Chapter 7

It wasthe fear for my son that drew me outside. I didn't think Teddy would hurt him, he seemed calm when he separated them, but the few times he let his dominance show, he felt really heavy. I didn't know how stable his animal was.

When I came outside, I nearly swallowed my tongue. He was enormous, with paws as big as the cubs. If he stood, he'd probably be able to reach the tops of the trailers easily.

But there was something… odd about his bear. He was huge, and obviously dominant, but it felt like that dominance was tempered. He stayed calm and nudged the cubs apart gently with the back of his paw. It was like he was controlling his dominance so he wouldn't scare them. I wasn't sure if that was more kind or terrifying. Just how much dominance was he hiding?

Neither cub seemed to want to move until he gave them permission. He grunted, nudging Leo with his nose and directing him to the forest. He did the same for Kai and waited patiently until they both understood what he wanted and followed directions.

I hesitated between following and staying where it was safe, but my lioness demanded we go with Leo. I didn"t like being apart from him, especially when I knew he was around unknown males.

The door to the trailer flew open, making me jump. Javi and Scarlet hurried out, with Carmen not far behind them.

"Woah! He's almost as big as Uncle Derek! Are you going for a shift? Can we go?" Javi asked, bouncing around the giant bear shifter like it was normal to be near a bear that size.

Teddy nodded his massive head once, staying between Kai and Leo while he waited for Scarlet and Javi to join them. When the other cubs caught up, Teddy headed into the forest, the cubs on either side of him.

"That… was kind of amazing," Carmen whispered. "Only Jackson has ever gotten them to stop that quickly."

I nodded, following behind the little group as they explored the forest. Teddy didn"t know his way around, so Javi and Scarlet dodged past him and led the way.

"Do you… Do you notice dominance?"

Carmen tipped her hand from side to side. "A little. Mostly when someone is angry or their animal is close to the surface. I can feel Aiden's the most when he's mad. That's scary. But I never feel Malcolm's and rarely feel the rest of the crew. Ethan sometimes when he's having a bad day, but that's about it. Why?"

I hesitated. Shifters had excellent hearing. I didn't want to make Teddy angry by questioning him where he could hear me.

"N-No reason."

Carmen rested her hand on my arm, giving me an encouraging smile. "You can talk to me, if you want. I know you've been struggling since you got here, but this crew doesn't judge. They didn't judge me when they found me."

"W-Why would they?"

She sighed, resting one hand on her belly. "My ex didn't tell me he was a shifter. I was already struggling with raising a baby alone when Javi had his first shift. The only information Martín would give me was not to let Javi bite me or I'd change, too. He left me alone to raise Javi without teaching me anything. I had to resort to using a cage during Javi's shifts because I was scared and he didn't know not to hurt me." Her voice tightened, and she looked heartbroken, remembering it. "I felt awful every time, but I didn't know any better. The crew took me in when they found us, and they helped me learn to be a better mama for Javi. No one wants to push you too hard, but they can help you too, if you want. We all want to help."

Her story was shocking. I couldn't imagine not knowing about Leo's animal and trying to raise him on my own. That would've been terrifying. That the crew didn't judge her and helped them without question was a little unbelievable.

"But… isn't your mate in the crew?"

"He is. He was here when we got here. But he wasn't the one who invited us to come here. And he didn't know we were mates until a little later. He just wanted to help, like the rest of the crew did."

My eyes strayed back to the bear shifter watching over the cubs. He stepped in to help without knowing a thing about me or Leo. He just wanted to make it easier on me. He brought me inside, kept Leo calm, and sat next to me until I wasn't scared anymore.

"I… I'm not sure. I don't know what to do. Kiara wants me to go back to who I was, but–"

Carmen shook her head with a frown. "But you're not that person anymore. It's hard for people without kids to understand fully. You change once you have your first baby. You won't ever be who you were before."

There was more to it, but I wasn't comfortable explaining it to her. Living in the pride broke my animal. Kiara knew me when I was more dominant. Not like her, but not terrified over every passing leaf. She wanted me to get my confidence back. I felt guilty whenever the disappointment flashed across her face.

"Javi! Don't climb him! He's not a tree!" Carmen called, smiling softly at her son. "I swear… He's the sweetest boy on the planet, but he wasn't raised around other shifters. He doesn't think about why it"s wrong to climb on people. Derek doesn't seem to mind, but I don't know Teddy that well."

"He's not on your crew?"

She shook her head. "No. He's an old friend of my mate. He showed up this morning for a visit. That's why the crew was still here. They were greeting him." She grimaced, giving me an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. No one was thinking about it. Rhea warned us when you first arrived not to hang around if we knew you were coming."

"O-Oh… That's… I didn't mean to–"

"It's okay," she hurried to reassure me. "No one is upset. We understand. When Jackson first built this place, he'd intended on using the last trailer at the end for healing shifters. Like Javi and me. Helping us get back on our feet in a safe place when things were rough. He did it for Ethan and for Aiden. Sariah isn't as timid as you are, but Rhea wants her to heal, too. We know everyone's journey is different and we want to be supportive. Besides, getting the crew out the door on time is a chore. Knowing they had to clear out before you got there helped get them moving in the morning," she winked.

I still felt guilty making them leave their homes just to make me more comfortable. I was already a burden on my son. I didn't want to do that to Rhea's crew.

"As for helping you, I think we should talk to Esme. Her ex was… not a nice person. She might have better insight into your situation. And maybe we can set up some meetings with just the girls. Kiara says you're alone a lot at the compound. We can come visit and you can get to know everyone. It might help a little."

"That… sounds nice."

While I came every day for Leo's schooling, I didn"t interact much with the crew. I was too stressed about who might show up when. If they came to the compound, it might make things easier. Maybe.

A grunt caught my attention, and I looked up just in time to watch Teddy lie down. The rest of the cubs took it as an invitation and he turned into a jungle gym. Only Leo refused to participate. He wandered over to me and sat in front of me, protecting me from the world. An ache settled in my chest.

"What's wrong?"

Carmen must've noticed my frown because she stepped closer, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. I gestured to Leo, but didn't explain. I didn't want him to be angry with me. He was only trying to help. But when I looked at my son, I didn't see a little boy. I saw a cub trying so hard to be a man, so he could better protect me. He didn't play or laugh or make friends. He hovered and glared at anyone who came too close. Not all of that could be blamed on pride training. They forced him to grow up too soon, beat him if he cried, but my struggles only encouraged that behavior. His need to protect me would always override everything else. If I wanted him to get better, I needed to do more than watch.

"Rhea said… she mentioned meeting one male at a time. To– To make it easier. Do you… Do you have any suggestions?"

Her smile was kind, and she took a minute to really think about it. "Well… I'm a little biased, since Malcolm is my mate. But I think, if you're going to meet someone, the alpha might be the best. He's the calmest. Followed closely by Corey. His mate has a difficult animal, but he can always settle him with little effort."

I didn't know any of these males, and the idea of meeting them made my stomach clench uncomfortably. My gaze went to Teddy. Meeting him hadn't been my choice, and I was terrified for a good portion of it. But he wasn't so scary now. Watching him with the cubs, having him sit with me, holding my hand, offering me comfort without exasperation or impatience, it helped a great deal. I wouldn't say I was comfortable with him, but when playtime was done, and he came to join us, he let me reach one shaky out to touch him and bumped his head against my palm when I couldn't close the final few inches. If they were all as easy to be around as Teddy, I should be able to pull it off. And then maybe Leo would finally get a chance to be happy.