15. Dex

15

DEX

I keep zoning out in my Community Politics class. To be fair, we're watching a video on trash collection in a small town and how to solve their litter problem. Not a popcorn-worthy film, so maybe I'll just ask Craig, sitting a row behind me, to see his notes later. Instead, I'm mindlessly doodling and considering where Austin and I could go on our second pretend date. There's a world of possibilities in San Luco in February.

Since the bonfire, this whole idea has grown on me even more, mostly because it's nice to see Austin happy. The plan's obviously not perfect—I'm certainly not someone he wants to date—but it's the thought behind it that matters.

Plus, it's fun playing at being new acquaintances because it's showing me sides of Austin I haven't seen before. Or maybe I forgot about. His sweetness and innocence got to me to such an extent that I had to keep from kissing him for real at the end of the night. It felt so perfect that I lost myself in the moment. And that's a bit concerning, but I'm also human, and in any case, I plan on working harder not to mess this up.

Besides, if the dates help him grow more confident, then I'm all for it.

Class is finally over, and I catch up to Craig as I head out of the building and make sure I got all the key points from the lecture. When he tells me there's going to be a group project, I'm glad I asked. "Thanks for the heads-up. Catch you later."

I spy the coffee cart, but Austin isn't working his shift yet. Instead, I see him sitting on a nearby bench, doing what else? Reading. That guy can read any place, any time, and knowing him, he got there early to do just that. There's something to be said for a person who really enjoys the little things, like a book on a nice, sunny day.

"There's my future second date." Austin's shoulders stiffen briefly as I plop down beside him. "I figured out what's next on our agenda."

"Hello to you too," he quips. "What?"

"I think we should go to the color-coded mixer."

Wariness crosses his features. "The one Jason mentioned?"

"Yeah, why not? It'll be fun." Besides, he might feel more comfortable there, considering the company. It certainly seemed to work at the bonfire.

"As fun as getting a filling at the dentist?"

I snort. "You're being dramatic. Do you have reservations because of the color-coded thing?"

He frowns. "Sort of?"

"So we won't participate. Or we will, and it'll end up being fun."

Austin twiddles his thumbs, something he does when he's nervous. "Yeah, I suppose."

I tap his knee. "Hey, it doesn't mean you have to know stuff about yourself. I'm still discovering my preferences too. Most college students are. It's just for fun."

He stands abruptly. "Oh, look, it's time for my shift."

"Way to avoid the topic," I say as he grabs his bag. "If you don't wanna go, then choose something else. I'll still pick you up at your dorm."

"Not if I pick you up first," he lobs over his shoulder.

"Oooh, it's a date."

I smile as he walks to the cart, exchanging pleasantries with the girl on shift before him. I stay seated on the bench and pull out my notebook from class. I check the syllabus and see that there is indeed a group assignment to go with the video today. I glance over the assignment instructions as I absently listen to Austin taking students' orders and filling them. I hear him joke around with Luna and smile to myself.

"Your order the s-same…is it?" I hear him stutter, and my head snaps up.

Brandon is standing at the counter, and my stomach immediately tightens in sympathy, or maybe frustration. I wish Austin could just blow him off. That obviously wouldn't work well for a customer-service job, but it would help his nervous tic around attractive dudes if he could act more aloof and unbothered.

I know, easier said than done, which is how we got into this situation in the first place.

"Uh, yeah, my order is the same as always."

Brandon seems annoyed, and I have the urge to defend Austin. But I also know he would be pissed if I got involved for no good reason other than a grumbly customer.

Instead, I study the guy and wonder what Austin sees in him. Sure, he's tall, has good hair and nice lips, but he doesn't seem to have much personality. Doesn't that matter too? Says the guy who only does hookups and is all about attraction and getting off with someone for a night. But that's not Austin, so I want better for him.

When Austin fumbles the coffee cup and it spills over the side of the cart, I hop up from my seat, ready to help.

He throws me a warning look before apologizing profusely. "D-damn it, I'm s-sorry. A new one. I'll get you a new one."

It's so unlike Austin to drop or make a mess of things. He might fumble his words, but that doesn't bleed into his very coordinated life. I'm always the messy one next to him.

Austin avoids eye contact as he pours Brandon a new drink and hands it off.

When Brandon mumbles a thanks and walks away, Austin gets busy cleaning the counter with a rag. His breathing is labored, his cheeks pink, and I can see how flustered he is.

After he serves the next customer, I step up to the cart. "Everything cool?"

"Besides the fact that I made a fool of myself?"

"It was an accident. It happens."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Don't you have a student government meeting?"

I smile because he knows my schedule better than me, but he doesn't return the gesture. "I'll text you later."

"Sounds good." He remains solemn as I collect my things and walk away. Knowing Austin, he'll bounce back soon enough. I hope.

The meeting ends up being an animated one due to a student complaint regarding the university not having enough gender-neutral restrooms, something they instituted in only one public space as well as the newer dorms. Apparently, that's all they had in the budget. I immediately think of Kael and how he might feel about this issue. No doubt, the use of public spaces is an area of concern for him too, as well as all trans and nonbinary students, even if the other side of the argument is that the funding could be used to improve other areas on campus.

"What if we hold a public session where students are able to share their views?" I'll make a point of inviting Kael. "It might help them find a middle ground."

"Good idea," Ian says.

After the meeting, I head back to the house. Tonight is taco night, and we all chip in to order takeout from the stand on the pier. I consider inviting Austin, but he'll see right through me and call me on feeling sorry for him.

The truth is, I miss having him around for stuff like this. Things are different now, in more ways than one, and it's really important to me to maintain that connection.

"Did you hear about the new bill being introduced in our state's legislature?" Ian asks. It's regarding the houseless population, and a heated debate ensues around the table. I imagine this is how it will be when I'm a real politician, so I partake willingly.

When Carson raises his voice to get his point across, I imagine Austin putting in earbuds and opening one of his books to tune us out. Warmth floods my stomach.

Later that night, after playing Call of Duty with Craig, I head upstairs.

Milo is sacked out already after eating some edibles. They seem to make him sleepy more than anything, but what do I know?

I strip out of my clothes, cut the light, and crawl into bed.

I smile when I glance at my cell and see a text from Austin.

The mixer sounds like a good idea. And I was serious about picking you up this time.

I can almost hear the consolation in his message after what happened with Brandon at the coffee cart.

Looking forward to it. I stare at the ceiling for a minute, then add, So tell me about your family. I hear they might be loaded.

Looking for a sugar daddy, are you?

I huff out a laugh, then clamp my hand over my mouth so I don't wake Milo.

What if I am?

I suppose I can live with that…as long as you've got a nice schlong.

Schlong? How 70s porn industry of you. I'm grinning so hard my teeth hurt. Wait a minute, does this mean you might be a bottom? I mean, Dildo Baggins might've given it away, but I don't want to make assumptions.

Oh, look at the time. I need my beauty sleep. Night.

I shake my head, more than curious now about his preferences and fantasies. After all, he did buy a dildo after I moved out. Even so, he's a tough nut to crack, whereas I'm an open book. But maybe that's why our friendship works.

You dickhead. Night.