Chapter 16

Chapter 16

William wanted to focus on the ledger sitting in front of him. The numbers were not screaming out to him, captivating him like they normally would. Work was usually William's safe haven, a place where he could escape the desperation of his thoughts, no matter what they might be, but today, that was not the case. Nothing could take his mind off Lady Katherine and what she meant to him.

Spending time with Marcus and his other friends at the seaside had only highlighted what he now felt he was missing in his life. Having his family staying with him did not help matters. His mother and sister seemed to be a constant reminder of what he needed and, of course, the only face he could attach to that need was Lady Katherine Langley.

Because of her, William's thoughts were no longer consumed with having fun and finding a mistress for the night. He had been thinking of marriage again, possibly even more seriously this time around now that he was older, and even about having an heir. After all, what was the point of having a title and a manor if he did not have a child to pass that all on to?

Even with Lady Gillian, he had not been considering children quite as strongly as he was right now. They were more a passing thought. Something to add to the love story he envisioned with Gillian, but never something to focus on.

When he thought of Lady Katherine, absolutely everything was different, much more serious. It did scare William; there was no way that he could shy away from the fear of this change within him, but that did nothing to stop him.

The closer it got to his birthday ball, the more he thought about wanting to dance with Lady Katherine, wanting to show her how good he could be for her, given half the chance. He no longer put himself in the category where he was simply not good enough for her and that was the end of it; now he wanted to be so much better. He needed to be.

Even if her brother was Jonathan Langley.

The fact that William was still all consumed with thoughts of Lady Katherine, even knowing who her brother was, only made him even more convinced that she was the one for him. Whether it made any sense or not, she was the only woman he would ever want in this way. She had become everything to him.

He could not even think that he was moving too quickly again, like he had done with Lady Gillian because he had a connection with Lady Katherine. The shared things, they had spoken with one another...albeit only a little, but it was enough to know that he would never tire of her. She would always captivate him and leave him wanting more.

With these thoughts, William rose from his desk, leaving his ledger behind, and took a walk through his manor to check on his mother and sister. Ever since they had returned from their visit to the seaside he had been making a concerted effort to be more open with them, to speak with them as much as he could. It appeared to be working as well. The icy cocoon that he had been experiencing was thawing. The shift in his attitude had made everything so much more pleasant. Learning just that little bit extra about his father and feeling that similarity between them had warmed William up.

"Mother, Imogen." He found them in the drawing room, where they spent a lot of time quietly reading books. They looked surprised by his arrival. "I do hope that you are doing well. I came to see if you would like some tea."

"We are being quite well looked after by the housekeeper, thank you very much," his mother replied with a warm, caring smile. "Would you perhaps like to join us for a while? You appear to have something on your mind..."

William did indeed have all sorts of things on his mind, which he considered discussing with his family, but in the end, he shook his head. If he did indeed let his mother know that he was interested in Lady Katherine, then she would grow far too excited. He did not wish for her to get carried away just to be let down by him yet again.

Just because he had decided that Lady Katherine was right for him did not mean she felt the same way.

He could not put his family through more upset. Not when he had done enough. The love story might have worked out well for his parents, no matter what his father's behavior had been, but history did not always repeat itself even if he really wished for it to do so.

"No, I do think I should return to work. I have much to do."

His mother paused, as though about to say something, too, but caught herself at the last minute and nodded instead. "Of course you do. We do not wish to be a bother while we are staying here with you."

The ice was thawing, but they were not quite there yet. William hoped that would be altered with time.

"You are not. Of course not. I have thoroughly enjoyed having you here. You are always very welcome."

Imogen caught his eyes and gave him a half smile. William had absolutely no idea what was going on inside his sister's mind, and he was not sure how to communicate effectively with her. They had been apart for far too long. But he hoped that he was, at the very least, making a little bit of progress and warming her up to him. He did not want her to return to Bath thinking less of him.

Before he could even turn to leave the room, the butler caught his attention and announced the arrival of his friend, Robert Cavendish. This was not someone he had been expecting, but Robert never thought to announce himself beforehand. William glanced back at his mother and sister to see what they thought of the unannounced visit, but they had returned to reading and were not paying him any mind.

"It is business," he told them regardless, just so they were aware. "He is my partner in the textile business."

His mother merely nodded; Imogen did not even glance up. It displayed a trust in his judgment that he was not expecting. But then even if his mother had enquired about Robert, William would only have positive things to say. Robert was a merchant with a wonderful business acumen, who had made a substantial profit for William.

It was because of his work that William had been able to afford the fashionable lifestyle that his mother and Imogen currently lived. If it had been up to only him, William would not have been able to afford the same results. William appreciated him greatly, so he always had time for him.

"Good afternoon, Robert." William warmly greeted him in the parlor. Robert had already poured himself a glass of brandy since he was familiar enough with William to do so, so he joined him for a drink. "What a nice surprise this is."

"I am terribly sorry to visit when your mother is in town," Robert declared apologetically with a frown. "I did not know..."

"It is nothing to worry about. She is being well taken care of by the housekeeper." He echoed his mother's words from before. "But please, fill me in on everything that has been happening with you. It has been a while since your last visit."

Robert filled William in on everything that had been happening in the business world. William listened intently, taking every word in, all the while thinking that he was so lucky to have Robert. He did not have the passion to deal with everything the way that Robert did. Robert's effervescent personality worked well with the wealthy men they needed to work with. Their partnership was perfect because it allowed him to stay behind the scenes where he preferred to be.

"That is wonderful news." William nodded and smiled once Robert had finished talking. "I am glad to hear things are going well."

"You know, there is something different about you," Robert mused. William felt his eyes all over him as if he was trying to discover something that William had been hiding away. If he knew what it was, he would let it shine free. "You seem more mature somehow. Like something has happened recently to make you grow up." Robert laughed. "Now I only know of one thing that could possibly make a man of almost thirty years grow up. That is a woman. So, have you met one?"

"I have met plenty of women." William laughed, trying to push the question to one side. "I do not know what you mean."

Robert sipped his brandy and eyed his friend for a little while longer. "Oh, I think you know exactly what I mean."

William said nothing, but it was pointless. Robert knew William much better than he wanted him to.

"I am not the only person who has seen the change in you," Robert commented in an idle tone, as if this was not a big deal. "I am not the only one who has commented on it either. You have made quite a stir. The only thing that no one can work out is who this special lady is. As far as we all know, you have not been courting anyone. Unless there has been more going on with you than anyone has seen. But that is unlikely. It is hard to have secrets in London when people are interested in your every move. Something which I know you are unfortunately very experienced with."

Robert did not mention Gillian, nor did he need to. They both knew William's past far too well.

"You would be right about that," William agreed. "But I have not been courting anyone. There is nothing to know." That was not a complete untruth. He certainly had not courted Lady Katherine. "Sorry if that disappoints you."

"And yet, you have left your roguish lifestyle behind." Robert cocked a knowing eyebrow at William. "Which is rather curious. But if this is something that you would rather keep to yourself, then I understand. Though you might have to reveal this lady's identity soon, or other men might show an interest in her, and then you will find yourself in real trouble. What will you do then?"

That comment angered William. He might not have any right to her, but he did not want any other man trying to woo Lady Katherine. Even if she did decide that he was not good enough for her, which he would understand, he did not want to witness another man trying to court her. He did not even like the idea of another gentleman offering to dance with her. Especially not at his party. Would there be any way for him to prevent that from happening? It was supposed to be his celebration, after all.

"Ah, see? I can see it on your face." Robert chuckled. "You really do have a secret woman. How interesting. I knew this day would come, when you would want something more. It seems to happen for everyone eventually."

This caused William to think of both Marcus and Tristan and the happiness they had found. They had smiles on their faces all the time now, which had not always been the case. They really did seem to have it all.

"If you do not wish to share the details with me yet, I understand," Robert continued, ignoring William's obvious discomfort. "But I do think that this is a positive move for you. Do not go back to how you were before."

William sighed as a heaviness settled upon his shoulders. He could not imagine ever returning to who he once was. He felt so distant from the foolish man he had been that it was almost as if that had never been his life at all.

"I shall not," he reassured his friend. "I am just trying to get my footing with who I am right now. And how about you?"

"You are asking about my love life?" Robert scoffed. "I am afraid I have nothing to report to you there. You know me, I am always far too buried in business to be worried about that at the moment. Perhaps one day, but not right now..."

The men eventually moved on to other topics and finally landed back on business again, as always, before it was time for Robert to leave. With promises to see one another next at William's birthday ball, they said their farewells, and Robert went on his way. But even with him gone, their conversation stuck with William.

He was more mature; he had grown as a person, enough for other people to notice. Perhaps it was time to stop worrying about the past so much and criticizing himself for his slow progress. He was becoming a better person, but because he was living with himself every single day, it was hard for him to see the changes in himself.

With a smile, he decided to join his mother and sister for some tea after all. They would not be in London forever. Once his party was over he was sure they would return to Bath, so he had to make the most of them being around and spend all the time with them that he could.

Especially his sister, whom he really did wish to see smile. As he headed back to the drawing room where his family were still quietly drinking tea, he decided to even ask Imogen what dress she intended to wear to his party, and if she did not have one, then he might even offer to give her the funds to purchase a new one. His mother, too. After all, if his business was working in the way that Robert suggested it would be, then he was going to be coming into a lot of money soon, and he would definitely be able to afford it.

It would be nice to give back, to bring those barriers down between him and his family even more. That way, when they did return home, they would be sure to visit him again in London soon enough.