24. Brixton

Chapter 24

Brixton

I watch James strum the notes on the new guitar I got him last week. Kid actually looks happy, so different from the first day I met him. His eyes are bright, there’s a perpetual smile on his face from the second he walks into Play It Forward every day after school.

And I’m always here waiting.

It’s weird that a couple of guys like us who haven’t got much in the athletic department can find comfort in this place.

I’ve been surrounded by such thick iron walls since Davis died, and because of this place…and because of Sam, if I’m being honest…I’ve started to let my guard down.

Almost on instinct, I narrow my eyes at the entrance to the ice rink where Sam and Jack stand, smiling and whispering to each other.

Fuckups. Jesus, the list is so damn long.

Life is all about choices, and I’ve made some pretty spectacularly bad ones lately.

But I guess this is part of my penance.

Crossing paths with James, I think it’s just what I needed .

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like myself, not the front man I’m paid to be. I can relax. I don’t have to be “on” all the time. People aren’t watching and judging me. I made some mistakes but nobody is holding them against me. At least, nobody here is. Everyone at the center has troubles and they support each other, sometimes with just a smile or wave.

Makes me feel less alone since I basically fucked over my best friend and bandmates.

Not even Ben wants to deal with me right now.

And Sam…

I tear my eyes away and focus on James again.

He was smart. Went for the safer choice. The one who’s not an emotional roller coaster, even though said roller coaster is trying hard to reform himself.

Yes, shitting the bed is an understatement for what I did to my life over the past week.

I’m tired of being a dick who doesn’t want to let anyone in. It hurts. And it’s fucking lonely. But I’ve got a long way to go. Lots of fences to mend or whatever the hell they say.

I sit back in the chair with a sigh and take a quick look around after adjusting James’s fingers on the strings.

Davis would have loved this place. He did a lot of volunteering with troubled kids when he moved up here. I guess being a lawyer, he needed to balance shit out and find a way to do good while sucking the life out of corporate clients.

Sam reminds me of Davis in that way. The giving of himself, not the sucking.

Although…fuck, that was good.

James finishes the intro to one of our most popular songs and I clap. “We might need to replace Aiden with you soon.”

He beams like a ray of sunshine. “You really think it’s good? I’ve been practicing every day. ”

“It’s fabulous, man. And after only a week?” I lean forward to clap him on the shoulder. “You’re a natural. Keep it up.”

“You’re a great teacher, too.” James adjusts his glasses and stares at the door, the smile fading from his face.

A quick glance over my shoulder confirms his dad is here to pick him up. I force myself to look away before he catches my fiery glare.

How the fuck could he treat his own son?—?

But I stop my mind from screaming out the question because I’ve been asking it for years without any hope for an answer.

Some things are beyond our control and we have to accept what we can’t change.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow?”

James nods, shuffling his feet as he adjusts his backpack. “I was wondering, how long are you going to be here for? I mean, you don’t live around here, right?”

“Don’t worry about that. I’m gonna stick around until you learn that whole song, okay?”

I ruffle his hair and grin at him as I hand him the guitar case.

It takes everything in me to not tackle his asshole father and beat him with the case. Clenching and unclenching my fingers, I watch James run toward his dad and his dad barely giving him a look before doing an about-face toward the door.

At least he came inside today.

The past few days he’s just waited outside with that pinched, disgusted look on his face. Christ, I wanna smack that look off so badly.

Just as James and his dad walk out the door, my stomach free-falls into my sneakers.

Chase Hartley, dressed in what looks like hospital scrubs, walks in. He’s like the mayor, waving and calling out to a lot of the kids by name. Even Sofia waves at him like he’s a rock star.

I want to run, but my feet are rooted to the shiny hardwood floor. That same sense of dread from our first meeting washes over me, the air circling my head thick and heavy.

Our eyes meet and Chase lifts his hand in a tentative wave.

No shocker there since I was such a mess the first time we ran into each other.

My heart leaps into my throat, bouncing back and forth against it like a pinball.

He stops a few inches from where I stand staring at him.

Then that million-dollar smile is back.

When he holds out his hand, I take it, managing a smile of my own.

And I swear I feel an eruption of tingles shoot up my arm.

The good kind.

The comforting kind.

I blow out a breath.

I’m okay.

“I’m sorry I took off on you the other day,” I blurt out. “I was surprised…and upset…and, yeah, surprised. I’d just found out recently that you got my brother’s heart. It was kind of a shock to find out and then see you all within forty-eight hours. I didn’t know what to do or say.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Not really sure now, either.”

“It’s all good, man. I’m really glad to meet you. And…I’m sorry.”

I give a quick nod, a lump forming in my throat. “Thanks.” Clearing my throat, I point at his scrubs. “You in medicine?”

“Yep, I’m a resident in pediatric cardiology at Mercy Hospital.”

“Wow, that sounds…I mean, it takes a certain kind of person to do that kind of work. ”

“It is, but a double-edged sword. So incredibly rewarding to bring good news to a kid and family, but not everyone gets good news. My job is to make them as comfortable and well-taken care of as possible.”

“Sounds like my brother’s heart found the perfect home,” I muse.

“I’m taking good care of it.”

“Hey, Chaser!”

I clench my fists because I recognize that voice.

Chase walks past me and I turn in time to see Jack capture him in a bear hug. “I’ve been back for over a week and this is the first time I get to see you?”

“I live the doctor life now,” Chase says with a chuckle. “All work, no play.”

“It’s great to see you.”

“I took a detour on my way home especially to see you,” Chase says. “Otherwise, who knows when I might run into you?”

“Well, if you’re off tonight, I’ll see you at dinner at your parents’ house.”

And, of course, the asshole doesn’t miss the opportunity to slide his eyes over to me when he says it.

Goddammit, maybe I’d like to beat Jack’s ass with the guitar case.

Too bad James already took it home.

“Chase, it was great to meet you,” I say, backing away with a wave. I got the message loud and clear. This reunion doesn’t include me. “Take care, guys.”

Jack flashes a triumphant smirk at me and looks back over his shoulder at Sam, who is jogging over.

I want to stick a flaming fire poker into his fucking dimple.

The smile on Sam’s face fades the second he locks eyes with me and I stop moving, paralyzed to the spot .

“Hey,” he says hesitantly.

We haven’t really talked over the past week. He was at an away game last weekend and has been at practice most of the times I’ve been here.

Besides, it isn’t like I even know what to say to him.

I made choices.

We both did.

Backpedaling isn’t an option.

I need to focus on the future, not the shit in the past I can’t change.

“Hey. I was just gonna take off?—”

“Yeah, so Chase is going to make it to dinner tonight,” Jack interrupts. “Looks like he finally got a night off.”

“That’s great. My parents are excited to see you,” Sam says, his eyes still flickering over to me.

My phone pings from deep inside of my pocket. I pull it out and wave it in the air. “See you guys.”

I can still hear Jack’s voice reverberating between my fucking ears. Makes me want to tear out his voice box and shove it up his ass.

Swiping up, I frown at the text from Ben on my screen.

The label wants to meet. You, me, and Tyler. Friday.

That’s two days from now. And there’s nothing comforting about the message, either.

I scrub a hand down the front of my face.

This could be really bad. The nail in my coffin.

A deep sigh slumps my shoulders as I walk toward the door for another night of nothingness. I tried to reach out to Lane a few times over the past week but he hasn’t returned my calls. I tap on the screen to type out a message.

Hey, I’d love to talk.

My finger hovers over the send button when I hear my name. I quickly hit send and look up.

I swivel around, furrowing my brow when I see Sam jog toward me. “Yeah?”

He sweeps a hand through his dark hair, his lips lifting into a small smile. “I heard James is doing really well with you.”

I shrug. “He’s got a lot of talent. That’s not because of me.”

“Yeah, but you’re doing a whole lot more than teaching him guitar. You’re giving him confidence, a reason to be happy and proud of his accomplishments.” He pauses. “I’ve watched you with him. He’s really responsive to everything you say. You’re a great influence on him, whether or not you want to believe it.”

I let out a snort. “Can’t remember the last time someone said that to me.”

Sadness glows in the depths of Sam’s dark gaze. “How are you holding up? Have you spoken to the guys?”

“Nope,” I say in a flip voice. “Tried with Lane but…” I shrug. “I guess he needs more time. I don’t blame him. I’d have written me off, too.”

“You were going through a lot. He’ll come around.”

“Yeah. We’ll see.” I hold up my phone. “In the meantime, I have a meeting with the label on Friday to see if I’ve got a future with Sin City. I guess I’ll just obsess about that tonight while watching Ink Masters reruns.”

Sam puts his hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “They’re business people and you bring in a lot of cash. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

I swipe a strand of hair from my eyes. “I made my bed. I’ve gotta sleep in it. ”

Sam nods and then he perks up. “Hey, so we’re doing a family dinner tonight at my parents’ house. Chase is off, which is kinda rare. Why don’t you come along? I mean, Ink Masters is great, but maybe you could use some company.”

“And Jack? He’s okay with me going?”

Sam shrugs. “Not his parents’ house.”

I shake my head. “You really are a do-gooder, aren’t you?”

“It feels better than being an asshole.” He winks at me. “Give me your phone and I’ll put in the address.”

I hand it over and within a few seconds, he gives it back.

“7:00. Bring an appetite.”

Sofia runs over before I can respond. “Brixton, I’m so glad you’re still here. Charlie, one of the basketball coaches, was going to watch the kids at the football game tomorrow night but he tore his ACL during a pickup game.” She sighs and rolls her eyes. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you mind going in his place?”

“Yeah, sure. I can do that.”

Sam gives me the thumbs-up. “Maybe James would want to go, too?” He puts a hand on Sofia’s arm. “Can you give his dad a call?”

She nods. “Definitely. Thank you so much, the kids will be so excited.”

After Sofia goes back to the desk, I laugh. “This is a first. Two people in the span of about two minutes thinking I’m a good enough influence on kids to spend time with them. I feel like I’m in The Twilight Zone or something.”

“Yeah, well, if other people believe it, maybe you’ll start to believe it, too.” Sam backs away. “Hope I’ll see you tonight.”

I watch him walk away and definitely don’t miss the flash of annoyance on Jack’s face when Sam rejoins them.

And I decide right then and there that, fuck yes, Sam—and Jack—will see me tonight .

I wiggle my fingers in a taunting wave and Jack rolls his eyes and turns back to Chase.

Screw you, Jack-O. It’s on.