Chapter 33

"Surprise!"

The gathered family, with Orin at my back and Hollis, Thea, Quill, Paesha, and Elowen before me, had been scheming. And when they yelled, my first instinct was to reach for a weapon. I hated that twisted side of my mind.

"Happy birthday," Orin rumbled into my ear, his palm burning an invisible mark onto the small of my back.

A birthday was a pressing reminder of our eventual mortality and release from this world. Some celebrated with gifts and pleasantries as they could, but most said nothing, did nothing, preferring to closely guard every second of their one hundred years. Knowing that you would die on your one-hundredth year felt like sand in an hourglass, slowly ticking by, to people who had true happiness in this world. But to the rest of us, we'd begun the countdown for a different reason. Anticipation and not fear.

It wouldn't be hard to figure out my birthday. As a princess, my birth was supposed to be a day of celebration in Perth, but the banners had been covered in black, the flags withdrawn, and the note pinned to the gate of my father's castle announced my mother's tragic death. My birthday had never been one of jubilation. Only mourning. Only bitterness in a cold castle when every servant and every court member had been sent home. Hallowed halls and fasting. That was how my birthday was spent.

I shook my head, trying to make sense of it all until I remembered a conversation with Quill right after I'd come. "You betrayed me, kid."

"It was a good plan, huh, Paesha?"

The Huntress mussed the little girl's hair. "Sure, it was."

"I made you this." Quill stepped forward, handing me a rolled piece of paper. "And Elowen got me the paper and the paints, so it's from both of us."

Unrolling the parchment, I couldn't help the warmth that spread through me, the heart-wrenching sweetness at her depiction of the group, me included. Orin and I stood together in her painting, and she'd been so meticulous about including the small dagger on my thigh. Everyone was there. Hollis, with either a sword or a massive needle, it was hard to tell, though the needle made more sense. Althea, with a big heart drawn onto her chest and a smile on her pretty face, Paesha, drawn in feathers as if she were dancing, and she'd drawn herself holding Boo's paw while Elowen held a birthday cake.

"It's incredible. Thank you." I swallowed the lump in my throat, wishing I could dart up the stairs as I spiraled into a place that knew I didn't really deserve this kind of love. But equally, I wanted to take this moment and freeze it, holding it tenderly for as long as I could. Because, though Requiem was so, so broken, in our own way, we were not. And maybe I truly did belong here.

"Don't cry, or I'm going to cry," Althea said, stepping away from the stairs as she held out something rolled in brown paper.

"Really, you don't need to go through the trouble."

"This is an honor, Dey."

Opening the package as everyone stood in a circle watching me, I worried that whatever may be inside, I wouldn't have the reaction they expected, and they'd be disappointed. But when I peeled back the final layer and stared down at the dagger in my hand, I nearly stumbled.

"Thea…" I forced a breath into my lungs to steady my racing heart. "Gods, Thea."

She bounced on her toes again. "It's a twin to Chaos. But I like to think of her as a counterpart. The curves in the handles are opposite, so one for right, and one for left. I matched the design as closely as I could, and Elowen picked the ruby. I was hoping you would call her Serenity. Because they are day and night. Darkness and light. Chaos and Serenity."

Elowen had been standing at the door with hands clasped to her chest and small tears in her eyes. "I hope you like it."

I didn't have words at all. There wasn't a word in our language that would convey the gratitude. And it wasn't about the blade, though it was a masterpiece. It was the gesture. The knot in my throat grew larger, my nose tingling as I struggled for breath, hoping to hide the tears that made me weak.

Drawing in a steady breath, I thanked Elowen and Althea, but when they moved in to hug me, I turned rigid. Awkward and unable to convey anything that I was feeling. They were warm, and I was cold, and that's the way all of these weeks between us had been. But neither had faltered in their kindness. Not when I was sneaking around the house because I didn't think they would give me answers, nor when I was angry and defiant. They were kind. And I was not worthy.

"My turn," the frail voice of the old man in the back said, bringing a large package out from behind his back.

I moved to stand before him, knowing that at any moment I was going to fall apart, and I'd have to run. But measured movements and his steady, calming gaze held me in the moment as I tugged the laces on his gift and let the paper fall away.

"It will fit you perfectly," he promised as I pulled the black clothing from his hands, holding the leather to my chest. "I've reinforced your pockets for blade tips and made the fabric more breathable. It's darker than your other outfits, as well. I've been experimenting with a dye that will keep you hidden."

I didn't understand how they could all give me things that would help me be the monster they'd once hated me for. The tears were genuine and the pounding in my chest, deafening. "Thank you," I managed.

"I tried to tell him the dye was unnecessary, but he didn't listen," Paesha said. "You've got that shadow thing down."

Orin cleared his throat.

"I didn't say it wasn't a nice gift," she said, tossing me another parcel. "Mine's just better."

"Technically, I had a hand in that one also," Hollis said, a lightness to his voice I wished I could bottle and keep forever.

"Fair," she countered. "But maybe don't open that one in front of the kid."

Drawing back, I pinned her with a questioning gaze. She lifted a shoulder and moved toward the kitchen. "You'll see."

"I wish I could find the words to thank you all. They just don't exist."

"We know," Quill answered, setting Boo on the floor. "Can we have cake now?"

"Dinner first," Elowen ordered, pushing her to follow Paesha.

"Come with me," Orin whispered over my shoulder as the others shuffled into the kitchen, his smoky voice walking down my spine, stealing my breath.

He took the pile of gifts and set them on the couch before holding out a hand. I let my eyes trail down the gap where his shirt wasn't fully buttoned, the blush heating my skin as I searched for those dark veins and found nothing but his knowing stare.

"When you're done gawking…"

I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't gawking. Just wondering why you haven't had that missing button replaced on your shirt."

He shifted close, pinning me against the wall. "Do you always blush when you lie, Nightmare?"

"Wouldn't that be so convenient for you?"

He smiled and snatched my hand, spinning away. As he led me up the flights of stairs in the patchwork house, I fought the lingering sadness in my heart. It must have been sadness, because why else would I want to break down and cry? But I understood none of it. They'd been so kind. So genuine.

And in that moment, I wished I could have spoken to Ro. I wish I'd had the courage to step into a mirror and hug her and apologize for being so angry with her for only giving part of herself to me. I understood it now. Because as much as I cared for the people in this house, they would never have all of me either. I was still a warrior. Still a harbinger, and I wanted to always shield them from the darkest parts of me. And maybe that's what Ro had been doing, as well.

When Orin pushed open the door to the rooftop, I nearly fell over. The rare, evening sun bathed the rooftop in a warm hue, and the elegant silhouette of a cello stood proudly against the chimney, its polished wood and graceful curves adding an air of sophistication to the picnic set directly in the middle of the space.

"Will you take your evening meal with me, Wife?"

I pushed beyond the emotions, relying on sarcasm to see me through these foreign, tender moments. "So formal, Husband."

His broad smile as he bowed at the waist made my heart skip a beat. "I aim to please."

"I think you aim to flatter. We've discussed this."

He moved to stand before me, resting his hands on my arms. "How am I doing on that front?"

"Marginal."

His laugh was contagious, though the demon within me still told me he was not to be trusted. Trust no one. Rely on no one. I was the only person I could ever truly count on. And his nefarious boss was still very much a problem. All of this could be a ruse. A game to trap me, as Drexel had tried to do my entire life.

"Are you ready for your gift, Nightmare?"

Forcing the smile to smother the negative thoughts, I nodded. "You really didn't have to go through the trouble."

Again, he laughed, pressing his forehead to mine. "Paesha threatened to chop my balls off if I didn't play nicely today. And with her, those are never empty threats. So, I wrote this song for you."

He spun me around. I glanced over the rooftop as he counted the balusters before pulling me sideways, into his perfect position. "Stand here."

Sitting behind his gleaming cello, he rolled his sleeves with careful precision, baring the twin bands on his arm before he began. He drew the bow across the strings, and the air was suddenly filled with a haunting melody that seemed to caress every corner of my soul. The first notes resonated through the open space, carrying an ache and longing that reached deep, punctuating the feelings the day had already wrought. It was as if the cello was an extension of Orin's very being, an instrument he used, a tool to pour out his heart.

Thick lashes fell to his cheeks as he closed those beautifully darkening eyes and let himself fall into a cocoon of sound that transcended the physical realm. Each note was like a brushstroke on an invisible canvas, painting a vivid picture of emotions that I had buried within. Memories, dreams, and unspoken desires surged to life, given form by the gentle touch of his fingers on the strings.

As the melody unfolded, I felt myself swaying to its rhythm, my heart dancing in time with its cadence. Tears welled in my eyes, a bittersweet mixture of joy and sorrow spilling over. The cello's lament spoke to every hidden thought, every buried feeling I had ever harbored. To the nightmare. He had unlocked the door to my heart, allowing the floodgates of emotion to burst open, and that was Orin Faber's true power. The ability to pour so much into something he loved, there could be no question of his raw talent.

Unable to bear the weight of the moment, I sank to my knees. The rooftop seemed to vanish, and I was suspended in a world where only the music, the man, and I existed. The notes cascaded over me like a waterfall of sound, washing away my inhibitions and leaving me raw, vulnerable, and utterly alive, but walking the very fine line of heartache.

I knew the danger here. What it meant to allow anyone close to me. But I equally wanted that so much, my very soul cried out for it. I wept, tears streaming down my cheeks unchecked, as the cello's melody continued to unravel the tapestry of my existence. It was a catharsis, a release of all that I had held tightly within me for so long. The beautiful man on the rooftop, his fingers moving with a grace that seemed to defy gravity, was a conduit for the symphony of my heart.

I was in so, so much trouble.

When the song ended on a long, mournful note, I kept my face buried in my hands. But Orin sat beside me, taking a long, deep breath before pulling me to his chest, wrapping me in his arms until the rest of the world was merely a memory and remained silent. Until the tears dried, my mind quieted, and only he and I remained.

"Why did you cry, Deyanira?"

"Should you ever play that song, and it falls on hardened ears, just know that your audience has no soul, Husband."

He rubbed my back. "That could never happen. The song belongs to you now."