Chapter Three

CHAPTER THREE

LUCA

I’m not sure how long I stare at the fireplace after I hang up the phone with Leigh. My thoughts race and I’m torn between wanting to punch in the drywall of the rental house and calling her back to demand answers.

A son.

She has a son.

I might have a son.

Why didn’t she tell me?

What does he look like?

Is he mine?

If he’s not mine, whose is he?

Was the sex so bad that she had to sleep with someone else so she could forget me?

No. I’m fucking amazing in bed.

If there’s another guy, he definitely came before me.

But what does that make me?

The rebound?

Sloppy seconds?

What if he is mine?

Do I want him to be?

Fuck.

“You wanna explain what that was about and why, instead of answering, me you’re staring at the fireplace like it’s going to explode?”

“Huh?” I look up and find my twin standing in the doorway of the room we dubbed the makeshift office. Really, it’s an additional living room, but when you’re staying with three other owners of professional teams for the holidays, two of which are still in season, a quiet place to work is necessary.

“How the hell do you do that?” I ask as Enzo enters the room and plops down on the couch next to me.

“What?” My twin lifts his hand and examines his fingernails like the pretentious asshole he is, pretending he doesn’t know exactly what I’m talking about.

I arch a scrutinizing brow in his direction, and he chuckles.

Ever since we were kids, Enzo’s had the uncanny ability to just appear out of nowhere. It suits him as the quiet and contemplative half of this dynamic duo, but damn if it isn’t both unnerving and utterly annoying.

“Usually, I’d say I’m just the stealthy twin, but this time I absolutely made my presence known. You just were too lost in the conversation you were having.”

Was I?

“Now you wanna tell me who you just invited to Christmas?”

Fuck.

“No one.” I lock my eyes back on the fire, hoping he’ll drop it.

Of course, ever the perceptive jackass, he doesn’t. “Really? Because it sure as hell sounded like you did.”

“She’ll be in the guest house. None of you will even know she’s here.” It’s a terrible plan. Even I know that, but I couldn’t let the opportunity pass me by.

Leigh Bennett—James now, I remind myself—is my path to redemption.

And maybe my future.

If there’s even a chance that little boy is my son, I deserve to know.

“Oh, so it’s a she. Alright, we’re getting somewhere.” Enzo tilts his head and offers me a mischievous grin. He sits up a little straighter and steeples his fingers together. “Though I’m pretty sure we have rules about bringing guests, especially women, to Bucket List Christmas.”

“Fuck the rules.”

Enzo chuckles, enjoying this turn of events far too much.

Every year, me, my brother and our two best friends—Holt and Bash—leave our respective cities and teams in California to meet up for Christmas. The rules of the trip are simple: we go to a new location, picked by one of us from the bucket list of our lost comrade, Jack. It’s our way of honoring him and making sure our little family gets together at least once a year.

I added the additional rule of no women because of Bash and his fucking accent. It doesn’t matter where in the world Christmas takes us, that smooth talking bastard always ends up bringing strays back to the house to celebrate with us. Any other time of year I wouldn’t care, but Christmas is just for the four of us. The only exception being if there is an intent to shackle a ring on the fourth finger.

I can’t believe my own damn rules are coming back to bite me in the ass.

Honestly, when I made them, I petitioned for vows to be exchanged before ever letting any woman ruin what we have.

That was before today.

Initially, the plan was to help Leigh out, make sure Monarch Hearts got set up in time, prove I’m no longer an asshole, and apologize for my crimes. She'd be here a day or two—tops. Maybe we’d have a repeat of that night in the vending machine closet, with the opportunity for future nights together when we were on the same coast. Afterwards, Leigh would be back home before Christmas, and the guys would’ve never even known she was here.

Now I’m forsaking every word I ever said—every rule I ever made—in order to get Leigh and that little boy to Telluride.

Because if he’s mine, then there’s not a chance I’m missing another Christmas.

Or birthday.

Or future school plays.

I’m done missing everything.

My hands fist in my lap. The urge to punch something back in full force.

“She has a kid,” I admit. Only because he’s my brother—my twin. He knows me better than anyone else. If there’s anyone who can talk this through objectively, it’s him.

Enzo cocks a brow, his interest clearly piqued. “And who is this mysterious she ?”

I don’t immediately answer but relax when his amused expression gives way to concern. “Leigh Bennett.”

His pompous expression slips, and Enzo presses his lips together, holding back a laugh. “This wouldn’t happen to be the same Leigh Bennett you accused of stealing our mother’s priceless necklace, would it? Who is now Leigh James, the CFO of Renegade Hearts?”

“Yeah,” I confirm reluctantly, bracing for the ribbing I know is coming.

“The same Leigh James you let hate fuck you at the hospice gala because you were in your feels and had too much tequila.”

“One and the same.”

“And she has a kid.”

“He’s two,” I deadpan.

It takes Enzo all of two point five seconds to put the pieces together. His eyes go wide and he whispers a less than eloquent, “Oh fuck.”

You know it’s bad when you’ve reduced Lorenzo Donati to profanities.

I press my lips together and nod. “Exactly.”

“Are you sure he’s yours?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why didn’t you just ask her?”

“I—” My gaze tracks to the large floor-to-ceiling windows, watching the snow fall in fat fluffy clumps as I try to find a way to admit my thoughts without making myself sound like a dick. “I wasn’t sure if I was ready to know.”

Asking makes it real. Right now, I can still exist in the space where the tiny shred of doubt lives. Because as much as I’ll gladly step up and become Dad of the Year, the idea still terrifies me.

“So you invited her to Christmas instead?”

“Listen, it wasn't my finest moment of thinking on my feet.” I meet my brother's scrutinizing gaze. “I told her to bring him with her.”

Enzo rolls his eyes. “I know you’re brawn and not the brain of this twinship, but not even you can think this is a good idea.”

“I don’t know,” I snap, cutting off anything else he was about to say. “I—Fuck. I don’t know.”

Unable to sit still, I jump to my feet and round the couch, pacing the length behind it as I try to work through my thoughts. “Leigh is the farthest thing from the person I should be having a child with, but also, I could do worse. And if he is mine, I’ve already missed so much. I’m angry and confused and have no idea what the hell I’m doing. I just know I needed to do something, and getting them to Telluride under the guise of working on Monarch Hearts seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“I get it.”

I freeze mid pace and look over my shoulder at him. “Do you?”

“No, not at all.” He huffs with a sardonic laugh. “But you know I’m in your corner no matter what. And the guys will be, too, after they get over the fact you invited her to Christmas when you’ve cock blocked the shit out of them over and over.”

“I know,” I groan, knowing damn well they are going to make my life hell. Especially Bash.

Fucking Leigh.

I run a frustrated hand through my hair, tugging at the strands at the base of my neck.

How could she not tell me?

I get that we don’t exactly have a good history, but we could have fixed things sooner like I wanted to.

But no.

She had to go disappear on me, and then when I had the chance, I fucked it up.

Shit.

We have a kid.

“So what are you going to do?” Enzo’s question stops me from continuing on my doom spiral.

“What more can I do?” I ask, a helpless sort of weight anchoring in my chest. “When she gets here, I’m going to ask what the hell she was thinking and demand a paternity test.”

“What about Monarch Hearts?”

I scoff. “You and I both know I’ve had the logistics ironed out for weeks. I spoke with Phillip over at the Lobos Chapter, and he sent over his notes. I’ll get the final bit done tomorrow before Leigh gets here. That way, she just needs to sign off on it.”

Enzo smirks, reading between the lines. “Was this your plan all along? Get Leigh alone?”

“Before I found out about the kid?” I give him a sheepish shrug. “It’s possible. You know I’ve wanted to fix things for years.”

“I know. And after you saw her this past spring, you became obsessive.”

Not one of my finer moments. But there is something about that woman that drives me mad. She’s fucking incredible. Smart. Sexy. Sarcastic with a side of no bullshit. I know I don’t have a chance in hell, but the feral part of me wants to chase her until she lets me keep her.

Of course, I’m not about to tell my twin that. He’ll never let me live it down. So I brush him off with a bit of brutish assholery. “She gave quite possibly the best head I’ve ever had.”

“You’re disgusting,” Enzo huffs with a roll of his eyes, and all I can offer is a half-hearted shrug.

“I never claimed to be otherwise.”

He continues to shake his head and faces back toward the crackling fire. “That could be the mother of your child.”

“At least I know she’s good at it. Especially if she’s the only woman I’ll be with for the rest of my life,” I say as I cross the room and pour us each two fingers of sipping tequila.

“Wait—what?” Enzo whips his head around just as I offer him his glass. “What the hell does that mean?”

He grabs it and clinks it against mine.

“If the kid is mine, I fully intend on marrying that woman.”

Enzo manages to avoid spitting out his own tequila, swallowing hard. “Seriously?”

I nod, savoring the delicious flavor with a dash of heat the tequila leaves at the back of my throat.

“You know this isn’t the nineteen fifties? You can absolutely have a child and not have to marry someone.”

I give a dismissive shrug and sink back onto the couch beside him. “Maybe you could, but not me.”

“Where the hell is this coming from?” My brother looks at me like I’ve grown a second head. “I know you’ve got some mommy issues, but I never took you for a traditionalist. Not after everything our family put us through.”

“Mom and Dad are a cautionary tale, to be sure. Because of them, we were little high society carbon copies of themselves—lie and cheat by whatever means to stay on top. It was toxic, and they stepped out on their marriage repeatedly, but they instilled a sense of family in us.”

Enzo snorts into his tequila and takes a sip. “And yet neither of us speaks to them.”

I look away to hide my wince, unwilling to let him know about the fifteen missed calls I have from our mother. There’s a reason I’ve been ignoring them.

“True. They may not be the family I choose to surround myself with now, but I appreciate that value. You are my family.” I nod to the door that leads to the kitchen, where our best friends are yelling at the football game on the television. “They are my family. I want that for my son. But more than that, I want him to see what I never did—a team when he looks at his parents.”

I want that for myself .

Which is why I’m torn when it comes to those missed calls. I can’t stop the hope that maybe one day our real family will want the same.

Enzo chews on my words. Literally. I can see his jaw working as he tries to make sense of everything I’ve just said.

Family isn’t something we talk about. Not outside what we have going with Holt and Bash. This is all we need. Or rather, it’s all Enzo needs. But me? Lately I feel like I’ve been searching for something more. Maybe this is it.

Minutes pass until Enzo finally asks, “And you have to be married for that?”

I shrug. “That’s just how I always pictured it.”

“Damn it, Luca.” Enzo drains the last bit of tequila in his glass and lets out a low, frustrated chuckle. “I guess we’re doing this. Should I put out an ad in the Los Angeles Times and break hearts everywhere by letting them know Luca Donati is off the market?”

“Get fucked,” I joke, finishing off my drink and setting the glass on the coffee table. “Thanks for being in my corner.”

“Always.” And despite the arrogant smile on his face, I know he means it. “Now you’ve just got to go out there and tell Bash and Holt your little plan.”

I wince as I consider the other two members of our unorthodox family.

Bash is going to love rubbing this in my face. Especially after all the shit I’ve given him about bringing women back on previous trips. Holt, on the other hand, is going to be a tough sell. Of the four of us, he was the closest to Jack. The most protective of our time together and the sanctity of this trip.

“I was thinking we could just wait until I know if the kid is mine.”

Enzo’s eyes widen. “You’re just going to hide Leigh and the kid in the guest house like a dirty little secret?”

“Okay, so I haven’t completely thought this through,” I admit.

“Well, it sounds like you have twenty-four hours to figure it out.”

Twenty-four hours.

More like torture.

My phone buzzes and I look down to see a nine-oh-six area code.

I don’t need a name to know it’s my mother.

Hitting the red decline button, I hide the guilt from my face and grin.“Do you get a bachelor party for becoming a dad? Like a last night of freedom.”

Enzo rolls his eyes and pushes himself up from the couch. “I don’t think that’s a thing.”

“It should be.”

He heads for the door and motions with his hand for me to join him. “How about we go watch the game and you can pretend it’s a bachelor party?”

“Nah, I think I’m going to finish up these notes for Monarch Hearts. I’ve got to convince Leigh to let me put a ring on her finger.”

“You’re going to have to do more than some paperwork if you ever want that to happen.”

“I know.” I’ve already got a ten-point plan formulating in my mind for how I’m going to apologize, win her over, and make her pay for keeping this from me in the first place.

All in two days.

It’s called balance, right?

“Can you make sure the guys are out of the house tomorrow night around six, so I can sneak Leigh in?”

“Sometimes I hate that you’re my twin.” Enzo huffs, shaking his head as he pauses at the threshold of the room and looks over his shoulder. “I’ll do your dirty work, but for the record, I still think this is a terrible idea.”

I offer him a sardonic grin. “Noted.”

Once he’s gone, I pick up my phone and type Leigh’s name into the search bar in the hopes there is a picture of this mystery child somewhere on the Internet. Renegade Hearts is the first thing that pops up, followed by articles covering the incredible things the non-profit is doing. All things I’ve read at least a hundred times each since spring training at the Orange League Gala.

She was stunning that night. Dressed in a floor-length midnight gown that brought out the blue in her eyes. Glaring at me from across the room as I tried everything in my power to get close to her.

Each time, she managed to slip away.

But not this time.