0 - Isaiah Aurora

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Isaiah Aurora

L ove was so simple before I grew up.

Back then, it was rainbows and butterflies. It was freefalling without a care in the world of the consequences, of the risks. Back then, love was like a million shooting stars. They burned bright and left their mark in the sky. They were innocent—wishes fulfilled and dreams realized. Back then, love was a ball of sunshine that was never going to burn out.

Loving Isaiah when I was younger was as ingrained in me as breathing.

When we were kids, young and infatuated with the mere existence of one another, we made a million promises. Sealed with the promise of each other's hearts and souls and a kiss on a pinky promise, we swore would never be apart. That this, that we, would always be in each other's lives. No matter what.

We weren't just Isaiah and Aurora, two separate beings, we were IsaiahAurora. Hand in hand, never separated. Not as kids, not as teenagers, and certainly not as adults. Where one went, the other went. We would never not be.

But I guess…

Plans change.

Now, stuck with only the remnants of love, I wondered how I ever could have been so stupid. So na?ve. And I wondered if the pain was ever going to stop. Our love came and went like dandelions in the spring. There and then gone, in the blink of an eye.

Was my heart ever going to feel like my own again? Or would it always feel like a piece of it was his to keep? Were the memories ever going to fade into a foggy oblivion? Or was I destined to keep living them, to keep replaying them over and over and over again? No one told me love didn't end just because you thought that it should.

Love was a tough little bitch. And she had claws. They were stuck, embedded in every facet of who I was. I couldn't breathe without tearing the wound right back open. And I couldn't pry her off. Love didn't care about the tears I shed or the pleas that left my lips for it to disappear. I wanted it to disappear. I wanted to be free.

But I wasn't. I wasn't free. I wasn't over it. I was stuck in limbo. In the haze of a love lost. Stuck in a maze with no way out, constantly wondering if this was how I was always going to feel.

Love was so simple when I was a kid. Now, love was a painful reminder of all the promises we broke. And every year that passed was a reminder that we failed.

That our love failed.