11. Dex

11

DEX

Even though we're only goofing around, I'm looking forward to my second round of questions for Austin on Wednesday night. If only I can see his expression when he realizes I plan to continue for two more nights until our actual date.

If Austin is annoyed, he certainly didn't act it in the dining hall earlier. But we'd been with a table full of friends, and he might be mortified if they find out what we're doing. Instead, we shared a silly, secret smile upon seeing each other, which only makes me more determined to treat this experience like it's real—for Austin's sake.

I pad into my room, trying not to disturb Milo, who's watching a video on his phone. Once I change out of my clothes and slide beneath my covers, I scroll through my cell to Austin's number.

Where did you grow up? is my next question. I planned some of them, but mostly I'm winging it, which isn't hard when it comes to Austin.

I smirk when I read his reply. What are we doing, Dex?

I'm trying to get to know you before our first date. I have no idea why I'm smiling except that it's Austin, and if I know him, he's secretly freaking out over the texts and his responses as if our date is for real. He used to get overly serious watching game shows with his mom as if he was going to be the contestant to win thousands of dollars by answering correctly. I quickly add: Unless you're only looking for a hookup?

My stomach feels funny as I wonder whether he'll ignore my question just to irritate me or if he's overthinking his response.

I'm not one to hook up…though, never say never. I like to get to know someone first.

Never say never? I have a feeling he's messing with me. He doesn't have a lot of experience with guys, but I also know how anxious he is to get moving on that front. So maybe he would hook up if the right situation presented itself. I get this strange sensation in my gut telling me we need to step up these practice dates.

Are you looking for a relationship?

I adjust myself against my pillows and wait.

I'm interested in dating someone, and if it leads to a meaningful relationship, that's cool. But I know how rare that can be, so I'm just hoping for good conversation and making some sort of connection.

I frown, my thumbs immediately typing: What makes you think it's rare?

I mean, I obviously know it is. The only couple I can think of who've been together for a long while and are still going strong are Austin's mom and stepdad. Which is why his answer surprises me. He's had such good relationship role models in them. Or is that part of the problem? Maybe he feels he can't live up to what they have or what he reads in his romance novels.

Well, in my case, I'm shit at all this. I might want it, but I don't have the confidence to follow through.

I feel a spikey twinge. I'm glad you followed through with me.

Yeah, me too.

I stare far too long at that response, wondering why I'm so happy he finally admitted in his own way that he's enjoying these conversations. Go, me, for thinking of the idea. But it's time to get back on track.

What got you interested in library science?

I've been a lifelong reader of all sorts of books , he replies, and I consider saying that he's currently going through his romance phase, but I'm not supposed to know that. Plus, I'm a pretty organized person, a word nerd, and I think authors are rock stars, so I thought it was a good fit.

That's lit. I'm more of a movies and games guy myself, but you can nerd out on me anytime.

It's true I never read much of anything in book form but put a policy proposal in front of me, and I'll stay up all night to finish it.

Your interests are a bit nerdy too.

True. So what can you do with a library science degree?

I already know the answer, so I nod to myself when he replies: I hope to be a librarian somewhere, obvs.

Would you stay in this area?

My pulse throbs. It's not really something we've discussed, so I'm curious.

That would be ideal. How about you?

Same. I like California too much to leave.

We both love the area, the beach, and the weather, so I already figured it would be a no-brainer for both of us.

I didn't actually mean leave California.

What if it's someplace farther north, I ask, like San Francisco or San Jose?

I suppose I'd have to consider it. But it would be a hard decision.

My next inquiry comes way too easy, but bearing in mind what a romantic Austin is, it has to be asked.

How about if it's for love? Like this guy comes along, sweeps you off your feet, and asks you to go live with him in San Francisco?

My palms are suddenly sweaty.

I mean, that's not gonna happen, but I'll play along…

I hold my breath as he types the rest of his response.

It would be hard to leave my parents and best friend. But hey, maybe my bestie would want to come along?

I quirk a small smile. Depends. Would he live with you?

Sure, why not? He adds a laughing emoji.

Now I'm grinning. Oh, I'm sure that'll go over well.

Maybe it'll be one of my requirements. Best friend must live with us.

LOL! And what if the best friend meets someone too?

This is a totally not serious conversation, so why does it feel like one? I've already sworn off relationships, and it's unlikely Austin would move away from this area, but still, I'm waiting on tenterhooks for his answers, which are so unexpected—in a good way.

Then we all share a house!

I grin like a madman, maybe because it gives me hope that we'll be lifelong friends no matter what happens on our upcoming date night. At least I hope so.

But my thoughts turn bleak on a dime like they tend to do anytime I think of romance or relationships.

And what if the two boyfriends cheat on the best friends with each other? I hit Send before I can think better of it.

Aren't you a Debbie Downer? he replies, and he's right.

Yeah, I know. Sorry.

I want to kick myself for ruining the good vibe.

Then I guess it's good to know that the best friends will always have each other.

My smile and my good mood return. They will, won't they?

Obviously. He waits for a beat before adding, Getting tired. Night.

Night.

I stare at the ceiling, imagining living in a real house or apartment with Austin and not a dorm. Just the two of us. And it brings me a kind of peace I didn't even know I needed.