CHAPTER 28

What day was it? Andwhat time? The light filtering through the edges of the curtains suggested it was daytime, but she couldn’t tell if it was morning or afternoon. The last few days were all a blur in her mind. Had it been two days? Four? Her foggy brain couldn’t make sense of time. But at last, she felt better. Her body didn’t ache, and her head was not pounding as if it was being squeezed in an iron press. She coughed and felt movement on the bed.

She turned towards it, knowing who she would find on the other side of the bed. Even through her febrile deliriums, she knew he had not left her side. Dariux looked at her with a solemn expression. He seemed worried, displeased. But maybe that was just her imagination, or the fact that he had just woken up. She smiled tentatively, trying to ease his expression, but he looked away and rubbed his hands over his face.

“How do you feel?” he rasped, his voice still husky from sleep. The sound curled through her with the warmth of hot tea on a frosty night.

She tried to speak, and it came out as a croak. She cleared her throat and tried again.

“Better. I think I’m on the way to recovery.”

He nodded somberly and jumped out of bed, wearing trousers and a shirt. Had he slept in his clothes? Without looking back, he went to the nearby table, poured a glass of water, and brought it to her.

She drank, the smooth coolness of the water moisturizing her throat and allowing her to speak with ease.

“How many days has it been?”

“This is the fifth day. The fever subsided last night.”

“Wow, almost the entire week has slipped away.”

He shrugged, as if it didn’t matter. He was in a strange mood, but for the life of her, she couldn’t understand why. Shouldn’t he feel relieved she was better? She knew he had been worried about her. In moments of clarity, she had been aware of his constant care. The concern on his face had been evident.

“Is something the matter?” she asked, going for the direct approach. She didn’t have the energy to guess.

He just looked at her with those dark, unfathomable eyes, an undercurrent of emotion she couldn’t name swirling in its depths.

“We can talk about that later. Would you like to take a bath while I order breakfast?”

Now that he mentioned it, embarrassment swamped her. She was a mess. Her hair was stringy and plastered to her head, her nightclothes clung to her body, wet with sweat. She must look a fright. And smell even worse.

“Yes, please.” She sat up in bed and had to pause for a moment to gather her strength. He was by her side, supporting her with his strength before she even got out of bed.

“I’m filling the bathtub. Do you need help bathing?”

There was nothing sexual about the offer. He was talking with the same nonchalance one might use to offer a cup of tea. She shuddered. Not because she could entertain sexual thoughts at the moment, but his chilly indifference cut deep.

“No, I’m fine.”

He nodded and closed the bathing room door. She wasted no time in shedding her rumpled and sweaty nightgown and sinking into the blissfully warm water. After washing her hair, brushing her teeth, and donning a clean nightgown and warm robe, she felt almost normal again.

As she stepped out of the bathroom, the aromas of coffee, bacon, and freshly baked bread greeted her nose and made her stomach rumble. She saw the table by the window was laden with covered dishes and a coffee service. Dariux was already sitting at the table. He gestured to the empty chair.

“Breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

She sat down, trying for the moment to ignore the tension emanating from Dariux. What had she done? She knew that before she fell ill, they had not parted on the best of terms. She had been furious at him for his stubborn rejection of love, but that was an old disagreement. He wouldn’t be acting with such simmering anger over that, would he? But what else could it be? She had been sick and half out of her mind for the past four days. He wouldn’t hold a grudge for something she might have done while hallucinating, would he?

Despite the tastiness of the food, she couldn’t enjoy it. She had to face whatever he had against her head on.

“Would you tell me what the problem is now?”

“Must there be a problem?”

“Judging by your attitude since I woke up, I daresay there is.”

He stared at her for an uncomfortably long moment that made her feel like squirming in her chair.

“Are you sure you are up to this conversation now?”

“I don’t know, Dariux. I have no clue what you have against me, but I know I can’t stand another minute of this silent animosity.”

As an answer, he stood from the chair, went to the dresser, and retrieved something from the top drawer. When he silently placed the small box on the table between them, she understood with no words.

The color leached from her face, and her gaze snapped to his, meeting cold, hard eyes. Oh, God. He was never supposed to find out. She should have thrown out the damn pills. How stupid. How careless of her.

“It is not what you think,” she began, aware it was a lame line.

“Oh? What I think is that you didn’t take the contraceptive pill as we agreed. So we have been having unprotected sex and you could be pregnant right now. Tell me, Kalli, is that not it?”

“Well, yes. But it was not on purpose. I-I forgot. And then it was too late. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry.”

“How considerate of you.” His tone dripped with sarcasm, making her own temper rise.

“You need not worry about it. It was my mistake, and if something comes of it, I will deal with it on my own.”

“The hell you will!” he said, planting his hands on the table and leaning forward with such ferocity that she leaned back, frightened of him for the first time.

“I know you don’t want entanglements. I’m offering you a way out.”

“This is way more than an entanglement, Kalli. And there’s no way out. This could be a lifelong commitment.”

“But it doesn’t need to be. Truly, I can handle it. You don’t need to worry about it.” A bead of sweat ran down her spine. His reaction was so much worse than she had ever imagined it could be.

“You keep saying that. What does that mean, exactly? Am I to forget that I may have helped create a human being? Am I to ignore my own child?” he asked, his voice lethally soft.

“Only if you want to, of course. I didn’t think you would want that sort of responsibility.”

He leaned back again and studied her. “Did you truly forget? Or did you do this on purpose?”

“No! I...” She looked away. Unable to utter a lie. Unable to look him in the eyes.

“Damn you!” He exploded out of the chair and paced the room, looking like a caged lion.

“It is not as simple as that,” she said, scrambling for a way to placate him. “I truly did not do it on purpose. I forgot to take the pill on time. But then... Well, I can’t say I regret it. If, against all odds, I conceive, I would welcome the event. This may be my only chance to have a child.”

He turned and pinned her with a stare. “It is not right to use people for our purposes. I am not a stud.”

“I did not think you were.”

“Did you not? Then why did you keep it from me?” He had come back to lean over the table, crowding her in.

“I told you. I didn’t think you would be happy to know. And there’s nothing to tell yet. I have no reason to think I’m pregnant.”

“But if you later found out that you are, you did not intend to tell me.” It was not a question, but she answered anyway.

“No.”

He nodded, confirming what he already knew. “And you see nothing wrong with that? Don’t you think I have the right to know if I have a child? It’s mine too, Kalli.”

“But you don’t want children. You are not even convinced you want a human relationship.”

“I don’t, if I had the choice. But you took the choice away from me. This is exactly why I don’t trust human relationships. The lies, the conflicts, the manipulations, the unpredictability. Tell you what. As soon as we return to our time, you will take a pregnancy test. And if the results are positive, we will have a talk.”

“What do you intend to do if it turns out I’m pregnant?”

“What do you think? Be a father.”