1. Brixton

Chapter 1

Brixton

TWO YEARS EARLIER

I stare out at the screaming crowd, sweat drizzling down the sides of my face. My t-shirt sticks to me like Saran-Wrap, heart thrashing in my chest.

We just rocked the Sun Arena in Oakland and it was more incredible than anything I’ve ever imagined.

This is my fucking life.

And it’s only the beginning.

Since Sin City was signed by SoCal Records, one of the biggest labels in the country, we’ve exploded and been swept up in a whirlwind of concert dates, tour announcements, interviews, and launch parties ever since.

“You guys were so incredible tonight!” My future sister-in-law Allie squeals when she bursts into the VIP suite backstage. She throws her arms around me. “You absolutely lit up that stage, Brix.”

“Thanks, Al. I really appreciate you guys coming for the show, especially when you’re ready to pop. Jesus, I can barely get my arms around you anymore,” I joke .

Her majorly pregnant belly keeps me from hugging her too tight. I grin at my older brother, Davis, who stands behind her.

“You know we’d have never miss being here for you.” Davis claps me on the shoulder, his dark eyes crinkling in the corners. “Besides, this is a pretty big step up from all the crappy places where you guys used to play.”

And Davis never missed a single one of our gigs before he took a job with a law firm in San Francisco a few months ago. He was always there for me.

The only one who was.

So it really shouldn’t have come as a shock that my dad declined my invite to the show tonight. But it still hurts.

“Dad couldn’t make it?” he asks.

I shake my head. He didn’t even bother to make up an excuse.

The ever-present reality stabs at my heart.

I killed his wife.

And even after all of these years, he never lets me forget it.

Nor does he care that I lost her, too. Never even got to meet her.

But I force a smile for Davis, refusing to let the giant ass elephant in the room get under my skin. If Dad doesn’t care enough to be here, then I sure as hell don’t give a good goddamn to acknowledge that he’s missing.

Tonight is the best night of my life, what I’ve worked my ass off for, and nobody is going to take that away from me. Nobody is going to rain on this parade, least of all my fucking prick of a father.

Champagne corks pop, bubbly liquid flows over the tops of the bottles and spills onto the plush carpet around us as my bandmates approach. Lane Maxwell, the drummer and my closest friend in the band, slings an arm around my shoulders and takes a long gulp of the champagne .

“We’re fucking solid gold right now, thanks to this guy.” Lane nods at Davis and holds up the bottle with a wink. “Our lawyer made sure of that.”

Allie lets out a yelp and bounces against my other side, clapping her hands. “I’m so excited for you guys. This is so surreal. Remember all those nights when we followed you around to those dingy ass bars in Hollywood?”

Dak Prescott clinks his highball glass of whiskey against Lane’s bottle. “To us. Tonight and fucking always.”

“Sin City!” we all roar in unison. More cheers erupt from the rest of the people crammed into the suite. It’s a total zoo in the best way. So many friends and family members traveled from a handful of different states to see us debut as the headliner for the biggest show we’ve ever played to date.

At least they all give a shit that we’re about to take off like a rocket.

Aiden Taylor, our guitarist, hands me a bottle of champagne and I guzzle it down. The bubbles shoot up the back of my throat and flood my nasal passages. I’ve never felt more alive than when I’m performing on stage and tonight, the high was the most intense it’s ever been. The screams, the lights, the pulsating music. Fuck, it was magic.

And everyone in that audience felt it, too.

Dak and Aiden grab hold of my brother and pull him over to them, no doubt to talk his ear off about the recording contract we recently signed.

Allie nudges me hard when she sees a bleached blonde girl sidle up to Lane and press herself against him. “What a freaking viper. I didn’t think they let groupies back here. Isn’t this supposed to be a private room?”

I glance at her over my shoulder and grin down at Allie. “With tits like that, you can get access to pretty much anywhere. ”

She lets out a sharp peal of laughter. “I didn’t think you paid attention to big boobies, B.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m gay, not blind. And yeah, they’re damn impressive. Good for him.”

Allie shakes her head. “He can totally do better.”

“Yeah, but right about now, I don’t think he wants better. I think he just wants a sure thing.”

“You’re gross.”

I shrug. “He’s got a lot to celebrate tonight. He deserves it.”

“And what about you? Who will you be celebrating with tonight?” She scans the room and not so inconspicuously points to a tall, dark-haired guy standing in a far corner. I shift and bring a hand to the back of my neck, holding his gaze for a second too long.

“You know I don’t like the PDA shit.”

“Yeah, but he’s hot. And definitely into you by the looks of it.”

The truth is, the other guys can fuck around without anyone raising eyebrows. I’m openly gay, but that doesn’t mean people want it thrown in their faces. So I try to be discreet about my hookups. It was especially hard before we signed with SoCal. I never liked to broadcast my sexuality because I’m the front man. And a gay front man is a hard sell, no matter how talented he is.

Fortunately, the public spoke, and after opening for a bunch of bands in sold-out clubs around LA, SoCal came calling and Davis cinched the deal for us.

I almost feel like I can be free.

Almost.

But something still holds me back.

As anyone in this industry knows, luck can be very fucking fleeting.

So I keep my private life private .

“I’m good. I’ve got you.” I put an arm around her shoulders and hug her close to my side. “This is really the only way I can hug you these days.”

“Are you actually making a crack about my weight? You know I’m pregnant and my emotions are fragile right now.”

I chuckle. “So sensitive.”

“You know, you’re lucky I?—”

She cries out and stumbles backward. Her hand reaches for me, clutching my jacket for balance.

Davis rushes back to us, his eyes wide with alarm. “What’s wrong?”

I snake an arm around her waist. “Al, what happened? Are you okay?”

Her face pales, all color draining from her cheeks. “I—I—” Then her eyes drop down to the pants she’s wearing. A large wet spot spreads across the fabric. “I think my water just broke.”

I look at Davis. “Shit. Is that bad? She’s not due yet. What does she need?”

Allie clings to Davis. “It’s too soon. I’m only thirty-seven weeks. She’s not supposed to be here now. Oh my God, Dr. Micelli isn’t here. I can’t do this. It’s too early.”

“We need to get to a hospital.” Davis smiles and strokes the side of her face. “You can do this. Everything is going to be perfect. I’m right here, and I promise I won’t leave your side.”

He’s always the voice of reason, always the guy you want around in a crisis because he never sweats anything. Even now, with his kid about to be born three weeks early, the guy looks cool as a cucumber.

For as long as I can remember, he was always the rock. Dad would stow himself away in his office with a bottle of Jack Daniel’s whenever shit went sideways and Davis would pick up the pieces .

So I’d totally expect him to grab this situation by the balls. He’s going to be an amazing dad. His kid is lucky to have him.

Kid. Holy fuck.

She really is coming tonight.

I grab my phone and pull up the Uber app, swiping to find a car and a nearby hospital. “I just got an UberX. It’ll be downstairs in five minutes.”

“Clear the path! Lady’s having a baby!”

Lane lets out a whoop and I high five him on the way out. “You’re gonna be an uncle. Uncle fucking Rock Star.”

My heart pounds as we make our way to the side entrance of the theatre. A couple of my security guys tail us to make sure we get to the car without being accosted by fans.

Allie yells and moans and screams every few minutes and my chest tightens every time. “Shit, man, that doesn’t sound good,” I mutter to Davis.

“She’s in labor,” he says calmly. “She’s having contractions.”

“I feel like my uterus is being sliced into with a goddamn samurai sword,” Allie howls, clutching her midsection.

We finally make it outside and hustle over to the Ford Expedition parked at the curb. Davis opens the back door and helps Allie into the backseat before sliding in after her. I run around to the other side and pull open the door before jumping into the truck. Davis stabs his phone screen, and after a few seconds, he lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Was that the doctor?” Allie wheezes, holding her belly.

Davis nods. “Voicemail.

“Oh my God, what are we going to do? He has my birthing plan. We need him!”

The driver glances at us over his shoulder. “She isn’t gonna have that baby in my backseat, is she?”

“Just watch the road and drive the fucking car,” I say .

Davis rubs her back, whispering in her ear, and I clutch her hand.

“Squeeze it if shit starts to hurt again.”

I barely get the words out before her hand becomes a goddamn vise. “Jesus Christ,” I yell. “Good fucking thing I’m done playing for the night. But I need that hand for our next show, so be gentle.”

Her head whips around, her blue eyes slanting me a glare. “Fuck you, Brix,” she says through gritted teeth.

Then she turns to Davis. “I’m so scared.”

The driver looks back again just as the traffic light in front of us goes from yellow to red.

“Red light,” I growl at him.

He whips his head around and slams on his brakes, skidding to the middle of the intersection. Blinding headlights flash in my periphery. I turn my head, my mouth opening to let out a yell that never geta a chance to hit the air before the car plows into us.

The skull-shattering sound of metal crushing against metal assaults my ears, my stomach roiling at the noxious smells of smoke and searing rubber. I rub the side of my head where it slammed against the window. Everything aches.

“Davis,” Allie cries. “Wake up. Please.”

With one hand on my head, I slowly turn toward her and Davis, a sharp pain shooting down the base of my neck.

But it’s nothing compared to the one in my heart when I see my brother.