17. Harrison

Arlo and I have gotten good at sneaking around the past couple of weeks. He’s got one reading left at a small children”s shop, and though he says he’s fine if I don’t go, and I know he means it, I want to be there. I’ve been to all of them so far and I don’t want to miss out on this last one. But it’s game day and the coaches have given strict instructions to stay in and rest before the festivities kick off around lunchtime at the field.

After last season’s introduction tour and the daily articles and posts online, we’ve become small celebrities in Savannah, and at the last two readings, we had a bunch of kids dressed in Banana Ball gear. True they were the OG team’s but it was still cool. If I get caught by the coaches out and about, I’m not sure what they’d do. Would they bench me for game one? We have other catchers, none as good as me, but if they want to make a point about us following the rules, they might.

It’s almost nine thirty, the reading is at ten, and it’s only a few blocks from the stadium, I can make it.

I throw my Animal Control outfit into a bag in the back and grab a plain black cap and shades. It should be enough to hide me. Real celebrities do this shit all the time, and it’s only about half the time they get spotted, right?

I get there just as Arlo is getting out of the cab. Both Gordon and I offered to at least drop him, but he insisted a cab was fine. I slink down in the truck as he stands on the sidewalk, watching the people walking into the small shop. His hands clench his original copy of his book against his front. It became sort of a superstition for him that reading from his first copy helped it go well. He had always said in the past, too, that having me there was what helped the most. That’s why I have to be here now. But maybe he wants to prove he can do it too. I know he can. I know he’s got this. He doesn’t need me there sitting like a big goofball with the kids, smiling up at him.

I’m being selfish showing up like this. I have to let him do this for himself. It’s what he wants. But I don’t want to miss it either. I’ll wait until he’s in, then sneak in the back.

Arlo takes a deep breath, his chest rising and falling slowly, and then he marches like he’s demanding each step forward into the shop.

I climb out of the truck and follow him inside, hunching over, keeping my head down and glasses on. I slide behind a few of the parents already crowded in the back. I’m still a good foot taller than most of them though, so I crouch a little more, leaning on the wall to not have all the strain on my knees. They’ll have enough work cut out for them today at the game.

Arlo is led to the chair at the front by what I’m assuming is the shop owner, and as he sits and glances across the children waiting, his smile is so small that it sends a pang through my chest. Come on, you got this. I try to project my confidence through the air to him, but it clearly isn’t working. The fingers of his casted hand are white as he grips the edge tightly, waiting as the owner introduces him. This is it. He can do this. It’s just like every other time. Except it’s not. I’m not there, or at least he can’t see me. And as his eyes settle on the back of the group of children, I know for sure that’s what he’s thinking, too.

He holds the book up in front of him, hands shaking, and reads the title, his voice shaky, unsure.

“Sorry, I’m a little nervous,” he says, and the crowd mostly smiles. One parent telling him it’s okay, as a way to try to reassure him. I want to jump up and tell him he is brilliant and he’s got this. I want to be sitting on the floor at the back of the children, smiling up at him as he reads the story that brought us together, but there are people with their phones out recording, and if I’m spotted, I’ll get in so much shit from the coaches. Plus, he told me he wanted to do this. If he wants to prove to himself he can do it, I shouldn’t take that away from him.

He tries to start the first page, and though he’s read the line probably a hundred times or more, he skips a word and muddles up the sentence before stuttering his way through it again. His cheeks are on fire, and he shakes his head, apologizing again as his glasses slip down his nose.

I look at the people with their phones out again, then back at Arlo. I can’t just stand here hiding in the back, pretending I’m not here. I am here. I am here for him, to support him. I might not be able to sit on the floor with the kids, but I can sure as hell let him know he’s not alone in this.

I take off the hat and sunglasses and stand tall behind the other parents. Like a magnet, his gaze is drawn right to me, and the relief that spreads across his face has my chest filling up like a balloon.

His eyes glass over a little like he wants to cry, but he holds it back, and when I smile and mouth, you’ve got this, he nods, takes a breath, and starts over.

He reintroduces the book, his voice clear, so much surer, like it has been every other time he’s read. At first, he’s reading to me, like always, but after the second page, he moves his attention to the kids, and it’s like it should be. Like I’m not even here. I slip the hat and shades back on and slink down a little, not so much that if he needs me he wouldn”t be able to spot me, but far enough that I don’t draw attention being the biggest guy in the small space. He sails through the rest of the reading, not even checking for me once, and when they invite the children up to get pictures and their copies signed, he smiles and nods my way, mouthing thank you, and I slip out.

Only as I am trying to get to my truck still incognito, I bump into someone.

“Sorry,” I say, trying not to meet their gaze and be recognized, but they grab my arm.

“Harry?”

Fuck, why is Gordon here?

“I thought that was you. What are you doing?”

“I wanted to, umm…catch the last reading. You know, as a…a good luck thing for today. I’ve been to all the other ones. I thought maybe if I didn’t come then it would jinx us, him, jinx him, or something,” I say, hopeful he believes my lie. He’s wearing a fishing hat over his bright red hair, and it hits me.

“Wait, why are you here?”

He releases his grip on me and links our arms, pulling me toward the parking lot across the way.

“I meant to go to one sooner, but with the business and training, I never got there. Dad would roll over in his grave if I missed them all,” he whispers. “This was the last one. I had to come.”

“Did Arlo know you were coming?” I ask, and he nods.

“I told him this morning I was going to come incognito. You know, avoid getting spotted out here and be in the shit with the coaches.”

“That’s why I’m like this,” I say, gesturing to my hat and shades.

He laughs. “Dude, I knew it was you from the back the second I saw you.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been checking out my ass for years.”

“Have not. I’m straight remember.”

“You keep telling yourself that. When was the last time you dated?”

“Actually, there is this woman from work.”

“From your business?”

“Yep.”

“Is that a good idea? You know, like isn”t it improper for a boss to date their employees or something?” I ask, reaching his car. He shakes his head.

“She’s a DJ. Actually, she’s one half of a DJ team, DJ Doublemix.”

“You know you can’t hire them again if you date her right?”

“Fuck off, I can use whoever I want in my bookings. I just have to make sure the client knows I’m dating the DJ and give them the choice to use someone else if they want.”

“Sounds like you have this all figured out. How serious is this?”

“We’ve been dating over a month now, so pretty serious.”

“A month? Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“It was new, and I wasn’t sure how serious I was about it all.”

“But now you are?”

“Yeah. I think I am. Her name’s Niki, and she’s, well…she’s amazing.”

His eyes light up in a way I haven’t seen in years.

“Nice, good on you,” I say, and he folds his arms across his chest and leans on his car.

“And how about you? How’s the no-app thing working out?”

I’m unable to stop the smile that spreads across my face.

“What’s that look for? Have you met someone the old-fashioned way?” My cheeks immediately warm, and he opens his mouth in shock.

“You have, haven’t you? Oh wow, okay, who is he? When do we get to meet him? Oooh, Arlo is going to be crushed,” he says, glancing back to the shop. “I’m sorry but you know how I warned you that Arlo gets himself all attached to people. Well, I think my little brother has developed a small crush on you.”

I force a smile that hopefully doesn”t give away anything. As much as I’m pretty fucking sure I am completely in love with his little brother, I don’t think the parking lot trying to hide from view is the right place to tell him. Besides, I haven’t said the L word to Arlo yet and if anyone should be hearing it first, it’s him.

“I’ll introduce you soon,” I say, instead.

“Wow, serious enough to bring them around us goofballs. I thought this was a phase you were going through, but the last few weeks you’ve really…”

“What?”

“I hate to say it but, grown up.”

I laugh and punch his arm.

“Dickhead, I’m older than you, remember.”

“Yeah, but you always acted like you were stuck in college, drinking, dating, flirting with everything with a dick.”

I can’t exactly argue with that. But I wanted more, and I forced myself to believe I deserved more, and then the universe brought me Arlo, and now I can’t ever picture my life without him in it. I can never go back to the guy I was before.

“Okay, how about the afterparty tonight?” he asks, and people start to come out of the reading and walk toward their cars. We can’t stay here, not if we don”t want to be spotted.

“What about tonight?”

“I’ve got DJ Doublemix lined up to work. We can do a double intro?”

“You want me to introduce my boyfriend to you tonight?”

“Wow, you used the B word, must really be serious. And yeah, at my place. If it is this serious, it would also be good for Arlo to see you with someone. It might help him get over this crush of his.”

Every time he says Arlo has a crush on me, my whole body wants to grab Gordon and shake him, but I won’t because I need him to approve of this, of Arlo and me, because I can’t lose my best friend, but I know I can’t lose Arlo either.

“Okay, I”ll see if he’s free,” I say, and then I walk away before I agree to do anything else.