27. Dex

27

DEX

I'm looking down at my cell and texting Austin that we're at Shenanigans when I smack right into someone. My fault because the bar is full and I'm not looking where I'm going.

"Sorry about th—holy shit, Austin! I was just texting you."

"Ow," he says, rubbing his shoulder. "I was just texting you ."

"You two are a pair." Kael grins. "I'll meet you near the karaoke stage."

Austin groans, but not from the bump on his shoulder. Likely it's because Kael talked him into showing up at Shenanigans and watching karaoke. Doubtful he'd ever participate.

But something seems different about him—outside of him staring at me like he's seeing me for the first time.

"You look good," I tell him because it's true. His hair and tall stature have always been striking to me, but tonight, there's a glow to him, his cheeks rosier than usual.

"Oh, I…you… thanks ."

I grip his shoulder. "You all right?"

"Sure! I had an edible before we came."

I huff out a laugh. "Oh, that makes sense."

"What does?" And now I notice the glossy eyes too.

"The stuttering," I point out.

He hitches a shoulder. "It's just what happens when I see a hot guy."

"Who is it?" I swing my gaze wide. "Brandon?"

"No, silly." He giggles self-consciously. "It's you."

My face warms. "You should take edibles more often."

"Maybe I will…or maybe I just feel more confident, thanks to you."

"Well, in that case…" I grab his hand and pull him along with me. "Let's get on that karaoke list."

"No fucking way." He drops my hand. "I'm not that confident."

As we approach Kael, Angelica, and her friends, I motion toward the mic stand and machine. "I'll sign up anyway, and if you choose not to do it, that's cool too."

That accomplished, we watch some of the other FU students at the mic, some of whom sound like nails on a chalkboard. But you can't help laughing along with them.

"See, it's not so bad."

"It's totally bad," he quips.

"At least they're having fun."

He sighs happily. "True."

When Kael and Angelica step up to the mic, we cheer loudly and then sing along to the refrain of the bubbly pop song.

Toward the end, I nudge him. "Okay, we're next."

Austin sobers. "I…I can't. I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself."

"At least we'd be doing it together," I tease, knowing he likely won't budge. "It's okay. I got this."

I clear my throat when I get up to the mic on the makeshift stage. Austin loves romantic ballads, so I'd already decided we'd sing along to one of his favorites from Adele, knowing neither of us would be able to get the notes right.

His eyes light up, hearing the beginning chords, but as soon as I belt out the first note, he cringes. "I obviously suck," I say, then keep going, more to get him laughing than anything else.

When it seems he can't take it anymore, he joins me at the mic, and I know the only reason he's done so is either from the edible or to save me. Austin's voice is nicer than mine, so I let him take the lead. Still, we stumble through it, laughing ourselves silly.

And though we're pretty cringe, it feels so good to let loose with him.

We can hear our friends clapping for us as the song finishes, and we take a bow.

"Oh my God!" Austin's cheeks are flaming red. "Why did you choose that song?"

"Because you love ballads that tell a story, you jackass."

"True, but no one can sing like her." He clutches his throat. "Damn, I need some water. Want some?"

"Sure."

I follow him toward the bar but get sidetracked when I run into a friend from class who asks me a question about our upcoming group assignment.

I wave goodbye, wish him a good night, and go looking for Austin. When I spot him at the crowded bar, I realize he's involved in a conversation with the cute guy standing in front of him. I have no idea if they already know each other, but given how he bashfully averts his eyes, I'm guessing not.

I'm not sure whether to retreat or approach, but my curiosity gets the best of me.

"You have amazing hair," I hear the guy say as I get closer, and I nearly choke on my own saliva.

"Th…you…thank you." Austin stumbles but quickly recovers, and it occurs to me that he's getting better at random cute-guy conversations.

"Can I buy you a drink?" the guy asks, and I hold my breath, my stomach performing somersaults.

"Oh, I…" He turns to the bar and lifts two plastic cups. "I just got a water, and I have one here for my friend."

I nearly step up to save him, but it's not with good intentions, so I stay back.

"Do you go to FU?" the guy asks.

"Yeah. How about you?"

"I do, but I commute. I'm here tonight with a group of friends."

"Cool." Austin's fingers are shaky as he takes a sip of water, likely for something to do with his hands.

"So, um, would you want to hang out sometime?" the guy asks just as someone bumps into me, and I stumble forward, slamming into Austin's back.

"Shit, sorry," I mutter, mortified. Somehow, Austin manages to stay upright with our waters intact. "I'll take mine now."

"Oh, my bad," the guy says. "Are you here with someone?"

"No," I spit out. "We're best friends."

The guy's shoulders unwind. "Oh, okay, cool."

Austin stares at me wide-eyed, and I can't tell if he's thrilled or freaked.

Shit, did I throw him to the wolves again?

But isn't this what he's wanted? To not be invisible to hot guys?

"So, um…I gotta get back to my friends, but you never answered my question about hanging out sometime?"

"Oh, sure. That would be…uh, um, cool."

The guy smiles. "My name's Toby. Should we exchange numbers?"

Suddenly, I feel weak and sweaty. I need some space, so I turn and head to the restroom, which is thankfully cooler and empty. I glance at my clammy upper lip, wondering what in the hell is wrong with me.

When I come back out, Austin is with Kael near the karaoke stage.

"Did you hear?" Kael says excitedly. "Austin gave someone his number!"

"I did hear." I pat Austin's shoulder halfheartedly. "It's what you wanted…what we wanted for you."

So then, why do I feel so crummy?

I feel Kael watching me, so I force a smile. "Toby seemed nice."

"Yeah, he was," Austin says with wary eyes. Or maybe he's still a bit loopy from the edible. I should be thankful Austin didn't decide to leave with Toby in that condition, but I also know he never would. Hookups aren't his thing. But even if he changed his mind, he's an adult and can make his own decisions. Christ, I sound like his parent or something.

"Cute too," I throw out.

Austin nods. "Definitely cute."

"He seemed into you…and I didn't hear you get too tongue-tied."

"I suppose I didn't…" His eyes spring to mine. "That's good, huh?"

"Yep." I down my water because my throat is suddenly dry.

"Guess that means your fake dating worked," Kael points out.

Austin looks down and scratches the back of his neck. "Probably."

Kael playfully grips Austin's shoulder. "Suppose you don't need any more lessons from Dex. You did awesome on your own!"

I hold my breath as Austin throws me a cursory glance. "I guess not."

Angelica and her friends start belting out the refrain of that corny "Sweet Caroline" song, and Kael joins them. Austin and I stand awkwardly watching, side by side.

I feel queasy and hot and want nothing more than to get out of there.

"I think I'm gonna find Ian and the guys, then head out."

"O…kay."

I don't look at Austin. I can't right then, so I just wave my goodbyes and head toward the booth where I last left my housemates. I let them know my plans, then take off despite their objections and offers of appetizers from the table.

Instead of heading back to Poli House, I decide on the beach.

As soon as my feet hit the sand, I feel someone behind me and turn to find Austin.

"What are you…? Did you follow me?"

He bites his lip. "I was concerned."

"Why?"

"Because you seemed upset."

I feel a thread of that same frustration. "Upset about what?"

"I don't know!" He throws up his hands. "That's why I followed you."

"I'm not upset." I cover my lie with a cough. "Just enjoying the salty sea air."

"Can I enjoy it with you?" he asks tentatively.

My chest feels achy and raw. "Of course."

We start walking along the shore in virtual silence, and I'm okay with that because my head is a mess. I need to figure out why it bothers me so much that Austin gave some guy his number when that was our goal all along. Yes, we've had hot, intimate moments, but we never pretended they meant anything other than Austin getting more experience.

When I feel his fingers tangle with mine, my pulse spikes, but I don't resist. I welcome it. Fuck, I need it right then like I need my next breath. We hold hands and walk for a good while.

On our way back, Austin asks, "Was there something about Toby that bothered you? Like red flags or?—"

"No, and that's not for me to decide." I steal a glance at him. "This is your opportunity to go out with a cute guy, and I don't want to take that away from you. You deserve it."

He dips his head. "Thanks."

I try to put myself in his shoes and consider how he's feeling. "Are you nervous about it?"

"Maybe a little." He tugs on my hand. "But mostly that you're going to feel awkward and pull away from me."

"Never." Right then, I decide I need to suck it up and get over myself. "I want you to go for it."