Chapter Nineteen

Keely

The familiar hum of conversation and clinking glasses fills Oakley's as I process payments for bar tabs.

With Reeve getting cleared to travel with the team this week, I find my eyes darting to the TV screen more often than I mean to at the Hawkeyes game.

He looked as excited as a kid packing for summer camp when I brought over dinner a few nights ago. I sat on his bed while we ate Chinese food, and he told me about the lineup of teams they would play and the level of difficulty he felt that the team would have with each game.

It was like having my very own sports channel broadcaster giving the rundown, and I hung on every word. Maybe someday—hopefully a long time from now,Reeve could be a sports reporter when he retires from playing. Though I think he would be a great coach too. I think Reeve can pretty much do anything he wants to.

There's been a void around the apartment for the last couple of days since he's been gone, so when the cameraman flashes over to Reeve sitting in the seats with Hawkeyes fans who came to the away game, my eyes lock on, and I forget what I'm doing. It's been five weeks today since the accident, and next week, we will find out if the Hawkeyes doctor will clear him to play.

"Earth to Keely!" Penelope's voice cuts through my thoughts. "The card reader has been beeping at you for a solid minute."

I blink away my stare and then stare down at the black card reader with its red light flashing at me, "Remove the card for the reader"… oops. "Sorry. I guess I zoned out."

Autumn leans in, her voice lowered to avoid anyone but the girls around her to hear. "Thinking about a certain injured goalie?"

"I'm just worried about his recovery," I deflect and then run the next card stacked by me.

Tessa snorts. "Sure, that's all it is."

Before I can respond, a newcomer saddles up to the bar next to them with a huff as she flops down on a bar stool.

"You're here!" Penelope says, sitting too close and pulling the woman with short brown hair in against her for a side hug.

"Thank God that Seven is out of town this week. I love the man but he thinks every chapter I write needs 'inspiration'. I swear he thinks that my apartment is a nudist colony. I can't get him to put on any clothes," she huffs. "I love him, and the sex is incredible, but if he doesn't let me finish this book, I'm calling HR for sexual harassment."

"You can't call HR. He's doing pro-boner work," Tessa teases, and all the girls bust up laughing.

"Just do what I do and tell him that "good boys get treats." Autumn says. "I don't withhold sex because that hurts us both, but if Briggs wants a surprise, he has to check something off the honey-do list."

"What's the surprise?" Brynn asks.

"I purchase something online. It can be really simple—nothing crazy. Like, last month, he opened a package that came in from the mail while I was in Walla Walla visiting our parents and he opened it. It's a new fancy spatula for large cookies, but… that's not what he thought it was for," Autumn says, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Tessa asks.

"I came home to the entire house clean from top to bottom, and the new shower head I ordered was put in our master bathroom."

The girls all laugh again.

The door to Oakley's opens, and I give a casual, quick glance, a force of habit. We have to keep track of our body count inside the building to keep off the fire department's shit list. They're always nice enough, but it's better if we can avoid someone calling us in for the violation.

My eyes flash back to the door when I realize who just walked in—Jaxson.

He takes a quick look around in search of someone. His easy smile lights up his face as he spots me.

The more time I spend around him, the more I can see why women left balloons and flower arrangements by his office door.

He weaves through the crowd, heading straight for me, not taking his eyes off me for a second. His dark blue scrubs with a black puffy Patagonia jacket over the top

I can't help but notice the women and a few men who rubberneck when he walks by, and I get why. He's gorgeous—tall and broad—a great soccer player and seems to be a really good guy if my gauge of him is accurate.

"Keely," he says, leaning against the bar. "This place is packed. I've never been here except during happy hour."

"Oh really? Surgeons don't get days off?" I tease, remembering what Sarah said, that he doesn't take much time off.

Aaron hands a fan a drink he ordered, and then he moves past Jaxson, giving Jaxson a spot to lean up against the bar.

"I don't take too many nights off, but I was going over case notes and needed to walk to clear my head. I figured you might be here."

The girls sitting nearby go quiet, and I can feel their gaze on us. I glance quickly at them to find that they all are sporting frowns.

A moment later, a fan walks up behind them and asks if she can get a picture with the 'girls of the Hawkeyes.' They smile, and all agree, giving Jaxson and me some privacy.

The fan's request reminds me that my father's transgressions could blow up at any time, causing not only an issue for Reeve's career but everyone else in the Hawkeyes' family. Could I live with myself if I did that to them?

Jaxson leans in closer across the bar. He smells clean, like mint with just a hint of coffee. I can already see him in his office late at night in the hospital, going on patient files, chewing gum to stay awake, and sipping on stale coffee from the last batch that the reception staff made on his floor before going home.

There's something sexy about a surgeon who cares about his work and the lives he's changing.

"Listen, Keely. There's a real reason for why I came down here. I was wondering if you'd like to grab dinner sometime."

My heart thumps against my chest at his request.

Dinner… he wants dinner.

"He's no Reeve." my brain objects.

And then, my peripheral vision, snags on the four women smiling and taking pictures with happy fans.

I don't get to have Reeve, that's a cruel truth. Not if I care about all these people in his life who are now in mine.

Jaxson is undeniably attractive, kind, and successful. If Reeve weren't in the picture, I would have already agreed, looking forward to calling Paula and telling her that Seattle is already looking up.

Then the sound of people on TV going wild, and the flashing light at the stadium cause me to glance over at the TV.

Reeve's on the screen again, sitting with the fans, wearing some hilarious homemade foam hat that a fan must have lent him.

My heart warms as I watch him on TV and then he turns around with the cameras at his back.

A piece of duct tape covers his last name and written over it in chunky black marker he wrote Mr. Woods on the back.

My belly flips and I bite down on the inside of my lip to keep my smile from growing too large.

The bar starts to laugh as people see it.

He's so happy to be with the team and to be with the fans.

This is his happy place, and I care about him too much for him to carry the burden that my father set on my shoulders. Someday, if he ever finds out he'll thank me for this.

When I look back to Jaxson, who just witnessed Reeves's stunt. He looks at me in question, and then I know my answer.

"I'd love to," I say. "But can you wait? I promised myself that I would finish Reeve's rehab before I dated anyone."

He nods. "I understand. The patient comes first."

"He meets with Hawkeyes doctor next Thursday, how about after that?"

Jaxson's warm smile goes a long way to make me feel like I'm doing the right thing.

"I have Sunday night off. Does that work?"

I nod, and then I notice Sarah's husband, the anesthesiologist in full Hawkeyes' gear as he walks up and pats Jaxson on the back. "Who let you out of the hospital? Come have a beer with me," he tells Jaxson.

Jaxson turns to look back at me, searching for his answer.

I nod. "It's a date."

It's just after midnight when my uncle tells me I can head back to the apartment, but he makes me wait for him to walk out to my car.

The fans have dwindled, but after the girls left an hour ago, I went to the back to jump on inventory since the next game is supposed to be busier because it will be the weekend.

I grab my jacket and my purse to head out when I see my uncle still processing card payments.

"Just a second, Keely. I just have a couple to finish and then I'll walk you."

"I can do it," I hear Jaxson's voice.

I turn to find that he's still in the bar.

"You're still here? I thought you left?" I ask, pleasantly surprised to see him.

Jaxson tucks his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"You looked busy with the crowd earlier. I didn't want to get in the way. And it turned out that a few guys from the surgery department were here to watch the game so I stuck around. If you're headed out, I'll walk with you."

"That would be great, thanks." I turn to my uncle who I just now realize is watching us with a steady eye. "Jaxson is going to take me so you don't have to leave Aaron and ——."

"Okay," he says, with a weary tone.

It catches me off guard since he seemed to be a big fan of Jaxson. Or at least a big fan of Jaxson getting me back out on the field.

"I'll text you when I get back to my apartment," I tell my uncle over my shoulder as I round the bar, pulling my own jacket on.

It's a newer puffy down jacket that I bought after realizing that the coat I brought with me from Arizona wasn't going to keep me warm this winter in Washington, and I can't expect Reeve to be around to give me his hoodie every time it's pouring down rain.

Jaxson leads me out of the bar and soon, the cool Seattle night air nips at my cheeks as we walk along the sidewalk, headed for my car. The street is quiet, with only a few people hurrying by, collars turned up against the chill. It's a clear night tonight, the moon casting a soft glow on the wet pavement, reflecting in puddles left by an earlier rain.

"So, how are you liking Seattle so far?" Jaxson asks, his breath visible in the cold air.

I hug my new jacket closer, grateful for its warmth. Is it weird that I resent it for not smelling like Reeve? Instead, it still has that department store smell mixed with a little bit of me.

"It's different from Arizona, that's for sure. But I'm starting to feel at home here. Did you grow up in Seattle?"

"I actually grew up in Sacramento, California," Jaxson replied. "But I've been in Seattle for about ten years now, since medical school. It feels like home."

He's been out of school for ten years so that makes him four to five years older than me.

"I can see why. There's something charming about it, even with all the rain."

Jaxson chuckles. "Give it some time, and you'll get used to the rain."

As we approach the crosswalk, Jaxson instinctively places a gentle hand on the back of my arm. We wait for the WALK sign to illuminate, and then Jaxson and I look both ways before we start across the street.

The memory of being in this crosswalk with Reeve flashes through my mind every time I walk through it.

We get to the other side safely and start walking through the parking lot toward my car.

"So… becoming a doctor. When did you decide to take on a mountain of school debt and pick a career where you work a million hours," I ask.

He takes a deep breath and then exhales, the heat of his mouth blowing out billows of steam. "When I was young, I thought I'd become a professional soccer player. Or, more accurately, my father wanted me to be a professional soccer player. I received a full-ride scholarship to play soccer, and I thought I was on the path I was meant to be on. Then, one fateful night changed everything. I couldn't even look at a soccer ball for years."

"What happened?"

"Let's just say that soccer did me dirty and I didn't want anything to do with it. The next day my mom found out that my dad gambled away our house, and she divorced him. I decided I wanted to do something good for others and being a doctor seemed to fit the bill."

I'm taken aback by how similar our stories are. Both of our fathers are the worst, and we both went into the medical field to help others. Mine might have been to clear my father's karma that seems to keep following me around, but also because Paula gave me a new passion when one dream I thought had died with my injury.

Jaxson also suffered a traumatic event and it pushed him into medicine and making a difference. Maybe Jaxson and I are more compatible than I thought. Maybe he's not just the alternate choice from Reeve? What if he turns out to be the better choice?

The soft glow of my phone illuminates while I lay on my bed.

Reeve's name comes over my phone, and my lips pull into a wide, dopey grin the second I see it.

"Hey, how's the road trip going?" I ask casually, trying not to let him know how happy I am that he's calling.

"It's alright. The guys are in rare form tonight. I think Briggs is trying to convince the rookies that he once wrestled a bear in Alaska, but it's more like he got in a slapping match with the Bears hockey team mascot… while we played them in Alaska."

I laugh, picturing the scene of Briggs having it out with a plush mascot. With all that padded fur, it must have been more of a pillow fight.

"And how are you doing? Have you been keeping up with your stretches?"

"Yes, doc." There's a hint of playful exasperation in his tone. "I've been a good patient, I promise. How about you? How was Oakley's tonight?"

I hesitate for a second, not completely sure if I should tell him about the date with Jaxson. Instead, I remember the moment on TV that I caught. "It was... interesting. The girls all came in, and I finally got to meet Brynn. The girls all gave her some interesting advice."

"Oh yeah? What kind of advice?"

I consider telling him about the honey-do list and the spatula but decide against it. Girl talk is meant for girls. Reeve doesn't need to hear it.

"Never mind about that actually, you'd find it boring," Yeah right, not a chance. "I saw your stunt tonight with the jersey."

I can practically hear his toothy grin over the phone. "Oh yeah? You saw that?"

"I did." I bite down on my lip, then decide to push forward with what I need to tell him. "Actually, something else happened tonight. Dr. Morgan came into the bar."

The silence on the other end of the line stretched for a moment.

"Jaxson was there?" Reeve's voice comes in quiet.

"Yeah," I say. "He, um... he asked me out on a date."

More heavy silence falls between us, thick with unspoken words. Finally, he speaks again. "Oh? And what did you say?"

My heart races and my stomach swirls uncomfortably. "I told him I'm not in a good place to date right now. That I need to finish what I started with your recovery first."

I hear the sound of Reeve blowing out a heavy breath and my heart sinks but this is the right thing for him… for both of us. We can't be together, so inevitably, one of us has to move on first. And with him wearing a jersey with Mr. Woods on the back in front of thousands of fans and even more television viewers… I think I have to be the first one.

"I see," he said, his voice softer now. "Keely, you know you don't owe me anything, right? If you want to go out with Jaxson, you should."

He always tries to make everything easy on me, never letting me feel guilty for anything. Maybe that's Reeve Aisa's most toxic trait, making himself too damn easy to love.

"I know. But it's not just about owing you. I... I need to focus on this. On helping you get back on the ice. It's important to me."

There's another small pause and then he speaks.

"Thank you, Keely. That means a lot to me," his voice is warm this time. "I'll see you when I get home. Don't watch any episodes of that new docu-series without me."

I smile to myself.

At least after all this is over, maybe he and I can at least be friends.

I want to keep Reeve in my life because he's the best friend I've ever had.