Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven

Awakening

ZACH

The light is fading fast. The last time I hiked out this far, I had a much earlier start. On that day, the campground sign was plain to see. But thus far, we’ve found nothing. We come to a trail crossroads. No campground sign, but I’d swear this is the turnoff.

“I think this is it.” I peer down the trail in the twilight.

“You think it is?”

“It looks very familiar.”

Aiden sighs. “Well, let’s go. But if we don’t find it in the next fifteen minutes, we should find someplace to set up camp in the woods. I’m worried we’ll be doing it in pitch black.”

“Hey, I got this.”

Aiden sends me a side-eye. “Um-hmm.”

“Don’t worry so much. You’re as bad as my boyfriend.” I keep leaving out the fact that Felix is my ex-boyfriend, and I’m not exactly sure why. Guess it sounds better. Has more impact. Maybe to make Aiden jealous.

We turn down the trail and continue for a while, with the forest getting darker by the minute.

“Look over there,” Aiden says in a hushed tone.

“Where?”

“There. Up the hill.” He points to our right. A small cabin peaks over the trees. It’s a traditional log cabin style, with a round log exterior, a green metal roof, and a chimney on one side.

“Let’s go check it out,” Aiden says.

“You think that’s a good idea?”

“I’ve never let a bad idea stop me before.”

“What if somebody’s in there?” I chew on the side of my lip.

“That’s why we’re checking it out, all quiet like. Now who’s the worrier?”

“Touché.”

As we approach the cabin, all looks quiet. No light comes from the windows, and a half-inch thick layer of dust and dirt covers the porch. Nobody’s been here in a while. Despite that, it looks to be in excellent shape. The timbers are well-treated, and all the windows are intact. Not your typical run-down hunting shack. Whoever built this cabin knew what they were doing.

Before we get closer, we do a full orbit around it. In the back, a large propane tank is bolted to a cement slab. I lean over to check the gauge.

“It’s half full!”

“That, more than anything, tells me this place is abandoned.” Aiden cranes his neck around. “And remote enough that nobody has stolen the fuel. Should be safe to spend the night.”

“Ifwe can get in.”

“Oh, we’ll get in, alright.” Aiden smirks.

We check the doors and windows, and of course, they’re all locked. Aiden is about to smash a window with the butt of his rifle when I spot a conspicuous-looking rock resting against the foundation.

“Hang on a sec.” I grab the rock. “It’s fake. And there’s a key in it.”

“Good eye, Zach.”

Opening the door, we’re hit with a blast of stale air. But it’s not the sickening scent of decay I’ve encountered during most of my looting.

It’s a simple cabin. One big room serves as a living and dining area and kitchen. A small hallway leads to a single bedroom and bathroom.

The main room has a typical rustic cabin aesthetic with woven tapestries and shelves filled with knick-knacks covering the walls. Cast-iron pots hang above a stone fireplace, and an old, worn couch and loveseat sit in front of it. A basic kitchen with butcher block countertops holds a wooden dining table and chairs, a gas stove, and a sink. But there’s no refrigerator, and I don’t see any lamps around. So it isn’t wired for electricity.

I turn on one of the stove burners. There’s a sound of gas escaping, and the smell of propane floods my nose. I press a small red button on the stove, which creates a spark, lighting it up. “Stove works.”

Aiden nods as he heads to the sink and turns on the faucet. A strong jet of water comes shooting out. “Huh, artesian well. Natural water pressure.”

“Nice.”

“But only cold.”

“Challenge accepted.” I smile, taking out a small bag of tools from my backpack. “There must be a hot water tank around here somewhere. I’ll see if I can get it fired up. You get things situated out here.”

“You had me at ‘hot water,’ Zach. If you can get me a warm shower, I’ll give you a big fat kiss.” He grins playfully.

My cheeks go hot, no doubt turning various shades of red. But I’m not going to just wilt under his teasing. “Careful what you promise,” I shoot back.

I leave the room without looking at him, trying to act cool. But that little flirt was enough to send warmth radiating throughout my body.

It doesn’t take long to find the tank in a small utility closet in the bathroom. Like the stove, it has a manual pilot light. I turn the starter knob, which makes a clicking sound. But still no flame. There’s some corrosion on the electrode. With a long, flathead screwdriver from my box of tools, I give it a couple of scrapes. This time, the flame lights and the room fills with the roaring sound of the tank springing to life. I get goosebumps thinking about taking a hot shower. It means getting cleaned up is finally possible.

I strut back into the main room, looking triumphant.

“Ha! I got it working.” I beam. “Once it’s hot, I’m gonna hop in the shower. You can go next, so you’ll owe me that kiss.”

“I haven’t forgotten.” Aiden shoots me a smile. “And if I get a hot shower outta the deal, it’ll be worth it.”

Man. Aiden is so flirty. But these days, people are much more comfortable with their sexuality, right? Who knows if he’s into guys. Either way, it’s driving me nuts. I’m going to flat-out ask him tonight.

I head back to the bathroom with a small kit of toiletries and a fresh change of clothes. While waiting for the water to heat up, I go to town on my beard and matted hair with travel-size scissors. A year’s worth of growth and grime falls into the sink in big ugly clumps. My eyes are visible for the first time in forever.

The water is lukewarm and could stand some more time. But I can’t wait any longer, so I strip off my clothes and jump into the shower.

The warm water cascading over my body is like a dream. I scrub every square inch, watching the blackened water cascade down and swirl into the drain. The whole thing is emotional for me. Letting my personal appearance go like this reflected my mental state. I’d lost the will to care. And now I have something to care about again.

It takes several rounds of suds and scrubbing to remove all the dirt layers. And it’s not always a pleasant experience. Some of my skin has dried out and cracked from neglect, and the soap stings. But I get through it. My skin has gone from a dusty brown to a rosy pink. I towel off and step out.

With the dirt washed out, I finish trimming my hair. Because of the mats, I have to cut it short. I finish up with a thorough shave. In the mirror, staring back at me, is someone I haven’t seen in over a year and frankly forgot existed.

And suddenly, I’m wracked with fear at the thought of Aiden seeing me. The dirt and grime were armor for my self-esteem. It wasn’t me who was being judged. It was my shoddy appearance. With it all washed away, there’s nothing left to hide behind. Aiden will now see me for who I am. And it scares the crap out of me.

*

AIDEN

Then you’ll owe me that kiss.

Of course, Zach won’t let the kiss comment go. I know. It’s mean of me to tease him like that. But it’s cute when he squirms a bit.

It’s clear he’s got a thing for me. It’s the little looks I get from him—the comments he makes. And I’m not exactly making things easy. I need to be honest with him. Tell him I like guys, but he’s not my type. And I’m not looking for new commitments because of how complicated my life is. Be forthright. No game playing. I’ll talk to him tonight.

In the meantime, he’s run off to get cleaned up, and I’m looking forward to my turn. The very idea of taking a shower makes me excited. I have weeks of sweat and grime that need to be washed off, and some scrapes on my arms are looking a little too red for my liking. Cuts getting infected is no joke in a world without plentiful antibiotics.

While I wait, I explore the cabin more. A pile of firewood rests next to the fireplace, but I don’t want to risk it. Smoke rising from a chimney is an invitation to be attacked. What with the warm day, the temperature in the cabin isn’t too bad. We’ll have to bundle up tonight if it gets cold.

It looks as if the cabin owners used candles for light. Ones of various sizes and shapes are spread throughout the entire room. I go around with a lighter and light them all up.

I’m surprised to find some actual food in the pantry. Most cans are long past their expiration date, but that’s not something you worry much about post-Great Collapse. I find a box of dry spaghetti and some jars of pasta sauce. We’ll have a nice little pasta dinner with some canned chicken. Might as well take advantage of having an actual kitchen. I find a large pot for the pasta and fill it with water.

I’m reading the instructions on the box of spaghetti when Zach comes out of the bathroom. At least it’s somebody roughly the same size and shape as Zach because, beyond that, there is no resemblance.

Um, wow.

My brain forgets how to hold things as the box of spaghetti falls out of my hand and lands on the floor, sending dried pasta everywhere. It’s like I’m seeing Zach for the first time.

His newly clean and short hair is a nice sandy brown. With it trimmed, his eyes are finally visible, and they’re a gorgeous shade of emerald-green with long, dark lashes. How have I not noticed them before? His cheekbones are pronounced, and he’s got a V-shaped jaw, full lips, and a cute little button nose. To put it simply, he’s adorable. I was expecting him to look better cleaned up, but I wasn’t expecting this. He cracked open a cocoon, and the real Zach popped out.

My surprise must be apparent because his face turns cherry red, and he looks downward.

“Your turn.” He avoids my gawking.

“Sorry, you just—” I can’t speak properly. “You—um—you clean up nicely.”

“Thanks. The candles are nice.”

“Oh, thanks.” The change of subject is welcome. I rub my hand on the back of my neck. “I hope it’s not too visible from outside. Oh, and I found some pasta we can make tonight.”

But then I stare at the spaghetti noodles spread all over the floor and start picking them up.

“Never let a little dirt get in the way of some dinner, right?” I say with an awkward laugh.

“Right.”

EverythingI do feels awkward, so I get up to leave. “Okay, gonna go shower.”

“Hey.” Zach looks at me and taps his finger on his cheek. “You owe me. Remember?”

Now it’s my turn to blush. I head over and kiss his cheek. Then I scurry off to the bathroom.

“Have a nice shower.” Zach gives me a little wave as I walk away.

It’s not like me to get that worked up over a guy. In fact, since Marcus died, I haven’t allowed myself to get distracted by guys at all. When I’m attracted to someone, I immediately shut the feelings down. Have nothing to do with them. But Zach came in like a stealth missile. His frazzled appearance fooled me into a sense of complacency. I mean, I already like him as a friend. I care enough that I risked the mission to protect him. But I saw him only as a friend. Never anything more. Right?

I’m a little ashamed of my reaction, honestly. Am I so superficial that my feelings can change that fast? Maybe I was feeling something for him, but seeing him cleaned up nudged me over the edge. And boy, am I over that edge. I can’t stop thinking about him.

Shit.

In the bathroom, I start the shower and undress. I run my dirty clothes under the showerhead, ringing out the dirt, and hang them up to dry. Plunging into the hot water, I relish the tingle of it cascading over my body. Weeks of dirt and grime wash down the drain. I scrub at the cuts and scrapes from the night in the forest, being sure to get all the dirt out.

As I wash, my mind drifts back to Zach, and I’m instantly hard. Ugh. I’m not ready for this kind of distraction. How could I ever be ready after losing Marcus? Given this world and my job, forming attachments is a bad idea. It’s a weakness.

I take care of my urges, which helps a little. But not much. When I’m done in the shower, I change into a new pair of clothes Zach packed in my backpack. Blue jeans and a flannel shirt. Not quite my style, but they fit well enough, and they’re clean, so that’s a major improvement.

When I enter the kitchen, Zach has dinner well underway. I survey the room. Candlelight. Pasta dinner. Secluded cabin. Oh god, did I set us up for a romantic date night?

He pauses cooking long enough to look me over.

“You clean up nicely too.” He’s got a little smirk on his face.

I’m having a hard time looking at him without blushing a bit. But I have to hit this head-on. I have to be honest but also set up boundaries.

I look Zach in the eye. “Hey, last night when you told me about wanting to find your boyfriend…”

“You like guys,” Zach says flatly. He’s always a step ahead.

“That would have been the right time to tell you. But yes. I’m gay.”

“Yeah, that got pretty obvious.” Zach lets out a little laugh.

I can’t help but laugh and smile too.

But a whiplash of emotions hits me as Marcus enters my mind, and I stop smiling. “Look, it’s complicated. You asked about Marcus. He was my boyfriend. I lost him to the fucking Infection. And I’m not ready for any new attachments.” A tear streaks down my face. I wipe it away quickly.

“I’m so sorry to hear about Marcus.” Zach’s eyes are full of understanding and sorrow. He’s familiar with my kind of pain. The sadness in his eyes is the same I have in my heart.

*

ZACH

We finish dinner quietly, only talking a little about our plans for tomorrow. There’s another campsite I want us to get to. Hopefully, with a full day of hiking, we can find it before nightfall. We avoid talking about the elephant in the room. The one where we both clearly have a thing for each other.

After dinner, we go directly to bed. Aiden insists I take the bedroom while he takes the couch since I slept in a chair the two nights before. Looking at the bed, there’s plenty of room for two. Sigh.

I lie there, staring at the log cabin ceiling, counting the knots in the wood, unable to sleep. My head is still spinning from tonight. The way Aiden reacted when he saw me was exciting but also startling. I underestimated how dramatic my transformation must have been to him. Like I said, personal appearance has been near the bottom of my priorities lately.

Plus, he never made it clear that he was into guys until tonight. I had my suspicions, of course, with his friendly comments and occasional flirting.

So he’s clearly attracted to me. But he also made it clear he hasn’t gotten over Marcus’s death yet.

And what exactly do I want, anyway? Even though I split up with him, Felix was my first love. We can’t ever love each other as we did before. And that’s probably my fault. But I still have to find out what happened to him. I have to see it through. Maybe it is better to keep personal connections to a minimum. I just have to keep Aiden around long enough to get me to Seattle.

Crap. What are the odds that two guys find each other after the Great Collapse, both attracted to each other but too hung up on their personal demons to make things work? It makes me want to punch the wall. Except punching the wall of a log cabin would probably hurt a lot. Geez, I’m even overanalyzing my emotional outbursts.

I fret over that until exhaustion finally forces me into a restless sleep.

Loud shouts wake me in the middle of the night, startling me until I realize it’s Aiden again, haunted by his past. Maybe comfort is all he needs? Love and support to help him through this.

I slink out of bed. At night, every single sound is so much louder. The squeak of the mattress springs. The creaks of the floorboards as I make my way to the bedroom door.

Aiden is tossing around on the couch, shouting nonsense again, every tenth word making sense. Marcus’s name is mixed in the yelling. Knowing who that name represents makes the whole thing more intense.

I’m nearing the couch to rouse Aiden from his nightmare when a new name floats out of the clamor. Perhaps it would have been indistinguishable if Aiden hadn’t mentioned it earlier. Connor. Hearing it gives me a chill. The man who’s hunting us.

Maybe shaking the hornet’s nest isn’t the best idea. There’s no telling how Aiden will react. So I tiptoe back to my room. No sooner do I close the door than the yelling stops, replaced by the soft sound of crying.