CHAPTER FIFTEEN

GIDEON

The week after my fuck-up was spent working and drinking at the clubhouse parties, where Lindy remained conspicuously absent. It passed in a blur of no sleep and anger at myself.

I can't believe I'd been stupid enough to think taking Lindy up against the cabin would be okay. A fucking cabin. Where anybody from the club could see.

A decent man would've walked her to her door and left it at that. He wouldn't have forced himself on her like a fucking animal.

The punching bag in front of me swings with another blow from my fist. I thought coming to Alaska's gym might help relieve some of my self-disgust, but so far it isn't working.

Lindy's tear-stained face fills my mind as I punch harder. Christ, I made her cry. My rough fucking hands. My punishing teeth and kisses. They caused her enough pain to cry.

I probably reminded her of her asshole ex.

I hit the bag again, wishing it was my own body getting pummeled.

The pain is nothing less than I deserve for how I treated the girl I fucking adore.

"Timber. Timber!" Alaska avoids a flying fist as he gets in my face. "What's wrong with you? You've been beating the shit out of this thing for over an hour."

I swipe at the sweat on my face. "Move. It's none of your damn business." I sidestep him as I continue my workout.

"The hell it is. If there's something wrong—"

"There's not."

"Then you better figure whatever the hell it is out before you hurt yourself. Your body is shaking like a goddamn leaf right in front of me. Are you sleeping? Eating?"

I don't answer.

Of course, I haven't slept. That's the story of my life. My fuzzy brain tries to remember what I ate last. A bag of chips with whiskey yesterday?

"Shit… What happened with you and Lindy? Faith isn't talking, but I know something went down," he says.

"Leave it," I warn. Escaping his sharp perusal, I stomp away from Alaska without another word, unwrap my hands in the locker room, and grab my phone and wallet. Forget showering. I'm too wired to stay here any longer.

The sweat on my skin cools a little from the breeze outside, and I climb onto my bike before squealing out of the parking lot.

Alaska doesn't need to worry about me.

I'm fine.