

The only thing that gave me hope was that he was testing the pieces like a regular person to see if they would fit. The pieces weren’t wooden. Instead, they were made of stiff cardboard, like a modern jigsaw puzzle, so he couldn’t be too fast or rough with them.

Still, his hands were flying, and he had a great eye for color. He was testing pieces, but it wasn’t taking many tries before they found their match.

At the end of the first minute, he had most of the pieces sorted and most of the castle together. At the end of the second minute, all the pieces were picture-side up and sorted into regions. The castle was completely finished, and he was working on the surrounding hill.

The third minute saw the edges of the puzzle assembled, and the clear line where the green hill met the blue sky was complete. The sky had some fluffy clouds, so he used their edges to rough in the clouds and place them in their general location. That didn’t leave many white pieces, so he quickly filled in the middle of the clouds before working the rest of the sky around them.

At six minutes, he had the sky finished, and he was working his way down the hill.

Damn!

Damn, damn, damn!

At eight minutes, the hill was done, and he started in on the foreground. I thought he’d fly through it, but the flowers were small and out of focus. It didn’t have nice defined sections like clouds to work with, so he was having to test the pieces a lot before they found a home.

This was the last section, though, and as the number of remaining pieces dwindled, the puzzle started filling in faster and faster. The last piece fell into place, and he slapped both hands flat on the table.

“Done!” he declared, and the waiter nodded.

“Ten minutes, fifty-nine seconds,” the waiter announced.

Nebuchadnezzar looked triumphant as I sat back stunned.

“That is how you hustle a mark,” he announced triumphantly.

I had to agree.

If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have said it was possible to solve a jigsaw puzzle of this size in that time. I had a sinking feeling that one of my hands was going to get mutilated fairly soon.

Nebby was watching me, and he grinned as he saw the realization hit home. He clicked his teeth at me and made a point of looking at my hands, like he was trying to pick out the juiciest digit for him to snack on.

He was psyching me out enough, so I looked around at my team for support. What I saw echoed in their faces was the same realization that I’d come to. I was probably going to lose.

The timekeeper started breaking the completed puzzle down, so I still had a few minutes to get myself together. I took a deep breath, which usually helped, but it came out shaky. I needed to calm down.

“Jason, how many fingers am I holding up?” John asked with a grin. He was holding up both hands, with his forefingers tucked back like they were missing.

“John!” Sandy gasped. “That’s not funny!” She smacked his arm, but I’d already started laughing. It was ridiculous and dumb, and that was exactly what I needed at that moment. My laughter gave the others permission to let loose, and soon we were all cackling and holding up hands with missing fingers.

“You know, you”re so good-looking I can’t take you anywhere,” Tyler said as his eyes twinkled. “We can’t even have breakfast without someone asking for your digits.”

For some reason, that felt even more irreverent than what John had done, which made it even funnier. We howled with laughter until Sandy decided to get in on the action.

“When all this is over, I’ll have to make your new favorite dish,” she said. Then she started laughing so hard she couldn’t get out her own punchline. We had no idea what it was, but she was so tickled we couldn’t help but giggle with her. Finally she gasped out “Fingerling potatoes!” which set us off again.

I looked to Annabeth to see if she had something to contribute, but she shook her head. “I got nothing,” she admitted, “but I know you’ll do your best and we’ll be proud of you.” She gave me a big hug, and my eyes welled up with tears from all the emotions flying through me.

This was intense!

The waiter finished breaking down the puzzle, and now it was my turn. I got up and walked back and forth a few times, taking deep breaths. The support coming from my crew was real, and I certainly appreciated the comic relief. I needed to finish pulling it together, though, and come up with a plan.

Nebuchadnezzar was enjoying every moment of my discomfort, but I ignored him. He couldn’t help me or hurt me right now. My crew became silent, but I ignored them too.

This was all about me and my mental space. I needed to find my center, my calm strength, and I already knew how to get there.

I sat down in front of the puzzle, closed my eyes, and began with acceptance. I hadn’t expected to end up in this situation this morning, but that was okay. Life happens. I accepted that.

I didn’t expect to end up last in the ranking and have an old, powerful, crazy mage show up to gloat. But that was okay. I accepted that.

I hadn’t expected him to be that freaking good. I breathed and accepted that too. I was fighting to keep us together. I was fighting to keep my friends safe. Those were things that were worth fighting for.

I breathed and felt the jittery part of my nervousness wash away. I was left with stable excitement. That was good. I could work with that.

I called out my ten Surfer Dudes and shared the images of what I needed them to do.

‘This has got to be the fastest and most precise you’ve ever moved. Like, we have to put this puzzle together Superman-fast. Are you ready?’ I asked them.

They gave me a thumbs up as they lazily surfed through the air in front of me. That seemed like a very appropriate response, given the circumstances.

I touched base with Tea next.

‘I need all the mental speed and clarity you can give me,’ I told him.

‘Of course,’ he rustled. ‘Have no doubt. You’ve got this.’

Finally, I sank my magic sight into the box of puzzle pieces in front of me. Nebby started grumbling about how long I was taking to get ready, but I continued to ignore him. Instead, I felt the pieces. One side was smooth with the picture, the other side rough. I caressed their edges. I smelled them. I tasted how dry they were, like an old cracker. I saw how much space existed between their cardboard fibers.

I listened to them, and each piece vibrated like a note in a song. I put it all together, and their song seemed eager to compose itself. I was ready.

I put both hands on the table in front of me and opened my eyes.

“Finally!” Nebuchadnezzar exclaimed loudly.

I looked at the timekeeper calmly and nodded my head.

“Go!” the waiter commanded, and I sprang into motion.

My movements were so smooth and fast, even I was shocked. The colors were vibrant and clear. My mind was sharp and focused. Tea was working his magic!

I whipped off the top of the box and immediately started sending commands to my Dudes. I didn’t have to send words, only images. That piece goes there.

My Surfers are insanely fast, and I found they were placing pieces faster than I could direct them.

So I stopped directing them.

Instead, I let them read me and what my magic sight was picking up. They picked out the pieces they wanted to move, and my mental mapping told them where they should go.

I’d always had a flair for puzzles, and my solving mind snapped into place like never before. I wasn’t just using regular sight. I was listening to the pieces, and it seemed like the puzzle itself told me how it wanted to be laid out.

I just relaxed and let the solution flow. I was the conductor, and the puzzle was my symphony.

The pieces flew out of the box and gracefully locked together. There wasn’t any trial and error. I knew the piece was going to fit before it even moved.

The edges of the puzzle came together first, as that was just the way I liked to work. Then I grew the puzzle inward. My magic sight didn’t work with colors, so I didn’t need to break it up in regions. My Surfers placed pieces on every open edge, and the puzzle filled in like frost on a windowpane.

“Done!” I declared and slapped my hands flat on the table.

I looked up, and everyone was frozen in shock.

“Twenty-six seconds,” the timekeeper finally stammered, and my crew erupted with joy.

I was so surprised I just sat there. It had seemed like minutes, not just seconds. Tyler was so excited he jumped in the air and yelled in pure excitement. Then they all ran around the table to hug me and congratulate me at the top of their lungs.

Annabeth was so relieved she cried, and Sandy almost joined her. As the realization hit me that I’d won, I felt a bit weak-kneed myself.

We were safe. I was richer. And I wasn’t going to have my finger chewed off.

This was shaping up to be an amazing day!

I thought Nebby might throw a few curses my way, but instead, he got to his feet and walked off without saying a thing. He’d lost, and now he had to honor our wager. He wasn’t going to be a gracious loser, so I guess there wasn’t anything he needed to say.

Or that’s what I thought, until my magic sight caught him giving a faint smile. And I heard him faintly humming a jaunty tune under his breath.

‘Something is off,’ my Analytical Side said quickly. ‘He’s not reacting like some crazy zealot. He just lost a bunch of pearls and his chance to collect a grisly trophy, so he should be pissed off. Instead, he’s acting like he had a bit of fun and now he’s off to do more important things. That doesn’t match up.’

I completely agreed, but I didn’t want to sit and stew about it at the moment. My crew was ecstatic, and I wanted to celebrate with them. We whooped and hollered and hugged all around.

That left us hungry, of course, so it seemed like an excellent time for a third trip to the buffet. This time I went with a breakfast casserole. It looked yummy, but I decided to celebrate and really go overboard, so I smothered it in sausage gravy. It looked insane, but it smelled delicious.

When we got back, we discussed all the crazy shit Nebby had talked about. I told them what I’d seen at the end, and everyone agreed it didn’t add up. Sandy put everything together in a message and sent it to both the Grand Matron and Aamya, the Head of House Hyderabad. Hopefully, they would know more about the Order of Menhet than we did and would find it useful.

Before we got too much into our day, I checked with my Bank Crystal to make sure my winnings had been transferred over. I was hoping I didn’t have to chase down Nebby to get my money.

‘The pearls were transferred as soon as you were the uncontested winner,’ my Bank Crystal said proudly. ‘Never fear, my young mage. I’m looking out for your best interests. If there had been a problem, I would have alerted you immediately.’

‘Thank you,’ I said and sent it images of pressure, heat, and connection in the stones of the earth. Penny had taught me that was the equivalent of a metal hug. My Crystal seemed surprised, but thrilled, and sent me back the image of getting a hug from a huge man that looked like the Kingpin from the comics. The Kingpin is known for being a villain, rather than a cuddly hugger, but it was close enough.

“The team scoring has been officially released,” Tock said after he flew to the center of the table. “This would be an excellent time to review it before we move on with our day.”

“I agree,” Sandy said. “We already know we’re last, but let’s see the list of teams anyway.”

Tock snapped his fingers, and a list of teams appeared in the air beside him. He did it with a flourish, and then gave me a happy grin. He’d certainly come a long way from the blocky apparition that froze all the time. He was still relying on our magic, though. I made a mental note to see about fixing that later. Surely, there had to be a way to reroute some of the power the bigger apparitions were getting.

The first place team was called Angels of Mercy, and they had 4,730 points. That seemed like a strange name for a fighting team, but it was obviously working for them. The top ten teams all had lots of points, but it fell off pretty quickly from there. It was just as I suspected; the premier teams had arrived first and snagged most of the easy quests.

I could tell because Tock had not only provided the scoring; he’d also added columns showing the number of quests, main stories, orc kills, and player kills. The Angels of Mercy must have been pretty badass, as they’d completed eight quests, four story lines, one hundred ninety-two orc kills, and twenty-one player kills. Even with getting there before us, it was still an impressive haul. There wasn’t anything listed about closing orc portals, but that only affected a few teams so I’m sure it wasn’t worth its own column.

Tock started scrolling quickly, and once we got past a hundred teams, the scores settled around 260. Most of the teams at that level had completed one mini quest, killed a couple orcs, and maybe knocked off one or two players. At seven hundred teams, the score dropped down to 20, and at eight hundred, the scores started dipping below zero.

Their tally in the player kills column was negative, which I could only assume meant that they actually helped other players stay alive. The negative scores still weren’t too bad, trending down to a negative one hundred points. Then Tock reached last place, and Sandy gasped. We all just stared at it for a moment. The number didn’t seem real.

-7,420.

Damn!

Like, seriously? Holy shit!

Nebby hadn’t been kidding. I could see why this was a record. I just wished it was a good record, not a bad one.

Sandy recovered first. “Can we see exactly how that score breaks down?”

Tock snapped his fingers, and the list was replaced with the details for our team.

Team House Louisville

Quests: 7 * 100 = 700

Quest Stories Completed: 2 * 200 = 400

Orc kills: 167 * 10 = 1,670

Player kills: -1119 * 10 = -11,190

Portal Bonus: 1,000

Final Score: -7,420

Note: A probability study was commissioned to determine the effects of the beacon lights and the crowd chant on the other players. If it was probable that the team would have survived on their own, no points were assessed against you. If it was probable that the team would not have returned, then the entire team was counted against you. The projected margin of error for this study was 1.9 percent. The judges manually reviewed this case and rounded the number in your favor. This ruling is final. Good luck in the next stage of the tournament.

“I’m so sorry,” Annabeth said. She put her hands over her face and shook her head, like seeing the score was just too much. “I never should have suggested we help the teams the way we did. This is all my fault.”

“Of course it’s not your fault,” I said quickly and leaned over to put my arm around her. “This isn’t anyone’s fault. We just did what felt right to us, and the scoring didn’t like it. That’s all. Besides, I’m the one that lit up the exit. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”

Annabeth protested again that it was really her fault. And I told her again it wasn’t, it was mine. She just needed to talk for a bit to process the score, and I didn’t mind hashing the same thing over a few times. The others just sat back, ate a bit, and let us talk it out.

Unlike Annabeth, I felt strangely calm about coming in last. It was what it was. There was nothing I could do about it right at that moment. It just meant that we had to try harder in future quests to get our score up. At some point, a low score would kick us out of the tournament. But hopefully, it wouldn’t be for a few more rounds yet. There was time to bring it up.

I started having a bit of fun with our back and forth, and every time it was my turn I exaggerated more and more. It wasn’t just the score that was my fault—this whole tournament was my fault. I should have let all the mages rot in the midnight sun and gone around and stolen their clothes. Then we could have sold their clothes on consignment and raised money for House awareness. That got me the hairy eyeball.

“Are you making fun of me?” Annabeth peered at me suspiciously.

“Not at all,” I shook my head mournfully. “It’s my fat cheeks. Nobody likes a skinny guy with fat cheeks. That”s why they hate me.”

“You don’t have fat cheeks!” She burst out laughing. “There isn’t anything fat about you. And nobody could hate you. You’re too sweet.”

“It’s true!” I mock-protested. “Bermuda smacks my fat cheeks all the time! He’s like ‘move it fat cheeks and get me some food!’”

Bermuda looked at me like “Daddy, you are batshit crazy. I think I’m going to ignore you now.” He looked away as I puffed out my cheeks like a blowfish and began making slurping noises.

“Stop it!” Annabeth was laughing for real now. I made blowfish cheeks at her and tried to look sad all at the same time. I think I just managed to look cross-eyed as Annabeth smacked my arm.

“Jason, stop!” She was still laughing, so I was going to really ramp up the physical comedy, when Gold Trim stopped by. He very politely let us know that if we were done with our breakfast, then Darius was ready to see us for our interview.

I was grateful for the distraction, and I think we were all ready to get out of there. Before we moved on, though, I had a question about the scoring.

“Tock, I don’t see a column for pearls,” I said quickly. “Surely we got points for the pearls we collected.”

“I should have mentioned this sooner,” Tock replied, “as I get asked that at every tournament. The pearls are considered to be their own reward, and no additional points are awarded for them. The pearls help the teams to recoup their entrance fees and provide funds for spending at the Palace or the fair. Whatever your team collects is yours to keep, but the tournament doesn’t actually track them. They have no bearing on your ranking or placement in the tournament.”

I was surprised, but that did make sense. The tournament had given us points for quests and stories, so the pearls were just an added bonus.

“Before we move on, I wanted to say that I’m very proud of you,” Tock continued. “I didn’t expect a House team to be able to complete even one quest. Especially since you arrived in the realm as the last team. For you to have completed two story lines is just amazing. On top of that, you stopped a wave of orcs and closed a portal on your own. Even the top teams couldn’t have done that with just two people.”

He paused and looked at us in wonder.

“I knew this team was special, of course, but now I’m beginning to believe you might actually go far in this tournament.”

He gave us all a deep bow.

“I can’t tell you how exciting this is for me. Most of the teams I’ve worked with have lost in the first round. For you all to be going onto the second round is already a big achievement. I know your current score seems disheartening, but it won’t come into play until later rounds. You still have time to gain points and get it back to where it needs to be.

“If you look at just your positive scores, you made 3770 points, which would put you in the top ten. I know you’ll do better next time, and I’ll be here to help you every way I can. I wouldn’t worry too much. You’ll be back to zero points in no time!”

I appreciated the pep talk, but the thought of doing all that work just to get back to zero didn’t exactly fill me with hope and joy. Still, it seemed to have inspired Annabeth. She seemed to be out of her funk, and she wasted no time telling Tock just how cute and amazing he was. Tock then told Annabeth just how cute and amazing she was, and they probably could have gone back and forth for a while, but Sandy got to her feet and said it was time to go.

Bermuda decided he was done with all this chatter and hopped into my Throne Room to get some quality nap time. Sandy started tipping the waiters, and I got ready to stand up when Annabeth grabbed my arm and gave me a serious look.

“Jason, can you ask Tea to give me night vision?”

“Of course!” I replied. I was surprised, as this seemed to totally come out of the blue, but it was an excellent idea.

“I’m sure the last quest won’t be the only dark environment we end up in,” she explained, “and if both of us can see at night, it could give us a real advantage. Plus, if we end up in a situation like last time, I’ll be able to see the exit on my own. Then you won’t have to light up a tower, and we won’t lose points for saving mages.”

Ahhh. That’s where this was coming from. She was still feeling bad about our last place finish.

“I wanted to ask you this morning,” she continued, “as I know it takes a while for the changes to happen. If it’s possible, I wanted to get started sooner rather than later. Maybe it will be ready for the next quest, and if not, the quest after that.”

I nodded to let her know I agreed with her as I reached out to Tea.

‘Tea, can you do this?’ I asked. ‘Normally her aura would shut you out, but we’ve sworn to each other, so it shouldn’t be a problem.’

‘I think so,’ he replied hopefully. ‘I should be able to use her magic to grow the spores and make the necessary changes.’

‘Then let’s try it,’ I said. ‘The only thing is, the spores make people really loopy, and I can’t have her tripping out of her mind tomorrow at the quest. Start off slow and see how she reacts.’

‘That shouldn’t be a problem.’ Tea replied. ‘After her eyes are adjusted, do you want us to work on the rest of her? I know she’s already done a lot with her healing charms, but my Grove can do so much more.’

‘Absolutely!’ I said. ‘Don’t stop until she’s the best she can possibly be. But do it slowly enough that she can still fight.’

I quickly relayed what Tea had said and passed over three Ents to get started. I’d keep an eye on her, and if she could handle more, I’d add them later.

I left the table feeling excited. Sure, we were in last place, but now Annabeth was going to get stronger and stronger as we went along. She’d already done so much with the training, her singing, and her healing runes, but Tea and his Grove were a whole different level. He could do so much more than heal. He’d transformed my body to be the best it could possibly be, and hopefully, he could do the same for Annabeth.

Now that the process was underway, it was time to get interviewed and hopefully make a good first impression.