2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

LAILA

Present Day

I ’m lost. Not physically, but in every other sense.

Ever since the way things imploded in October at Ella’s last working wedding, I’ve struggled to find where I belong. Old habits die hard, I suppose, since I’m right back in Enchanted Hollow. It doesn’t matter where I go, my heart wants to be here.

Which makes me want to avoid it.

“The Reindeer Games take place at Ever After Farms. Yes ma’am. They’re part of the Christmas Festival. Ah, no it’s family games? You’re not racing actual reindeer.”

Sam’s brows draw together and he mouths ‘ sorry ’ so dramatically I have to stifle a laugh. He continues to explain that he’s sold out of accommodation packages, answering more absurd questions.

The Enchanted Hollow Bed-and Breakfast has transformed since I was here last: deep red and green pillows dot the cozy living area at the front of the building, facing stuffed bookshelves and a roaring fire in the historic fireplace. Pine and cinnamon permeate the space, since I’d be willing to bet that all the greenery decorating the space is fresh.

There’s a click as he sets the phone back into the cradle, followed by a heavy sigh.

“I’m so sorry, Laila. With all the Christmas activities here in town and on the farm, we’re full. For weeks.” Sam rubs a hand across the back of his neck, staring at his computer screen.

My future brother-in-law is tall, his handsome face set in a grimace like it’s a problem that his sweet little bed-and-breakfast has no room for me.

I’m thrilled for him, even if I’m struggling to show him that.

“I’m a little disappointed that I can't race real reindeer. What kind of place are you running here?”

“It’s kind of a liability issue,” he shrugs, a smile playing around his lips. “I can offer everything—but a room—that comes with the Holly Jolly Holiday Escape, though.”

“Save all of that for your guests, Sam. I’m just fine.”

“Unless,” he says, holding up a finger, “you want to share a room with the Anderson twins? But fair warning, they snore in harmony.”

“As appealing as that offer sounds, Sam, I think I’m going to have to pass.”

I should have given this more thought.

But as I ping-ponged across the country, diving full time into my influencer career the last couple of months, it’s only further driven home the fact that I’m alone. Especially when I land in sweet little places where people are deeply in love with each other.

Watching my step-sister fall in love changed my brain chemistry. Nothing has been the same for me since, despite the fact that I encouraged all of it. Our jobs at Gilded Vows didn’t follow the love story as it played out. We were just cogs in a machine, executing the perfect wedding day.

But now that I’ve seen what it looks like, I can’t unsee it.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts like an Etch-A-Sketch, and refocus on my current situation. The interior of this place isn’t the only thing that looks different. I can’t put my finger on it, but Sam seems a little less… polished?

That’s not it. Sam has facial hair. Ever since my cajoling with Ella about men and facial hair, it seems like that’s all I see now. That weird effect where you’re not looking for something and suddenly it’s everywhere .

Sam rubs his beard and grins. “I grew it for ‘no-shave November’ and I kinda like it. Thought I’d give it a more permanent test drive.”

“Saw me staring, huh?”

“It’s a new look. I’m not offended.”

“It’s not a bad look,” I shrug.

Facial hair is an instant upgrade, if you ask me. Just look at Steve Carell. That and the whole ‘silver fox’ look. But that doesn’t apply here.

Here, it's another reminder that everyone is moving forward and I seem to be stuck. Maybe even moving backwards.

Every Jackson sibling is gorgeous, and one day, Ella is going to add to the bunch. I rub my chest at the sudden pang in my chest.

“What if I call Mom? I bet she’d find a place for you at the house.” He’s so sweet, staring at me earnestly.

He probably mistook my gesture for something else, when really, I’m equally thrilled and heartbroken for my step-sister. My sister.

“I couldn’t impose, Sam.”

I’m also not sure I can handle being around their enormous family right now. That would probably make this feeling worse. As actively as I’m working to avoid my genuine emotions, I should put on some running shoes.

“After Luke and Ella are married, you’ll be family too,” he insists. “Mom would love to have you there.”

My scarf feels like it’s choking me. I want to be here, but I’d really hoped Ella and Luke could’ve waited to get married. I knew better, but I still hoped. There’s a lot waiting here in this town for me to unpack and I’d rather do literally anything else but face my feelings. And you know, a certain someone.

Every visit until the one this past fall has always flown under the radar. Ella doesn’t know that I’ve been back here for quick weekend stays over the years, hunkered down in a little historical apartment with a dark-haired baker. If she finds out our whole history, she’ll return the encouragement I doled out to her tenfold.

I shudder.

Holden and I will eventually have to talk about what happened when I was here last. It’s a small town. I can’t avoid him forever. That’s what grown-ups do, right? At least that’s what Ella keeps insisting.

She’s tossing the advice I gave her right back in my face .

My phone rings, a cheery Christmas tune floating in the air.

“Just a second.” I smile at Sam and walk into the cozy library area that overlooks downtown Enchanted Hollow.

“Are you here?” Ella’s voice screeches through the phone speaker, and I cringe.

“Yes, I’m here. Will you calm down?”

“Did Sam have a room?”

I glance back over at Sam, hunched over the welcome desk, frantically flipping through pages.

“No such luck.”

“Come stay here then!”

I walk along the bookshelves, stuffed to the brim with volumes of books. Some paperbacks, some hardbacks, some brand new and others vintage. I’m a little sad I can’t stay here, curled up in front of that fire. It feels like a safe space.

At least until a memory of Holden reading me A Christmas Carol flashes into my mind unbidden and I turn away from the shelves completely.

Ella living on Ever After Farms is fitting. She temporarily moved into the Jackson farmhouse when Luke’s mom insisted upon it. There was an incident with some freak cold weather and a fountain—something about the Mayor—and everyone decided it was best she stay protected until she got through her celebrity wedding.

But then Luke proposed–a lovely mirror of her own parents' love story–and she stayed. They live on opposite sides of the enormous farmhouse, but it’s another thing that I’m struggling with.

I love that Ella is happy; that she finally found her place. But I wasn’t expecting how lonely I’d feel when she did. My twin Bridget has echoed the sentiment. We’ve both noticed the massive hole in our lives since Ella came home.

Home.

I’m not sure I know what that feels like anymore. I thought I did, but again, Ella’s stay here opened my eyes to a lot I’ve been avoiding.

Like I said: I’m lost .

“I can’t do that,” I say, refocusing on the conversation. “You need your space.”

Her laugh teases a smile out of me. “If you think I have space in a house with ten other people in it, you’re crazy.”

“Not all ten still live there,” I say, glancing again at Sam.

The whole Jackson family is nosy, and I don’t need a certain someone knowing I’m here. Not until I can get settled and wrap my head around the fact that I’m here at all.

Again.

Right on cue, the front door bursts open, a flurry of snow blowing in with the bundled up figure.

“This cold snap is crazy!” he says, hurriedly closing the door behind him.

“Ella, I have to go.” Despite her protests, I press ‘end’ on the phone and let my arm drop to my side.

Sneaky matchmaking town.

Or maybe it’s a sneaky matchmaking future brother-in-law.

Holden unwraps his scarf from around his face and stomps his snow boots on the mat just inside the door. He turns to me, a goofy smile appearing.

Did all the men in this town grow beards?

Butterflies erupt in my belly as I take in this new, rugged version of him. When I last saw him in the fall, his skin was smooth. So smooth.

A ragged breath escapes me when I remember how his face felt against mine.

I may act like he’s not, but Holden is an addiction for me. One I’ve tried to quit on multiple occasions, like people do when they delete social media apps from their phones. He’s a dopamine hit with every smile, every hug, every ‘hello’.

One look at him says I’m in big trouble.

“Sam says you need a place to stay?”

I turn and glare at him. “Are you a fairy godmother, too?”

“Way to be cool, Holden. Talk to you soon, Laila, I’ve got laundry to fold,” he says, darting out of the room.

“Coward!” I shout after him.

It’s mentally exerting to prevent myself from stepping into Holden’s arms, letting him welcome me back. But that’s not my place anymore.

“Is this everything?” Holden asks, pointing to my bag.

“You’re not helping me.”

“Sam said he’s full, but I know the perfect place for you to stay?—”

“I’m not staying with you.” I shake my head. Standing here is hard enough. Nothing sounds more tortuous than being in close quarters of any capacity with Holden.

“Miss me?” His smile brightens and I swear the lights of the bed-and-breakfast flicker.

“Sure. Like a burr in my sock,” I retort.

His megawatt smile falters for only a second before he takes the handle of my bag and lifts it. I’m being unfair—I know I’m being unfair—but this helps keep him at a distance.

“Before you say no, it’s a historic house. Updated, with lots of room. Perfect for a city girl like you.” His eyes twinkle with mischief.

Fine. We’re doing this, I guess.

“As opposed to a small town hermit?”

“Don’t take your hangry attitude out on me.” He unzips his coat enough to retrieve a cellophane package from inside his coat. When he hands it to me, there’s a little gingerbread girl holding a cell phone inside it.

It’s really cute. And it’s a splash of cold water on my poor attitude.

“I’m not hangry,” I grumble as I unwrap it.

It’s a subtle peace offering, even though he’s not the one who needs to be extending the olive branch. He told me how he felt, and I didn’t react the way he wanted me to.

“I promised your sister I’d bring you by the farm before I take you to your rental,” he says, re-wrapping his face before motioning for me to do the same.

“I miss when it didn’t snow here,” I grumble. “Think this will go away anytime soon?”

“Maybe after the wedding.” He opens the door for me, and I flinch at the cold that whips through the door.

With everything I’ve seen, it should be easy to accept that Mayor Gold has a bit of a temper. One that affects the weather. But that’s just it. I’ve seen it. And it makes me uneasy that it’s still going on.

“At least Ella gets her white wedding,” I say, following him down the stairs to his waiting car.

In true Holden fashion, it’s running with the heat on. My eyes snag on the brightly colored cup from Once Upon a Brew, as we climb in. Eagerly, I peel away unnecessary layers.

“It’s a Gingerbread Wishes Latte,” he says, clearing his throat.

This is my second favorite coffee from this town, and we both know why he didn’t bring me the first.

“Thanks.”

I totally deserve to have to smell the spicy scent of cinnamon, cloves, and ginger all the way out to the farm. At least I can caffeinate while I suffer.

Like he can hear my thoughts, he sucks air through his teeth.

“It’s decaf.”

Awesome. Quinn isn’t happy with me either.

This is a great start to the trip.