Chapter Twenty

CHAPTER TWENTY

LEIGH

I wake up in the darkened bedroom in the guesthouse, unsure of three things:

How I got from the gondola to here.

When I passed out.

How long I’ve been asleep.

What I do know:

My thighs are raw from the scruff of Luca’s jaw.

When I think about what happened, my pussy twitches with the need for a repeat performance.

God, that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had.

Scratch that. The best two orgasms.

If I had known last time that Luca could do all that with his tongue, I would have demanded he get on his knees instead of the other way around.

I curl into the fluffy duvet and take stock of the pure satisfaction radiating from my body. I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to come at the hands of a man. Let this serve as a reminder never to let the cobwebs take over again.Luca knows what the hell he’s doing.

Speaking of Luca…

I roll over, finding no trace of my maybe baby daddy.

God, that’s still such a weird thing to admit—even in the silence of my own mind. But surprisingly, I don’t hate it.

My eyes drift to the clock on the nightstand, and I almost choke. It’s nearly ten o’clock. I’ve slept for two hours.

Does that mean Zach is in his room? Or is he still in the main house?

Shit.

Scrambling to get up, I all but fall out of the bed only to realize I’m in nothing but an oversized Monarchs shirt that may or may not be Luca’s. No panties in sight.

And he calls me a thief.

I eye a set of sleep shorts draped over the chair in the corner, and then, in a manic attempt at being sexy, forgo them all together. Hopefully Luca didn’t invite the guys to come over, otherwise this could get real awkward, real fast.

Zach’s room is void of any sign of him. It’s not until I’m almost to the living room that I’m hit with a delicious smell and the sound of someone softly singing Santa Baby .

He’s off key and makes up the words he can’t remember, but it’s the spirit of it that melts my heart. This man has so many sides to him. Many of them he doesn’t let people see. I understand why he doesn’t do more than dinners with women or invite them to this sacred holiday. If they saw even a fraction of what I have this week, they’d never let him go.

When I round the corner into the main room, Luca is standing at the kitchen island. Still in his jeans and cashmere sweater, he plates what looks like some kind of pasta.

“Is there any of that left over for me?”

He looks up, and I’m struck by the little smirk on his lips and the way his blue eyes shine with a hint of mischief.

“This is for you. I wasn’t sure when you were going to wake up, but I wanted to make sure you had food when you did.”

“Oh.” My shock slips free. I can’t remember the last time I had a man cook for me. Like really cook for me. Not like Bash offering me breakfast he was already going to make anyway, but having the foresight to make sure I’m fed.

It’s a nice feeling.

I cross over the tiny living room to the kitchen and slide onto the barstool.

“What is it?”

Luca slides the plate in front of me and turns to grab a fork. “Chicken tequila fettuccine with roasted peppers.”

“And you made this?”

“Don’t act so surprised. I might have grown up as a pretentious douche, but I really like to eat. So once I was on my own, I forced myself to learn a few dishes. Just don’t ask me to cook breakfast. I’ll burn the eggs every time.”

“I think I can handle breakfast.”

“Are you offering?”

“Maybe if you’re lucky.” I wink.

Luca makes a plate for himself and slides onto the stool next to mine. “And what does a guy have to do to get lucky?”

I pick up my fork and twirl the noodles around it. “First, you can tell me where my son is.”

“He’s in the house. Enzo has the monitor and offered to give you the night off.”

“He might be in the running for favorite twin.”

Luca lifts a brow in surprise, his posture straightening. “Not the twin whose name you were screaming mere hours ago?”

I pause, my fork halfway to my mouth, as I shrug playfully. “I’ll admit he’s unforgettable.”

“I’ll take it…for now.”

His words silently suggest I’m going to pay for my comment, and excitement courses through me.

I finally take a bite and the moment it touches my tongue, I let out a long, low moan.

Tangy yet savory, it’s quite possibly the best pasta I’ve ever tasted.

He sucks in an audible breath. “Keep doing that and I’ll forget that you need to eat before I wreck that little body of yours.”

My eyes go wide, and I can’t help but clench my thighs.

Luca tracks the movement and groans. “For fuck’s sake. Eat, Leigh.”

A laugh bubbles out of me, and I relish in the ease we’ve found with one another.

As we continue to eat, the conversation flows like the wine he pours us. He tells me about the Monarchs’ team line up for next season, and I tell him about my plans for Renegade Hearts. He laughs when I tell him about the smutty book club I have with Willow and Indie, claiming that’s where my dirty mouth must have come from, and I cackle when he tells me about the time Holt and Bash convinced him to run naked through the streets of Monaco during a rainstorm.

By the time we’re both done, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. It’s been so long since I’ve gotten the chance to just be me. Not Zach’s mom. Not Willow’s partner. Just Leigh. And Luca makes it effortless. His wit and sarcasm are on par with my own, and he doesn’t fault me for finding the logic in every situation. But most of all, he calls me on my bullshit the same way I do him.

I never imagined it could be this way between us.

It’s both exciting and terrifying.

It’s late when Luca reaches over and intertwines his fingers with mine, sending my heart into a thunderous fit in my chest.

“I really want to kiss you again,” he admits, his gaze falling to my lips.

I counter with a flirtatious smile. “I really want to do more than kiss you.”

“Fuck,” he groans, covering his eyes with his free hand. “I want that too.”

It sounds like there’s a follow-up.A “but” that is going to ruin this peaceful moment.

“But before I can do all the things I want with you tonight”—he lifts my hand and presses a kiss to my knuckles—“I need to tell you everything.”

His eyes meet mine and I’m not surprised to see the vulnerability in his blue depths. Luca is nothing if not thorough. He and his best friends might be complete frat boys, but they are honest in a way that is undeniably noble. You want to hate them for it, but you can’t.

“Okay.” I nod, leaning back on the barstool.

He needs this.

We need this.

I slide our hands to my lap, cupping my free hand over them. “Tell me your story.”

Luca inhales a steadying breath, and I give a reassuring squeeze before he starts.

“Family has always been the most important thing to me. Probably because mine was such a damn farce.”

“The Donatis? A farce?” I feign disbelief, lifting my free hand to clutch my imaginary pearls. “I don’t believe it.”

“I know. Who would have thought? But it’s true, the golden family of Shady Grove is anything but. Especially back when your family came to town.”

I still in confusion. “Mine?”

His mouth twitches and I’d bet money he’s biting his cheek. “Your dad challenged the way things were done in town. He might not have been in the hotel business like the Donatis, but he was new money coming into a well-oiled machine he knew nothing about. Everyone loved him, and therefore everyone loved you and your mom too.”

“You didn’t,” I sneer, remembering the way he used to scrunch up his nose in disgust.

“Oh, that’s where you’re wrong, Little Thief.”

“I hate that you call me that still.”

“You do?”

“Yes, and no.” I pause, trying to find the right explanation. “While it’s incredibly sexy when we’ve lost our minds and our clothes, it reminds me of what you did, and I’m not sure that’s what I want to remember now.”

He huffs a laugh, but I don’t follow what's so funny. “Do you want to know why I call you that?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Because you framed me for stealing your mother’s locket.”

“I did.” He nods, wearing a cheshire grin. “But that’s not why I call you that.”

My eyes flash with confusion. “Then why?”

“Because while you may not have stolen the locket, you stole a part of me when you came to town.”

“What?” My voice is a broken whisper.

“Do you remember the first time we met?”

I shake my head. “No.”

“You came over for my sister’s fifteenth birthday. It was the first week of summer and I was annoyed I had to stick around to celebrate with ten boy crazed teenage girls. I was in the kitchen after a morning run and you ran straight into me trying to find some of—what did you call it—the magical bean water?”

My mouth drops open as I recall the moment. He was gorgeous even back then. All the girls at that party wanted him and Enzo. I was just happy to be included. Going away to boarding school with Willow and Indie, I didn’t know many of the girls in Shady Grove. Luca’s sister was my first and only friend in town.

“I can’t believe you remember that?”

His smile grows impossibly wider. “Down to the pink panda pajamas you were wearing.”

“You must have been what—nineteen?”

He nods. “It was the last summer Enzo and I spent at home.”

“Why?”

“I’ll get to that,” he promises, running his thumb along my forefinger. “That morning you bestowed upon me the gift of what I found out later was referred to as Leigh’s Story Time. Apparently, you wouldn’t shut up about your family or how amazing they were.”

My stomach sinks. “They were.”

“You don’t talk about them much anymore.”

“It hurts to.” As much as I want to pretend it doesn’t, it does. I’ve made peace with their deaths, but I don’t think it will ever hurt not to think about them and all the things I’ll never get to do with them.

“I’m sorry.” He gives my hand a squeeze and I glance up. “That morning you told me about how you started drinking coffee just so you could share twenty minutes alone with your mom in the morning before your dad would wake up. You loved talking about the day ahead with her.”

Tears prick the corners of my eyes, and my gaze falls to the bracelet Luca bought me at the Christmas market.

“You knew when you bought this?”

I loved those mornings with my mom. There isn’t a morning that goes by that I don’t wish she was there with me, doing her crossword puzzles, ready to hand out sound advice or just listen to me talk.

He nods solemnly, not a hint of playfulness in his expression.

“I—I don’t know what to say. How does any of this add up to stealing a part of you?”

“Because I was jealous,” Luca rasps, pulling his hand from mine. He runs it through his silky black hair and sighs. “So fucking jealous.”

“Of me?”

He nods again and I swear there are tears in his eyes too. “You have to understand, my parents didn’t believe in anything but preserving the Donati name. That was their full-time job. We didn’t get moments like that. We got nannies and tutors, impersonal birthday gifts and, if we were lucky, a hug on Christmas. I always had a little more than that because I had a twin to hold on to, but that morning you showed me what a family could be. And I wanted it.”

Luca looks away, shaking his head over and over, and my heart breaks for him.

I reach for his hand, but he snatches it back.

“The rest of that summer, I listened to my mother and father complain about your dad getting involved in Shady Grove, but mostly I watched you. I listened to you tell my sister stories of your adventures with your mom and dad. I watched you at all the fundraisers, carefree and twirling in your beautiful summer dresses, dancing with your father. I became obsessed, but also so fucking angry that I’d never know what it was like to be loved by a parent like that.”

“God, Luca, I’m sorry,” I whisper.

Luca huffs a laugh. “Why are you apologizing? You did absolutely nothing wrong.”

“No, I didn’t, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hate the shitty behavior of your parents.”

“Oh, it gets worse.” He spits out like venom, but it’s not directed at me.

“Go on.”

“My parents decided something needed to be done to take your family down a peg, and they knew they couldn’t touch your father. Shady Grove loved him too much.”

“So you went after me,” I conclude, my voice nothing more than a shattered whimper.

“Fuck, Leigh.” Luca takes my hands in his, desperation radiating from his strong grip. “Please look at me.”

I drag my gaze to meet his, praying he doesn’t see the hatred in my eyes and mistake it for being directed at him. Because while he may have been the one who pulled the trigger, he didn’t aim the gun. His parents did.

Luca brings our hands to his lips and presses a kiss to my palm. “I’m not proud of what I did. I just—I thought if I did something to help, my parents would finally see me. Maybe they would invite me to the adult table and trust me with family affairs. I just wanted to be more than the son they could advantageously marry off.”

“Were they proud of you?” I ask, needing a silver lining to make it all worth it. “After you framed me.”

“For a time.” He pauses. “Then Enzo and I were drafted.”

“For the majors?”

He nods. “Our parents didn’t even know we’d been scouted. They never showed up to a single game. Baseball wasn’t one of their approved activities since it didn’t benefit us when it came to following in their footsteps and taking a role in the family business.”

“But you didn’t do any of that.”

“No. When Enzo declared he had no desire to play major league ball, I opted out, too, and convinced everyone I wanted to play college ball, so I’d have a degree to fall back on. The two of us went on to play at Stonewall, much to our parent’s dismay.”

“Which is where you met Holt, Bash, and Jack.”

“Exactly.” He exhales a dry laugh. “And I’m grateful every day we did.”

“I feel like I’m still missing a piece of the puzzle. Yesterday you said you didn’t go home for Christmas that year, and I vaguely remember there being a stir up around that time over you and Enzo, but I was already the black sheep in town, so our family didn’t hear much.”

Luca frowns, and there’s nothing soft about the way he grits out between his teeth, “That would be right about when our family disowned us.”

“What!” I jerk back, my anger rising for him. “How the hell did we miss that?”

He waves his hand mockingly with a fairy godmother flair. “Because, to my mother, appearances are everything.”

God, what it must have been like to grow up in a house like that. Where everything you did was viewed under a microscope, but ultimately didn’t matter because it wasn’t good enough. Then to be disowned. I can’t even imagine.

“What happened?” I ask, because now I need to know how and why he broke free.

“When we declined the draft, my parents assumed it was because we would be taking over the family business. Enzo had zero desire to run hotels or become a politician and make backdoor deals with every lobbyist from Michigan to DC.”

“And you?”

“Needed to make sure Enzo was set, but still had every intention of entering the draft after college.”

“Let me guess, your parents were not happy about that.”

“Smart girl,” he says, tipping his head at me. “My parents proceeded to pull out every stop—from bribes to blackmail—but my stubborn ass twin wouldn’t budge. It even got to the point where they agreed toallow me to play baseball if I could get my brother to come back to Shady Grove and keep with their perfect little plan.”

“A stupid plan, really. Even I know you would never betray your brother like that.”

“Exactly.” He nods in agreement. “And at that point, we already had Jack and the guys, and we were beginning to see what a family you choose could look like.”

“But you still want your family.”

He ignores my question, but I don’t need an answer.I can see it plain on his face when he talks about them. He’s been hurt and betrayed by them, but this man has all the loyalty of a golden retriever. If Enzo said he wanted to go back to Shady Grove, Luca would be the bridge. He can’t help it.

“Leigh.” He waits until my eyes meet his and continues.“I am so sorry for what I did to you and all the pain I caused. I was stupid and reckless, and you didn’t deserve any of it. I know you don’t trust me. I wouldn’t trust me either, but fuck, I hope someday you can learn to. Because I meant it when I said family is the most important thing to me. And like it or not, you might be a part of that now. I want you to be a part of it.”

Luca offers me a smile, but again his eyes betray him.

He wants it all. His brother and what they’ve built together. The family that disowned him. And me. He’s been chasing this dream since he was nineteen.

It's a dream I know all too well.

Because I’ve been chasing the same thing since my parents died. Latching on to Indie and Willow. Throwing myself into all the events and camps for Renegade Hearts. And, holding on as tightly as I can to Zach.

The question is, do I want to be a part of this? If Zach is his, or even if he isn’t, do I want to explore this?

It’s a simple answer with complicated roots.

Maybe it’s the wine. Or maybe it’s my exhausted heart. But I find myself nodding my head.

“Is that a yes?” There’s hope in his voice, and I can’t be the one to douse it.

Not right now.

Maybe not ever.

Because I do want this . I’m just not sure what this looks like long term.

I reach up and cup his face, running my fingertips down his stubbled jaw. “I don’t know what guarantees I can make, but I can give you my forgiveness, and I can promise you one day at a time.”

“Is that a yes?”

God, how is this man so complicated and so pure at the same time?

I laugh to myself. “Yes, I want this.”

“Oh, thank God,” he sighs and leans in, pressing his lips to mine. “It would have been so awkward to have to head back into the house and jack off in the shower alone.”

“Oh, to be a fly on the wall.”

I press my lips together, as his smile grows. “You want to see me jack off?”

Picking up my glass of wine, I swirl it around, feigning amusement. “I don’t know why men are so surprised by that? You’d love to watch me finger myself.”

He barks a laugh. “Without a doubt.”

“So why is it a shock that I’d want to watch you stroke, what I happen to know, is a cock meant to ruin women?”

“So tell me, Little Thief.” The nickname sends a shiver down my spine. Knowing the meaning, knowing that he sees me not as a thief of trinkets but rather his heart, has me clamoring to hear it over and over. “What is it you want from me?”

“You like asking me that question.”

“I do,” he tells me, hand gripping my thigh under my sleep shorts.“I like when you tell me what to do. I like pleasing you. I also like spanking your ass when you piss me off.”

Images from our night pressed up against the vending machine flash through my mind, and if his smile is any indication, he’s thinking of it too.

This is a new concept for me. And as much as I love reading about men dominating their women, there is something so inherently sexy about the way my directions bring Luca to his knees. I don’t hate it. In fact, I think it might be a part of me that’s always been there I’ve just never explored. Mostly, I just have no idea what I’m doing.

“Don’t think about it too hard.” He slides his hand up and traces the outline of my pussy. “Tell me what you want. I’ll give it to you. Then I’ll take what I need. Balance.”

Balance.

The best of both worlds.

I think I can get behind that.

Straightening my spine, I take a deep breath.

“Strip for me.” I hear myself speak with more confidence than I’ve ever had in the bedroom. My voice a low rasp that is undeniably sexy. “Then I want you to stroke what is mine until you’re so close it hurts, but don’t you dare come. That belongs only to me.”

Luca’s breath hitches, and he digs his nails into my thigh.

It’s sharp and quick, eliciting a low hiss from me.

And then he’s gone, stepping back to follow my orders.

With every move, he keeps his lust-filled eyes locked on mine, and my pussy clenches with need.

God, who am I?

And why am I so fucking turned on?