Chapter 7

CHAPTER7

Lucifer’s equal in rank and authority inclined her head, the light glinting off the filigree, golden chain adorning her hair. “Zoe.”

I remembered to close my mouth so I wasn’t gaping at her. This wasn’t the first time she’d come to see me in the past few months. For whatever reason, she’d taken an interest in me after my fateful performance at the Fall Festival. I still cringed remembering that.

The first time she’d visited, I’d almost gone into shock. There wasn’t a more high-profile guest in the whole of Hell, except for Lucifer, and from what I heard, neither of them was in the habit of venturing out to meet others much. Most folks came to see them, that was just the way things were.

But Lilith chose to come here, without a large entourage—she often just had one or two demons with her as guards—without any fanfare. She never called in advance, never expected to be wined and dined, wasn’t interested in any of the usual entertainment afforded honored guests.

She just came to see me.

During her first visit, I’d probably been the most awkward version of me ever. I’d been tongue-tied, uncomfortable, anxious, I’d mangled up half a dozen sentences—a new record?—and I even managed to fall out of a chair. I mean, who does that? While sitting down?

Anyway, I’d been sure that was the last I’d seen of her for a millennium after I’d basically acted like a motor-challenged robot trying to pass as human, but to my unending astonishment, she’d come back.

We talked, or rather, she let me talk, about all sorts of things, mainly my life on Earth. She’d ask questions and prod me to tell her stories and anecdotes, and she listened intently, as if soaking it all up like a plant the first drops of rain after a drought.

I’d gotten a bit more comfortable around her, though I was still far from relaxed. Never would I forget that she and Lucifer were an item, that there was a reason she was with the dude who reveled in physical and mental torture. Nor would I ever fail to remember that she sat there and did nothing to help me while Lucifer humiliated me in front of his court.

My disgruntlement over her passive participation in that farce was only tempered by the fact that she had, indeed, intervened on my behalf in the end, stopping Lucifer from crushing my windpipe like a used-up soda can. And it was her pointed reminder to her darling devil that I had saved Naamah’s life and he owed me a favor that actually got me the boons of healing as fast as a demon and being able to summon things.

So, yeah, to say my feelings about Lilith were complicated was an understatement. She was puzzling me. As far as I could tell, her interest in me was genuine, and I didn’t get the impression she was fishing for information. Why would she? From everything I’d heard about Lucifer, he already knew most everything anyway. He’d known a whole fucking lot about me and my life on Earth, so he definitely had sources other than his dearly beloved.

And for some reason, I just didn’t see Lilith playing spy for him.

Also, my human life really wasn’t all that interesting, in the grand scheme of things.

Still, I made sure to keep my trap shut about certain details, like the fact we’d stolen my dad’s soul out of Lucifer’s personal sinner storage and now kept him as a ghost on Earth, protected by Azazel’s demons so he wouldn’t be dragged back to Hell. For all intents and purposes, when talking with Lilith, my dad’s death wasn’t even a blip on my radar, courtesy of the estrangement between us.

She didn’t need to know my dad and I had sort of reconciled after we’d dropped him off on Earth, and that we now had a tentative relationship going with me visiting him every couple of weeks.

“Your grace,” I now said, recalling my manners.

I made an awkward curtsy that probably looked more like a giraffe trying to lie down and forgetting how to do it halfway through.

The sole demon guard standing next to Lilith suppressed a laugh.

And that was when I remembered the slobbered state I was in. Oh God. Of all the people to come visit me when I looked like this…

I grimaced and hopelessly tried to pat myself dry.

“Are you all right?” Lilith asked, her voice honeyed and melodious.

“I got slimed,” I blurted out.

The hint of a smile on her lips. “So I see.”

“My hellhound,” I babbled, pointing at the perpetrator sitting innocently right next to me. “She likes to lick.”

Dear Lord, someone should really stop me from talking. It didn’t agree with me.

Lilith’s gaze fell on Vengeance. She held out a hand. “May I?”

“Sure. Venny, go say hi.”

The monster-sized doggo trotted over to Lilith and sniffed at her hand. Well, two of her heads did. The third tried to lick its own ear.

“She is magnificent.” Lilith scratched the two heads with both hands, her expression warm and indulgent. “She reminds me of my Ruin.”

“Oh, you’ve got a hellhound, too?” Pretty much every high-ranking demon had kennels full of hounds, but some actually kept a few special dogs more as pets than the others.

“Dragon,” Lilith replied, patting Vengeance’s flank.

My eyes widened. She had a pet dragon.

Because of course she did.

“Do you fly her?” The question was out before I could think better.

“I do, actually.” A glint in her eyes. “It is the only way I can come close to having wings.”

Yeah, being bipedal really sucked living among feathered beings who could just take to the skies. Most of the time, the demons kept the wings magicked away out of sight, but they did come in handy for traveling, not just to and on Earth, but here in Hell, too. Flying a dragon was the next best thing to having wings of one’s own when it came to go from one dominion to the other.

As far as I had seen, public transportation was sorely lacking down here.

“So, um, I apologize for my condition.” I waved up and down my body. “I would have taken a shower, but I didn’t want to make you wait.”

“No worries. Please feel free to clean yourself. I do not mind.”

“Oh,” I stammered. “Okay. If you’re sure… I’ll make it quick.”

I bowed deep and then hightailed it out of the room with Vengeance on my heels. After the quickest shower ever, I slipped into fresh clothes and raced back to the room, finding Lilith perched on a divan with her demon guard standing at attention behind her.

Every inch of her looked so regal. The way she held herself, her measured movements, as if she’d come into this world poured into the original mold of what an empress should look like.

And yet, for all the power she wielded, despite the hum of energy around her that spoke of a force that had long ceased to be human, she almost felt…sad. It was in every breath she took, settled into her skin like a patina of melancholy.

I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. “Would you like to watch a movie?”

Surprise flickered in her age-old eyes. “A movie?”

Jeez, I didn’t even know if she’d ever seen one—from what I’d gathered, she hadn’t really been visiting Earth in quite a long time, which might be part of why she was so fascinated by me. I guess I was the first human she’d interacted with in thousands of years.

No pressure, or anything.

“Uh…you know.” I rubbed my nose. “Um, moving pictures? Like, on a screen?”

She tilted her head. “I’d like that.”

I released the breath I’d been holding. “Okay, great. Please follow me.”

Technology in Hell was…complicated. It wasn’t that we didn’t have electricity—we did, although in a rudimentary way, and apparently generated by torturing sinners, which was the go-to for energy production down here. When I’d heard that, I’d puked up my guts, the thought of someone’s suffering powering the gadgets I’d been using souring my stomach.

Azazel—bless his heart—had found alternative ways to source the energy necessary for producing electricity, among them letting hellhounds run in huge wheels—they genuinely loved to run for hours without being fazed at all—and setting up large wind turbines on nearby hills. It was enough to cover what little electricity I needed.

The real problem was even getting modern technology down here. Demons could carry whatever would fit through a hellgate, of course, and they did it often enough. But Lucifer apparently loathed a lot of human inventions of the last two centuries and had put in place an embargo on most modern tech stuff. Now, if a demon wanted a TV, for example, they’d have to apply for an import permit.

Yep, no joke, they had to petition the authorities to be allowed technological luxuries from abroad. It all felt very Soviet to me.

In fact, there was a thriving black market for smuggled tech from Earth. Some opportunistic and risk-happy demons had made a fortune trading in unsanctioned technology. I still giggled every time I imagined dark deals going down in backrooms over a Playstation console.

Of course, if those demons got caught, they ended up decorating Lucifer’s subfloor.

Which was why Azazel had pulled some strings in order to officially procure a TV and DVD/Blu-ray player combo for me, so I could watch old favorites and even stay up to date on newer releases. Every time I thought I couldn’t love him more, he’d come up with a new reason for me to adore the fuck out of him.

I now led Lilith, consort to the dude who despised modern technology, trailed by her demon guard, to our home theater featuring a huge HD screen in front of a comfy couch, and watched her eyes grow as wide as saucers as I turned it all on.

I’d never seen Lilith star-struck.

Her mouth hanging open, she slowly sank down on the couch, eyes riveted on the screen as the DVD began to play.

“I never knew this existed,” she whispered.

Oh, honey.My chest tightened as I looked at her. “It’s one of the better inventions we’ve come up with in the past century.” I bit my lip, the remote dangling from my hand as I considered whether I should ask. “So, I take it you haven’t been to Earth since this…” I gestured at the TV.

Her delicate brows drew together. “It has been so long…I don’t quite remember when I last traveled to Earth.” She shook her head. “Long before this, though. I’d have remembered this.”

I hid my grimace and summoned a bunch of snacks onto the low table while Lilith ordered her guard to wait outside. No movie for him, I guess. Knowing that Vengeance was prone to snoring loud enough to overlay the TV’s volume, I sent her outside to keep the poor guard company, then I settled onto the couch as the movie started.

For the first ever film that Lilith would watch, I’d opted for the 2005 version of Pride and Prejudice. For one thing, because of the Hand Flex. I mean, come on, it’s the bomb.

More importantly, though, a period film from an era before modern inventions radically changed the world might be the easiest for Lilith to digest, given that some of the pre-modern stuff in it could be a bit familiar to her.

I’d jump in and explain a few things here and there, but mostly, I just let her enjoy it. Munching on my snacks, I furtively watched her watch the movie, and at the Hand Flex, she raised a brow and pursed her lips. Ha!

When the credits rolled over the screen, she sighed deeply.

“That was lovely,” she said, a wistful note in her voice. “I take it Earth doesn’t much look like this anymore?”

“Uh, no, not really. A lot has changed. Lots of technology everywhere. I mean, there are parts that are still quaint, but those are more remote.” I hesitated, chewing my lip again, then I asked quietly, “Why haven’t you been to Earth in all this time?”

Lilith was silent for so long, I started to fidget.

“I’m sorry,” I said quickly and stood up. “You don’t need to answer. I didn’t mean to pry.”

“He can’t go.”

Her soft reply made me stop gathering the snack bowls from the table. I glanced at her. Eyes distant, she stared at the black screen.

“The deal he made to keep me,” she went on, “says he may never set foot on Earth again.”

I stiffened as I realized she was talking about Lucifer. This was the first time ever that she’d mentioned him.

“And he hasn’t,” she continued. “In all the millennia, he has stayed in Hell to honor the agreement.” Her lashes lowered over her luminous light brown eyes. “I’m free to go, and at first, I did. But over time…it didn’t feel right, that I should enjoy something he deprived himself of for my sake. He never said anything. He’d never keep me from going. But I could see it in his eyes. The longing. He would, you know.” Here, her gaze met mine, a striking connection. “He would go in a heartbeat, if he were allowed.”

Dumbfounded, I sank back onto the couch. This was the most she’d ever spoken to me in one go, and way more information about her and Lucifer than I ever thought I’d get.

Lilith lowered her gaze. “So I stopped going, after some time. It seemed almost frivolous. But it also…” She made a pause, her power humming softly in the air. “It becomes difficult, at some point, to visit a world you are no longer part of, will never be part of again. The disconnect grows sharper with the centuries, when you watch those you once belonged with build civilizations far beyond your imagining. When you realize you will forever be on the outside, looking in, not one of them anymore.” Another pause, then, quietly, “It can be painful.”

God, I felt that pain. I felt it as if it were my own…because one day, it just might be.

I’d walk the same path as her, wouldn’t I? With the difference that my beloved demon was allowed to go to Earth, but I could well imagine the disconnect she spoke of coming to haunt me in the future. It already felt strange to visit Earth when no one could see me, when I couldn’t smell or touch or feel anything. Being a ghost really sucked.

“Staying in Hell,” Lilith said, yanking me from my thoughts, “also meant I grew faster into the power needed to thrive down here.”

At that, I sat up straighter. Little was known officially about Lilith’s inherent power level. Her status and rank had long been established by Lucifer’s brutal authority, his power basically covering for her human weakness. I could sense it, though, her innate energy that didn’t feel much different than that of a Fallen—even though she wasn’t truly a demon.

Rumor had it, she’d simply become something else.

Maybe some of Hell’s power had seeped into her over thousands of years, like water trickling into cracks of barren earth.

“Still,” she said in her molasses-smooth voice, “it took a long time. A long time of being something in between, neither here nor there. Not quite human anymore, but too human to truly fit in here.”

Her warm, topaz-colored eyes met mine, and I twitched from the direct connection, the strength that lay within.

“You have been kind,” she said softly. “I had almost forgotten what it is to be kind.”

Yikes. What had her life here been like for her to forget something like that? My thoughts veered to Lucifer and the demons at his court, and I remembered the stories Azazel had told me of the cruelty rampant in that palace. Yeah, I guess it would be hard to keep a core of kindness when surrounded by that bunch.

“I like you,” Lilith continued, pulling my attention back to her. “You remind me of myself, when I first came here. And for that reason, I do not wish to see you struggle as I did. Maybe this will help ease your path.”

“What?” I whispered.

She closed her eyes and brought her hand up to her chest, laying it over the silky fabric of her orange-hued dress. The hum of her energy swelled to a vibration that shook the room.

“What are you do—”

My question ended in a shriek when she plunged her hand right into her chest. I jumped up from the couch again, my hand covering my mouth.

Through fabric, skin and muscle, she tore in one lightning-fast strike. She barely jerked at the self-inflicted wound, her eyes still closed. With her hand buried up to her wrist in her chest, she stilled, her brow wrinkling in concentration. Blood drenched the edges of her dress around the tear, slowly spreading larger. Small wiggles of her arm indicated she was moving her hand or fingers inside herself.

My stomach wanted to crawl up my throat.

She made a sharp movement, grunted, and then a soft smile came over her face. When she opened her eyes to look at me, they glowed brightly from within while her power pulsed in the air. She withdrew her bloodied hand, her fingers curled into a fist, as if holding something within.

I gaped at the gaping hole in her chest. My heartbeat pounded in my ears, all the blood rushing from my head, making me dizzy. With my knees wobbling precariously, I grabbed the back of the couch for purchase. I could see right into her. Right to her organs…her heart, maybe? Or her lungs? It was all a bloody mess.

“Here,” she said, and rose from her seat.

“What?” I squeaked.

“It will hurt only a little. I will make it quick.”

“Wait—”

But the next second, she’d already grasped my shoulder with one hand and rammed the other—the bloody one holding God knew what—straight into my chest.

The world went white with pain. All breath punched out of me, I jerked, held in place by Lilith’s strong grip. A terrible tearing sensation shot out from my chest while I uselessly gasped for air, twitching and flailing. I tasted blood on my tongue.

Pain. So much pain.

I couldn’t even see.

But the worst part was the very clear feeling of a foreign object right there within me, Lilith’s hand rooting through flesh and blood until—

Something connected with my innermost self. A bright spark of power touching my very soul, that place I went to when I visualized my spirit form leaving my body to go travel to Earth.

My entire being trembled. Quakes that rattled my bones shook my body as my spiritual core throbbed and pulsed, everything brightening in a flash of pure power.

I blinked to clear my vision, the shooting pain in my chest hazing my thoughts. When I could see again, I stared at Lilith leaning over me with a beatific smile on her face, sprinkles of blood dotting her nose and cheeks like gruesome freckles.

My lungs burned, my heart thumped furiously, each beat making me cringe with agony. I could feel my chest and my insides painfully knitting back together, thanks to my demon-fast healing.

I tried to speak and found my lungs unable to draw in enough air. All I got out was a helpless croak as I lay there on the couch like a broken doll.

“Do not worry,” Lilith said, completely unbothered by the fact she’d just played whack-a-mole with her chest and mine. “I simply gave you a gift.” She laid one hand over her breastbone, over her own newly healed skin. Her body was a lot faster at putting itself together than mine. “A kernel of my power, from me to you. May it give you strength well before your years.”

Again, I tried to say something, but it came out as a wet gurgle. Something warm trickled out of the corner of my mouth, and I realized it was my own blood.

“It will all be fine,” she said, stroking a strand of hair out of my face. She tilted her head. “I have not done this before, but I’m sure it will be fine.”

My panic must have shown in my expression because she smiled in what I guessed should be a reassuring way. Of course, in my current mental state, that sailed right past my ability to take in.

“You should sleep now, so you can recover. Goodbye, Zoe.”

And before I could croak and gurgle some more, she leaned in and kissed me on the forehead.

Everything went dark.