Chapter Twenty Five

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

LUCA

So much for happy endings.

That singular thought has grown legs, procured a ten-inch blade, and is stabbing my heart—repeatedly.

I stumble out the door to where my best friends are all drinking beers, laughing in the hot tub. Silence washes over the deck as the door slams behind me, and they all swing their heads in my direction.

“Luca? Are you okay?”

I’m not sure which of them says it, but it doesn’t matter, because no. I’m not okay. Nothing about me is okay.

I thought we were on the same page. Wanted the same things. In my mind, it was romantic—a grand gesture, if you will—telling off my mother and stating my intention to marry the woman who has consumed every fiber of my being. Isn’t that what guys do in the romance books she reads? Wasn’t that what she wanted?

Fuck, how did this go so wrong?

Crossing the deck in a haze, I swing my legs over the edge of the hot tub and splash down, not bothering to undress.

“What the fuck, Luca?” Bash yells.

“My thoughts exactly,” I mutter.

“Where’s Leigh?” Holt asks. “And why do you look like someone killed your dog right in front of you?”

“Inside. And because she did. Only replace dog with dreams of a future.”

Enzo’s eyes narrow. “Start from the beginning.”

So I do.

Though I’m pretty sure I black out because I don’t remember telling the story by the time I’ve finished. But I must’ve, because each of my friends is looking at me through the steam like they are ready to punch my teeth in.

The only one with a good excuse to do so is Enzo.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen my twin look as homicidal as he does right now.

“That’s a lot to unpack, but let’s put a pin in the way you colossally fucked up with Leigh and talk about you and our lovely mother.” Enzo’s voice is melancholy with a hint of murder. “How long have you been talking to her?”

“Enzo, I?—”

“How. Long. Luca.” His words are staccato, taking over the knife and plunging where Leigh’s rejection left off.

“She’s been calling for the last month or so, but I didn’t answer until tonight.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?” he thunders, slamming his fist into the water, causing Bash and Holt to wince. “That woman has never done anything without an agenda.”

“Gianna’s pregnant.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck if she’s the next Octomom. She chose to sit by and watch our parents silently ostracize us and picked up the slack when we wouldn’t, so she could be the golden child.”

“I’m sorry,” I wince.

“I—” He runs his hand through his hair, slicking it back. “Fuck, I know you are. And I know you didn’t do any of this because you wanted to hurt me. But you did. You know what they did to me. To us. And still you can’t help yourself when they dangle redemption in front of you.”

“I told her no.” And for the first time in a long time, it didn’t hurt. Of course, that’s when I thought my own dreams were still on the table.

Now I’m floating, searching for solid ground.

“This time.” Enzo’s jaw ticks. “You told her no this time. But what about next time? What about when you have a family of your own and they want to be a part of their grandchild’s life?”

“It won’t happen,” I reassure him.

I’d need a family first. But that’s not the point. He’s right. Even though my track record has shown my loyalty, at the first opportunity, I broke.

“Even if it means your children will never know their grandparents?”

“We didn’t know ours.”

“And now you chase family like it's a goddamn sport.”

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“You sure about that?” Enzo presses. “Should I go ask Leigh?”

“Low fucking blow.”

“He’s right.” Bash finally decides to jump into the fight, only I’m not sure whose side he’s on until he continues. “Are you sure you aren’t just projecting the way you cling to family onto Leigh?”

“No.” My jaw clenches right alongside my fists. I inhale a steadying breath, so I don’t give into the need to connect said fists with my best friend’s jaw. “If this was just an idea, I could've found someone years ago. Trust me, plenty of women have tried. I didn’t want it then, and I don’t want it with anyone else now. Shit, with Leigh is complicated, and usually I steer clear of that, but with her? I want it all. The white picket fence, or in this case maybe the upper east side apartment, and every messy moment it’s going to take to get there.”

Enzo sucks in a sharp breath. “You’re going to move to New York?”

Our eyes connect. The same set of eyes on two different souls, and I know he feels my words when I say them. “I love her.”

“Does she know this?” Holt asks.

“I mean,” I scrub my hand down my face, recalling the conversation. “I just let our mother know I was going to marry her, so I think she knows.”

My twin sighs but doesn’t look away. “No, she knows you're a psycho stalker who might be the father of her child and wants to trap her in a marriage she didn’t ask for. Do you see the problem here?”

Disappointment rocks my soul, and I look away first. “Fuck.”

“You did it again.” Bash huffs with a laugh.

“I did.”

If this was anyone else other than my best friends, I might deny it, but they know me inside and out. Once again, I got ahead of myself. And as it does every time I do so with Leigh, it bit me in the ass.

“Did you give her the results?” Enzo whispers, but it’s not soft enough that Bash and Holt don’t hear.

“You got them?” Hurt flashes across Holt’s face.

“Yes, on both accounts.”

“How did you conveniently leave that part out?” Bash raises his voice and crosses his arms over his chest. “What did they say?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t look at them.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because like I told Leigh. It doesn’t matter what’s in that envelope. I’m all in.”

Silence washes over the hot tub as Bash and Holt scrutinize my words. I watch as they go from anger to understanding, to acceptance, and finally back to brotherly love.

Bash is the first to break and lets out a long, slow whistle. “You really fucked this up, my dude.”

I grunt. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”

“You really thought you were gonna win her over with that power move, didn’t you?” Holt teases and even though I’m annoyed, I’m glad I have them in my corner.

“Clearly.”

“So what are you going to do now?” Bash asks. For as much as the guy hates being involved in planning, when it comes to drama, he’s the first to jump in.

I shake my head in defeat. “I have no fucking idea.”

“Lucky for you I’m the king of smooth moves.”

Enzo huffs a laugh. “And on that note, I’m going to get us more drinks so we can all forget later about Bash’s smooth moves.”

My twin hops up, slides out of the hot tub, and makes a break for the warmth of the main house. I can’t help but wonder if he’s going to see Leigh. Is she still in the living room making those stupidly adorable footprints? Is she already planning her escape?

Shit.

Am I going to wake up to find both of them gone?

Panic grips my spine, and I suck in a ragged breath.

“Don’t listen to him,” Bash scoffs. “We’ll come up with something that’s going to knock her off her feet.”

Will we? Is that what it’s going to take? I thought that’s what I already did? Maybe I really don’t know anything about her.

No.

That’s not it.

I know plenty. Leigh’s a romantic, but she doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve. She puts Zach first. Always. Never herself.

Damn it.

I really did fuck up.

“No,” I whisper.

“What do you mean, no?”

“That’s where I went wrong.” God, it all seems so clear now. “Leigh doesn’t need grand gestures. She doesn’t need fancy words or shiny things.”

“What does she need?”

“Action. Stability. Someone who isn’t going to run.”

“Didn’t you already tell her you aren’t?”

The answer was there the whole time, but instead of listening, I did what I would have wanted.

Shit. I’m the chick in this relationship. I want the grand gestures. Leigh though—she wants the silent action. The quality time. The acts of service. She needs to know I’m not going anywhere and that she and Zach can count on me.

“Yeah,” I agree, a hint of a plan starting to form. “I know what I need to do.”