Chapter Twelve

Why is New York so weird?>

Don't ask me. I'm Las Vegas born and bred. Only ever lived in Nevada.>

Why's that? You seem like someone who would call themself worldly wise.>

You can be worldly wise without traveling the world, Maeve.>

And you can travel the world and not be worldly wise at all.>

True story. Now tell me why New York is weird. Make me laugh. I could do with it today.>

So this old woman was on the subway doing a cross stitch. Not that unusual, right? But then I got a closer look at what she was making and it was a cross stitch of a very erect, very big penis.>

A dick?>

Yeah, with you know, stuff coming out of it. No word of a lie. She can't have been under 80 years old.>

80 years young, I'd say. Grandma is getting some.>

Grandma is living her best life, I guess.>

Maybe she has a MyFans. Bet she makes more money than me.>

Stop. I am still on the subway and already need to pee.>

Cross your legs and lean back.>

What?>

Just do it. Takes the pressure off your bladder.>

Shit. That worked.>

Where are you going?>

To my meeting with the agent.>

You nervous? Excited?>

A bit of everything. And sort of wondering why the hell I'm doing this. My agent isn't useless. She's helped me achieve a lot.>

Change is good for you. Your Gemini moon will thrive from a new energy in your life.>

FFS. Doesn't that apply to everyone?>

Not everyone can cope with change as well as I think you can.>

Well, if you're such an expert on the stars, answer me this. Why am I feeling so nervous about this meeting when it's them who needs to impress me?>

You're a Cancer sun. Remember what I said about how much Cancers care and how protective they can be? That also applies to yourself. You're just trying to protect yourself from something going wrong. But it won't go wrong. They want to meet you and you want to meet them.>

So, according to your astrology shit, how should I approach this meeting?>

Be honest. Be yourself. Set your boundaries and know that they are valid and important. And ask questions. Test their credibility. And when all is said and done, trust your gut.>

Is that a Cancer thing too?>

No, Maeve, that's a human thing. Nobody knows you better than you. And most importantly, afterward you should rest. Or do something that fills your cup.>

What do you do to rest and relax?>

The gym. Walking Prince, now. Meal-prepping for me, my mom and sister.>

They don't sound very relaxing. And isn't gym stuff how you got started in this industry anyway? Shouldn't you do something further away from work?>

Now who's dishing out the advice?>

What did you use to do as a kid, to relax?>

*****

Sorry to drop off like that. I had to take my sister to the hospital earlier.>

Shit. Is she okay?>

Not really. She picked up a new infection so is on antibiotics and resting, but she was pretty sick. Her lung function dropped below 46%.>

That sounds bad.>

It is. When it drops below 40 and stays there, that's when doctors want to start talking about a transplant.>

Lung transplant?>

Yeah.>

That's massive. How does she feel about that?>

Right now she's too exhausted to really think or talk about it but in the past she's said that if that's the way it has to be she'll do it. But I know she's scared. And it's weird thinking about somebody dying in order to save you.>

But that's not how it actually goes, you know, right? It's fucked up, sure, but it's not like they die just for your sister to live.>

I know but it's still hard for her, I think.>

My brother's boyfriend died when he was twenty-two. He had leukaemia. There was nothing he wanted more than to be an organ donor, but it wasn't allowed because of the cancer. Maybe tell her that to put her mind at peace.>

I will. Thanks, Maeve. I'm sorry about your brother's boyfriend.>

Thanks. It was rough for a while but my bro is doing great now. Has a girlfriend we all love and she's pregnant with their first baby.>

That's awesome. Congratulations!>

Ta. Is Jessica still in the hospital?>

No, back at home, but still on an IV. We do them here all the time and my mom's a trained nurse midwife so we like to do as much of her care as possible at home. To avoid infection, as well as it's just nicer for her to be here.>

With Prince.>

Yeah, Prince is curled up on her bed.>

Dogs. We don't deserve them.>

How did your meeting go with the agent?>

Good, I think. They were certainly very queer and seemed to know their shit about asexuality and the lived experience of someone on the ace spectrum. One of the people I met with labelled themself as asexual.>

That's good. Did you ask the questions you wanted to? Explain your boundaries?>

Yeah, kind of. But I didn't really have to. They just knew I didn't want to do sex-related stuff or take my clothes off.>

Good.>

Yeah, I know.>

You don't seem sure?>

I'm just wondering if I'm shooting myself in the foot. I'm not saying I want to be a Victoria's Secret's angel or anything, but what if one day, I want to work with a swimwear brand or something?>

You can always change your mind. I think it's good you're doing the SAFE campaign first.>

Yeah, I think so too. I think the world needs to see more asexuals modelling underwear and for it to be done in a not-at-all sexual way.>

I agree. What are you up to now? It must be getting late there?>

Yeah, I just had dinner with a friend. Well, not really a friend. More an acquaintance. Another influencer, you know.>

Do you have many friends in the industry?>

Yeah, some.>

Why do I feel like there's a ‘but' coming?>

Well, honestly, no. I've been burnt a few times. Social climbers treading on toes. People being fake, and I'm not just talking about their tits or lips. Influencers not tagging their paid partnerships and brand collabs – I just hate that! Others just shit-talking me behind my back, forgetting that screenshots are a thing. I'm happy to work with other people and do collaborations that are mutually beneficial but I'm not on the lookout for new friends. I have good people in my life away from the Internet.>

Like Arabella.>

Yeah, and my family. They all live in Dublin. We're close.>

I'm close to my family too. It's important.>

It helps when they're not total wankers. At least not all the time. Hey, did you think about a non-work-related hobby yet?>

Did you?>

I'm currently stuck in New York on a work trip. I didn't exactly pack a jigsaw puzzle.>

But what would you do if you could?>

You first.>

Painting. The night sky. That's what I used to do for relaxation.>

But isn't that just… black?>

Not in Nevada out in the desert. And not if you look for long enough, hard enough.>

But you don't do that anymore?>

I haven't for a year or so, no.>

Why?>

Your turn, Maeve. What would you do right now, if you could?>

Dance.>

You can do that on TikTok anytime. I saw a few of your old ones dancing. You've got good rhythm.>

For a white girl?>

I didn't say that!>

I used to have dance lessons. Even did some amateur shows. Arabella and I did them together. She dances professionally now.>

But you stopped. Why?>

Life. Work. Other stuff.>

What's your favorite kind of dance?>

Ballet.>

I can see that. You should try again.>

Can't. Threw away my pointes and none of my gear would fit me now. And it would be embarrassing going to lessons now after all this time.>

Who says you need lessons? Sounds like you did it for long enough to know what you're doing. Why not just dance?>

My Uber is nearly at my hotel. Better go.>

Okay, Maeve. Have sweet dreams. x>

*****

That photo you just shared is off the charts.>

Yeah, nice lighting, right? And the location was perfect. I got lucky with the photographer and the weather too. Can't wait to see the rest of the shoot.>

Yeah, but also you, Maeve. You look incredible.>

Like I said. Good lighting. And I found a brand to do my make-up last minute.>

Okay Little Miss Accepts No Compliments.>

Whatever. How's Jessica?>

Yeah, better. We just went for a short walk together actually.>

Nice. What are you up to today? Fucking until the sun goes down?>

Haha. Not today actually. Today is editing day.>

Of a… fuck?>

A scene. Yeah.>

How often do you… fuck?>

For work?>

Do you fuck… otherwise?>

Honestly, not much these days. I'm a bit too busy for personal relationships.>

I hear ya.>

But for work, I do one or two scenes a week, but half the time they're solo performances.>

Wanking?>

Yes, Maeve.>

And people like that?>

For some people it's their favorite.>

Okay.>

I mean, good for them.>

I guess.>

We don't have to talk about this if it makes you uncomfortable.>

I asked the questions.>

Yes, but it's still okay to stop now.>

I'm curious, you know. I don't really know what you do all day.>

Well, I don't fuck all day, if that's what you're wondering. Even I have my limits.>

And who do you fuck for work? Like strangers?>

No, other sex workers. Friends, mostly.>

Friends?! You fuck your friends?>

You really don't watch my content, do you?>

I do not.>

Well, I have an ongoing series with two other content creators, Miko and Harley. They used to be my partners, actually. And although I'm not involved with them romantically anymore, we still fuck. Viewers send in their requests for us and we pick some of them and act them out.>

Like what? What do you act out?>

Certain scenarios. Like Harley is cheating on Miko with me and I'm a contractor come to fix a broken faucet or something. Or I'm Miko's personal trainer and Harley walks in and sees us… doing stuff.>

That is so fucking cheesy. People really like that?>

Lap it up. And other times, they want us to do specific things with each other.>

Like what?>

You want details? Specifics?>

I'm asexual, not a child.>

Just checking. Well, the last scene we filmed together, it was for a request we've had a lot over the years. For Miko and I to get fucked by Harley.>

With a strap?>

Woah, Maeve. You know about straps?>

Arabella is pan and into pegging in a big way.>

Good for Arabella. But actually, not with a strap. Harley is trans and she doesn't need any attachments.>

And you're really just friends with these people? Even after being in a relationship with them?>

Yes, I really am just friends with them. I'm aro, remember, so I don't really feel romantic attraction to people and it was while I was with Harley and Miko that I realized this.>

You don't feel romantic attraction, but definitely sexual attraction?>

Yes, definitely sexual attraction. And sensual and physical attraction too. I think the human body is the most beautiful living thing on this planet.>

I mean, I find the body beautiful too. I just don't want to… you know.>

Fuck it.>

Yeah. That.>

That's okay, Maeve. That's normal. That's human too.>

Not everybody thinks that.>

I know. There are a lot of confusing messages about sex in our world, and sadly compulsory sexuality is one of them.

You know about that?>

Again, I read, Maeve.>

Do you find people react weirdly to you being aromantic?>

Sometimes. But I don't really meet a lot of new people these days and most of the people I do know, well, after I came out as non-binary and then poly, I guess coming out as aromantic seemed like an afterthought or irrelevant, which is kind of sad in a way.>

Do you get grief for those things too? Being non-binary and poly?>

Not as much as I used to. I mean, I'm still very masculine presenting to the world so apart from constant pronoun fuck-ups from people I've just met, I don't get much kickback. Harley and Miko, who are both trans, they get a lot more hassle and so many more hate messages. They're sick. Sick and twisted. But I get the usual shit. Racist comments and DMs. People telling me I'm queerbaiting.>

People must be so full of hate to send messages like that. I obviously can't relate to what it's like to get racist messages, but for me that's the hardest part of receiving shitty comments and messages. It makes you realise how sad and full of pain some people really are.>

That's very generous of you to look at it that way.>

Well, looking at it any other way just fucks with my head too much. I don't like thinking about how much humans can be utter pricks.>

Not all humans. I still believe there are more good people than bad out in the world.>

So you have good followers too? They're not all racist, queerphobic creeps?>

Are you kidding? No way. Some of my fans have hearts of gold.>

Horny hearts of gold.>

Yes, I guess, but let's not shame people for their desires and kinks.>

Fair point.>

Listen, I've got to take my sister to a physio appointment, but here's a wild idea. When do you go back to Ireland?>

I fly out tomorrow night.>

Would it be okay if I called you before you left? If you have time?>

Why would you do that?>

I don't know, because I like talking to you, but all this texting is giving me carpal tunnel.>

I dunno. I may have time tomorrow. I've got a late check-out but will be free from around four in the afternoon.>

That's my lunchtime. It's perfect.>

Well, I was going to go shopping. I want to get some stuff for my brother's new baby.>

Okay, no worries, forget it.>

I'll call you if I don't go shopping.>

Cool.>

But I seriously probably will go shopping.>

That's fine, Maeve. No big deal.>