Chapter 19

For a little while,things were getting better. As long as Teddy was around, I felt more confident and I could do things that I wasn't comfortable with before. Like getting to know the crew. I could actually go to dinner with them every once in a while. Not every day, and it still made me anxious, but as long as I was surrounded by the females, I felt okay. But then Teddy started pulling back, urging me to do things without him, and the fear came back. It almost felt like my progress was going backwards. Without him there, I couldn't force myself out of the house.

I could tell he was concerned. He watched me with sad eyes, worry pooling in their depths. I felt guilty for ruining all the progress he made, but I just couldn't force myself to do it. Not without him there.

He still gave Leo and me rides to school each morning, and I was sitting in my usual spot when he got up and went outside to talk to Malcolm right before lunch. I didn't protest, since his whole reason for coming to the mountains was to see his friend, but when lunch rolled around, I figured he'd be hungry, so I cracked the door open to find him.

"I asked Mama about it. She said Talia's become too reliant on me. She won't get any better if I stick around. She's gotta start doin' things on her own."

My heart sank, and panic swelled in my chest. He was leaving. He wanted to leave because I wasn't making progress anymore. If I didn't get better, he'd be gone, and I'd lose him forever because I'd be too much of a coward to ask him to stay. I stumbled back away from the door, my breathing coming in short pants. Carmen stepped closer, concerned, but I couldn't explain myself right now. I made a dash for the bathroom, locking myself inside just as the first sob escaped me.

My mind was a swirling mess and I couldn't hear over the blood rushing in my ears. I got attached to Teddy and the thought of him leaving hurt more than the years of abuse I suffered in the pride. I didn't want him to go. But… he deserved better than me. He was a good man. A kind, protective bear who smiled every day. He deserved a strong mate who could keep him happy. Not a broken lioness who couldn't even go for a shift without panicking.

I couldn't hide in the bathroom forever. Leo came looking for me eventually. I came out because I didn't want to upset him. He deserved better, too. I spent the rest of the afternoon in a depression, frowning at my hands until Teddy brought us back home. Then I went to my room to lie down. I missed Kiara. When things got rough in the pride, I could always call her and she'd make me feel better. She couldn't fix it, but she supported me as best she could and I valued that while I was trapped in the pride.

Taking out my phone, I pulled up our text thread. She barely spoke to me anymore. She was probably mad at me for keeping things from her. I hid half my life in the pride from her in a pathetic attempt to spare her feelings. And now she didn't want to be around me.

It was almost like she knew when I was thinking about her, because my phone rang in my hand and her name popped up on the screen. Jolting upright, I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes and pressed the answer button.

"Kiara?"

"Hey…"

My throat burned around the lump that formed hearing her voice, but I fought back the tears. I didn"t want her to hang up.

"H-How are you?"

"Alright, I guess. Busy. I've been working a lot. How are you? How"s the compound?"

She sounded the same, if not a little terse. Probably waiting for me to fall apart again. I searched for something to say to draw her back home, but I came up blank. I didn"t want to guilt her into being here. I already did that with Teddy and he was leaving soon.

"It's okay. I…" I grimaced. "I was getting better for a bit but… now it feels like I'm going backwards."

"That's normal," she replied. "At least, that's what I've been told. This really annoying guy got caught in the middle of one of my jobs and I've had to keep him with me until I finish it to keep him alive. He won't stop talking and to get him to chill, we talked about you. He said recovery isn't a straight line, or whatever."

"Not or whatever," a male voice griped in the background. "You're awful at comforting people. You know that, right?"

"Shut up, Calvin."

"It's Cal! Stop calling me Calvin!"

They bickered with each other, but there was no fire in Kiara's tone. I could tell the difference. She sounded… happy.

"Is that your mate?"

"What? No!" She sounded offended, but then I heard Calvin's curious tone in the background.

"Mate? Like a boyfriend? Not for lack of trying. She's stubborn."

"Will you get away from me? I'm talking to my sister, and it's rude to eavesdrop."

"Like you're any better. You basically kidnapped me. Politeness is out the window at this point," he said blandly. There was a scuffle and a yelp before a door slammed hard. I jumped, surprised, and Calvin's cackle was a lot louder than before.

"Now I seriously need to thank my friends for the Jedi Training!"

Someone pounded on the door, and Calvin only laughed. "I'm talking to your sister. I need tips to win you over. Go find the bad guy or whatever."

"Cal, I'm going to kill you!"

"Yeah, yeah, you say that like every day now. I'm gonna take my clothes off. If you come in here, you better be willing to do something about it."

I heard Kiara's frustrated snarl before she went quiet and another door slammed in the background. Calvin snickered, and there was a beep on the phone that made me pull it away from my ear. He was requesting a video call. When I didn"t answer right away, he sighed.

"Don't worry, I'm not naked. I was just teasing. She's fun to rile up. Come on, I'm not that bad."

Well… Since he wasn't near me and couldn't hurt me, I didn't see the harm. It wasn't like he could hurt Kiara. She'd hurt him back.

Accepting the video call, I sat up and leaned against the headboard. The man who answered wasn't who I was expecting. Messy black hair, big glasses, and a goofy grin on his face. What little I could see of him looked thin. Not usually Kiara's type. But I'd heard the tone in her voice. She wasn't as mad as she pretended she was. He waved energetically.

"Hello! I'm Calvin, but please call me Cal. I've heard a lot about you. I'm glad she finally took my advice to call you. I swear, she checks her phone like three times a day. You should text her more. She misses you."

Pain bloomed in my chest. I didn't ever text Kiara first. I didn't want to bother her. Knowing she was waiting for me made me feel really guilty. I was starting to hate myself for just how poorly I treated the people I cared about.

"Hey, hey. Don't get upset. She really will kill me if I made you cry," he cajoled. He grinned sheepishly. "I really could use your help, you know. I know I'm a huge nerd and probably in no way her type, but I really like her. I need tips to get her to give me a chance."

Sucking in a shaky breath, I let it out slowly. He was kind enough to convince Kiara to call me when I needed her the most. The least I could do was answer his questions.

"I… I'm not sure. She never told me much about her dating. She works too much for relationships."

He tipped his head from side to side. "Yeah, I kinda figured. Did you know she takes multiple jobs at the same time? Meanwhile, I'm stuck in this hotel room waiting for her. Last time I tried to go with her, she handcuffed me to the bed. And not in the fun way, if you know what I mean."

I didn't, but he didn't offer an explanation. He was really excited and chatty, talking about how they met and how he felt like he was in a video game where she was the main character. He was… sweet. A little chaotic, but that might suit Kiara. She didn't like being bored.

"Anyway, I kinda have crappy luck with dating. Women don't want to give the nerdy guys a chance, you know? Not to mention, she's taller than me. Not by like a lot, but that's usually a deal breaker for some reason. Anything you can suggest would be helpful. What was that mate thing you were talking about? Is that just a fancy word for boyfriend?"

I rolled my lips between my teeth. Calvin was obviously human and didn't know about shifters. Telling him would be dangerous for both us and him. I wasn't a great liar, though, so I changed the subject to distract him.

"I, uh… I know a little that might help. Kiara hates being bored. Staying out here with me was hard on her because she was bored a lot. It's why she works all the time."

He nodded slowly, his eyes narrowed like he was thinking. "Yeah, I could totally see that. Does she have any hobbies?"

"Not that she's told me. Just work and helping me and Leo."

He pursed his lips. "I could work with that. Introduce her to some of my hobbies. She definitely won't be bored. I bet I can get the guys to let me do a virtual DD game. Or maybe some video games. I've been asking to go back to my place. Pretty sure whoever she's chasing doesn't know where I live." He muttered ideas to himself, rubbing his jaw with his free hand.

A door slammed open and his head whipped around. "Kiara?"

"You better be off that damn phone," she growled.

His grin came back, and he looked really mischievous. If he did manage to win Kiara over, he'd definitely keep her on her toes. The thought of my sister finding someone filled me with hope. She deserved to be happy. I wasn't the only one affected by the pride. She spent her whole life running and hiding from them so they wouldn't drag her back. Even now, she didn"t know how to stop. I hoped Calvin helped.

He put a finger to his lips to shush me and winked before calling out, "I'm busy making a dirty video. Come back later."

Her frustrated snarl would've made me nervous, but he just laughed. Maybe if he knew what was in her middle, he'd be more cautious.

"Anyway, I gotta get back to it. Thanks for the advice. And as poorly as she was explaining it, she was right. Progress isn't a straight line. There are ups and downs in recovery. I took a few psych classes in college, so I know my stuff. The important part is to keep trying. If you need anyone to talk to, just call me. I'll send you my number."

The door to the bathroom rattled like Kiara was trying to force it open, and Calvin's grin grew.

"Later. I'll send it later. Gotta go, bye!" He set the phone down but didn't press the end call button until after I heard him call out, "Oh! Are you going to join me? That'll make this video way more fun!"