Chapter 11

Other than theconfrontation during breakfast, the day was relatively easy compared to the one before. Teddy returned from his phone call after about thirty minutes, a sheepish smile on his face. He said his mother forgave him, but she let him have it first. He didn't seem at all bothered by being scolded by a female. He sat on the floor next to me and showed me pictures of him and his mother, and whispered happily about the food she made whenever he came home for a weekend.

When the school day was done, I was actually disappointed that it was over. I enjoyed spending time with Teddy. He was uncomplicated and almost always smiling. I wasn't sure I ever felt this comfortable around a male before in my life. And when he gave me those proud looks when I did something I wasn't comfortable with, butterflies exploded in my belly. I wished I could work up the nerve to ask him to stay when he dropped us off at the compound. But he promised he'd be back. He convinced me to let him take Leo fishing and even though it gave me anxiety to let Leo out of my sight, I wanted him to have fun.

It was getting close to when Teddy and the women of Blackridge would arrive, so I went to check on Leo, knocking softly on his door.

"Are you ready to go?"

He was hiding under his blankets again, and when he peeked out, he didn't look excited. He was scowling, and I could see the defiance in his eyes. He didn't like to leave me any more than I liked to leave him.

"I don't wanna go."

Stepping into his room, I sat uneasily on the edge of his bed. I wasn't comfortable arguing with a male, even my son, but I didn't want him trapped by my side forever. He needed to go have fun and be a cub.

"Can I ask why?"

He pushed the blanket away, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "I don't wanna leave you alone. You'll get scared."

My heart ached at his confession. I wanted to tell him he was wrong, but he'd never experienced any different. When the pride took him for lessons, I was always terrified until he came back. Both for him and for myself. I didn't like being alone.

"I'm not going to be alone. Carmen said the females of the crew were coming to visit. Rhea will be here. And Kiara said she'd come too."

He made a face, but I didn't let it discourage me. Leo was my everything. I wanted him to feel safe enough to leave my side, even just for a few hours. He didn't look confident, despite my reassurances, so I asked him again, "Why don't you want to go?"

He hugged his knees to his chest, mumbling too low for me to hear. He looked… scared.

"Oh, Leo. Don't be scared. You're a brave lion."

When I reached for him, he scrambled closer, climbing into my lap. He was so serious all the time, I didn't always see the little boy he truly was. He was still a cub, and he probably had just as many fears as I did. He was just better at hiding them.

"Tell me what you're afraid of. You don't have to face it alone."

He was always there for me when I was afraid. I needed to be a better mother for him. He needed to know I'd be there when he was afraid.

"I don't like males. They're mean," he muttered. "What if Javi's dad is mean, too?"

I squeezed him tightly, offering him all the comfort I could. "Teddy will protect you. I don't know Javi's dad. I've never met him. But we both know Teddy. He won't let anything bad happen to you. He's a kind male."

Leo nodded slowly. "I like Teddy. He's nice to you. He made you laugh. I haven't heard you laugh before."

That confession cut deep, and I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat. We sat together for a while, just holding each other tight. I forgot sometimes that I wasn't the only one mistreated by the males of the pride. Leo was treated better than me, more important, but they weren't kind to him. And they'd hurt him if they thought he needed a lesson.

Summoning my resolve, I let out a slow breath. "We can trust Teddy. He'll take care of you. I promise."

It tooksome convincing from Teddy to get Leo to leave, and he wouldn't go anywhere until the females of Blackridge arrived and joined me in the apartment. Only once he knew I was safe did he let Teddy lead him to the truck with a hand on his shoulder. He kept looking back, checking on me, so I waited by the door until he was out of sight.

I didn't even make it to the living room before the tears started falling. The familiar scent of my sister wrapped around me, and she pulled me into a hug, running her hand over my hair.

"This is a good thing. He needs to learn to be away from you."

I knew that, but it still hurt. After his confession earlier, I didn't want to let him go. I felt like the worst mother on the planet.

"I think–" I gasped around a sob. "I think you should take him. He'll be better with you. I'm not a good mom."

"Oh, honey, no," Sariah soothed, coming to stand next to us. "He's right where he should be."

There were murmurs of agreement and soon I was surrounded by the crew, their warmth and support tempering the panic and heartache to a more manageable level.

"You're a good mom. You wouldn't be making yourself uncomfortable every day to bring him to school if you weren't," Carmen insisted.

"My mom used to try and fight me to stunt my dominance. You're better than her," Liv, a panther shifter with dark purple hair, added. At my wide-eyed look, she shrugged. "She's a panther. Our animals are violent by nature."

The blonde next to her, Esme, rolled her eyes. "You're nothing like her. You're patient and kind, and you're going to be a much better mother than she was." She looked at me. "My mom told me to stay with an abusive man because I left home to pursue art. She said I had to face the consequences of my actions. You're way better than she was."

They all shared their experiences with imperfect mothers, and it made me feel a little better. I was trying, which was more than could be said about some of their parents.

"You're doing the best you can," Sariah insisted. "Being part of the pride wasn't easy for anyone, but especially not for you. No one is expecting you to get better instantly."

"Wait," Kiara interjected. "What do you mean by that? Why especially not for her?"

Dread filled my gut. I never intended to tell Kiara about what happened after she left. I kept things vague as much as I could. I didn"t want her to blame herself.

"N-Nothing. She didn't–"

"Don't start," Kiara snarled, releasing me and stepping back. "You're hiding something from me. You have been since I came to get you. What aren't you telling me?"

I shook my head, my hands shaking. I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell her the truth. I shot Sariah a panicked look, and she answered for me.

"Talia… The alpha wanted to punish her. He said she helped you escape, and that made her a traitor. Her relation to you made her a pariah. The only reason she wasn't treated worse was because she provided a son on the first try. That earned her a shunning instead of continuing to hurt her. It was a small mercy, but I was glad for it. We all were. At least they left her alone."

Kiara took another step back, her face morphing from angry to distraught. "Wait. They hurt her? Because of me?"

"Kiara–" I reached for her, trying to stop her, but she flinched away from me, her face filled with shame and regret. She shook her head, but before I could explain further, she spun around and left.

"Kiara!"

I chased after her, but she shifted the second she got out the front door and disappeared into the trees. Sobbing, I dropped to my knees in the dirt. I didn't want her to know. It wasn't her fault. I'd take a thousand pain-filled lives if it meant my sister, my favorite person in the world, could live her life freely. I just wished I could've had a chance to tell her that before she ran.

"Talia, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean–"

I shook my head, but I couldn't speak around the sobs. It wasn't Sariah's fault, either. I should've said something. Asked her to keep the truth to herself. I was an idiot, and I deserved the pain I felt. I should've protected my sister better. I couldn't even manage that.

The alphas always said I was pathetic. They were right. I couldn't protect myself, my son, or my sister. I was a burden on everyone. I even dragged Teddy into my mess. He was wasting his time trying to help me. I'd always be this way. It was better for him to move on. Better that I was alone.

My lioness panicked and because the spiral wouldn't stop, she took over, ripping out of my skin. Instead of chasing after Kiara, she went the opposite way. Away from the crew. Away from my family. Away from the pain. Thunder rolled overhead, but she ignored it. Whatever happened, I deserved to face it. Alone.